Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki

Chapter 2-Open doors, Potty mouths and troublesome duos

Christiana wished she stayed over at Lucia's. It's my entire fault! She thought. Why did I leave the door opened? She thought staring at the ground wishing she could sink in.

"Is there anyone else?" Itachi asked.

"No one else is here," Kisame said. As soon as he said it, a shrill but loud cry was escalating from upstairs.

"Kakuzu please go and attend to it."

The one standing behind Christina and Michael grunted, and then he left for upstairs. Christina hoped that he wouldn't strangle Baby Gray.

Itachi then glared at Anna who glared back. Ignoring the hostility he said, "Hidan you may let go of her now. I'm pretty sure she understood my statement earlier."

Hidan grunted but he let her neck go but not without giving her a slight shove. Anna nearly fell but she managed to catch herself and looked at Itachi. To Anna he said, "My comrades and I are quite lost. You see, we have been living in this world for about a day and we very confused as to where we are. We followed your sister to this house because she was the only one we saw to follow."

Christina looked perturbed that four criminals had followed her home.

Itachi continued, "Anyway we mean no harm to you unless you refuse cooperate and answer our questions then there'll be problems. Is that clear?"

Christina wanted to yell at him. Who did he think he was barging into their house like that and keeping them hostage? But he was addressing Anna not her so she kept quiet.

"Okay I understand," Anna said. "Ask your questions."

"Firstly, where are we?"

Christiana wanted to laugh. Was he serious?

Anna looked surprised but she answered, "California, Richards Bay near Santa Monica beach."

"Don't play games with me," Itachi raised his knife, "in a heartbeat I could kill all the ones you hold dear to you."

Anna hesitated and then said, "I am not joking. I am dead serious. We are in CALIFORNIA. Country, AMERICA. Planet EARTH." For every sentence she dragged her words slowly. Itachi gave her a glare. Did she think he was stupid?

"But this place doesn't even look like Earth country," the large blue man said, "and they don't even dress like Earth civilians."

Itachi turned to look at Kisame, "That's true too. It seems that the woman really took us to another world. And her chakra felt familiar…" Itachi dismissed the thought then he turned to Anna.

"I believe you. And you must believe me. My name is Itachi Uchiha, former ANBU member of the leaf village and a missing Nin; currently a member of the Akatsuki. Thanks to Hidan…"

Everyone then turned to the shirtless guy who had occupied the empty cushion. "Why the fuck are you all staring?" he said.

Itachi continued, "thanks to him we have all been sent to another world and he is apparently cursed. We have nowhere else to stay so we have decided amongst ourselves to take refuge of this place. That is not an option for refusal. You understand?"

Christiana wanted to kick him in the balls. They had their hands tied to their backs and these maniacs who have no idea where America was where trying to steal their home!

And it seemed Anna was thinking on the same thought pattern because she replied stammering, "eh - What?! But …but you can't j-just barge into my house…"

"How do you get this thing to shut up?"

Apparently, Kakuzu had returned and was holding Baby Gray who was being held by the stomach, crying non-stop The sight of it made Christina's stomach churn and Baby Gray's sad face made her angry. Why would you hold a baby like that?

Anna then yelled, "Give the baby to me!"

"Who told you can talk bitch –"

"Shut up!" she yelled at Hidan and stared a Kakuzu in the eye, "Give me the baby. I can make him stop."

Kakuzu grunted as he handed over the baby to Anna who quickly, but carefully took the baby from him and carried it in the proper position. In less than seconds Anna had reduced Baby Gray's yells and screams to coos and whimpers.

"I thought you said there was no one else," Kakuzu stared at Kisame.

"Why? One small little baby too much for you to handle?" Kisame jeered at him.

Kakuzu frowned, "At least I am a half blind man fish." He said sarcastically.

"I am a shark not a fish!" Kisame showed off his sharp teeth that made Christina's skin crawl. Despite the fact they were hard-core murderers and house-thieves they sure argued a lot over stupid things.

"Alright next question," Itachi said acting as if the small misfit between his two companions was a normal occurrence, "do you by chance, have ninjas, or missing Nins in this, Richards Bay?"

