Title: Torn Decisions

Story Rating: T

Chapter Rating: K+

"Speech"

'Thoughts'

Chapter One

Life liked to keep people on their toes. This was the conclusion that one Dudley Dursley came to believe by the time he was eleven years old. In his short life his whole world had been upended no less than three times. The first had been before he was even out of nappies when he was about eighteen months old. His cousin had come to live with them when he'd become an orphan, and he'd had to learn how to get along and share his parents for the first time in his life. Because of being that young, those memories were hazy and he couldn't really recall them anymore. The second time despite blank spots and fuzzy memories was absolutely seared into his brain. It had been the day that his father had died and everything had changed. When he started seeing a therapist they'd told him that it was natural for his mind to blur certain things, blocking or suppressing memories in order to mend. That was why he couldn't exactly recall the crash but had impressions of when he was at hospital. What he hadn't understood was why his bloody mind decided to take those and leave the memories of his Aunt Marge and her nasty dogs. The only answer he ever got was that it wasn't nearly as traumatizing as the accident. The car crash had been a sudden and violent event whereas his time with Marge was over a longer period of progression so his mind had time to acclimate to them. Dudley just hoped that as he got older there might be a way to suppress his time with his aunt as well.

After his father had died he'd briefly been given into the custody of his Aunt Marge since she was his only relative. Petunia Dursley had sustained more damage than Dudley and had a longer hospital stay. Marge Dursley had come to the Dursley home to sit it and her nephew while her poor sister-in-law was laid up. In truth she was anything but comforting not having a maternal instinct or bone in her body nor was there a sympathetic one. She was not the person to help Dudley go through the stages of grief and loss. To him, it hadn't looked like she had grieved for his father either when he looked back on it. The primary school therapist was the one that had started him on his sessions and then added anger management when it was clear he was starting to have anger issues cropping up.

Marge's attitude from 'doting' aunt who spoiled her nephew changed when it became clear that the money had run out and that Dudley was like his 'freaky' cousin's family. While she'd been staying at their home she'd found and drunk all of Vernon's stash of liquor. When sloshed even when not she would go on about Harry and the first time that Dudley back talked her in defense of his deceased cousin, she had actually hit him shocking him quite badly. He panicked when she stepped towards him again with that ugly angry face and somehow he'd pushed her without actually touching her! It had been like that time when he'd floated down from the counter. After that, Marge was nasty around him too and started in on his mum saying things about breeding and the like that went over Dudley's head. She'd quickly scarpered off making it quite clear she wanted nothing more to do with him or Petunia Dursley when it came to light that there was no more money. Vernon Dursley had been ill prepared for an early death and had not considered what effect it would have on his family. The funeral arrangements and the hospital bills ate up what little money they had. The house had to be sold and the family of two ended up moving from a middle class suburb to estates. Petunia had packed them up from Surrey and moved them away from everything and everyone they knew. She had thought about moving them back to her parents' hometown of Hyde. The whole reason they'd moved from there to Cokeworth was because of the murder of her cousin Edward Evans. In the end Petunia moved them to some estates that she could afford in the Manchester area working two jobs. Dudley didn't end up seeing much of his mum as she was working and he was either at school or with his friends. He supposed he didn't notice the vast change in his mother because of this coupled with his age or it was as his therapist had stated a coping mechanism. Dudley adapted to his new environment and his completely changed mother. She was always tired and had little if any time or patience for him thought to give her credit she did try at first. He tried to help her as best as he could and as he got older he took over more of the chores around the home and errands that needed doing such as shopping.

Things seemed to settle down although occasionally odd things happened which Dudley tried to hide from his mother. Of course it had to be when he'd settled into a nice rhythm that his world was shaken off its foundations again. It happened during the summer he turned eleven. The day before his mother and he had figured out where he would go for secondary school since going to his father's alma mater was out as was some of the nicer more public schools. He'd been hesitate because he knew how much his mother scrimped and saved just to get him nice things every once in awhile like his bicycle. Petunia had wanted her son to go to a good school and was able to find one that wouldn't be too bad and was affordable. They had plans to go out later that day to pick up his uniform and perhaps buy him a new knapsack as his old one was a bit on the raggedy side. "Perhaps one of them bags with a real leather bottom to keep it from getting worn out, yeah?" His mother had smiled at him as she said that and Dudley felt hope as well as guilt that they'd be able to get one.

