Garrett stared at the stack of paperwork in front of him. He glared at it wishing for a moment he had Marian's powers to burn things with a look. He knew she couldn't really do that, but he had always thought she could when they were growing up. He used to imagine that when they grew up Marian and him would go on adventures. Fight through darkspawn and evil Orlesians. When he finally outgrew his daydreams he saw the reality. Adventures were the fairytales of children. Real adventures are not fun. He had done many things in his life to protect his sisters. To protect Marian and Bethany. Only now Bethany was...Garrett sighed and put his head in his hands. Marian, he thought. It always came back to her. His sister. His twin. He hadn't been able to protect Bethany; he had failed her. But he would protect Marian. To his dying breath he would ensure that she never wound up in the Gallows or some other Circle. She wouldn't last. Not that he doubted she was strong, but because a place like that would strip her of the will to live. His twin thrived off of excitement and people. A Circle could never keep her engaged enough.
It had been nine months since they came back from the Deep Roads. He had settled them into the Hightown estate and now he had his own study with a stack of papers he should look over. Of course, he had hoped the Deep Roads would be profitable, but he hadn't anticipated what becoming nobility again would do. Everyone seemed to suddenly want to get on the Hawke's good side. He almost smiled, wondering if the rumors that he ate human hearts for breakfast was in some small way responsible for the fear he seemed to install in every noble he had met. Even the Viscount respected him enough to keep out of Hawke's affairs.
But despite how much fear and respect he commanded, his sister's secret could get out. He had bribed and bought half the templars in Hightown to keep them from talking, and it still wasn't enough. There was a rumor that one of the Hawkes was a mage. If only he could turn the rumor into the idea that Carver was a mage. At least he was safe with the Grey Wardens. But that wouldn't be as easy. People wouldn't enjoy gossiping about a Hawke who wasn't in Kirkwall. No. Someone out there wanted to see his sister end up in the Gallows, Garrett was sure of it.
It also didn't help that his sister ran around Lowtown and Darktown killing brigands and cutpurses with magic or helping that Grey Warden mage Anders in his clinic. He tried to tell her to stay low, but she only laughed at him and told him he worried too much. No, he thought, you don't worry enough so I have to worry enough for the both of us.
He sighed and stared at the report on his desk. It was from one of his contacts in Lowtown. It stated that the templars were looking for a rumored apostate there. He groaned. Perhaps he should just take his mother's advice and marry her off to some rich noble. He almost smiled with how angry Marian would be at the prospect. But if she didn't calm down soon with her magic use, it would be that or a quick escape from Kirkwall.
A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts and he called for them to come in. Bodahn opened the door, "The Knight-Captain is here to see you, messere." The dwarf said politely bobbing his head as he did.
"Bring him in."
Bodahn disappeared for a moment and reappeared with the blonde Knight-Captain.
Cullen looked around the study. It felt oddly...Fereldan. There was a fire in the hearth and the desk was made out of a dark wood he knew grew in his homeland. He looked at Garrett Hawke. The large dark-haired man got up and bade Cullen to sit in the chair opposite. Cullen walked forward and took the offered seat. Hawke settled back into his chair and watched him with intent eyes as if sizing him up or looking for the best way to strike. He wished he knew why the man wished to speak to him, but the letter had simply requested his presence at the Hawke estate. Cullen wasn't sure why he had come, perhaps a small part of him had hoped Marian would be there, though he tried to squash that hope desperately.
Over the past nine months, since the apostate had returned from the Deep Roads, Cullen had tried to avoid her at any costs. He told himself it was because she was an apostate and that it was easier for him to keep her secret when he forgot she was roaming Kirkwall. But the truth was that Cullen never forgot about Marian. She still plagued his dreams, sometimes nightly. And if he saw even a glimpse of her during the day or heard the name Hawke he would dream of her and wake with a longing ache that did not subside throughout the day. He fervently told himself that nothing could ever happen between them. That even if he was to see her today in the Hawke estate he would simply be the Knight-Captain to her and she an apostate to him. It was a never-ending argument in his head. That they could never be together, that he shouldn't even bother trying for fear that she would laugh at his attempt or worse. His worse nightmares were now the ones where he watched her be taken by his own men. Those made him wake in a cold sweat.