Christina wanted to die. She stared at Michael who kept looking at Kisame in awe. Michael caught her eye and whispered in an excited voice said, "They are ninjas? COOL! do you think they'll train me to be a ninja."

Christina wondered if he was the same child that was scared that he was going to die, just some minutes ago.

"No," Anna said voice not quivering or high but at a normal tone.

"Alright and last question, do you by chance know of any woman or witch with red hair-"

"And has a knack for using stupid fish quotes."

"And is a bitch that loves cursing people."

"She is nosy, annoying and obnoxious, like Hidan – but powerful, unlike Hidan." (Hidan then glared at you-know-who who just smirked).

"No." Anna said very slowly because she was very confused as to why some random criminals, who were planning to crash her home, were wondering if she knew an old grandma with magical powers and had a taste for fish jokes.

"That's all. And since you cooperated we'll spare your lives. Kakuzu you can release those two and Kisame go outside and take a look out. I'll study and get more information on our whereabouts. When you are done err…" he turned to Anna.

"Anna." she said.

"What a weird name!" Hidan observed aloud.

You think my name is weird? Anna thought angrily, what kind of name is Hidan or Kukuzu?

"Anna shall all give us a tour of the house." Itachi said ignoring Hidan as usual.

"HEY! What about me! I have to do something!" Hidan whined as he stood up.

Hidan sit."

"But –"

"You've caused us a lot of trouble recently. So your duty is to sit quietly and do nothing."

"Fuck that! I have a right as an Akatsuki member –"

"Hidan shut up," Kakuzu grunted at him, "If it weren't for your stupidity and ignorance we wouldn't even be here now. so you don't' have any right, as of now-so just sit and do as you're told."

Surprisingly, Hidan sat down quietly, without a word. Okay that was an exaggeration. Hidan yelled, "FUCK YOU KAKUZU!" and sat down sulking. But it was a miracle itself that he even sat down in the first place.

As Kakuzu released Christina and Michael from their ropes and Kisame went outside; Anna decided even though these men were going to be living with them, this house belonged to her and her siblings and they weren't in complete control. She took a deep breath (for she'll need all the confidence in the world) and then looked seriously at Itachi, "ok I'll allow you err, people to stay over in my house but… there would be some ground rules."

"What?" Itachi asked even though he knew he wouldn't really follow then anyway.

"Well first of all, in this world weapons aren't allowed and also killing people randomly isn't allowed either," (Hidan wanted to say something, but was caught off by Itachi's glare. Also Just at that moment Kisame came back in and gave a signal to Itachi the place was secure) "you can't just threaten people or kill them or else you'll get arrested." Anna continued.

Itachi nodded, "Alright but where shall we keep them?"

"Um…" she hadn't expected him to be so…agreeable, "in the basement. There's a closet there and all of your weapons will be secure."

"Alright everyone," Kakuzu said dryly, "Bring out all your weapons and place them in this sack."

"Even Samehada?" Kisame asked fearfully.

"Yeah even that."

The three siblings were astonished by the amount of weapons the four men had on them. If the police were here they would all get arrested for even having that large amount weapons in the first place.

There must have been 50 short metallic knifes (kunai), 50 metallic weird shaped small spiral things that looked like four of those miniature knifes were connected together by a point; (in other words a shuriken) papers with Japanese writing on it (explosive notes) and a other things and not surprisingly, no guns.. Plus Kisame's huge sword was added to the pile but not before he whispered goodbye to his sword, ''Sammy, I'll miss you!'' Kakuzu then packed it all in a huge brown sack. (Why was Kakuzu carrying a huge brown sack in the first place?)

"Ugh," Anna said not quite recovered from the amount of weapons she had seen. "Second rule: don't threaten to kill people and no use of any of your special…abilities in here. It isn't normal and if you are seen you may become a science experiment and probably dissected. You wouldn't want that."

"Itachi, you know, something about that science experiment part, strangely reminds me of Orochimaru…don't you think so?" Kisame wondered. Itachi nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry about that," Itachi said to Anna, "We are shinobi and we will use our Justus when we have the need to."

