"Ever since I can remember
everything inside of me
just wanted to fit in
I was never one for pretenders
everything I tried to be just wouldn't settle in
If I told you what I was
would you turn your back on me?
And if I seemed dangerous,
would you be scared?
I get the feeling that just because
everything I touch
isn't dark enough
that this problem lies in me ..."
~Monster by Imagine Dragons
Mary ate from one of the forbidden fruits in the bowl. "Not until dinner, Mary." Her lady governess, Lady Salisbury said. She was one of the few in her party who were allowed to call her by her first name, along with Juno.
Mary threw the rule book out the window when her stomach growled. One bite of one apple, wouldn't hurt. Unfortunately, it did. Juno came charging at her, chastising her for disobeying her lady governess' command.
"I only took one bite."
"One bite is enough. Look at it. It has your teeth marks all over it. What will Her Majesty say when she comes and sees your offering dirty like this?"
"She can buy a new one." Mary said, not really caring for what the Queen had to say about her 'gift'.
"Mary you are going to be the death of us all. Go into your closet, I will tell your ladies to dress you while your lady governess and I look for a new arrangement."
She wanted to tell Juno it was no big deal, but seeing her look, made her rethink that.
When Anne arrived, carrying her two-month old half-brother, Prince George Arthur, she remarked how alike Mary and him were in looks and temperament.
"And he likes you, he rarely likes anyone. Do you wish to hold him? You must start learning for when you become a wife."
Not this again. But Mary bit her lips and nodded her head, unsure if she was going to enjoy a baby's company. Surprisingly, she did. He didn't cry, or make a fuzz like most babies did. He was quiet and didn't pinch her cheeks or laugh at her.
"He is beautiful, isn't he?" Anne asked.
"He is. Congratulations Your Majesty."
Anne gave her a short smile. She wished her stepdaughter would warm up to her. She could understand why the hostility at first but that it had been five years since she married Henry. You'd think she would have acquired some good sense by now.
Perhaps it is not meant to be. Anne refused to believe that. Even if it killed her, Anne was going to win her over. Not for Mary, but for Anne because Mary was still seen as a symbol of the old world to some, and having the English granddaughter of the Catholic Monarchs in her pocket would be Anne's greatest accomplishment.
"Mary, your father and I have been talking."
"About what?"
"About you of course, and we have agreed to send you one of his yeomen as an intellectual companion for when you are bored."
"Why can't I have Doctor Linacre or Juan Luis Vives, or any other Humanist?"
"Those men are old, stepdaughter. Mr. Diamond Glass is young and he and his brother share a lot of your intellectual pursuits."
"Why not send me his brother then?" She asked crossing her arms, earning the disapproving looks from some of Anne's ladies, including the great prostitute and widow, Mary Carey.
Saphir Glass she could tolerate. He was good to look at, and unlike other boys, he was quiet and respectful.
"We believe Diamond Glass would do you much good." Anne said, omitting the real reason behind this. A man as passive as Saphir wouldn't stand up to her and point out her flaws. She loved the young man, he was well intentioned but didn't have that ambitious streak his brother had.
"Fine, then." Mary said.
"I am glad you have agreed. Nothing matters more to us than your happiness. I will come back later, your brother needs to be back in the nursery with his wet nurse." Anne said, ordering one of her maids to send for the yeomen.
Mary sighed when she left and he came. He had that same 'look at me' smirk he had whenever she saw him on the great hall. This is going to be one long day.
~o~
"May I make an observation?" He did not wait for her assent. "You are a delicate flower, or so you like to appear before the other ladies of the court, but you are not. Anyone with half a brain can see that you are a strong woman but you lack discipline."
"What-"
He continued. "You are pig headed, you don't listen to anything your lady stepmother says -and why would you when she is just a commoner and you are the daughter of two great monarchs, and the granddaughter of two greater ones at that. Yet she is your stepmother and custom dictates that you obey her."
She was silent, but he could see that she was angry. Her cheeks were flushed red. This man, this nobody had put her in her place that rankled her.
"Face it, Princess. Whether you like it or not, she is your superior and if the rumors are true, then that brat is going to be your superior one day as well and your father … well your father will just forget about you. When he has daughters from her body, he will marry them off, ship them off to some good country to become queens and ruling duchesses while you will be stuck here, a living reminder of everything he fears. The old world vs the new and I don't think I need to tell you which one always wins."
"You are too eloquent for a yeomen of the rose guard. Are you sure you didn't come from somewhere else?"
He chuckled. "Commoners can't be quick witted, is that what you're implying?"
