Well, I gotta say, this one was pretty good. It started out simple enough, notice I said started. It was simply just another one of my-successful-schemes to break up them. Kim and Jrd, ew. I can't even type his name, he doesn't deserve vowels. Lucky for me, it's been a very nice hobby since he saw her in the first place. If you're reading this, you should know what I mean by "saw". Just to make this clear, this whole situation which you're about to read, is all... his fault. Everything.
So, let's talk about me now. I am told, and I know, that I am one of those rare evil geniuses who could embarrass somebody, anybody, without breaking a sweat. The good part was that Jrd had become the new toy for my games, which he hates, but you know what? I love it, so it's not my fault he has to go all sobsob on me. My recent plan involved a little thing that, shall I say, involved hot glue plus Jrd. So here's the recount:
I had planned this all night and it was perfect. I noticed that Kim had spent a large part of the day setting up the living room. She placed candles around the room, scented by the way, and even bothered wearing a so called "sexy outfit". It was so obvious what they were planning and I spent the greater part of this waiting in my room until the "cute couple" went to their room. Anyway, I won't deny that my sister was pretty. I wasn't sure what she had done, but her hair had a wavy look and it looked smooth. Her eyeliner blended neatly with her lashes creating a lose effect of bright eyes. Damn her. She made me look like a drug addict. What I was really waiting for though, was to catch them in a pretty compromising position, if you catch my drift.
I left my door open a crack and quickly walked to a desk. This was important, and I needed to find something good! I wrenched open a drawr filled with movies. At random I picked on and made a quick glance, just to be sure it would seem convincing. JAWS. ...oh well, it'll do. With my DVD in hand I walked back to the door. I had my movie and set my trap. I was ready. I held my ear against the door and peaked through just a crack. I could barely see them, doing things that I didn't really want to say, but not enough to be sure. The best things came to good people. With that in mind, I burst through.
The door pushed open, but not hard enough to slam the wall. If I did that, then I might be caught. See, I thought these things through first. I took one full glance and yelled. Surprisingly, even to me, it wasn't fake. I won't go into details, but let's just say it wasn't a pretty sight. Most of the clothing looked like it was thrown on the floor and Kim's hand was stuck in a pretty disgusting place on Jrd. After this, I probably should've felt sorry, but even to this day, he doesn't deserve vowels. I don't think he ever will. When Kim's eye caught mine, she leaped up with a rush and attemped to lunge at me. For one, it didn't work so well. I was already on the way up the stairs, two by two. It also didn't work out cause, well, she took Jrd with her. Surprise surprise. Yet her strength powered by her anger and embarassment still wasn't enough from stopping me from fulfilling my plot.
On the way up, I yelled for Mom and Dad. My voice was strong and had a slight hysteria to it. I'm still not sure to this day if it was fake or not. "MOM, DAD!" I stood at their door slamming my fists into it without mercy. Hey, it was a door, it could be fixed later. "I WALKED INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH A MOVIE AND I CAUGH KIM AND JARED ALMOST HAVING SEX ALL OVER THE COUCH!" I'm not 100% sure, but I'm almost sure that the statement got through to them pretty well. I quick backed away to the side, and I swear I have never seen Dad run so fast in my entire life. Even when I had got a nail stuck in my foot! It makes me feel hurt... but I'm over it now.
His voice was thick with profanities flying out of his mouth. They were almost inaudible to me, but I was lucky enough to catch them. I'll make sure to store them in my mind for later to use on Jrd. I also heard something about saftey for his daughter, though I can't be positive. I hope he didn't mean me though, I feel fine. I switched my head to Mom who was right behind him. They were jumping down the stairs faster than they let me! Am I not allowed any rights in this house anymore? Why does Jrd get more rights then me? Oh well, it's not like I fit in that well with the family.
The 'rents ran into the main room and caught Kim and Jrd making out. The scary thing was, this time they had no clothes on. Did they not hear me screaming up the stairs or something? Maybe I need to work on that. Kim and Jrd sprang apart-not an easy feat with that glue-and what saddened me was the fact that Kim tried to hide her boyfriend behind her. I can't believe she thought that'd work. It's sad because I'm related to her. Mom noticed me a few stairs up and began pacing toward me. My hand was gripped onto the edge and my face contorted into a grossed out expression even though I was kind of fascinated. Not like that, it's just that Kim has never gotten in trouble like that and I wanted the parents to yell at someone other than me. Boy, did they really get into it, I think they forgot I was there.
Dad's face was turning a very... odd purple shade. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON THIS COUCH? YOU ARE RUINING A TME HONORED TRADITION FOR ME AND YOUR MOTHER." He paused, just a split second though, to catch his breath when he noticed that they were still holding each other. "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS GLUE? THINK IT'D BE COOL, HUH, FIRST TIME AND YOU HAVE GLUE?" His forehead crinkled with anger and his eyes narrowed to slits. Dad never got this mad, even at me. "WAIT, THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME, RIGHT?" It was a very weird conversation, and I was thankful for being a witness. Every night I pray to God, every dinner I thank God, just for this night. I thought it'd never come.
It was kind of weird though, and believe it or not, it got even weirder. His eyes cast down to where I was standing, absolutly horrified, "AND YOU! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN COME DOWN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, LITTLE GIRL?" What? Was there some rule now that I wasn't allowed in the living room too? I already lost the privilage to the kitchen and all I did then was take and hide a few knives! Where was the harm in that? I raised my voice in protest, but he was past noticing, "YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T EVEN CARE!" His voice boomed and everyone, except Mom of course, flinched. For a hopeful moment there, I was so sure he would throw Jrd out. Sadly, it didn't look like the day.
On the other hand, Mom was more thoughtful, some would call it sensitive I guess. I must've had a lucky break though because she still wasn't letting down. "KIM! I THOUGHT I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS! HERE YOU ARE, ON A COUCH FOR GOD'S SAKE, NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO PROTECT YOURSELF, NOT EVEN MARRIED, AND... AND WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT'S MINE!" Her voice slightly shook at the end, and it was now clear that she was trying to fight the tears that were beginning to slip down her cheek. Kim looked down, eyes wide, in embarassment. She fingered the fringe of the lingerie-which I soon indeed recognized as Mom's. The best part was that her hand was still grabbed onto Jrd, erm, down there. I wish I had caught this on tape. At least I'll always have a good memory, and a good event for blackmailing.
He shifted uncomfortably, probably wishing Kim would let go. Actually, I take that back. He's probably wishing she would let go in front of her parents, but go back once they were alone again. Yes, it's so obvious. Dad stomped over there and... oh. My. Chocolate. Best part, ever. He snatched a particularly strong grip and ripped Kim's hand off of Jared. The glue was torn off, and I heard some... nice things, but the look on Jrd's face-was priceless. Yes. He stood still as a statue, but he was doubled over. Well, it wasn't getting interesting now, so I inwardly sighed and I was just getting ready to leave when I saw it.
Scratch that, this was the best part. I must've been like a good angel in my previous death. God loves me. Dad was-and I promise to all that is sacred to myself-getting... hard... at the sight of his own daughter in a lingerie. WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP WORLD IS THIS? My eyes widened, and I completely forgot about my dropped expression. My mouth lifted up and my mouth was hanging in a bright clown-like smile as if I won the lottery. Yes.