Disclaimer: If I owned glee I wouldn't be writing this here.
Title: Out of control
Rating: T (For now)
Spoilers: Season 2. It happens after the whole Furt episode, but there's no much reference to it.
Summary: What's wrong with me? Santana feels lonely and frustrated.. She doesn't know what to do.. Set after "Furt".. Brittana and some PezBerry friendship. I suck at this, just go inside and read.
Thanks to everyone for the reviews! They mean so much to me!
Special Thanks: To the amazing Liontiger that took a little of her time to act as a beta reader for the story! She did a wonderful job! Thank you liontiger!
This Chapter centers a little in the development of Santana and Rachel's 'friendship', something needed to continue with the story properly. I hope you like it.
Now, Enjoy! Thanks for reading!
Chapter 2: Collateral Damage
"Words can't describe you… You're everything... And I will love you 'til the day I die" Said Mr. Hummel. Why does this hurt so much? Just suck it up. Stay strong, Santana –Don't show them your weakness. Don't show her you're hurt- I could feel her eyes in the back of my neck. –Keep yourself together, Santana. Don't look at her-
"Rachel, wait…" Yes, I lost control over myself. It's official. "Just… Don't hang up man hands." Why do I sound so… defeated? "I… I don't know… I… I'm lost okay?" It doesn't make sense, but it's the truth.
"I've seen you've been acting different lately. Maybe I don't know what's happening to you, but I see you're hurting. I've been there. Let me help you find your way again." I feel the honesty in her voice. She's being sincere. How can she be this nice after all these years of bullying her? –I don't deserve it-
"I don't think you've been there, Berry." -Not in this particular mess- "But… thank you for... caring… But I'm not going to bother you with something stupid. I'm just moody, I think. It's nothing." When did I start to suck at lying? "Just, let it go." –Please-
"You asked me to stay Santana, I'm not leaving." So freaking stubborn. "And you can't say it's nothing. You just said that I couldn't have been there, so there must be something. Something is not nothing. I'm a phenomenal listener, you know? It's one of my many abilities." She's so in love with herself… Oh Berry…
"I'm not talking about it, Man hands…" I was serious.
"Ha! So there's an it!"
"You are not giving up, right Berry?" I say with a smile. I realize I hadn't really smiled for a long time.
"The most essential factor is persistence - the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come," she recited. She was a freaky, freaky girl. "A quote that has become a mantra of my own. So no, Santana. I'm not giving up." How did I get into this again? "I'm not going to force you to talk about it, but I surely can distract you. We'll talk about something else. I'll keep you company over the phone until I make sure you feel better. We have to start at some point." She's so cheerful. I sigh. This was going to be a long night.
We talked non-stop for hours about everything and nothing. Who would have thought Berry could be this cool? I actually enjoyed talking with her. It distracted me from my thoughts. We kind of bonded, under weird circumstances, but we did. Not that I'll ever admit it, of course.
Berry is nice, in a real kind of way… And I thank her for not making me talk about everything else. I thank her for just being there. Actually, those were my exact words just before I felt asleep. Sorry for not saying goodbye, Man hands, but I was dead. I don't think she noticed though; she was as sleepy as I was.
My world is upside down, but at least, for a moment, it doesn't suck so bad.
This annoying noise is disturbing my sleep. Stop it! I hate when something interrupts my sleep. Go away! The noise must obey my commands. I'm Santana Lopez…. Fuck, it's still there. Stop it now, or else! That noise clearly doesn't know who am I.
"Mmmhghmm.. go away..mghmm" I babble, half asleep, as I cover my head with the sheets.
"Santana, it's four in the afternoon." -What. The. Fuck?. Tell me this is not who I think it is- "Your parents let me in. They got home a while ago." -No. Fucking. Way.-
"Man hands?" I turn around and cover myself with the sheets. Which is kind of stupid, but I had the urge to do it; I felt violated. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I shout angrily.
"Stop it with the name-calling. My hands are not manly. And I'm here because earlier this morning we agreed on getting together and talk." -Don't ever trust what a sleepy person says Berry. They don't make sense half the time-
"How did you know where I lived?"
"We've been living on the same street for several years now. My house is two houses away from Noah's house." I start to say something, but I'm just babbling incoherently. I sigh. How the fuck did I get here?
"Just find something to do while I get ready," I say harshly. Not just because of the fact that Berry is in my bed a Sunday morning, but mainly because I get moody if my sleep is disturbed. And by moody I mean cranky, and by cranky I mean bitchy. And by bitchy well… for some reason, people call me Satan.
"Perfect! I'll keep talking with your parents. They're so pleasant. I'll be downstairs when you need me." She smiles and gets out of the room. And now Rachel Berry invites herself over and chats with my parents. When did this happen?
Two hours later. We are in my car. My driving is kind of rough. Well, actually, really rough. She's scared. She was practically holding herself onto any possible part of the car she could get her hands on.
"Santana you should calm down. Please slow down."
"I can't believe it!"
"It's not that big of a deal. I think you're overreacting."
"How can you say that? Are you insane Berry?" I say without taking my eyes of the road. "How come you've never been to Breadstix?"
"Well, I wanted to try it, but it was more important for me that Sam felt included in glee club." What?
"What?" What the hell is she talking about. I assure you. Berry is crazy.
"Never mind. The thing is, I don't see what the big deal is with Breadstix." If eyes could kill, Berry would be dust by now.
"Shut up, Man hands. You know nothing," I say. We were there. God I'm fast. "Move it. You're about to have the greatest experience of your life."
"You know that if we get in there, people are going to see you with me?" She asks, frankly worried. Yes, I know my social status is very important to me, but come on. She doesn't have to be like this. Does she think I am that shallow? –I surely act as if I am-
"No one messes with me Berry, so shut the fuck up and come." And again, I talk like a cold hearted bitch. She seems nervous about it. "I promise you'll like it," I say, trying to make a convincing smile. I fail. But she gets the idea.
Oh God. I love Breadstix, it makes me forget about everything. Little damn bread sticks, I'm sure they put some kind of drug in you. Plus, spending the afternoon with Man hands was not half bad. I like it.
"You were so right, Santana. It's amazing. Their salads accommodate my vegan lifestyle perfectly, and they're so delicious. I can't believe I'd never been here. Thank you!" she says dreamily.
"That's right, girl. I know best," I say cockily. "And you still haven't tried their…" The words get lost in my throat. I freeze as I see Brittany entering with Artie. She was smiling at him as they waited for a table. But what caused me to freeze was the fact that that smile was different. It wasn't the smile Brittany gave the guys she fooled around with for fun or just because she was bored. It was the smile Brittany gave when she actually cared, when she was actually enjoying the moment, when she was genuinely happy. –You're losing the battle Lopez, and you have no one to blame but yourself-
"Santana, are you all right? What's wrong?"
"I need to get out of here," I say, looking away from them. Rachel looks confused, and glances at the spot I was staring at. She opens her mouth and then closes it, coming to a realization. Without asking anything, we both leave the money on the table, and she follows me to the car. I don't look back to see if Brittany saw me, but I don't really want to know.
Thank you for reading!
Brittany will finally appear in next chapter xD!