"I have a bit of a problem Knight-Captain." Garrett said, startling Cullen from his thoughts.
He cleared his throat, "And that would be what, Hawke?" In his mind Hawke was always the brother and Marian the mage. Or sometimes that Maker forsaken beautiful apostate, though he never said that one out loud. He had once asked himself when she had become different to him and the answer had come easily. When she had saved him twice and healed him both times without ever asking for something in return. When she had looked him in the eyes in the Gallows and practically challenged him to take her. He hadn't. He knew now that he never would be able to. Instead he watched her from afar, hearing reports of her activities. Whether it be clearing out bandits from Darktown or healing people in that Warden's clinic. She always seemed to be doing the good thing, the right thing. He found it odd that an apostate would go so out of their way to help others, especially in Kirkwall, where it was so dangerous to be a mage.
Garrett was watching him and seemed to mull something over before responding, "It's my sister." Cullen startled and then immediately schooled his features and Garrett continued, "I have heard rumors that the templars suspect she is an apostate."
"That is because she is an apostate, Hawke." Cullen stated. Though his voice remained calm, his heart was beating faster. How had he not heard of this? He had been monitoring his men since the Hawkes returned to make sure no patrols came by too close to their estate. Who else, besides himself, would know about Marian?
Garrett leaned back in his chair. "Hypothetically, let us say Marian is an apostate." Cullen barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. "What would you suggest I do?"
He stared at the man. From all the information he had acquired about Hawke, none of it suggested the dark-haired warrior was one to ask advice. Especially from a templar of all things. "Why ask me?"
Hawke waved his hand lazily, "Perhaps I think you don't want my sister in the Gallows any more than I do. Perhaps I think you are a man of your word? And you and I made a deal, did we not?"
Cullen kept his face blank. Could he know? He hadn't made it obvious had he? By the Maker the man was looking at him with such an intent look and if he didn't know any better he would think there was laughter behind those dark eyes. Maybe he did know. Cullen almost groaned at the thought that Garrett knew about his feelings for his sister. As if he didn't have enough problems. That was something he did not want getting out.
Cullen sighed and leaned back in the chair, resting his elbows on the arms. The only thing he could do now was try and help Garrett. He wasn't wrong, Cullen didn't want to see Marian end up in the Gallows and he had made a deal with Hawke those many months ago. "Fine." He chewed his words for a moment before speaking, "Were I to find out where these accusations are coming from...it is possible I could let you know."
Garrett shook his head. "These accusations are only the beginning. There will be more. My sister makes sure of that. I need to know what I can do to make sure that they never happen again." He frowned and then continued, "To make her...immune to the templars, so to speak."
Cullen shook his head and looked down at the desk. "I doubt there is anything that will make her immune to the templars. We are the largest army in Kirkwall and whether or not she was a mage...she could still be under templar jurisdiction."
"Are you saying the templars would overstep their boundaries in Kirkwall?" Hawke asked, his eyes burning into Cullen's.
"I am saying that should the templars decide to act against your sister, it would not matter what she was." He said calmly.
Garrett sat in silence for a few minutes and Cullen wondered if there was anything that could be done. He suspected they could leave Kirkwall, but that idea hurt him more than he would ever say. But if it kept her safe... He was about to suggest it when Hawke spoke up again.
"My mother seems to think marrying her off to a nobleman would work. Would keep the templars out of her business." Hawke said looking up at Cullen. His dark eyes were weighing, as if wondering whether to bring this idea up at all.
Cullen frowned and felt his stomach clench. The idea of Marian being married off was even worse than her leaving. "There is no noble powerful enough to evade the templars in Kirkwall. The Viscount perhaps, or his son, but I do not think you would have luck even there. Short of marrying her to a templar-"
"What if she did marry a templar?" Hawke asked bluntly, his eyes boring into Cullen's.
Cullen looked away and down at the desk to get away from the piercing gaze. "Hawke..." He started shaking his head slightly. By the Maker the idea of Marian being married to one of his men... "Marrying your sister to a templar is a danger in itself. She would not be able to hide what she is from them for long. And when they found out she would be taken to the Gallows. Worse, she would be..." He looked up to see Hawke giving him an intense stare, as if looking into his very soul. Cullen looked down again.
