Chapter 2: Decapitation Love

One of the millions of things that I hated was sitting there in that big chapel surrounded by tons of morons. While their Earth Savior talked about the end of the world and all kinds of bull shit that I never really paid attention to, the man talking was very famous. He was on the religious channels often as in a dumb ass televangelist he fit the idea of what one looked like and acted like. He had the fake tanned skin that was an orange tinge, the dusty blonde hair that I swear was a wig, the bright green eyes that looked like he had stolen them from a doll, and he had shiny white teeth that of course were bleached or dentures, then the lime green suit with a light blue tie. He looked like a walking Ken doll or he had God's hand up his ass making him talk. Everybody in that building sitting up straight listening intently to his every word like he would show them the way and that he could really do miracles, they were all so fake.

My parents rarely went to service they would drop me off a block away from the church then go who knew where to do who knew what, probably to the bar where my father would make out with some drunk chick who was a fucking stick, while my mom sat there pretending that it was all okay...I needed to get the fuck out of there. To my left sat two girls that had to be about five years of age, they wore bright pink dresses, with pink bows in their hair. They looked fake just like every other fucking person in that building did, they were all fucking clones of one another and I was just like them on the outside...But I knew that I gave off the aura that I hated them and everything there, that I was evil and would never be like them no matter how hard they tried to brain wash me. I looked at the two little girls mother who looked a hell of a lot like June Cleaver from Leave it To Beaver, I had always wondered why most the women that were highly religious looked and acted that way. To my right sat pretty much the same thing except it was two young boys and their father. I moved my attention back up to the man preaching, of course nothing had changed and it was all still boring bull shit.

"The Lord is everywhere ladies and gentleman he is even here right here in this building watching over his children."

His sheep, his retarded little brain washed children that can't do anything on their own. That was what he meant, what he meant was for us all to live in fear never to live life to its fullest.

"There are the lost ones ladies and gentleman, the ones that the devil is holding onto trying to pull them down into the world of sin." He preached hissing the word sin like the snake that he was.

Everybody around me was nodding their heads in agreement whispering to one another agreeing about the things that they were being fed, me on the other hand sat there with hate in my eyes as I looked around me. I hated them all I could picture them laying on the ground headless and drenched in blood just like the photo that predicted what the end of humanity would look like. Maybe it would happen and all that would be left was me and the rest of the sinners in the world, at least we weren't retarded and made of plastic. The bad part of that would have been the religious people would be right proving people like me wrong, the thought of going home and shaving my head just to see if I had 6-6-6 on my scalp was starting to surface again.

"The sinners shall be turned away by the Lord by the Father by the Son...They shall be damned to hell where they will be tortured for all of eternity. The homosexuals...The thieves...The prostitutes...The protestors shall all burn unless they change their ways."

I wanted to cuss at him telling him that he was full of shit but I just sat there like the little lamb that I was, but I wasn't one...I was the outsider...I was the homosexual...I was the protestor I could have never been like they were. I sat there for a few more minutes before just getting up and leaving, a few people looked at me oddly then whispered some things to the one sitting by them. I could have given a fuck less about what any of them thought about me, I was just deciding if I wanted to go home or find something else to do.

I walked down the street on my way home every single person that I passed was so normal and so perfect...They were pathetic, there was no such thing as perfection what they thought was perfect was what I called strange. I didn't believe in perfect I wasn't perfect and never would be, I had to hide who I was and pretend to be another normal God fearing teenager in a small red neck town. I had to go to a public school because the next person that asked why I didn't believe in God I was going to slit their throat. I decided to go home just in case that maybe I would have the place to myself for one fucking time, I highly doubted it though.

