The One They All Lost

Chapter 2 ~ I Loved You (What A Stupid Decision)

You'd think that I'd know by now that things like love and relationships don't work out for me. You'd think that I'd know better, that I'd save myself from the pain, from the utter heartbreak of losing the ones closest to you. But I don't. At least not when it comes to you. You break down all of my my walls, you won't let me hide, won't let me retreat into myself. You forced me to face you, to face my emotions, to face the pain inside. You'd always hold me, always wipe away my tears and smile. You'd kiss me and tell me that you loved me, that I mattered.

If I mattered Jace, then why did you leave me? You're not here to hold me anymore, to give me strength, to give me your warmth. I always called you my sun, my golden boy, the one who always managed to pull a smile from even the most broken of all people; but you're gone and so is my sun.

Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something stupid? Did my big mouth finally push you away? I... don't understand, Jace. Were you really so miserable? So fed up? Were none of us enough to make you stay? Were we really so worthless? We all loved you you know. You were Izzy's brother, Clary's safety, Simon's confident, Alec's best friend, my savior.

Tell me, what's the point of saving something that you're only going to shatter later?

…

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I love you. I hope you knew that. I love you and I'm dying without you. I should probably hate you, most people would, but I understand. I know what its like to feel so hopeless, like you have nothing left and no one cares. What I just want to know... What made you think that I wouldn't be there for you? That I wouldn't take care of you like you've taken care of me?

Did you genuinely think no one would care if you were gone or did you just not care at that point?

...I'm a failure. A fuck up. I wasn't there for you. You shouldn't have had to ask for help, I should have known, should have been there for you automatically. I should have saved you from yourself, should have held you and stroked your hair as you cried. Even the sun needs to go away fro a while, Jace. Sometimes it needs to rest. That's why the moon comes. So tell me, what made you think you had to be the sun 24/7? That you had to burn yourself out?

Because you didn't. You didn't have to be strong, didn't have to put up a front. And the fact that you did, that you did it to protect us... It makes me both love you and hate your nearly flawless ability to fake it.

Didn't you know that you didn't need to pretend around me? No walls remember, Jace? Isn't that what you said?

...Did you lie?

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I love you and I will always be yours. Even if you've broken all that was left of me.

~Magnus

Alright so there you have it, Magnus Bane. :) Next up is Simon if anyone's still interested.

*Also, the wording of the summery might confuse some people but Jace committed suicide.*

;3

~TMTMFD