"Thank you, Knight-Captain. I think I know what I must do." Garrett said getting up and Cullen followed him, knowing he was being dismissed. At the door Cullen turned to see Hawke looking at him, the man raised his eyebrow and Cullen wanted to ask what he had decided, but thought better of it and turned to leave the room.
It was a week later when he received another note from Hawke asking him to come to the estate. Cullen hesitated a moment outside the door before pushing it open. As he stepped into the foyer he saw the dwarf come to greet him. "Ah, Knight-Captain. Messere Hawke has been expecting you." Cullen nodded and followed him out of the foyer. As he entered the next room that led to the stairs where he assumed bedrooms were he heard a door close and feet moving on the stairs. He looked up to see Marian walking down the stairs. His breath caught in his throat. She was wearing a simple tunic with the house symbol of the Amell's engraved on the breast and by-the-Maker-where-were-her-pants? He watched the miles of legs that came down the stairs and his eyes followed them to her breathtaking eyes. She was smiling, a slight twinkle in them when she saw him.
"Knight-Captain. What brings you here?" She asked coming to stop a few feet from him.
"M-Marian." He inwardly cursed himself for stumbling over his words like a pre-teen boy. She smiled brightly up at him and he couldn't stop his eyes from taking in all of her one last time. He felt himself blush slightly.
"Here to see your brother, miss." Bodahn supplied for him and he would forever be grateful to the blasted dwarf for it. His head was spinning as he drowned in her beautiful endless blue eyes. The edges crinkled as she smiled at him and he very much suspected she was making fun of him in her head.
All he could do was nod and try to take deep breaths without her knowing. He hadn't been this close to her since that night in Lowtown and at least then the night had been able to shield his embarrassing blushes and the heat of his eyes. Now he suspected she saw all of it.
"Well then. I'll let you get to it." She said quietly, breaking her eye contact with him. Her smile lingered. She turned to the dwarf, "I'm going to buy a few things from the market, if my brother asks where I am, which he probably will once he's done flaying the good Knight-Captain." She smiled up and him and walked past.
He felt as if his body had a mind of its own as he watched her go. The gentle sway of her hips, her legs. He inwardly groaned and knew he should be focusing on composing himself for his conversation with her brother. "Flaying?" He asked the dwarf.
"Ah, the misses is only joking, I'm sure." The dwarf smiled at him and lead him to the study.
When they entered Hawke looked up at him and smiled, "Come in, Knight-Captain. Have a seat." Cullen took the seat opposite Hawke again and looked across the room.
He realized he had never actually seen Garrett Hawke smile. It put him off slightly and worried him more than it should have.
"I've been thinking about what we talked about last time you were here." Hawke rifled through some papers and drew one out. "So I made this." He handed the piece of parchment over to Cullen.
Cullen looked it over and his eyebrows drew together, "This is a list of my men, Hawke." He looked back up at the dark-haired man and saw the corners of his mouth twitch. What could put the man in such a good mood?
"It is. Very observant of you. They are all potential templars for my sister to marry."
Cullen felt his stomach drop out from him and he stared at Hawke. The man's eyebrow raised slightly and Cullen realized his shock must have been clear on his face. "I thought I said it wouldn't be a good idea, Hawke." Cullen tried to say calmly, but it came out more strangled than he would have liked.
"Well, you did. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea."
"And Marian?" Cullen couldn't believe she would just go ahead with this.
Sure enough, he saw Hawke's expression darken a bit, "She doesn't know yet."
Cullen shook his head and put the piece of parchment back on the desk lest he shred it before the man's eyes. "Hawke...I don't think-"
"I asked you here to pick one of the names you thought most appropriate for the task, Knight-Captain." The last part was said coldly and Cullen didn't need to look at the man to know the smile was gone and the coldness and anger back in place.
Cullen sighed softly and picked up the parchment again. He read over the list, "Thrask? Andraste's breath, the man is old enough to be her father!" He looked up to see Hawke cocking an eyebrow, but no other indication that it matter. Cullen felt a slow fire burning in him. He couldn't- the man couldn't honestly believe that Cullen would pick a name from this list so he could...give Marian to them. He felt sick to his stomach. He put the paper back down on the desk, more firmly this time.
"I can't do that, Hawke." He stood up.
