Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"You hate someone whom you really wish to love, but whom you cannot love. Perhaps he himself prevents you. That is a disguised form of love."

- Sri Chinmoy

-- Chapter 01 --

Was this supposed to be his death?

No. It couldn't be. Maybe this was his comment on wishing someone could kill him coming back to bite him in the ass.

He couldn't die. He was immortal. But what would his existence be worth as a head buried deep in the ground with his body blasted into pieces, hidden all over the forest? Sure, Jashin had given him immortality, but not the ability to grow back his entire body.

He was angry; angry at that kid who defeated him, angry at the fucking Leader for having called him back when he could have defeated them all with ease, and most of all, he was angry with himself for letting his partner be right.

"Be careful or you'll die."

Damn.

Ctrl, a, del.

Hidan reached for his pack of cigarettes, lying on his desk next to his laptop; the pack slipped from his fingers several times before he simply slammed his hand down on it and dragged it closer. He tugged out one of the desired cancersticks, scowling when he saw there were only a few left. The fumbling through his pants for a lighter turned into a real adventure, but after half a minute, he was finally able to take a drag of that satisfying taste, smoke filling his lungs.

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

Damn it all to fucking hell. It had taken Hidan years, years to write the first three books of his most famous series, and to have them all end in such a scene would have been a disgrace.

Why was it that he couldn't find the perfect ending for his book? The immortal had to die; there simply wasn't another way for it to end.

But all attempts of writing the end had turned out to be failure; they just lacked something he couldn't quite put a name on. What was it they lacked? What did he lack?

--

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

Such a simple concept, and yet, it seemed too difficult for Hidan to manage the moment he got out of the taxi in front of the Red Cloud Club.

He reached into his jacket, and ah, breathing was so much easier with the help of a cigarette, maybe some vodka once he entered the club…

He walked towards the entrance, and of course, was stopped by a security.

"Private party tonight, sorry."

Hidan smirked at the security, slipping his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose slightly – because wearing sunglasses at night was just so cool. "I'm fucking invited. Look me up – Hidan San, seriously. Class of 198-fucking-8."

The security quickly checked his list and let him in. Thank fucking God.

The club wasn't crowded yet, but their class had been particularly small, anyway. He already recognized Yahiko's bright orange hair at the bar talking towards Bluey-chan – the nickname Hidan had always used for the only female in the class, Konan – and if he wasn't mistaken, Nagato was with them, too.

"Oh, if it isn't Hidan-san?!"

Hidan raised an eyebrow and looked towards his right; sure enough, the former classclown Tobi was walking towards him. He had grown quite a bit, too… "Hi, retard."

Tobi grinned at him. "I'm so glad you could make it, Hidan-san! Do you want a drink? Everything is for free tonight!"

"Vodka. Straight. In the biggest glass you have."

"My my, Hidan-san, you're an alcoholic now?!"

Hidan glared. "Go get me my fucking drink, you fucking moron."

Five minutes later, Tobi returned with a (too small) glass containing a clear liquid and a man with short, blond hair by his side. "See, Deidara-san, I told you Hidan-san is here! And he became and alcoholic and a chain smoker!"

Hidan grabbed his drink from Tobi before smacking him up the hand. "I'm not a fucking chainsmoker or alcoholic, nutjob!"

Tobi sniffled. "And he's abusive! Save me, Deidara-san!"

Hidan paused. "Wait… that's Deidara?!"

He studied the grinning blond; in his memory, Deidara had long blond hair, always in a ponytail, which made him look sort of effeminate – but while this Deidara still had his one long bang that covered one blue eye, his hair was cut short in the back.

Dei smirked. "Live and in color, hm. Nice to see you again, Hidan – it's been twenty years, yeah."

Hidan rolled his eyes, sulking slightly. "Eat a dick, I've been busy."

"Ah, right!" Deidara smacked his own head. "My girlfriend loves your books; she wanted me to get your autograph or something, hm."

The thing was that hearing sentences like that was still weird, even though his books had been popular for a few years now. People didn't usually recognize him on the street, only when they heard his name did they suddenly get all excited. This was particularly funny when someone had been an ass to him previously.

Tobi gasped. "Deidara-san has a girlfriend?! I thought Deidara-san was gay!"

Deidara narrowed his eyes and glared at Tobi. "I dare you to say one more word, hm."

"Another word? Like about Hidan-san's drug addiction or your sexuality?"

Two men, two fists, one Tobi in a lot of pain.

--

Hidan had to admit that Deidara was good company to pass the time until Kakuzu finally arrived. It was almost like they were eighteen again; drinking, telling stories, being goofy with each other.

