Emma woke up to the sound of a clock ticking. She blinked a few times and the thought settled in that it was probably the middle of the night.
She pulled back the covers and stood up to peer out the window for confirmation. The world was silent and dark, and the only noise around was tick, tock, tick, tock.
Taking a look at the other bed, she witnessed Henry and Neal snuggled up together. She felt her heart melting to pieces until she remembered how angry she had been with Neal just hours earlier.
She opened the door to the balcony and took a seat in one of the mideval themed chairs. She felt as if the beach was staring at her, and not the other way around. It taunted her with the words of empty promises made.
"Hey," she heard as the door creaked open.
Her muscles tenses up at the sound of Neal's voice and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She took a deep breath before speaking.
"Hi," was all she could say.
After he took a seat he continued.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, turning towards her.
"I'm fine," she shrugged.
Silence. There was so much to be said, but not enough words to say it all at once.
He hurt for her because of the sleepless nights in a jail cell at eighteen years old. The way she had to give up their son because she had no choice. How he had made her happy at one point in life, made her believe in happiness, just to break her and destroy her without meaning to.
She hurt for him too. For the sadness that lingered in his eyes caused by things he never explained to her. How he beat himself up for so long for leaving her, thinking he made the right decision. Even the thought of Tamara lying to him from the start, which made Emma's blood boil.
"When did you get to Tallahasee?"
He heard the suspcion in her voice.
"I don't know. I was there the moment I thought you were out of prison."
Her heart hit the floor. She blinked a few times, trying to get her eyes to stop stinging.
"Why didn't you talk to me?"
"Emma, I didn't-"
"Why didn't you talk to me?!" Emma yelled, throwing caution to the wind.
"The kid's sleeping, keep it down a bit," Neal whispered angrily.
"You have NO reason to be the angry one here!" she yelled, fully closing the door that linked them to Henry.
"Yes I do- Stop telling me how to feel when you-"
"I what?!"
"You were with another man!" Neal yelled.
Her heart felt like it had just ran a marathon. She thought for a second that it might actually beat right out of her chest.
"I saw you drive him around in our ca- that yellow bug of yours. The way you looked at those clubs in the middle of the night with the spotlight on you. You and all those friends of yours that he introduced you to."
She curled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them, almost like a sheild.
"The early mornings when you left his house and you looked like a hung over, beautiful mess. I saw it when you moved into his house, the smile you gave him when he offered to carry your boxes in for you."
His voice was shaking, and she thought he might even cry.
"I- I wasn't going to take you away from someone that made you happy. I told that to myself over and over again before I left Tallahassee. But the moment I left, I realized that I was scared. I was scared to love you."
Her facial expression went blank as the tears rolled out. She didn't sniffle, didn't sob, hardly even blinked.
"I searched for you for God knows how long and when I found you- When I saw you with him, I knew there was no forgiveness from you in my future."
"He was married."
She choked on the last word, her cry turning into sobs.
His hand flew up and covered his mouth before he could elicit a gasp. He imagined his eyes looked as big as the moon above them. He let a tear slip out but brushed it away quickly.
"Emma please don't cry, you're gonna make yourself sick again," Neal pleaded with her.
"How do you know that's what even happened? Why do you even care, at all? You have a good reason to be angry," she argued between gasps of air.
He made his way over to her chair and crouched down next to it.
His right hand made circles on her back and his left held onto the chair for balance. He was taking a risk touching her but she didn't pull away. That was a good sign.
"He moved me in to be the nanny for his children. He gave me food, gave me money to spend. I had never lived that nice. But once I was around the kids, I starting feeling guilty. I was spending time with these kids I barely knew when my own son was out there without his parents."
She stopped to catch her breath.
"I left him, but I will never forget how worthless he made me feel. I waited for you for two years and then I got the hell out of Tallahassee. I did it to save my sanity."
She always hyperventalated when she cried, and he knew that. When it didn't slow down, he felt his anxiety level go from 50 to 5,000.
"Let's stand," he suggested, pulling her up. He lead her to the edge of the balcony. She leaned on it and focused her eyes Neal.
"Breathe," he reminded her.
He flashed her one of those sad smiles that he was famous for.
"Why are you doing this for me?" she said, gasping between each word.
"Emma, I know how you operate.. And it doens't matter what's going on between us. I'd stop what I'm doing to help you when you're this upset."
Her breathing was becoming regular again and the relief that flowed through him was unexplainable.
"Come on," he said, gesturing towards one of the chairs.
He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. She curled up in a ball and snuggled into him. Her breathing was still uneven and her chest was jumpy, but it was hardly as bad as it was before.
"Thank you," she said, and he could tell she wasn't just thanking him for calming her down. It was for finding her after all, for watching over her. It was for letting her have what he thought was her happy ending. For loving their son, moving to Storybrooke, coming to Scotland with them. It was for every "thank you" that she was too angry to say.
"Tomorrow there will be none of this," he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
"What's happening tomorrow?" she yawned.
"I say I make an amazing breakfast, we take Henry to the beach to swim, we let him fake house hunt for his own amusement, and then we have a bonfire on the sand."
"That sounds... Great," she said, and the sleepy sound of her voice made him smile.
When he noticed she was asleep, he carefully slid off his jacket and laid it over her.
Hopefully that was the worst the vacation would get.