Neon Genesis Evangelion Pilot's Table
By D.A.
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Title: Thank you
Prompt: Set 1 / Prompt 9 (Appreciate)
Word Count: 2500+
Rating: T
Summary: Instrumentality left a mark on their minds and hearts, each of them knowing the others in a new light. Some just need a little help seeing what it is they already appreciate.
Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion
Notes: On to the other Pilots. In this case, it's more focused around Hikari. Even though she wasn't a Pilot in the series, she has been one in many fanfics. Kudos to those writers, they know who they are.
Part two of the "I knew you then" Arc of my Pilot's Table drabble series. Sequel to the "Awakening" arc.
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Shinji and Asuka both wanted to talk about it with the others. Especially Touji and Hikari. Kaworu had mentioned to Shinji that they seemed stressed by the effects of Instrumentality, the ones most struggling to accept what had happened inside.
In some ways, it was both hard and easy for Shinji and Asuka themselves to come to terms with what they had seen, so they could understand. They knew each other intimately now, having experienced so many lifetimes getting to know one another, and it gave them a whole new perspective. They'd hashed it out, and found their equilibrium with all the lives they remembered. And they knew the others almost as well, for the same reasons.
But they had been at the center of it. Shinji, because Rei/Lilith chose him to be the one in control of the outcome. Asuka, because even at the end, broken as he was, Shinji couldn't let go of her.
Touji and Hikari didn't have that. They had been pulled along at the very edge of the eye of the storm that was focused around Shinji and Asuka. And while Asuka and Shinji had always been near each other in one fashion or another, Touji and Hikari hadn't. Sometimes they had known each other at a distance, other times they hadn't known each other at all. Only a few times within the varied possibilities of Instrumentality did they become close.
And while Kaworu and Rei dealt with their own issues, knowing they needed the others they convinced the two central to all of them that Touji and Hikari needed a talk.
0o0o0
"It was a great idea to have a huge barbeque for everyone, Shinji-kun." Kaworu praised, his voice low and happy, as it had been since they woke on the beach.
In the time since awakening they had reached Ritsuko's cousin, who had a house on the shore of a small cove, and they had gained the house next door. It was an old, grand place, dust and cobwebs everywhere, but in good repair despite the ravages of Second and Third Impact. The five couples had spent days cleaning it and making the many small repairs an old house needs after being on its own for a couple years. By the time they had finished, Gendo and Ritsuko had decided to move in with her cousin, and Touji and Hikari had decided they wanted to stay in a nearby apartment complex where Kaworu and Rei soon joined them in a separate suite. Misato and Kaji decided to take one of the rooms on the ground floor.
Now that everyone had finished moving, Shinji decided they should celebrate with a barbeque. Misato had instantly seconded the idea, and none of the others objected. That was when Kaworu had brought his concerns to Shinji's attention.
"Thanks Kaworu." Shinji smiled at his friend, before turning back and checking the food on the grill in front of him, "Would you mind asking Asuka to come here for a sec?"
"No problem Shinji-kun."
The young Angel moved off, greeting Touji and Hikari in his normal happy manner. A few minutes later, Asuka walked up to him, planting a kiss on his cheek. Out of the corner of their vision they saw Hikari blush and look away from their open affection, while Touji merely grinned. Seeing Touji's reaction gave both of them a small sense of relief, maybe Touji wouldn't need any pushing to smooth things out between him and Hikari. The whole situation had finally made meals with the four of them somewhat awkward.
"Kaworu said you need me?" she asked and pulled back to eye the burgers, hotdogs and chicken critically as her memories of both living on her own and being married made her want to be sure about the done-ness of the food. She asked the question even though she was sure she already knew the reason.
"I think we should talk to Touji and Hikari now, while I finish up the meats." Shinji gently prods one of the burgers, knowing why Asuka was eyeing the food, "Just ask Hikari to come over here while you talk to Touji?"
"Alright, I'm sure he doesn't need any pounding, but Hikari is so edgy..." Asuka sighed, then turned to get Hikari, "You're the better one for reassuring her."
0o0o0
"Hey Hikari!" the redhead called to her friend, "Shinji wants to talk to you for a sec, I'll make sure you're boyfriend here doesn't wander."