"Ok also there would be more rules but those are, like, the basics. Yeah and also…" Anna turned to Hidan and shut him an angry look. It was clear that Christina's sister disliked him, probably more than the others, "no swearing when the kids are around."

"What the fuck!"

"Are you deaf or something?" she yelled back, "I have four younger kids living under this roof and it would be a whole lot better if you kept your nasty comments to yourself!"

"That's it Itachi!" Hidan yelled, "We're going to kill this bitch! She can make me follow some stupid rules, take away my weapons, but monitor my speech pattern! That's blasphemy!"

"Wow Hidan I am surprised you know what blasphemy is," Kisame joked.

"No, I am even more surprised he has enough brain cells to form the word 'monitor'. It seems that the time we've spent here, has increased his intelligence," Kakuzu said sarcastically.

Before Hidan could respond to the insults Itachi quickly said, "Enough Hidan, if what this girl said is true, then we are like babies, ignorant little children who know nothing about this world. It would be best if we followed her ground rules, with some limitations of course, instead of killing her and gallivant around the village, destroying everything without purpose, until we ourselves are eventually killed. So don't swear."

"Oh!" Anna quickly said, "and if you do, I'll uh…put soap in your mouth!" she declared.

Soap? Really? Christiana thought really wishing the earth would swallow her.

"Yeah right like you could try it!" Hidan said but then kept quiet for five seconds, "is there any food in this world 'cause I'm fuckin' starving!"

"Baka," Kakuzu muttered.

Christina really wanted to die

Anna thought she was cursed. Her Dad died, leaving her with a mum that dated men from different continents and eventually took the family's money and ran away, leaving a seventeen year old to take care of things AND now, she had four psychotic killers in her house, demanding for refugee, threatening to kill them and the Mr Potty Mouth of the group was now demanding for food. Her life was nothing but messed up.

The one keeping them all together and letting her and her siblings live (Hitachi was it?), told Hidan he should wait and they should decide sleeping arrangements. Itachi told her that the sleeping arrangement was partners in case of attacks from hostile people. Anna wanted to tell him that in this world, it was unlikely people would come and attack them randomly, but she decided it was a lot simpler this way than explaining the crime rate in America. Anna had dropped Baby Gray on his cot when he fell asleep so her hands would be free.

Itachi and Kisame took the laundry/guest room the only free room in the house, while Hidan and his partner Kakuzu took Christina's room. Christina herself would move in with Anna since Anna had a bigger room, she told Itachi. They all seemed satisfied with the arrangements (except Christiana of course but she didn't complain). Also as for bathrooms they had the guest bathroom downstairs and that wasn't a topic for discussion. Christina went upstairs to move her stuff to Anna's room while Anna led them all to the sunny kitchen table, so she could get them their food in the other side of the kitchen.

Meanwhile Michael seemed to have taken an interest in Kisame because he went up to him and asked, "Are you really are shark? And a ninja? What sort of cool powers and stuff do you guys have?"

Anna was alarmed and worried Kisame might harm him but Kisame instead gave him a casual grin (which was a fail due to his large teeth) and answered his questions. Later they began having a somewhat friendly conversation both by the window table. Itachi brought out a newspaper (don't ask me where he got it from) and sat on the main table, trying to gather information on the world despite the fact that he didn't understand a single thing that was written on it. Hidan sat demanding her to hurry up with it. Kakuzu grunted as usual.

Suddenly two blurs of red and green ran into the room. It was what Shikamaru would have called, if he were present, 'the Troublesome Two'. When the 'troublesome two' got inside, they were surprised at the high number of people in the kitchen.

The first one had her short black slickly hair, in pigtails wearing a green nightdress, stared at Kakuzu with big green eyes jumping jump and down, trying to figure out what to say.

"What?" Kakuzu grunted. Alright, he knew he was not one of the best looking guys out there, but hey, no need to stare!

"My name is Tasha! Your EYES!" she yelled, "They are green like Sister Anna. But they are also RED! You have REALLY PRETTY EYES!"