"No, I am not implying anything. It is just … the way you act, stand and behave, one would mistake you almost like a Prince." She emphasized on the 'almost'.
"I am a quick learner and if you had been in my shoes you would have learned quickly as well." He sat next to her, she moved away but he moved closer until her shoulder hit the wall. "You don't have to listen to me, you don't have to do anything. But this is the life you were born into and just like everyone else, you have to make your own path and the only way to do that is playing these people's games.
"What if the game entails me to lie? My mother's faith is the only thing I have left of her."
"It's the way of the world Princess. And it's what Christians do best, do they not?"
She eyed him with big eyes, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You don't believe in God?"
He shook his head. "No one ever gave me a reason to."
"That is just awful. If my lady mother were queen, she would see that things were right for everyone."
"But she isn't, my lady. Anne Boleyn is and that is the truth you have to stick with. I am not saying you have to believe the nonsense she does any more that you believe the nonsense you do." She glared at him. "Just bow your head, say a few prayers and thank her for showing you the light."
She considered this.
"Everyone is doing it. Even the most faithful are doing it. You know what Sir Thomas More and his family say to one another every time they have to look at the King and Queen holding an English bible to the people? They smile and tell themselves that it is ok because God understands what they are doing and one day, when judgment day comes they will renounce their false beliefs and die for the one true Catholic Church." He chortled at that.
His mother had been right. Humans were the odd species. They prayed to an invisible force -a force that deep down they knew didn't exist- yet they still clung to that belief and were willing to die for it.
"You're asking me to become something fake. Pretend. I don't know if I can do that."
"Of course you can, your grandparents married under a false bull. They didn't care what the papacy said when they thought they were right. They made the rules as they went, convincing themselves it was what God would've wanted. You can do the same, it's not that hard. Your lady stepmother probably did it too, and so did her father and her brother before she came back from France."
Mary was still unsure so Diamond did the next big thing and showed her how it was done. When Anne Boleyn passed through the halls of Whitehall, Diamond emerged and complimented the Queen's great work with the poor, and showing the true way of Christ.
Anne smiled at the guard's audacity, but just as Henry enjoyed some of his men's boldness, she enjoyed some of yeomen, like this one, boldness.
"And may I say, Your Majesty, my brother and I are deeply thankful for allowing us to be part of the King and Queen's entourage."
"The pleasure is ours. Though there is no need to thank us as it is customary for the yeomen of the rose guards to accompany His Majesty and his Queen wherever they go, I imagine it isn't something that low-borns are used to."
'Us', Anne, like her mother, always conscientious that people might be spying on her, never referred to herself in the 'I' but rather used the royal 'We' and 'Us', to make a point that she and the King were one body of government, and that as his Consort, she was nothing more than an extension of him.
"I am afraid not, Your Majesty." Diamond said.
"Mary, why don't you come and join us darling. We are having a picnic tomorrow and it has been months since I enjoyed some good time in the sun since my churching. What do you say?"
"I'd be delighted Madame." She said, forcing herself from saying what she truly felt.
"Good, then it is settled. And Mr. Glass, here." She gave him a golden sovereign. "As a token of my appreciation for you and your brother."
"That was brilliant. First time you didn't bark like a dog." Diamond said once she was gone and they were back in her chambers.
"Don't flatter yourself. She gives golden sovereigns to every idiot who compliment her. She is just like my cousin. Someone says something nice, and she is all head over heels for that person."
"I don't think is that, I think she genuinely likes my charm."
Mary rolled her eyes. "You are silver haired and make for something of a curiosity, especially in a palace that was given to my father by Cardinal Wolsey and got its name because of the white stone used to build it."
"Didn't know you had an interest in architecture."
"It is common knowledge. You'd do well to read more on things that actually matter instead of showing off your looks. It is stupid."
"The Queen and her ladies don't think so. They love to dance, recite poetry when they are not babbling about the gospel like you do."
"I don't blabber, I speak my mind and my faith is the true one."
"That is what all believers say Princess." Diamond said. He put the golden sovereign in his pocket. The designs were poorly made, and the most awful he had seen in all the known universe. No doubt his brother, who always collected this sort of junk, would love it and make good use of it.
"Why don't you believe in God, though? Really." She said when she sat on the sofa, resting her feet on the table in an unlady-like manner. "Everyone has to believe in something."
"There were times when I did believe in a higher force, but stuff happened and one day I realized that believing I was special, that there was something out there that wanted me to have a great destiny for me and my p- family was rubbish so I stopped."