Before I even opened the door I could hear my step fathers yelling and my mothers crying, then a crashing sound most likely a vase hitting a wall. I took a deep breath then opened the door wide open of course I saw my father there face red as blood screaming at my mother that she was a lying, cheating, and bitch. Her crying with her face in her hands while whispering that she would never do anything to ruin our family. Please our family was already ruined, we were worse than the people that you saw on the Jerry Springer show. I was thankful that neither of them noticed me for once, so I easily walked past dodging a metal picture frame that was thrown either at me on purpose or in the wrong direction. I went back to my room slammed and locked the door, turned my stereo on turning the volume up so loud that I couldn't hear them fighting or even hear half of my own thoughts. I just lay back on my bed with my eyes closed for a few minutes before getting up and walking over to the cracked full length mirror leaning against my wall, I looked like shit. I had on a white dress shirt and tan slacks my hair was combed back, I looked like a fucking puppet that should have a hand shoved up its ass. I didn't look like a person but still in my eyes there was that emptiness of a person trapped inside of the body that they didn't want. I quickly stripped down to my boxers and then went through my closet looking at the clothes that I wished I could wear more.

I needed to go to a normal school I needed to figure out some way that I could get into one...I needed to get kicked out or burn the fucking place down with all of those mother fuckers in it. Hell I would have been happy to offend my parents so much that they would put me up for adoption...I liked that idea actually...That was it I needed to just run away from there, I needed the money and a car though. I needed to figure it out, but until that time I was going to start looking the way that I wanted to and doing what I wanted to fucking do, I grabbed a bottle of black finger nail polish and set to work on the first part of making myself the black sheep. I'd just do it simply first with painting my nails black then move up to eye liner and cutting my hair different, then jewelry, clothing, piercings, tattoos...Things of that kind, maybe by that time I would be in a real school or I'd be hitch hiking my way to Texas.

The next day when I went into the dining room it was the usual day after a fight, just quiet. My mom was a little shaky and very nervous while my step father had a look of pride about him; I wanted to hit him right in the mouth. I wanted to kill him brutally for the ass hole that he was, I knew that a sick goal in my life had to do with murdering people. I'd have dreams about it, not nightmares but more like fantasizing...Weird most teen age boys had wet dreams about play boy models me I had dreams about slaughtering people. I was psychotic and I proudly would admit it, maybe I could have scared those fucking sheep off with saying things like that, threats more of -

"What is that?" My father asked looking at my nails.

"What?"

"That black shit on your fucking hands." He said raising his voice more.

"Nail polish."

"Why do you wear shit like that?"

"Because I fucking want to."

"People are going to think that you're a God damn fag."

"I don't give a flying fuck, hell I am gay you dumb ass." I said glaring at him.

He didn't speak just looked up at me with slight shock; I smiled evilly at the look that he gave. I then got up and walked out of the house proud that I had said that and took that ass whole from his thrown of importance, he needed to stop thinking that he controlled everything. I remembered the day that I had stopped thinking my family was perfect, they always fought and shit around me, I always would get whacked with a belt when I misbehaved. That was just normal for most families in our town; of course I found out that we weren't perfect when I caught him on the couch making out with some girl that had to be at least seventeen years of age. My mom walked in and had caught them she started crying the girl slunk out with a look of shame, my dad just started yelling at my mom saying that if she would just suck his dick every once in awhile then he wouldn't need little whores like that girl, of course I saw the whole thing. That wrecked most my beliefs in my family being perfect, I thought that all families were like ours was but found out that they weren't. Hell my step father had broken every fucking commandment there was finding out one of the girls that he had fucked was our next door neighbors daughter, which we found they weren't so perfect either. Everybody put on a mask to seem normal or like the perfect human beings, when behind closed doors they were really dysfunctional and were in major need of therapy.

I sat in class another day bored out of my mind, I hadn't so far gotten in trouble for wearing nail polish. I still wanted to run away though, yeah I could have ran away and became a male stripper...Shit that sounded gross even I hated that idea, I needed to find where I really belonged and it wasn't in that small piece of shit town or in that crappy ass Christian school it was in the outside world that we were being brain washed into fearing. I'd collect some money get a car then get as far away from there as I possibly could, what I would do to get more money I really had no idea. I was rebelling against my life that was me, I hated the skin that I was forced to wear. I wanted to change badly; I would change into what I knew that I really was.

Around lunch time I sat as usual all by myself trying to sleep for once, my parents fighting constantly didn't help me get any sleep. Sometimes actually a lot recently the fights would be over me and how I'm so fucked up, I really didn't care what they or anybody else thought of me. I was going to keep acting the way that I acted and I was only going to get worse, I could always have given a fuck less.