Kakuzu was dumbfounded. Hidan was shaking on his seat, laughing at Kakuzu, "Kakuzu eyes are PRETTY! OH MY shit!" Kisame chuckled and Michael snickered but covered his mouth with his hands. Even Itachi smiled a bit until the second one, who had her short black hair in a ponytail and wore a red and pink (but mostly pink) nightgown yelled at Itachi, "HI PRETTY LADY! My name is Sasha. I think I like your eyes better! You have beautiful red girl eyes!"

Itachi's almost smile turned to a glare. How dare she mistake him for a girl! If anything had changed, Hidan laughed louder, Kisame chuckles became more frequent and Michael was on the floor nearly wetting himself. Itachi brought the newspaper closer to his face creating an illusion that he didn't care less if the child confused his gender. In reality he was using the newspaper as a shield to hide his annoyed face and his embarrassment. Kisame would never let him live this down.

"Itachi I thought Deidara was the cross dresser amongst us, but it seems you have taken his place!" Kisame jeered at him.

It's this bad, Itachi thought depressed from behind his newspaper shield. The teasing has already begun and it hasn't even been 5 seconds.

"I see you've meet Tasha and Sasha. the both of them are really hyperactive." Anna had returned from the other side of the kitchen, wearing an apron and some gloves with dough on her clothes, with an astonished look on her face mostly because her two younger siblings didn't seem to be the slightest scared of the newcomers.

"That's an understatement." Kisame said.

She then turned to Michael surprised he was still here. "Michael! Don't you have any idea what time it is?"

"Ugh," Michael scratched his head awkwardly, "Go to school time?"

"No, Duh. And you only have about an hour and a half to do this: go upstairs, check up on Baby Gray. If he's awake feed him his breakfast. You know the red container. Also tell Christina to hurry up and get ready for school. So scat." She ordered.

"Aw…" the boy grumbled but he exited the kitchen with a "see ya," to no one in particular.

The atmosphere calmed down, as Hidan sat straight on his sear and Itachi lowered the newspaper.

"Tasha and Sasha, you hungry?" Anna asked the twins.

"What about me?" Hidan yelled but as usual he was ignored.

"Yes Sister Anna!" one of them replied, "I want Blue berry pancake!"

"Me too!" the other squealed so loud, Kakuzu almost felt like strangling her if it weren't for the rules of this world, "I WANT BLUEBERRY TOO!"

"Okay just sit on your chairs– I'll be back in a minute."

"I can't believe the bitch had the nerve to ignore me," Hidan grumbled to himself.

"'K sis!" they both said as they bounced to their down to her seat – right and left of Kisame's. Tasha saw him and her mouth gaped opened. Her sister wondered why she was so quiet but when she saw Kisame, she did the same.

"What?" Kisame wondered.

They both squealed, "BLUE!" at the same time and began holding unto his cloak, attempting to jump on him to satisfy their curiosity, or to really see if he was truly blue, while asking various questions. If it weren't for his ninja training, the twins would have tackled him to the ground. "Hey let me go brats!"

"Are you a fish? Are you a real giant?" one asked of the twins asked.

"No I am not some stupid fish!"

"No! He is a shark man, stupid!" the other yelled, "See he has shark teeth!"

Kisame turned to face the twin, "yes you're right uh…"

"My name is Tasha Mr. Shark man!"

"My name is Kisame!" Kisame growled, "Not some Shark Man. Learn it and GET OFF!"

"No, Kis-a-me please play with me!"

"No, his name is Kisame dummy! And his is my friend –NOT YOURS!"

"I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND AND STOP digging your nails INTO MY SKIN!" Kisame stood up and tried to get the toddlers to stop clinging to him, but they stuck to him like pesky little magnets.

"So your skin is really blue? COOL!"

Kakuzu chuckled at the look of Kisame's face, Itachi was still annoyed that the twins thought of him as a female and Hidan was practically wetting himself on the kitchen floor screaming, "OH MY JASHIN!" It was clear he thought that the Kisame incident was way funnier than Kakuzu's and Itachi's.

"BE QUIET!" Anna yelled. The kitchen then became so quiet that only an idiot would break it.

