A/N: Ohai, Im back after the long wait…Sorry about the beginning of this story, I know it sucks, but it gets better…
Summary: I am lonely without you, I can't even think, Just come back, I need you, I dunno who I am without you, The world has been destroyed, Oh wait, I'm Bella Swan...
I'm Bella Swan.
This is my life.
This is my private journey, telling my tale…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------Monday Morning.
I woke up to the sound of my annoying alarm clock, beeping inconsistently.
I tried to turn it off, but I just ended up on the floor, tangled in my duvet with a stack of books on top of me.
Gee, what a nice way to start my day!
I turned my stupid alarm clock off and limped to the bathroom.
I put the shower on, which sprayed me with freezing cold water again. I wiped up all the water which went everywhere then I dragged my scales out from the cupboard under the sink which I promptly dropped onto my foot AGAIN, and with a throbbing foot, I stepped onto the scales.
I'd gained 2 pounds.
Fuck. My. Life.
Why would anyone want to be friends with me?
I looked in the mirror, and the ugly duckling glared back at me.
I hate my life.
Im ugly, everybody hates me. Why am I here? Was I put on this planet for God to laugh at me?
I got the razor out of the cupboard and looked at the shiny blade...
A pain I could control...
A dream, not a nightmare.
A dark feeling deep within me itched for the blade, sometimes physical pain is much more better than
emotional...
I held the blade to my wrist, and paused briefly.
Then I cut...
I watched as the blade broke through the skin, relief washed through me, I let out a soft moan of pleasure as I cut deeper and deeper, until I felt warm liquid cover my wrist, I looked down, a dark crimson liquid, smeared out, bleeding down, covering my forearm in the glorious red, shining, and trickling steadily down, dripping onto the floor.
I fell to the floor, and cut the other wrist, laughing crazily...
"Bells?" A voice came up the stairs.
Shit. Charlie.
What was he doing here?
"Bella, I just came back to get my lunch. Victoria will be here soon" His voice faded as he clunked to the kitchen.
I wiped the blood off my wrists with a towel, and bandaged them
I took off my pyjamas and went in the shower....
While I was in the shower, I heard Charlie say hello to Victoria, which meant he was going and Victoria was here….
When I got out, I wrapped myself in a towel and went back into my room where Victoria was waiting.
"Victoria...." I whispered, but she cut me off.
"No Bella. What have I told you?"
I looked down. "Eating is bad"
"And why is eating bad, Bella?" She started pacing.
"Because I'll be fat and ugly, and nobody will like me" I mumbled.
"Exactly. Why did you eat?" She demanded.
Victoria is my best friend. She has been for a few months.
She "moved" here 5 months ago from New Hampshire. I was instructed to show her around, and we became
"friends."
Then she started taking over my life.
I looked down.
"I don't know"
The words had scarcely left my lips, when I was slammed against the wall by her.
"Stupid bitch" She hissed "How can I help you if you just throw it all back at me? Don't you want to be pretty? Don't you want people to like you? Do you want to be ugly all your life?"
You see, Victoria "believes" she's helping me.
She's also a vampire.
But she can't help me if I disobey her.
When I disobey her, she has to punish me.
Punishment hurts.
But it's for my own good.
I think…
3rdPerson
Victoria threw Bella to the floor, and kicked her
ribs repeatedly, some of them cracked, clearly signalling that they were broken.
She whimpered, even though any sound would make the punishment ultimately worse, and Victoria pulled a lighter out, and flicked it on.
Mike came through the door, laughing nastily, obviously enjoying his girlfriend's treatment
He pulled her up, roughly pulling her arms behind her back, forcing her to stand.
Victoria put the lighter infront of her face.
Bella leaned away, trying to escape the blazing fire in front of her face.
"Careful," Mike said mockingly from behind her. "Don't get too close to her hair."
"What, you mean this close?" said Victoria. "Or this close?"
Bella had to twist her neck to evade the flame. The brightness left an afterimage, and she could feel heat on her skin.
"Oops, that was close. I think her eyelashes are too long anyway, Mike, don't you?"
Bella was fighting now, but Mike was astonishingly strong. And the more Bella struggled, the more the grip hurt.
"Let go of me-" she gasped out.
"Look into the fire. What do you see?"
Bella didn't want to obey, but she couldn't help it.
"Yellow", she thought. "Fire is yellow and orange. Not red like they say."
Victoria's eyes flashed, and she flicked the lighter off.
She disappeared for only a second, and then she was back in a flurry of red hair, and a silvery gleam.
A knife.
Bella panicked, twisting and turning, but she couldn't escape, Mike was too strong.
"Now now Bella, not so fast." Victoria sneered, twisting the knife so that it gleamed in the light.
[Warning, this is where all the nasty stuff starts.]
[Don't say I didn't warn ya!]
Mike pulled her towel off, and stood infront of her, pushing her roughly onto the bed, where he produced 2 pairs of handcuffs.
He cuffed her hands and feet to the bed, then gagged her, sitting in between her legs with another mysterious knife, and positioning it over her left thigh, digging in.
He started to carve some words, and Bella struggled and tried to scream through her gag.
She got the gag loose and screamed, earning a slap from Victoria, which instantly stopped her screaming.
Victoria replaced the gag, and used the knife to carve into her right thigh.
They turned her over, which was easy as her ankles and wrists were thin enough to rattle around in the cuffs without any difficulty.
Mike started on her back, carving deeply, writing FAT BITCH, the blood dripping down her back, smearing it all over the duvet.
This was a different kind of pain.
BPOV
A pain I couldn't control...
A nightmare, not a dream.
Silent tears fell down my face.
I remembered a quote from somewhere-And so the darkness rained down upon the angel.
Victoria started smashing my room with a baseball bat, whirling, kicking, hitting, anything in sight and out of sight was broken, shattered into a hundred pieces.
All my pictures, my memories, my computer, my books, all gone, everything I had.
She broke the baseball bat when she hit a wall but she just shrugged and started again, this time just a swirling tornado of fiery red hair.
Nothing could stop her.