The knock came when Dudley was eating his cereal in the kitchen trying to be quiet so his mother could sleep awhile longer yet. Not expecting visitors, he'd gotten up and answered the door to a strange looking old man. The clothes he was wearing didn't seem to suit him and knowing he didn't live around here and wasn't the caretaker blurted out, "Who are you?" unsure if he should let the man in or not.

The man didn't seem to take offense just looked at Dudley with a benign smile and asked if his mother was home. Dudley told him he'd rather not wake her thank you and he could come back later? It seemed that he couldn't and said he would wait, so Dudley again hesitated before letting the old man in. He didn't seem that dangerous even if he did seem to be rudely glancing about the flat taking everything in. The man told him his name was Albus Dumbledore and was a headmaster at a secondary school in Scotland that was interested in him. Dudley had been skeptical but excited as well wondering how they had heard of him. Maybe it was a scholarship? He knew there were scholarships and such, it was one reason he'd planned on taking up sport so he'd have a chance at attending university maybe. A scholarship would make it a lot easier on his mum and he was honest enough with himself to know that he likely wouldn't be able to get a scholastic scholarship nor a musical one. When he broached the subject of fees, the old man had smiled and informed him that the school had a fund for students like Dudley who wouldn't be able to afford the tuition on their own. It sounded too good to be true so he had to ask because he was very curious and really wanted to know, "Why me? Bet there are lots smarter kids on the estate. Why pick me, eh?"

While knowing there were people smarter and more deserving of such a chance, Dudley knew that his friend Toby would have called him an idiot if he were there. If it'd been Toby or any of his other mates they wouldn't ask twice or hesitate at all to grab at the chance with both hands. What made Dudley so special though to be warrant the headmaster himself to come out here just to invite him to his school? His grades while good were nothing spectacular to draw attention. The only thing he knew of that made him different was what had made his cousin different and if that was the case, then maybe they shouldn't want him. And the look that crossed the man's face was one that he didn't understand. Dumbledore was obviously curious about him too. The man withdrew an envelope from the inside pocket of his suit jacket and had just handed it over to Dudley when his mother entered the kitchen and froze seeing Albus Dumbledore at her kitchen table with her son who had an envelope in his hand! Dudley watched in mute fascinated horror as his mother seemed to transform before his very eyes even as Dumbledore started saying, "Ah, Petunia-"

"NO!" She angrily shrieked raising a finger to point at the man. Dudley flinched at the sound never having seen his mother like this before. She was no longer a worn out tired estate mum, but a vengeful harpy come to rip you to shreds. "No! I'll not have it! I won't!" Petunia's eyes blazed with hatred and rage. "Get out!" she hissed.

"Mum," he tried at the same time as Dumbledore tried again with, "Petunia-"

"I said, 'GET OUT!' I'll not have it, I forbid it! I won't let you ruin his life too!"

'What?' Dudley wondered as his mother hadn't moved and neither had Dumbledore who was gazing at his mum with something akin to pity. Did they know each other? Glancing back and forth between them unsure what to do but afraid to move or say anything, he was taken aback when the man's soft voice stated with certainty, "He's a wizard, Petunia."

Dudley's world completely tilted off its axis at that point even though he was a bit relieved to find out what he could do was really magic. At first he thought maybe it was some sort of esp thing but he'd never been able to bend spoons or guess the lotto. His wide eyes went back and forth as the two adults argued. How his mother kept denying that he was a wizard and the old man insisting that he was one. His mum had then asked bitingly and with some betrayal if it had been him, meaning Harry, who had done this to Dudley. Dumbledore had told her that Dudley had been born a wizard and there wasn't any way that Harry could have given Dudley magic. His mother seemed defeated at that and sat heavily in the other chair at the table although she still glared at the old man. There was vitriol dripping from her words as she demanded, "What good is magic? It doesn't save you from getting blown up, does it? Doesn't save you from being killed in a car crash." She laughed bitterly then. "What good were your precious wards then?"

