SHATTERED: Split
Chapter 2- Paying Respects
I had smiled then, but, at night, I lost my smile, for I was having a nightmare, something that confused me, and scared me, disturbed my unconsciousness, worse than a fox or badger ever could.
I stood in a dark forest, and I was older, I could tell. I was so much taller. I cast a quick glance towards a dark puddle near me but to my disappointment, nothing had changed. I still looked the same, except for a single scar across the side of my face. "Nothing will change, Splitkit." Someone whispered in my ear. I looked around but saw no one. "I am you, Splitkit."
"How?" I whispered, keeping my voice low. "But you, I, sound so different."
There was a soft laugh, but it seemed strange somehow, sad. "I am your future self. You can talk to me as a different person, if you'd like. I may as well be." There was another soft laugh, but it seemed harsher.
"How does that work though? I'm here, but you aren't." I had not understood and to this day, I still didn't.
"I have about as much knowledge as you, Splitkit, about this. I just know I'm here, and supposed to change something. But I don't know how." I heard a bit of hopelessness in her voice, and I couldn't change that.
"Maybe you could start by telling me where we are?" I suggested.
"No, no. That wouldn't help. All you need to know right now, Splitkit, is that you are in a safe place, with Sun, and enjoy it. Do not listen to those who may mock you because of your differences. Okay?"
I nodded, knowing I should listen to my future self. It only made sense. "I will, me in the future."
There was a laugh, but it seemed more amused than sad or harsh this time. "Good, Splitkit. Have sweet dreams. I'll see you later, but you should have some rest."
I nodded again. "Okay, bye me!" The scene faded away before my eyes, and I slipped again into that blissful darkness she had called rest.
It was a few days later. Sun had came into my small den, after it was announced that I was able to eat prey now. I didn't know what that meant at the time. As soon as he came in, I asked him. "What's prey Sun?"
"Um... Here, try this." He pushed something that I supposed was prey towards me.
"It's a small flier." I protested, having dubbed the things I had seen circling in the sky 'fliers'. "Why are we eating it? Wouldn't that hurt?"
Sun looked panicked. I must have been more perceptive than most kits were. "It won't feel anything, Splitkit. It's sleeping."
"But what happens when it wakes up?"
"It won't Splitkit. It's flew off to a better place and left this for us." Sun looked confused himself, so I didn't question him any further. I still didn't understand though.
"It won't mind?" Sun nodded, and I took off only a feather, and started chewing tentatively. It was soft, but something pointy poked the inside of my mouth. I figured this small piece wouldn't hurt it too much.
"What are you doing?" Sun looked even more confused now.
"I only took a small piece, in case it wants to come back and fly somewhere else." I explained, the piece still in my mouth.
"It won't want to, Splitkit."
"But why would I take more? This is enough in my mouth already."
"You pull those off and set them aside."
"But that would hurt it! It won't be able to fly anymore!" I meowed, aghast at what he was suggesting.
"Here, let me show you." Sun pulled off some of the feathers, and pointed at a place in between the feathers. "Bite here, okay?"
I did, softly, only taking a small piece. It was delicious, but still felt wrong somehow. I ate some more, but only to fill my stomach. It felt heavy though, and hurt my head. Sun sighed in relief.
"Okay, you've got it. Just eat some more, okay? I'll be back in just a bit. Don't go anywhere." He had told me that each time he left, but I didn't know why. Where would I go? When he left, I picked up the feathers in my jaws, and carried them over to a small hole in the cave wall, sliding them in. I was mesmerized by the perfect blue, but still felt responsible for them, the flier having given up the feathers for us.
"Thank you flier." I whispered, before bowing my head instinctively, and padding back to the flier's gift. I ate some more, but I stopped, as it only made my head feel worse. Sun returned to my den, smiling.
"Splitkit, I think you've been here long enough, and you've calmed down a bit, and healed. Would you like to move into the kit's den?" Sun offered, grinning.
I nodded, unsure. Sun took me to a den, where several more small 'kits' we're running around. I saw the she-cat who had taken care of me. It wasn't the original she-cat who had saved me, I hadn't seen her. I had learned the she-cat who had taken care of me was called Flutter. "Hello!" I greeted Flutter. She smiled at me in return. Three kits noticed us, and ran to us excitedly.