"Well, if you won't. I suppose I will have to make the decision on my own." Garrett reached across the desk to grab the parchment, but Cullen slammed his hand on top of it. Something in him had snapped at the idea of Marian being given to one of his men like a proud horse for sale and he doubted the Maker himself could change the course he was about to go down.
His amber eyes were cold as he looked into Garrett's brown ones "None of these men could keep your sister safe." Cullen said darkly. He saw a flicker of anger cross Hawke's eyes before they returned his stare with equal coldness.
"If you aren't going to help, then I have to do what I can." Garrett said standing up to level his gaze at Cullen.
Cullen glanced down at the list and back at Hawke, "The highest ranking man you have on this list is Thrask, and he is only a lieutenant."
Hawke watched Cullen and his eyes flicked to the list. "You are saying I need a higher ranking templar?" His voice was quiet and Cullen knew the question he was really asking.
He sighed and lifted his hand from the parchment, his anger gone. Now a coldness swept through him like he had been dunked into Lake Calenhad in the middle of winter. Was he really considering this? He must be mad. He looked up to see Hawke watching him intently.
"Why was my name not on the list, Hawke?" He asked staring down at the list still on the desk.
"Do you want your name on the list, Knight-Captain?"
Cullen wondered when he had become mad. Maybe he had always been mad. He looked up into Hawke's brown eyes, so different than his sister's. He nodded curtly and saw the corners of Garrett's mouth twitch.
"A deal?" Hawke asked him, extending his hand.
Cullen stared at it a moment before taking it and feeling the rough callouses from years of sword practice there, the same callouses that were on his own hands. "Deal."
Marian looked at the blue ribbon. "Excellent choice, my lady. Imported from Orlais. My finest ribbon." The merchant said smiling toothily at her. She smiled back at him and ran her hand down the smooth ribbon. She wondered what she would use it for. She could wind it through her hair. She usually kept it up and out of her face anyway. She could pin it up with the ribbon, but it was slightly too fancy for everyday wearing in her hair. If she bought enough she could wrap the ribbon around her waist when they went to parties thrown by nobles. She smiled and told the merchant she would take it. She measured out enough to fit around her waist and paid him the three sovereigns for it. As she turned to walk toward home she bumped into a very solid, very heavy object. She looked up to see the Knight-Captain gazing down at her.
She couldn't keep from smiling up at him. The templar tried to be so serious all the time that she couldn't stop herself from trying to get him to smile. She was thrilled when the corner of his mouth twitched just a bit as he looked down at her.
Marian would be lying if she said the man hadn't crossed her mind a few times since their first meeting. He was a templar she had saved twice, not something most mages, and certainly not apostates, could say. She knew he was keeping her secret and she wasn't sure why that caused a warmth in her stomach whenever she thought of it. This man could do so much damage to her if he wanted, but instead he merely looked at her with his intense stare. When she had told Isabela about it the pirate had laughed at her and said she bet he was good between the sheets. Marian had blushed and told her she shouldn't think about templars between the sheets, it was likely blasphemous. The two women had laughed about that for the rest of the night.
Though now looking up at him, into his intense eyes that seemed so dark with something she didn't quite understand she wondered for a brief moment what he would be like between the sheets. She blushed and looked at the ground. "Knight-Captain."
"Marian." His voice was low and there was a warmth to the word that sent a small shiver down her spine.
"I see you are still in good health, despite talking to my brother." She said smiling back up at him. Her fingers played with the newly bought ribbon.
"Your brother is not the easiest to speak with." He glanced down at her fingers, "What is that for?"
She looked at the blue ribbon and smiled. "I thought it was pretty, and it matches my eyes. I am hoping to wear it around my waist, but I am not sure how to tie it properly there." She looked up into his intense eyes.
"I might be able to help." Cullen held out his hand and she blinked before grinning widely and giving it to him. He stepped behind her and wrapped the ribbon around her waist. Her breath caught as she felt his hands so close to her and knowing his body was right there behind her. She felt a rush of warmth spread through her body and her cheeks felt warm. "There." He whispered near her ear and she shivered from the warmth of his breath. She turned to find herself so very close to him. She looked up at his lips, wondering for a moment how soft they would feel before he stepped away. She saw a blush spread over his cheeks.
"Speak with your brother, Marian." He turned to go and glanced back at her, "I'm sorry." He whispered and walked away from her.