Sadly just like most other days I barely got one minute of sleep or even a second to form some sort of twisted dream before I felt somebody shaking my shoulder. I looked up to see instead of a girl a boy instead, once again the boy was lanky had short brown hair that was neatly combed, he had dark green eyes filled with false hope and slight fear in my presence, along with the shitty school uniform.

"Hello I'm Takaya." He said smiling then sitting down in front of me.

He was a future sales man going door to door to sell some shitty vacuum cleaner to people door to door only to have doors slammed in his face so many times before giving up.

"Okay...Why the fuck did you wake me up?" I asked glaring at him.

He just looked at me for a few seconds like he really had no idea why he was even talking to me.

"Well you're sitting here alone." He said shrugging.

"Do you think that's because I want to be alone?"

"No not really..."

I wish that I had some gasoline and a fucking lighter with me I wanted to burn that place down with all those stupid people in it, hell I wanted to burn that whole town to the ground.

"Look I'm going to put it real simply; fuck...Off." I said flipping him off.

He just looked at me in slight shock that I dare cuss and then flip him off.

"Why do you have nail polish on?" He asked grabbing me by the wrist.

"Don't fucking touch me." I said pulling my hand away from him.

"That is an evil color you know."

"My soul is black as Hell so I guess that I am nothing but evil."

"You shouldn't say things like that."

"Fuck you."

"What is your name?"

"Sasuke." I said just wishing that the boy would fucking leave me alone, hell I couldn't even remember what he said his name was...Maybe tauk or taky...

"Why do you want to wear makeup? That is for girls only." He asked tilting his head to the side like a curious little puppy dog.

"Because I like to wear it and I don't give a flying fuck if it is for girls."

"I'm sorry Sasu-kun." He said almost expecting me to pity him.

I knew that he had to be around my age but he just seemed like a small child that would pout and cry until they got their way.

"I don't care and don't call me Sasu-kun my name is Sasuke ." I said glaring at the kid.

He didn't speak just looked at me for a while sort of like he wanted to cry, finally he got up and left going back to his table most likely to tell them how fucked up I was. Everyday I got worse with how I treated people around me, I knew some day I wouldn't be afraid to commit murder. Hell I'd probably make a sport out of it, sick thought but it sounded pretty damn good.

Back in class the fucking teacher had to notice the nail polish that I was wearing, grab me tightly by the wrist and drag me down the hall to the office. She shoved me into a chair standing by me with her arms folded over her chest giving me this dirty look, I wanted to smack her.

"What seems to be the trouble here?" Mrs.Yuuhi asked looking from me to the teacher.

"Look at his nails." She said once more grabbing my wrist jerking hard on my arm so that the old crone could look at my black painted nails.

That had to have been the most pathetic conversation ever and had to know it would only get worse.

"Sasuke Uchiha you know that boys aren't to wear makeup." She said scolding me.

"It's fucking nail polish." I said my voice was harsh.

"Do not use words like that in a place of God." She said picking up a wooden ruler and smacking me hard on the hand with it.

I withdrew my hand looking at the red welt that was showing rather quickly along with the stinging pain, I wanted to take that ruler from her and smack the shit out of her with it.

"I don't believe in God so I can say whatever the Hell I want to." I said more like a dare.

I knew that I was going to get whacked with that fucking paddle they kept stored away in the closet, I had a feeling that on the weekends Mrs.Yuuhi was a dominatrix and had many bondage toys that she tortured men with for a living. The thought of that eighty year old hag wearing tight leather clothes made me want to throw up a little bit.

"Stand up." She ordered standing up and like I had predicted walking over to the closet.

I was pulled up by my shoulders told to grab my ankles which I did what I was told, after the about maybe sixteenth time of being paddled it wasn't as bad. It still hurt like fucking hell but I was used to it really, I still had to bite my bottom lip. Of course soon enough came that whooshing sound followed by the sharp sting of that damn paddle on my back side three hits and finally it was over and I wasn't going to sit for a few days.

"Have you learned your lesson?" She asked me, arms folded with that paddle in her brittle old grip.

I hadn't learned one God damn thing.

"Yes mam" I said pretending to sound honest in my answer.

