Monday, December 12, 2011- 1000 miles from Quantico, Virginia

A week passes without him saying a word to me.

For a man that was so focused on the team's function, it baffles me that he feels silence is the best way to deal with me on anything, work related or not. There are no, "good morning," or "good nights," – there aren't even conversations about the case, directly to my face. I know that he hasn't completely shut me out- I have caught him watching me from afar at least twice a day. The profiler in me says that he's either not dealing with this emotionally at all. It could be for an array of reasons.

The week passes with changes in Dave, Spencer, and Derek's behavior towards me as well. Dave and Spencer are avoidant of me and Derek, like Aaron, watches me carefully from afar. This "use kid gloves around Emily " method is also expanding outside of the team. My mother has somehow found out about what has happened between Aaron and me and is in great fashion, blaming me. The other agents in the bullpen also give me pity looks for being the girl that fell in love with her already taken boss.

All I know is that it's getting harder to handle to handle this problem with Aaron along with the major crap that's going on outside of my work life.

Some seriously major crap that I don't want to talk about at the moment.

Today, the team and I are on the jet returning from North Bend, Oregon for a serial child kidnapper case. My mind seems to freeze up every time I think back to those poor children. I shouldn't feel like this since I've dealt with serial kidnappers many, many times. It's not often that my personal life affects my job performance, but…life's a little rough right now.

"Em?" JJ is sitting next to me on the plane, where she gives me a gentle nudge. "Look at Hotch. He's too calm about this."

"About what?"

"You two! I can't believe he hasn't said a word to you all week! He has to the end of the day or I'm going to kill him."

I glance over to the Unit Chief, who is sitting on the opposite side of the cabin. Aaron is deep in conversation with Rossi over in the corner where they usually have their usual "post case pow-wows."

"I can't say anything," I whisper back to JJ.

She gives me another nudge in Aaron's direction. "Oh yes you can! He cannot think that silence is the best way to go- you two need to sit down and have a serious chat!"

My response comes out a little harsher and loud than I intended. "In case you haven't noticed, Jennifer, it's a little hard to walk up to Aaron right now! It's like I don't even exi-"

My mind freezes over the realization that everyone, including Aaron, has just heard me.

Jennifer slowly sits up from her laissez faire position on the couch next to me. My eyes are stuck on Aaron, who's looking at me in pure confusion. Spence and Derek are looking back and forth between us as if they were watching a tennis match.

"Prentiss, a word?" I hear from Aaron.

Those cursed words!

I nod and reluctantly follow Aaron to the back of the cabin, where the bathroom and dining area is. His back is turned to me as we walk, leaving me clueless on his emotions. When he finally turns around, Aaron is in once again in Unit Chief mode.

"I thought you said that we were ok," Aaron states. It reminds me of a child singing But you said…..

"I know…it's just, um, you haven't talked to me at all week."

"Yeah. I was just trying to give you space-"

"I don't need space. I just need time."

"I can understand that, but my first priority is-"

"The job. I know, Hotch." It's the first time in a while that I've actively called him by that name. He tries to respond back, but I hold up a hand. I'm so angry and I want to snap back and remind him that I'm feeling like hell not just because of him, but because everything else that's going on.

I never get the chance to as his phone rings.

"Answer it. It's probably Beth," I tell him before walking away and angrily returning to my seat. Jay knows exactly what to do and allows me space to curl up to my book to drift away from this hell. Jay plays protective sister and sends glares to everyone on the plane as a warning to leave me alone.

And it works.

For the time being.

January 2, 2012- West Clover Cliffs, Washington

A month has gone by without incident between Aaron and me.

However, that same month has gone by with everything else in my life going to hell. It's also the second of January and my gut is telling me that like on the third of December where Spencer spilled my secret, something bad once again is about to happen.

The first warning sign is Aaron.

It's more of his overfriendliness that's the problem.

The no hug, barely smile, and laugh very little man is smiling, chatty, and very friendly. According to Penny, it's the Aaron that they had all known before I joined the team. Although his behavior towards me is still somewhat avoidant, Aaron is in bright mood towards everyone else. To the guys, they see as normal, but to the girls, especially me, something isn't right.

The second warning sign is the news I receive this morning.

Two months before Spencer blurted my secret, I had found out that one of my closest friends had gone missing in Iraq. Because of the little girl inside me that didn't want to jinx any chance of rescue, I only told JJ and Penny about it. From then on, I had been worrying about my friend's safety until today.

Today, I wake up to the news that the friend, Daniel Hardwick was found dead.

The third warning sign is my physical health.

Two weeks before December 3rd, I had contracted a severe case of bronchitis. It had been so bad that I nearly collapsed on a case in Montana. Everyone had known that I was ill, but by the end of the first day on the case, Aaron had given Derek temporary control of the team and flown me home. Aaron took care of me for a week- that kindness is the one thing that's keeping me from believing a worry that Aaron truly hates me.

Now, six weeks after I had recovered, my body is beginning to ache again- a hint that I'm either catching pneumonia or bronchitis. It's not something a person in mental health state needs right now.

The fourth warning sign is the Police Chief on this case.

He is an unusually chatty man- thin with eyes that sparkle every time he sees you, whether you are a stranger or not. In his overfriendly mood, Aaron and Dave warm up to the Police Chief and bond instantly. Right now, both men and the Police Chief are talking about golf after we have finished an arson- murder case.

"What the hell is going on with Hotch?" JJ mutters as we watch him. I can only shrug my shoulders and reply, "I don't know- I really don't."

She knows that it's not just Aaron that I'm referring to. "How are you?" she asks.

"I'm tired, Jen…just so tired." Its true- at the moment, there's no fight in me. I am not unsure whether I can take another hit.

And then I hear something that shatters my world.

The police Chief asks Aaron, who has just finished a phone call with a mystery caller, "Ooh, sounded like a nice call. Let me guess… would that be a girlfriend or a wife calling, Agent Hotchner?"

And Aaron answers, "Actually, no." He has every team member's attention and yet I feel like he's only talking to me. "She's actually…..as of last night, my fiancée, Beth."