"Hey where's our food Bitch?" Hidan yelled at her breaking the silence then he realized she was holding a flat plate with a pile of golden brown flat thingies on top of each other – what kind of food was that?

"Sister Anna was does that word mean?" one of the twins holding Kisame's right leg asked innocently.

"He is truly a baka." Kakuzu said to himself.

Anna glared at Hidan so ferociously he almost felt afraid. "What the fuck did I do wrong?"

"GAAAH! F-"

While the rest of the Akatsuki ate their food on the table, Hidan ate soap by the sink. Anna had held him by the hair, and anytime he began to swear, she made sure he swallowed soapy water, which was the interval of 5 seconds. Of course the Akatsuki members laughed at Hidan's predicament while they enjoyed the pancakes. Hidan was clearly angry – at his fellow Akatsuki members and especially Anna.

"BI –"

Splash!

"WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?!" Anna yelled very annoyed while Hidan just recovered from swallowing a mixture of ariel with water, "you broke one of the ground rules! And you'll eat soap till you APOLOGIZE!"

"I AIN'T APOLOGIZING TO YOU, BIT–"

Splash!

"What's Sister Anna doing to Mr Potty Mouth Kakuzu?"

Despite the fact that Kakuzu had a grumpy attitude one of the scariest faces ever, Tasha liked him so she learnt his name and in less than seconds she could pronounce it easily. Kakuzu didn't mind as long as the brat didn't cling on to his cloak as they did for Kisame.

"Punishing him."

"Why?"

"Because, he is a baka of the highest level, "Kakuzu said.

"What does baka mean?"

"Well…" even though the food looked strange, it was extremely delicious and Kakuzu had already eaten about 5 pancakes had 4 left and was still hungry. The twins were also eating their pancakes but they were paying more attention to the guests eating on the table mainly, Kisame.

"Baka means an idiot," Itachi stated. He had simply limited himself, to just one pancake with a dab of syrup and a bowl of strawberries and was currently sipping some herbal tea, which Anna showed him where the supplies were being kept in the house.

"Itachi is a smart girl!" Sasha said proudly, smiling at Itachi not noticing the annoyed look on his face but she did notice the snickers of the other two men on the table.

"He,y what did I say?" Sasha asked quizzically.

"Tasha…" Kakuzu began.

"My name is SASHA!"

"Whatever brat, don't yell in my ear. Itachi is a guy."

Her eyes widened in realization. "Itachi is a pretty boy then," she said feeling quite proud of herself, while Itachi nearly dropped the mug in hearing that comment. Kisame gave a fish grin at Itachi. "Well, it seems you have upgraded from a pretty lady to a pretty man. Maybe you'll start wearing pink dresses eh Sasha?"

"Yeah Kisame! Me and Tasha will dress him up in pretty blue dresses not pink! Pink for is girls – BLUE is for pretty boys!"

"Yes and we'll finish it off with a pretty blue hat," Kisame joked.

"Yeah and also turquoise bows for Itachi's hair!"

"No, red bows!"

"You are going to give Itachi new hairstyle right girls?"

"Yes!" they squealed and began chattering on how they would give Itachi a whole new makeover.

"Kisame."

"Yes Itachi-Chan?"

"Shut up."

"Whatever you say, Itachi-Chan."

"APOLOGISE!"

Hidan didn't ask for all of this. Ok well maybe it wasn't a wise idea to eat food from a crazy hag's garden, but it wasn't his idea to follow that emo chick all the way to this house.

It was pitch dark. Four figures walked in the darkness with only the red clouds on their cloaks visible. They were walking and looking around, eyes and completely confused.

"Where are we?" Hidan asked, "Where is that demon bitch? Damn, when I get my hands on her I'll make sacrifice of her, so good Jashin-sama would be proud."

"Hidan, you idiot; you can clearly see that no is even here," Kakuzu grumbled angrily staring high at the many stars in the sky, "and I don't even think we are anywhere familiar."

"We have been here for about three hours," Itachi said, "it seems that the lady sent us to a dangerous place. Especially, when we came across those large fast moving monsters; we should be careful were we step."

