Anyone But Me

Chapter two..How Do You Talk To An Angel ?

Are you fleeing from Love because of a single humiliation?

What do you know of Love except the name?
Love has a hundred forms of pride and disdain,
and is gained by a hundred means of persuasion.

These were the words being spoken to me in AP English. As I sat in my small wooden chair desk combo. Watching the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen watch me back. With every word she spoke it became clear I was in trouble. In lamens terms I had it bad and that was not good. Even her name was more than I could handle Aster. Aster I could say it all day and start again the next yet never grow tired.

Since Love is loyal, it purchases one who is loyal:
it has no interest in a disloyal companion.
The human being resembles a tree; its root is a covenant with God:
that root must be cherished with all one's might.

We had spent nearly every waking hour together since we met a week ago. Even spending time hanging out at my dad's fire station. Just to be together we held hands we sat incrdibly close to each other people were starting to stare at lunch. It was clear our friendship wasn't just friendly friendship it was special friendly friendship. That couldn't happen right ? Was I gay I didn't think that I was gay though that would explain the feelings I had for my best friend. When we were twelve I was very confused about what the line was in our friendship. Could I kiss her ..No of course not she was my best friend I didn't want to weird her out. With my blatant confusion.

A weak covenant is a rotten root, without grace or fruit.
Though the boughs and leaves of the date palm are green,
greenness brings no benefit if the root is corrupt.
If a branch is without green leaves, yet has a good root,
a hundred leaves will put forth their hands in the end.

Aster finished with her poem and the bell rang the teacher informing us to turn in our homework from yesterday on her desk. As we single filed out of the small class room. Aster was right next to me holding my hand. I had not gotten to read my poem to her yet. This humiliation would most assuredly be continued through tommorow though. Of this I could be sure teachers at our school were very thorough. If they weren't and the kids started dropping out they lost funding.

Today school was finally over so Aster and I decided to go to my place. I was cooking it was a rare occassion. We stopped off at the market that between school and my house to pick up some extras I would need. Like mushrooms,onions and multi colored peppers I was making a sitr fry. Aster kept teasing me that I was the woman of the house and how she wanted dinner placed before her. I almost died laughing.

" I'm serious woman give me some dinner or I'm gonna go that diner down the street !" Aster demanded pounding her silverware on the wood table laughing.

" Well you can just go ahead I haven't made this since I was twelve it's going to take me awhile. I can't remember how long to cook the harder veggies before I add the softer ones. "

Aster stood up and pulled off her leather jacket revealing her tan arms with just a hint of toned muscle in them. They were especially shown off in her tight black t-shirt. " Here let me help. "

" Wait, can you cook ?" I pondered.

" Yes..in theory.." Aster trailed taking a knife she started to julian the peppers and onions. " Here when you slice'em thin like this they don't take as long to cook. I used to help my mom before she and my dad were so unavailable back when I was too young to shove into a school system. "

" Could you hand me the soy sauce please babe.." 'I let that slip oh, crap now I'm discovered.' Or atleast I thought I was then she just smiled at me with those gorgeous Angelina lips and hand me the soy. I took it from her slowly..our fingers touched and we both made this 'oh!" sound and pulled apart quickly.

I turned my attentions to the stove top and heating the wok. I suddenly felt her gentle warm hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to face her slowly.

" Hey, it's okay here are your veggies muffin. " She giggled teasing me like that was getting her in so much trouble.

" I'm sorry I didn't me.."

" It's cool, you're not the first to call me that. "

" Oh, I-I'm not. " Vivian stuttered.

" No, but you're the first one that called me that and I liked it. " Aster complimented.

" I see well maybe I'll call you that some other time. I'd hate to spoil you. " Vivian joked elbowing Aster's ribs.

" Too late I'm already spoiled. "

My dad picked the most wonderful time to call and tell me he had to spend the night at the station. Because Frank's daughter had a recitle and he volunteered to fill in for his shift.

" What's wrong ?" Aster asked me concern on her face.

" Nothing really my dad's just not coming to dinner he's filling in cause Frank's daughter had a piano thing. " Vivian replied mopingly.

" So what's the problem we'll just finish cooking and catch a cab to the firehouse. He can't come to us we'll just go to him. " Aster simplified.

" Really ? " I asked and the brown haired girl nodded in confirmation. " You're my hero. " I sighed hugging her.

Aster pulled back a little and looked into my eyes. " Viv..I gotta ask you something and I need you to answer me because I'm not sure I've got the guts to ask you again. "

" What is it ?" I asked suddenly feeling my heart drop into my stomach.

" The way we are together..I-I mean the holding hands and hugging and calling pet names to each other. That's not normal friendship stuff you know. "

" I know. " I sighed lowering my head in denial. Not of my feelings because my feelings for her were beautiful. But of my ignorance that we could just go on not aknowledging these things to each other.

" I have feelings for you Vivian, I like , like you alot actually. My question to you is do you feel that way or am I the only one ?"

In that moment I was paralyzed crippled in my fears. My fear of what happens next ? Will we still be friends ? Will she only want that one thing that I've never given to anybody? Can I trust her with my heart ? I had to I couldn't go on like this with her I nodded my head two tears running down either cheek. " Yes, I do. " I breathed out.

Aster held me there drying my tears. " Are you as freakin' scared as I am ?"

" Yeah. " I laughed while sniffling.

" Well that's a relief. Let's talk about the details after we feed your dad huh ?"

" Sounds good. " I agreed eagerly. It was hard enough admitting these things..these feelings to myself. Having just admitted them to the very object of their cause was troubling at best. I dreaded the day they would come up once again in our conversations.

The evening went on like normal and as planned. Aster didn't bring anything up again. Maybe she was just as scared as I was of these strange new feelings. Or maybe she was afraid I was too scared to be with her..was I ? The answer to that I was not sure I held at the time.

Aster's P.O.V.

When I finally got home to my parents apartment, empty apartment. I recalled everything I had accomplished today. I managed to get that poem out. I wonder if Vivian knew I picked that poem out for her. Written words were for me the easiest way to show my true feelings.

Tonight at Vivian's place was just too intense. I hope I didn't scare her away. If there was ever a person I wanted to keep close to me it was her. With long balck hair and her round green eyes she was just too beautiful. The way she spoke like she was from another time so articulate.

I always have had big emotions but now it seemed they were growing..for her. I want to talk to her tomorrow before no after school. That way if either of us feels like running for hills we'll atleast have time in our schedules to do so.

TO BE CONTINUED...