Dudley was more confused than ever and was surprised to see the headmaster seemed genuinely sorry as he tried to apologize about Vernon. His mother exploded then yelling things like "Don't you dare!" and the like. He tried to follow the conversation but just became more confused until he caught the bit about his cousin and asked, "Someone was trying to kill, Harry?"

Dumbledore sighed at the meeting not going how he had expected or how he would have liked it to go. Six years ago the instruments he'd grounded to the wards of the Dursley home had gone off alerting him that something was wrong with young Harry's family. Imagine much to his surprise when he had apparated to the house it was unoccupied and learned that there had been a muggle traffic accident. An accident that had required a few Aurors making discreet inquiries and finding out someone had Apparated from the scene of the wreckage. When finding out the victims of the pile up, the Dursleys being among those injured, it was learned that Vernon Dursley had died instantly, Petunia Dursley had suffered a fractured skull, some interior bruising, and a broken leg. She'd gone into a coma for a few days while Dudley had amazingly come away with superficial scratches from when the windows shattered. There had been no sign of Harry Potter anywhere. Both Petunia and Dudley believed Harry to be one of the unidentifiable bodies. Yet the instruments at the Headmaster's office hadn't stilled or indicated in any way that the wards had fallen. If they were still intact, that meant that the boy was still alive and called the place home. That had been the case up until the two remaining Dursleys had moved and the wards had ceased to function. After that there wasn't any way to prove if Harry was still alive or if he had died. Dumbledore was strongly hoping for the former.

What he had not expected was for his Deputy Headmistress, Transfiguration Professor, and Head of Gryffindor House to hand him the list that contained that year's incoming students and see the name Dudley Dursley on it. When McGonagall had asked him about who would be sent to talk to the boy's family, Dumbledore had surprised her by stating he would go himself. He wanted to talk with the woman and he was quite curious how Dudley would have turned out. Having gotten two and half years worth of reports about how Harry and Petunia interacted, he'd been pleased and hoped that the woman had gotten over her biased view of magic. Apparently from her outburst when she saw him that was not the case.

Letting out another sigh, Dumbledore explained to Dudley about Harry. If the boy was going to be entering the wizarding world, he would soon enough learn about his cousin. The blond listened as he was told history of a world he didn't know about and would be stepping into soon and that his cousin had been born into. About the rise of Lord Voldemort, about how the uncle and aunt he'd never get to meet had gone into hiding and died resisting the attempt at a new darker regime. How somehow his cousin had defeated the dark wizard at just fifteen months old. To protect Harry he was given into Petunia's care (his mother had snorted at that comment), the only blood relative that could be trusted with him.

"Wait, so he has other family?" Dudley wondered. Well, he had to have done hadn't he? It wasn't like his Uncle James just sprouted into being. He had to have had a mum and dad or even siblings.

"In a manner of speaking," Dumbledore had replied. It was explained about how all pureblood wizards were related in some way and that Harry was related to a few families through his father's side by both marriage as well as blood. Because of politics it wasn't a good idea to have given him into the custody of any of them since those that were closest by blood were working for the wizard that had killed Harry's parents. Then of course the one cousin that Dumbledore would have liked to have given the child to would have been petitioned by the sister and since her family was better off, it was likely Harry would have fallen into the wrong hands. Petunia was chosen because she was the closest blood relative and that while growing up in the Muggle world it would both protect Harry since it was the last place a wizard would look for him, and to keep him from his fame. Naturally Dudley got a crash course on the wizarding terms and political caste while his mother kept her angry gaze on the old man seeming to already know some of what was being told and it being news to her about others.

When everything was said, Dudley looked down at the envelope in his hands and then looked to his mother who looked torn. She looked at the headmaster with finality, "He'll not be going!"