It was weird; he actually felt a little sentimental. His old classmates – his old friends – awakened a side in him that he had shown less and less over the years; even Tayuya, whom he loved and trusted as his best friend, didn't get to see him goofy like this.

He wondered what had happened to him. He was 38, smoked too much, lived on vodka and coffee and suffered severe writer's block. Midlife crisis much?

Hidan snickered, bumping his shoulders into Deidara's as the two men hunched over a table together. "I bet Kakuzu is balding and fat…"

"Actually, I make sure I go to the gym on a regular basis."

"Yeah, seriousl-" Hidan froze for a moment before slowly, very slowly lifting his head to look at the intruder.

Damn him. Damn him to fucking hell. Even at nearly fourty years, Kakuzu was the hottest thing Hidan's mind could comprehend. He was still so tall, still so muscular, his skin was the same tan shade it always used to be, and his eyes were still of a stunning green. His hair still hung loosely around his head (though he kept it a little shorter than he used to), and the only thing that really reminded Hidan of all the time that had passed were the small wrinkles around Kakuzu's eyes.

Hidan hated him. He hated Kakuzu for still looking so fucking good, hated him for making his heart skip a beat, hated him for not looking old so Hidan could feel better about himself. He hated him so much that he actually felt sick to his stomach, his fingers tightly gripping his glass with vodka as he stared up at the other, purple eyes wide. "Kakuzu…"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, staring Hidan down. "Before you go around telling what other people might look like, you should take a look in the mirror. You look like shit."

"What are you saying, bastard?!" Hidan's shock was quickly forgotten and he got up, grabbing Kakuzu by the collar of his probably expensive designer shirt. "At least I'm not some wrinkly old man!"

"No," Kakuzu calmly replied, removing Hidan's hand from his shirt without much effort, "you are too skinny, which makes you look ten times older than you really are, and you've gotten unhealthily pale."

"You fucking asshole!"

Kakuzu smirked, sitting down between Hidan and Deidara. "Is that all you have to say after twenty years?"

Hidan glared at him. How dare Kakuzu be so confident? This wasn't the way it was supposed to go; Kakuzu was supposed to be a bald, fat accountant or something like that, not a sexpot who looked down on him! Kakuzu was supposed to make Hidan feel better about himself, like it had been a good thing that Kakuzu had broken up with him because he was a loser now!

Oh, how Hidan hated him.

It took a lot of willpower, but eventually, Hidan managed to force a smile. "I guess you're right, I should probably eat some more…"

"Or stop drinking."

Hidan twitched. Here he was, trying to be nice, and Kakuzu looked right through him. Kakuzu had always had a talent for that; no matter what lies Hidan made up, Kakuzu immediately knew what was going on. They had only spent five minutes together after twenty years, and Hidan hadn't said much, but Kakuzu already seemed to know Hidan's problems.

So if he really did try to get Kakuzu to date him again – would Kakuzu realize it was for the purpose of breaking his heart? Surely, he wouldn't trust Hidan.

There was no-one who knew Hidan better than Kakuzu did; he didn't even have to look at Hidan's face to read his mind.

The question was now: What did Hidan have to do to gain Kakuzu's trust? How could he get Kakuzu to date him again?

Hidan hadn't really changed since back then. Add a pack of cigarettes a day, some vodka at night to fight his insomnia and a severe case of writer's block, there you go, the Hidan of today.

So... if Kakuzu loved him back then, would he love him again, since Hidan didn't really change much?

Nah, it couldn't be that easy; Kakuzu had broken up with him, so that meant he probably didn't love Hidan anymore. Maybe he really should have asked Kakuzu why rather than punching him in the face back then...

He had to try it differently; he had to convince Kakuzu that he was a different person now.

"You know," he announced, interrupting Deidara's and Kakuzu's small talk, "I've gotten fucking rich, Kakuzu."

Ah, yes! Great idea, Hidan! Kakuzu had always been a moneywhore; surely, this would make him like Hidan more!

"So?" Kakuzu looked unimpressed. "I bet my bank account has more zeros than yours."

"My next book is more anticipated than the last Harry fucking Potter book!"

"I have a good reputation as a cardiac surgeon, but beside that, I wouldn't even have to work because I have such a fine hand with stocks."

Tobi blinked, bringing another round of drinks to the table. "Deidara-san, what are those two doing?"

Dei sighed. "Verbally comparing dicksizes, un."

Kakuzu smirked. "And we all know that if we did that, I'd still win. Right, Hidan?"

Hidan was honestly on the verge of bursting from anger and embarrassment. No matter what he said, Kakuzu always one-upped him.

Hidan was angry, and at that moment, he felt so much hate towards Kakuzu that his determination to attempt to break the other's heart was at its maximum.