"Ok," Hikari smiled, pausing only long enough to see Touji's reassuring smile before walking over to Shinji as he stood beside the grill.
"So, how are things, Stooge?" she asked once the brunette had reached Shinji, "And don't bullsh_t me, Touji. I married you in one of those live, I know when you do."
The young man sighed, rubbing his hands over his face before answering as he looked over at Hikari as she talked with his best friend, "I think that's kinda what's up wit us."
Asuka observed him for a moment, noting the distracted look to his eyes before he turned back to her.
"Hikari still seems kinda bothered by the change back tuh reality," He continued, slight frustration in his voice, "Ya know how proper she is, Red. I get the feeling the lives she remembers where she got wit another guy was..."
"Like she was cheating on you?"
"Yeah..."
"Do you regret us?"
Touji focused on Asuka, carefully watching her studiously neutral expression as he took a second to actually think. Her question had been like her expression, neutral, but he knew it was anything but. As she'd said, they had been married -for several years- and he knew she used that tone when the answer was important to her.
"Never," he whispered, honest and sincere, and was graced with one of Asuka's rare geniune smiles, "There are things I'll regret, but that ain't one of um."
"Damn right," she sighed, grinning before her expression became serious again, "Shinji and I talked it over a few nights ago. We think we, the six Children, needed those interconnected lives."
"Why do ya say that?"
"Because three of us almost couldn't reach out and connect at all by then." Asuka crossed her arms, glancing over to Shinji before turning back, "It helped us rebuild ourselves so we could."
"You're right, I think." Touji agreed, his voice sure as he bobbed his head once.
"I'm gonna go talk to Hikari really quick, Shinji should be done with the food in a few minutes." Asuka started to move away, "Maybe you could talk to Kaworu for a sec. He did marry Hikari in that life."
"I suppose I will," Touji chuckled, and when Asuka raised a brow in question, he continued, "You'll be better for Hikari, ex-wife let the new-wife know that it's ok."
Asuka blinked for a moment as she processed what he'd said, then reached out and slapped his shoulder. Blushing furiously, and trying to look simply furious, she did her best to fight down a grin as she called him a jerk and walked over to the grill.
0o0o0
"Hey," Shinji called gently, smiling as he turned to face Hikari, "How have you been?"
"I've been alright," she returned his smile, "A little tired from moving in at the apartment I guess. What did you want to talk about?"
"The Memories." his smile turned reassuring.
"About us?" Hikari hesitated, "I mean-"
"I love Asuka," Shinji assured her, "we're talking because she and I want the awkwardness to end."
"Oh," she relaxed slightly, still a bit jittery, "It-it doesn't bother you, Asuka being with other guys inside There?"
"No," Shinji said, shaking his head slightly. It seemed Asuka's theory was right, "We needed those other lives to help us really see ourselves and what we could have if we changed. But even then, it was a little different for Asuka and Touji."
"How?" Hikari was curious, and a small bit embarrassed as she admitted, "I-I never let Touji talk about Inside, I usually changed the subject."
Shinji watched her for a moment, taking a moment to check all the food on the grill before he set down the utensils and turned to face her.
"I think Asuka and I are the only ones to be able to recall other people's lives, at least the other Childrens' lives." he said, calm and gentle, "I wasn't really in that life, the one where Asuka was Remiel as well. But the point where you and Kaworu leave that dream, they didn't."
"What do you mean?" Hikari knew the moment those memories cut-off, it was her and Kaworu's wedding day. She blushed slightly at the thought, but focused completely on Shinji's next words.
"They lived Inside that dream until almost thirty," he set his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze, "They had two children. They want those children back. Touji loves you, Hikari, and he wants them with you."
"I-I didn't realize..." she was dumbfounded. It was no wonder Touji had been trying so hard to talk to her, and getting so frustrated with her when she would change the subject.
"Touji really does love you," his hand returned to his side, "You just need to understand the bond he shares with Asuka, and appreciate the changes it made in them."
"I just didn't know," Hikari sighed, "I felt so disloyal, I never thought to ask him what he thought..."