"You'll be sending him to Durmstrange Institute or Beauxbatons Academy then?" Dumbledore full well knew that that wasn't what she had meant and her expression clearly stated that as well. That of course had Dudley asking what those were and learning about other wizarding schools. How some people in England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales opted to send their children to a different school then the one they were invited to. When it seemed that the woman wouldn't budge on the subject even after learning that it would be dangerous for her son not to be trained, it was actually Dudley himself that had convinced his mother it would be for the best. Dumbledore did not correct the boy about how students were not allowed to use magic outside of school when Dudley told his mother that if he learned how to do cleaning spells and the like how much quicker it would make doing the work around the flat. He cajoled his mother and got her to grudgingly agree to allow him to go. That's how they decided to view it despite her muttered, "Fine, go and get yourself blown up as well!" as she left the kitchen and went back to her room.

It was agreed that Dudley would accompany another professor to Diagon Alley to collect his school supplies. Dumbledore had come a bit early to speak with Petunia and Dudley Dursley so if they could come to an accord, the boy could join the others for the initiation into the wizarding world. Minerva was already in Diagon with the group small group of muggleborns and the parents. Would Petunia like to accompany Dudley? The woman looked torn, as if she did yet did not want to go. Longing yet loathing struggled for dominance on her face. In the end Dudley gave a sad smile and suggested he go by himself, that he was old enough to be responsible and that why didn't his mum use her day off to relax without him about? In the end, that was what was agreed and so Dudley got his first taste of side-along apparition. Green to the gills, he gave a queasy smile to the headmaster whose eyes twinkled at him gaily. Getting a good look around he gaped at the market that looked as if it came out of a fairy tale story or the dark ages history. He was led to a small group that was coming out of a very large white lopsided building. There were four boys amongst the adults with the woman that screamed WITCH! You would know what she was right away, even though she didn't have green skin or hairy warts. Dumbledore left him with her saying her name was Professor McGonagall and that she would be showing him around the alley. Before he left, Dumbledore handed over a pouch full of coins. One of the other boys who introduced himself as Dean Thomas went over the coins with him since he missed the little tutorial. According to him the girls had the grand tour yesterday and today it was the boys.

Everything was wonderful! He tried to listen to what Professor McGonagall was telling them as they visited each store they had collect some of their supplies from but it was a bit hard to stay focused. It was there that he learned what Dumbledore had meant about his cousin being famous. He heard people talking and speculating about if they'd see Harry Potter for his first year at Hogwarts. Whenever he heard these and McGonagall was aware of it, she would steer him away and give him a strained sympathetic smile. At the bookstore he'd run into a girl who apparently had been on the tour yesterday but had wanted to come back for more books. She stated that she had wanted to learn about the history some more so had come back with some of her pocket money after of course exchanging it at the bank. She had of course also wanted to learn about Harry Potter and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, since that was all anyone could seem to talk about. Hearing his cousin lauded as The-Boy-Who-Lived caused something to twist in his stomach and rendered him unable to speak.

The thing he was looking forward to as were the other boys and anyone would after hearing that they were magicians in the making, was a wand. Of course, Dudley was also naturally nervous as well. Dean volunteered to be the first one to get his wand and the boys found it great fun that Ollivander didn't seem to mind that things were broken or boxes of wands sent akimbo when they tried out the wands to find a fit. It seemed his store was magicked so that everything went back to the way it was before it was the next boy's turn. When it was Dudley's turn he gave a nervous small but since all the other boys had gotten their wands, surely he'd be matched to one as well? When he picked up the first one he looked questioningly at the old man behind the counter and gave it an experimental wave but had it snatched out of his hand before he could complete it. Quite aware of everyone's eyes on him, especially Professor McGonagall's, Dudley felt his face heat up as he tried a few other wands with no luck until he felt the warmth in his hand and something telling him that this was his wand. It was made of rowan with a unicorn hair core. Dudley felt himself smile and it didn't leave his face for the rest of his trip through the alley. The professor saw off all the students and then helped Dudley get home with his packages. He thanked the professor and wanted to share what had happened with his mother telling her everything, but she wasn't home yet.