"You're right," Kisame said, "the constellations here are wrong, too. So many lights and I can't even tell if we're north or south." Kisame then said thoughtfully, "Probably someone will know where we are and we could find a way to get back home."

"Good idea Kisame," Itachi nodded. "First we need to gather information about this place but don't separate. Even though there are no hostile chakras in the area, it wouldn't be wise to split up."

"So we basically go and start killing people to get information, eh?" Hidan asked stupidly.

The other Akatsuki member glared at him. Kakuzu asked, "Do you know what your problem is? You are a big fool."

"wha –"

"If you hadn't been stupid, in fact it if weren't for you, we wouldn't even be here," Itachi said, "you wouldn't have lost your immortality to some seal nor would we have failed our mission. Now Hidan listen carefully: you have a mission from me. From here on out I shall be the leader and you must obey everything I tell you or else I'll make you relieve the worst moments of your life. And now I am telling you to be silent. If you do anything wrong. Kakuzu wouldn't hesitate to have dead and no one would stop him."

Kakuzu cracked his knuckles, "I've been waiting for this." Hidan whimpered.

"Kakuzu we can't have him dead yet, we need all the manpower we can afford. So Hidan do you understand the terms or do you need Kakuzu to elaborate?"

"Yeah sure, you are terms are fucking crystal clear," Hidan grumbled but he seemed agreeable.

"What's that?" Kisame said and he jerked his head towards what had caught his attention. It seemed, just a few feet away bright flashes of light blue, red and green alternating along with the loud music escalating from a medium-height brick building – the source of the disturbance.

"Let's check it out," But Kisame didn't really need to say it because the other Akatsuki members were already on the move.

Hidan tongue felt wet and so…soapy. Anna had gotten tired of sinking Hidan's head underwater and Hidan was also tired of eating soapy water. As he approached the kitchen table Kakuzu asked him, "So did you apologize?"

Hidan ignored him because as he stared at the plate that was formerly full was now empty. "Where is my f – food?" Hidan yelled.

"Right here," a tired voice said behind him, handing over a plate with five pancakes to him, "The condiments are in the fridge. Ask someone to help you if you are too stupid to find them. I am going upstairs to have a rest. Come on Tasha, Sasha - it's time to prepare you for school."

"OKAY!" they shouted but as they got up from their seats they seemed reluctant to be letting go of Kisame. Kisame thought otherwise, as he was quite relieved when they left him alone.

When Anna left with the Twins, Hidan took one of the chairs and began chomping down on his pancakes so fast, enjoying his meal despite, the fact he was muttering about different ways he could kill Anna with every bite.

Itachi then dropped the newspaper on the table, "I call an Akatsuki meeting."

"Finally."

"It's about time."

"*munch crunch*"

"What do you think of our current residence?"

"That Anna is a flat-chested Bitch that needs to be dead." Hidan grumbled as he finished off his last pancake.

"That we haven't accomplished what we came for," Kisame said.

Kakuzu nodded in agreement. "This Anna girl is just some civilian girl with issues that concerns none of us. She doesn't have the answer we are looking for and she has nothing to offer us. I don't think we'll be going home anytime soon."

"So we are just stuck here. What should we do in the meantime – I mean from what we've gleaned this world is chakra free, and I doubt anyone knows about us – or even the existence of ninjas."

"Yes Kisame, but we should be careful," Itachi said, "and learn all we can about this world. I have a theory that if we know more about the jutsu and this world we'll find our way back. Also Hidan try to find that seal she used to suppress your immortality. If we gain some knowledge about it, we could break the seal. We can't afford you as a liability Hidan."

"Whatever."

"As much as your theory is likely to be true Itachi, I am more worried about how that woman knew a lot about us." Kisame said.

" she called herself a 'time traveller' which explains her knowledge. she must have gathered information about us. But why would see target the Akatsuki? and how can we fight against a time traveller's jutsu?" Kakuzu glanced at Itachi with a pessimistic expression.

"Don't worry about it," Itachi said, "I am sure we'll find a way. After all, for every justu there is a weak spot. We just need to find the weakness in this jutsu."

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