It took him a lot of willpower, but he forced a confident smirk. "Actually, I don't remember. Maybe you should freshen up my memory."

Kakuzu was too surprised to give a smartass comment, and damn, did that feel fucking good.

"Uh. I don't think we're needed here, yeah." Deidara grabbed the oblivious Tobi by his shirt and dragged him away.

Hidan was still smirking when Kakuzu finally cleared his throat. "Okay. I didn't expect that."

Hidan's smirk grew. "Thanks, I try. So, fucking seriously now, how have you been?"

Kakuzu took a sip of his water. "Life has been stressful, but I'm happy. Wish I could spend more time with my kids, though."

For a moment, Hidan panicked completely. Kids? Kids?! Why the hell did Kakuzu have fucking kids?! That just decreased Hidan's chances of getting back with him by a bajillion! "You're err... you're married?"

"Not anymore." Kakuzu looked down at his glass. "The divorce was part of the stress, but so worth every cent of it."

Hidan raised an eyebrow. "That bad?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You have no idea. All she cared about was spending my money. Didn't work a day in her life, didn't take care of the kids..."

"Then why the fuck did you marry her?"

"Her father was rich and liked me." Kakuzu shrugged. "He pretty much paid my studies."

"You're such a fucking opportunistic asshole, seriously."

"Says the guy who probably had to suck a million dicks to get where he is today."

"Hey, I got where I am for my fucking talent, asshole!"

"Yeah, you were always talented at giving head..."

Hidan scowled at him. "Hey, hey, I know you want me really fucking bad, but flattery won't get ya anywhere."

Kakuzu smirked. "We'll see. Now, how have you been?"

"Hmph." Hidan crossed his arms over his chest. "Besides some writer's block, I've been fucking amazing."

"So I take it you haven't married anyone."

Hidan snorted in response. "Please, marriage is nothing but a fucking prison, I'd never get married!"

Kakuzu kicked his leg slightly under the table in a teasing way. "Of course, no-one would even want to marry you."

Hidan raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smirk. "Aren't you too old to play footsie?"

"I wasn't playing footsie. I was kicking you, it was meant to be violence."

"Abuse!"

Could someone please explain to him why it came so natural to go back into flirty banters with Kakuzu? It might have been the way they had always acted towards each other twenty years ago, but damn, with all that time, you'd think it'd be different now.

They talked so much, but they didn't really say anything. Everything that came from their mouths was meaningless, but it didn't seem forced, wasn't awkward.

When it neared midnight, he didn't even notice that he hadn't smoked since Kakuzu arrived, or that he forgot his pack of cigarettes back on the table. He hadn't realized that he started drinking water to cool his throat rather than drinking vodka to make his mind go numb.

All he noticed was that Kakuzu smiled (it was more of a light curl in the corners of his mouth, but that was as close to a smile as you could get from him) and that their knees brushed when they sat in a taxi together (because Kakuzu's hotel was actually only a few blocks from Hidan's apartment).

He climbed out of the taxi when they arrived at Kakuzu's hotel because that just seemed natural. He paid the taxi driver because Kakuzu was a stingy bastard. He followed Kakuzu to his room, and when Kakuzu pulled him inside he chuckled because this was just so much easier than he thought.

--

Tayuya practically threw herself into the chair in the tiny café she and Hidan liked to go to together. "Okay, fuckface, it's ten in the fucking morning on a Sunday, why the hell did you call me?"

Hidan pushed his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose and pulled his light brown leather jacket a little tighter before lifting his cup of black coffee to take a sip. "Don't you want to know how the fuck everything went last night?"

"I guess." Tayuya scrunched up her nose. "By the way, the scarf you're wearing is totally fucking hideous."

"It's Kakuzu's." Hidan smirked, raising an eyebrow and unwrapping the scarf from around his throat.

Tayuya's eyes widened slightly. "Whoah, someone's a fucking biter. Still, running around with hickeys is better than that ugly-ass scarf."

Hidan snickered. "I told you, I stole it from Kakuzu. He'll want it back, so he'll have to come see me again."

The pink haired woman raised an eyebrow. "Wait, I thought you were breaking up with him?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "It was just a fuck, Tayuya, it's not the same if I tell him to fuck off now! We were together for over than a year!"

"So you'll date him for a fucking year, or what?"

"Of course not." Hidan rolled his eyes yet again. "Just so long until I feel it'll fucking hurt him enough. He's got to feel like I'm pushing a fucking knife into his heart and twisting it around."

Tayuya sighed. "I'm starting to regret giving you this idea…"

--

Geez, Hidan, make up your mind.

Let me know what you think :)