"Good now go home and remove that filth from your hands."

I quickly left glad as hell to finally be out of there. I hated that place I wanted to burn it to the fucking ground I hated where I lived it was hell no matter what the rest of the population said. I walked home taking my sweet time, I knew that my father was going to be pissed about being sent home along with he was also probably drunk and still mad about me telling him I was gay. I didn't give a flying fuck what my parents thought of me even thought supposedly they were the only ones in your life that's opinions about you mattered. I never bought any of that bull shit, I only cared about what I had to say about myself.

I stood there looking at the front door straining to hear what was going on inside, I couldn't hear one damn thing. Maybe it was safe to go in, he might have broken moms arm again and had to take her to the hospital both of them saying she fell down the stairs even though the home we lived in was only one floor. The minute that I had shut the door behind me I was shoved to the floor, I rolled onto my back and looked up to see my step father his eyes were blood shot and I knew that he was drunk.

"Little faggot" he slurred before placing his foot on my stomach keeping me down on the ground.

I tried to get up but the man had to be like two hundred fucking pounds and I was puny as fuck, all that my trying to get up did was make him press his foot down harder causing me to cough and choke.

"Get off of me fat fuck." I growled trying to get away from him.

Good news was that he finally removed his foot, bad news was he quickly had his grimy hand wrapped around my throat and had me shoved back against the wall tightening his grip on my throat until I could barely breathe and was gasping for air.

"Don't you dare talk to me that way boy." He scolded pulling me from the wall then slamming my head into it.

The pain in my head was numbing get whacked in the ass at school then go home only to be beaten and strangled to death. I wondered if he killed me how it would be explained to the cops, there was no way he even had the balls to murder me. I could have killed him and it would have been self defense.

He dropped me to the ground I sat on my hands and knees coughing, my eyes were watering and my throat burned; slowly I got my breathing back. Of course the minute that I sat back on my knees I was kicked hard in the stomach hitting my head hard on the floor.

"Who the fuck said you could move?" He spat.

"Get the fuck away from me." I said slowly crawling to my feet the pain coursing through out my entire body was nearly unbearable.

At that age I was still learning how to handle pain, I was getting better at it.

I stood to my feet a little dizzy with the feeling of wanting to throw up but I managed to stay standing. I stood right in front of my father almost gagging on the smell of alcohol coming form him, the man was a very violent drunk. If he was my actual father it would have made me scared shitless of drinking alcohol I didn't have the urge for it and never really planned on drinking it.

"I will do whatever the fuck I want to you...you worthless little bastard." He slurred smacking me hard across the face.

"I'm going to my room." I said acting as if he hadn't hit me one fucking time.

I walked past him of course half way to my room I heard his heavy foot steps right behind me, luckily the door was closed and locked before he could get in to me. Soon enough I heard my mother yelling and begging him not to hurt her baby, heard him slam her against a wall. More crying following, then more yelling, more screaming, more crying, and repeat. It was always the same fucking thing from them I was fucking sick of it, I was sick of that God damn town and my God damn family. I turned my stereo on blasting it, then undressed to look over my scars. It was pretty bad worse than just the belt or a random bitch slap here or there, it was dark purple bruises on my neck five of them to match each of his fingers, then a huge bruise right in the center of my stomach along with the red mark on my cheek from being slapped like a whore who didn't make enough money to please her pimp.

I was pissed before I had in some way been living in some sort of a bubble where I couldn't be hurt that badly, it had been popped and reality of life was setting in quickly. Thoughts of rage and killing my parents flew through my mind I loved the idea so fucking much, I wanted to slit his throat and just watch him as he died begging for me to save his life. I would probably just cut his damn head off that was what I really wanted to do.

I looked at myself in the mirror my eyes black as night other than that I looked like a beaten little puppy dog, that wasn't me at all that was who I was made to be, I didn't plan on living that way any longer. I was either going to go to a regular school and get abused or go homicidal and flee the scene of the crime. Maybe I could just hold on a couple of more years before I would leave, that way I could get a job, a car, get drunk off my fucking ass sounded good too. I had it all planned out all I needed to do was survive two more God damned years of my fathers shit.