"If I and Asuka know him, he doesn't," Shinji chuckled, "And if he does, she'll straighten him out."
They share a chuckle, and hearing Asuka's laughing call of 'jerk' they turn to find her fighting down a smile and wearing a fading blush on her face.
"Touji went to go chat with Kaworu," Asuka gave Shinji a peck on the cheek as he turned back to the grill, "Can we chat for a bit, Hikari?"
0o0o0
"If I know my Baka, he told you about Mana and Kyo."
Hikari, used to her best friend's bluntness, was never the less unprepare for the sudden statement. She watched her closely, having heard the hitch to Asuka's voice despite her brisk manner, and realized those must be the names of the two children Shinji had mentioned. It was an honest suprise for her, and she wasn't sure how to respond. Asuka was her best friend and essentially her boyfriend's ex-wife.
"He mentioned them," she said, still watching Asuka's face, "Why don't-why don't you tell me about them?"
"You really want to know?" the almost shy, almost giddy smile on her face called to Hikari's mind the smiles she'd seen young mothers display when people would ask about their toddlers and infants, "Guess your talk with Shinji gave you a different perspective?"
"I think I get it now." Hikari blushed, "It's about understanding and accepting. I wish I hadn't been avoiding the subject with Touji."
"I could have told you that." Asuka's smile shifted to a more teasing one, "I can understand why you fell for the Stooge."
"What was Mana like?" Hikari asked, honestly curious to know about the two children that seemed to have left such a mark on her best friend and boyfriend, "and Kyo too."
"Mana was a lot like me mostly, very smart for her age and both commanding and demanding." Asuka smiled, though Hikari could see it was a little shaky, as she wrapped her arms around her middle, "But she was very much a daddy's girl. She took being big sister very seriously, and was also the one you could count on to bring home stray pets. She couldn't leave anything unhelped."
"Sounds a bit like Shinji too." Hikari smiled.
"Yeah," Asuka glanced in his direction, "Kyo was his father's son though. It was always so easy to see Touji in him, no matter what he was doing or saying."
Hikari's smile faded when she caught sight of tears forming in the corners of her friend's eyes. As Asuka turned back, Hikari gently pulled her into a hug, and despite that fact that crying wasn't something she associated with Asuka she was unsurprised to feel a few tears stain her shoulder. Instrumentality had changed of all them in one way or another, some of them in more ways than one.
"I think," Hikari began, letting Asuka pull back before continuing, "I think we'll get to see them again. They sound too much like their parents for us not to."
Asuka brushed her eyes clear and smiled gratefully, "You're right. And I don't mind being Kyo's aunt if Touji can be Mana's uncle."
"Of course." Hikari blushed, smiling back, "I don't want to break that bond you two share. You both mean so much to me, and I know I can trust you."
"That means a lot to me Hikari," the sincerity in Asuka's voice touched Hikari, "Shinji is the one I'll live out my life with, but I'll always love Touji."
"I think I understand," Hikari thought about the times she'd spent with Shinji and Kaworu inside Instrumentality, "In a way, I still love Kaworu and even Shinji. So I can appreciate how you feel."
"Our three men," Asuka chuckled, "Somehow, they seem like the middle of this rag-tag band."
Hikari laughed with her friend, it did seem that way now that she had mentioned it. Odd, in a way, that they would be the focus for so much. Touji had shown Asuka a full life, Kaworu had shown Asuka she could be loved just as she was and shown Hikari a full life, and Shinji had shown both girls that all they had to do was reach out and take the risk because the reward was so very worth it.
And then it hit her.
Asuka.
Shinji had been in control of Instrumentality whether consciously or not, and he had shaped those many lives to help them, but especially to help Asuka. And as she and Asuka spoke for a few more minutes and laughed over stories about Mana and Kyo, she realized Asuka would never accept that. Not that she would be ungrateful, but rather that her sense of worth would still cause her to dismiss the idea of Shinji doing that for her out-of-hand. It made her a little sad, and she realized they still had some work and growing to do.
Instrumentality had only started the changes, they would need to work on finishing them. It made her appreciate her new life and her firends all the more, and she promised herself she would help them like they'd helped her.
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A/N: Well, what do you think?