The summer progressed and Dudley who'd tried to share with his mother what had happened only for her to be slightly standoffish with him, couldn't wait for it to end. When September the first rolled around, he'd made his way to King's Cross with his mother thankfully who still seemed unsure how to act around him. She saw him off and that was when his adventure into the unknown really began. Along the way on the train he met up with the boys he'd met in Diagon as well as a few others. A boy who kept losing his toad shared what he knew as well as his fears. They were friends by the time they reached the castle and ended up going separate ways. Dean ended up in Gryffindor with Neville while Justin and he were sorted into Hufflepuff. The first thing out of Justin's mouth when they went through the common room door after looking around had been, "I feel a bit like a Hobbit." You could tell who was a muggle born and knew fantasy by their reactions to that.

His year progressed quickly with some adventure thrown in. He and Justin and a few other boys would take to exploring the magic castle when they could. Halloween a troll had gotten in and Dudley had the misfortune to meet it. He'd only really gone looking for Hermione because of the prat Ron Weasley making him come with him and Neville to the girl's loo to apologize to Hermione causing them to miss the announcement about the troll. Then he heard about Hagrid keeping a baby dragon until it set part of his hut on fire. After that there were just the normal adventures you got when being misled by mischievous red headed twins, dodging Peeves, and trying not to draw attention in Potions since the professor was very strict. According to Dean he was a nightmare in the Gryffindor/Slytherin classes. As for the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw ones, he didn't seem to take as many points.

Professor Severus Snape made Dudley nervous and it wasn't just because he was Professor McGonagall strict while in Potions. The first night during his Sorting the man had stared at him as if he could burn a hole through him. The look on his face was very queer at first but then turned to a lip curl of derision. He'd caught the man staring at him during their first potions class as well. After speaking with Neville he guessed that maybe he chose one person from every class to intimidate and Dudley happened to be it for the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw block. By the time of the end of term had come and winter holidays had come, Dudley had gone home and found a lack luster greeting. It wasn't all bad, his mum just had to get used to knowing his secret and knowing that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She at least listened to him when he told her about his classes and then when she heard about Professor Snape she had given a scowl to rival the professor's. That was when he learned about how as a child Professor Snape had hurt his mum by making a tree branch fall on her head. Dudley was upset of course, but he knew kids did stupid things but didn't tell his mother that. At least he knew why the man had been watching him, he'd known his mother and was probably surprised to see him at Hogwarts.

After spending the holiday with his mother he felt a little better going back to school knowing that she wasn't completely against him learning and that she confided in him a bit of why she hadn't wanted him to go. The rest of the year flew by full of class work, home work, going to quidditch games and cheering until his throat was raw for Hufflepuff, and almost towards the end of the year before their exams, Professor Quirrell had done a runner. There was no explanation really, even though the students were curious and gossiping about what could have caused it. Then it was homeward bound with a reminder that they weren't allowed to do magic outside of school, which was a letdown for Dudley who'd planned on using some of what he learned to help out his mum. On the bright side at least he'd gotten Dean, Hermione, and Justin's phone numbers to call them for possible meet ups over the summer. As for Neville and Ron the prat, they said they'd said an owl to keep in touch with him.

A.N. STILL UNBETAED. I realized when I was going over my stories and also a few reviewers of Torn Decicions had pointed out some holes in my story that I had left out. Some I plan on addressing but others still won't come about until around chapter 20 or so when third year takes place. I can only blame my youth and being caught up in the excitement of being so new to this that I left those big gaping holes. I facepalmed and headdesked quite a bit.

Apologies if it seems rushed and rather short. I wanted to get this out before the weekend. I will be busy what with it being Sabbath and then during Passover, so I likely won't be able to update again for a week or so. My updates will never come on a weekend.

Side note, I think if I'm correct that public schools in the UK are actually like private schools in the US. And that state schools in the UK are like the US's public schools. And secondary school is like the US's middle to high school.