"Don't you think that maybe that is why you are here? That God guided your every movements so you'd come into my father's service with your brother and be favored by him and his wife?" Diamond was about to respond but she beat him to it. "It is not every day that someone from a low background such as yours plummets to where he is now. I can understand your brother, he is not as stubborn or painfully arrogant as you, but you … even with your odd looks, you wouldn't have gotten to where you are unless there was something watching over you."
Diamond was silent.
"Make it what you will. The stubborn ones never listen." She said using the words he'd previously used for her, against him, sharing a little laugh as he grinned at her.
"Master Cromwell." Henry called his Master Secretary. "I have been reviewing what you said and I think you are right."
Thomas Cromwell smiled, pleased that His Majesty was finally going to follow his advice regarding his daughter.
Henry had been having nightmares again. They had returned two fold since the birth of his son. The future he had prevented could still come back, in many different ways and the only way to prevent that from happening was by sending Mary away.
She would rebel, she would scream but in the end she would submit just like the rest of his subjects.
"It's time I find a husband for my pearl."
"What?" Mary nearly screamed. They couldn't be serious. She looked to Juno but her expression said it all. She looked back at her new governess, Lady Bryan.
"No! I want to see the Countess of Salisbury right now. My father can't do this. She would not allow for this to happen."
"My lady, I am afraid there is nothing you or I can do. Lady Salisbury has been dismissed due to your cousin's heretical writings regarding His Majesty's new religious policy, and you have been placed under my care."
Mary squeezed her fists.
"I am no happier than you are by this change my lady. Let's make the most of it, shall we?"
"I am not My Lady, I am Princess Mary Tudor, daughter of Henry VIII and his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. You go into my father's throne room and tell him I don't want this!"
"My lady, please calm down. Too much excitement can cause your womb to become swollen."
"I don't care what you say, I am not my lady, I am a Princess!"
Lady Bryan gave her a sad smile. How could she put it to this pig-headed stubborn child? "Your Highness," she began using her preferred titled "you are a Princess, you are a king and queen's daughter, however you are to be wed to the future Duke of Bavaria and Count Palatine. Since he is not yet the former, only the latter, you are to be referred to as Lady Palatine or Lady Mary. Whichever one you'd like. If you wish to be called My Lady Countess, to avoid confusion among the other lady Maries, then you will."
"How could my father do this without my consent?"
"Kings don't need their pretty daughters' consent my lady. I shall come to you with a new wardrobe for you to choose. His Majesty and his wife have instructed me that you are to look your very best for when the ambassador arrives."
Mary didn't reply, she sent a shoe hurling her way which missed her new lady governess by an inch.
"Good day, my lady." The Lady Bryan said in a crisp tone, exiting her bedchamber. If the little princess was going to act like a child, then lady Bryan would treat her like one. She didn't have the time for such antics.
~o~
"You brought this on yourself. If you had treated the Queen with more respect-"
"Don't talk to me about respect. You see me as a little twerp." His eyes widened. "I am not stupid, I know what people say behind my back." She gave a dry laugh. "Now I'm going to be shipped off to some forsake duchy to be what? Countess of nothing? Duchess in waiting?" After a long pause, she said "I am not going."
"You are crazy, you know that."
"I am not going Diamond. I am not going to be sold off like this. If the future Duke wants to marry me, he will do so but under my own terms. I won't accept less."
He was impressed. "You have certainly grown in the few weeks we've known each other. What are you going to say when the Ambassador comes? He won't be so pleased."
"He will have to listen to what I have to say and relay those terms to Philip, otherwise, here I will remain, happily single."
"You don't mean that. Nobody really wants to be alone."
"How do you know? What is so good about being married? Chained to one person for the rest of your life? No, thank you. That is not me."
"What do you want to be, then?" He asked, curious.
She smiled and got on top of her bed. "A Queen, a warrior like my grandmother or better yet, like Artemisia I of Caria who fought to fend off the Greeks and whose courage was recognized by everyone."
"You have a way with words. Poetic for someone so little. Those are some big ambitions Princess, what makes you think you can achieve them?"
"I don't, but it's what keeps me going." She confessed getting down from her bed.
Prince Diamond envied her. He was like her once. Maybe you can still help her. He wished he could take her and his brother, so it would just be the three of them and find some spot in the known universe where they could live eternity together, safe from plots, intrigue and self-righteous deities.
But you are deluding yourself Diamond. Just like the Neo-Queen Serenity, she will reject me and think little of my advances. I am nothing but an insect to her. A commodity, a pity object, nothing more.
How can you be so sure? His conscience egged him to kiss her, but he was afraid. He had his heart broken, he was not about to see it turn into a million pieces again.
Just tell her. So he did and needless to say it didn't go as well as he expected ...