"Hi! Aren't you the new kit, Splitkit?" "Do you want to play with us?" "Are you okay?" "How old are you?" "Has Sun been a big ol' meanie to you too?" I was hammered with questions, and my head pounded even more than it had before. At the last question, arguing broke out between the three.
A fourth kit padded towards us, slower, and a kind smile on her face. "Hello. My name's Autumnkit. What's yours?"
I smiled at the she-kit, grateful for the slower pace. "I'm Splitkit."
"Hello Autumnkit. Will you try to keep Splitkit here safe from those maniacs?" Sun laughed, pointing towards the previous three kits with his tail.
Autumnkit nodded, and walked away from Sun, and I followed her blindly. Once they were in a quiet corner, Autumnkit spoke again. "I like your eyes, Splitkit." I frowned, fighting against the urge to close them and keep them shut forever. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She immediately apologized, noticing I was upset. "What's wrong?"
"Can we please not talk about my eyes or my face?" I pleaded with the kind she-kit.
"Sure, I'm sorry." I could tell Autumnkit was truly sorry, and didn't mean to upset me. I steeled myself, smiling a faint smile.
"It's okay." I meowed, but I didn't know what else to say. We sat there in silence for a couple of moments, neither of us knowing what to talk about.
"How old are you, Splitkit?" She asked finally, changing the subject. I smiled at her.
"Two whole moons!" I grinned.
"Me too! Oh wow, we'll be apprentices at the same time! Can you believe it?" She looked really excited.
"What's an apprentice?" I asked, genuinely confused. She explained happily, and we talked, her explaining things, mostly, and I asking questions. But we had bonded, and were sad when Sun called for me to come.
"Was it okay? Did the others bother you?" Sun asked, concerned.
I shook my head. "It was great! Autumnkit told me all about apprenticeship!"
Sun smiled. "That's great, Splitkit."
"Why can't I stay with her though? And Flutter?" I asked.
"Her brothers and sisters can be kind of mean, and you don't want to play with them do you?" He laughed, and so did I. I wasn't sure how to answer though.
I padded into my den to see a new addition, a circle made of some green stuff in the middle of my den. "What's that?" I asked.
"It's moss. It's something really soft that you can sleep on at night. Here, I'll get you some prey, and you can get comfortable, okay?"
I nodded, though the thought of the limp flier made me feel sick. He left, and I had an idea. I would put the feathers on the moss and I could put them to use so they wouldn't just be lying there. I thought the flier would like that, and did so. The bright blue stood out against the dark green, and I liked it. It was like me.
Sun seemed surprised when he came back. "Wow, I hadn't thought of that." He meowed, before dropping the flier beside me. I didn't touch it, though.
"It's like me, you see?" I meowed, happily looking at my creation.
"Yeah it is. It's special, just like you." He smiled at me, and I felt happy inside.
"Here, I'll leave you to get some sleep and eat, okay? Stay here." Sun meowed. I nodded, and he left once again.
I took some of the feathers again from the flier, and stuck them on the moss, before taking a bite. I still felt sick, and pushed it away almost immediately. I curled up on my bed, and feeling at peace, I fell back into the darkness that was rest.
I had a strange dream. I was in a small meadow, and the flier floated in front of me. "Flier! It's you!" I smiled at the flier's presence.
"You may call me Swiftstrike. I thank you for trying to be kind. Most cats just take my kind for granted, and do not pay their respects to their prey." She tweeted, and I bowed my head.
"It doesn't seem right not to. You gave a gift, and we thank other cats for the gifts they give us, why not you?"
"I do not know either, young Splitkit, but I thank you. You may always call on me in dreams if you need advice. It may have been a small deed that you did, but it meant a lot to me, a lot to all of us." Swiftstrike's eyes held kindness in their eyes.
"But how?" I asked, as everything around me faded to black. The last thing remaining was one, bright blue feather, a feather amongst the darkness.
Differences set us aside from others,
Similarities only bring us closer,
But we cannot judge by the outside,
Only by the inside.
-The Darkness Within