Author's Note: Got it up as soon as I could! I enjoyed reading all of your reviews, and thank you so much for leaving them! For all of you who read the first chapter and didn't review...well, if there was anything you didn't like about it, I would love to hear exactly what (as long as you are polite about it). To everyone who ventured a guess about what Brooke's announcement/secret/question/whatever is, I have news! You're not going to find out in this chapter, either. But all will be revealed, eventually. If you like, hate, "whatever", this chapter, please leave a review, because I have my own opinion of it, and I need to know if you feel the same way! Constructive criticism is more than welcome (as are glowing praises, of course).

EDIT: Due to the recent developments on One Tree Hill, Karen's son Keith has been changed to her daughter Lily, and Nathan and Haley's son Bryan is now their second-born, James's little brother.

Agatha Christie once wrote:
"I live now on borrowed time,
waiting in the anteroom for the summons that will inevitably come.
And then - I go on to the next thing, whatever it is.
One doesn't luckily have to bother about that."


Chapter Two
Waiting In The Anteroom

Whitey's dead.

She had known this horrible truth for two days. She had cried over it, questioned God, contemplated the meaning of life, beaten herself up for every time she had ever kept herself from expressing her gratitude for all his kindness, and gone through her daily duties on autopilot as she thought about the cold hard fact that he was irreversibly dead. And she realized that none of her tears or reflections on existence could ever bring him back.

Denial.

It was all just a mistake. Nathan had his facts mixed up, or the body had been wrongly identified. Whitey had simply gone on a short vacation without telling anybody, but he would be back in a few weeks, and everything would go back to normal. Brooke and Lucas would return to Tree Hill for Christmas later that year, and he would be there to celebrate with them. They would exchange presents, he would try to prod Lucas and Brooke into marrying each other already before he wasn't around anymore to attend the wedding...

Anger.

How could he just go and die on them, with no warning, no proper goodbye? He was supposed to be there for her when she and Lucas did get married, because they had talked about it together the year before, jokingly at the beginning, but serious at the end. Whitey would give her away, because Brooke could not even rely on her father and mother to actually show up, and he would make one of his wise speeches at their reception. His phone line would always be open whenever she and Lucas needed help, because he had all the answers they needed about life, love, happiness, sharing, kindness, spending time with each other, appreciating things, living...And if he was going to die, why couldn't he wait until they were all with him to tell him how much they cared about him and would miss him?

Bargaining.

Why couldn't God just send him back for five minutes? Just five more minutes, so that Brooke could try to sum up to him what he meant to her, because she knew she didn't tell him enough. She remembered all the hello and goodbye hugs, the sage advice he gave her and all of her friends, how he steadily guided their courses with his smart words and oftentimes not-so-gentle prodding. He cared for them, and they cared for him, and it just wasn't right that he had been taken away before they could tie everything up. Say goodbye. Hug him just once more, and really take the time to appreciate it. To appreciate the way he smelled and commit to memory. Why couldn't God just bring him back so she could say goodbye?

Depression.

Bryan "Whitey" Durham. Her mind was full of him. How ecstatic he had been when his Ravens had earned him his 500th win. How much he loved his late wife Camilla, even though she had been dead for so long that he could not remember what her smile looked like or how sweet her perfume smelled. Brooke found herself terrified of forgetting the way Whitey's rough voice grew husky when he was emotional and trying to hide it, or how he had patted her shoulder and told her that it did not matter that she and Lucas were going to be in two different states. He told her that he believed in their love and what it could do, just as much as he believed in Nathan and Haley's, in Karen and Keith's, in his and Camilla's. Whitey always knew just what to say...

Acceptance.

She had not gotten there yet. Instead, she was stuck cycling through the other four "stages of grief", as they were called, unable to see past the moment and realize that even though he was gone, everything would be okay. Life would go on. People would laugh, hearts would break, children would grow, children would bury their parents, loves would be forged and broken. Lives would end. But life would not. But the knowledge that the world at large would not stop to mourn the loss of Whitey made her angrier than the fact that he had not even had the decency to wait for her to get to Tree Hill before he died.

When Brooke finally managed to tear her eyes away from the skyline, she shifted her gaze to Lucas and felt her heart break at what she saw. His brow was furrowed and heavy, which reminded her of the expression he got every time he reached the end of The Great Gatsby, and there were red rims around his eyes that told her he had been silently crying. Compelled to offer him some small amount of comfort, she moved her left hand to rest on top of his right knee. Just as it was second nature for her to respond to his loving kisses and caresses, Lucas reacted to her soft touch by sliding his hand down from the steering wheel and setting it over hers.

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the sound of the road beneath the tires.

"Welcome to Tree Hill," whispered Brooke after they passed the tacky mint green sign.

"Do you feel any different?" Lucas asked, and she wasn't sure if the question was rhetorical, or if he actually wanted an answer.

Brooke decided on the latter. "Not really. Well, a little. Nervous?"

Lucas nodded, and laced his fingers through hers. They were not far from his mother's café, where they had arranged to meet up with Karen, her daughter Lily, Nathan and Haley, their sons James and Bryan, and Nathan's mother Deb. Brooke had not really made it a priority to keep in touch with anyone else from high school, so she had no idea who else would be coming back to attend Whitey's funeral, or if anyone other than Nathan and Haley had moved back after college. Mouth, Bevin, Skills, and Rachel were the only people she knew about for sure, and she did not particularly care about anyone else's post-graduation endeavors.

"Do you know who else is coming?" she whispered, keeping her eyes on the road ahead of them. Looking around at the familiar high school haunts would only make her think of Whitey again, and she wanted to give herself a little time off from the depression to recharge.

She felt Lucas's fingers curl tighter around her own, and she returned the light squeeze with one of her own, prompting him to answer.

"Skills. He...said he would be up as soon as he could. Bevin too."

Brooke nodded, her eyes catching a group of teenagers laughing together on the sidewalk. Whitey sprang to mind immediately, and she felt her sorrow grow at the thought of all the students at Tree Hill High whose lives would never be touched by him the way hers had been. Lucas continued to list all the people he thought were coming, but she found herself unable to tune back in. The light turned red at the intersection in front of them, and she turned her head slightly to observe the group of kids as they reached the corner. Three girls, arms linked in a jumble of shopping bags and purses, and two guys walking behind them with what looked like the heavy duty plunder. Despite herself, despite the fact that she usually did everything she could to forget about all the carefree moments with her friend sin high school, Brooke smiled at the sight. She had been one of those girls at one point, maybe the one on the far left with the impeccable makeup and the cell phone covered in Swarovsky crystals.

Thankfully, before she got a chance to get too sentimental, the light turned green and they were on their way again.

"Nathan said that he wasn't sure about anyone else, and I don't think they've managed to get a hold of everyone yet."

A small sigh escaped through Brooke's lips, and her boyfriend glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "It's nothing," she said immediately, spotting the look. "I was just thinking about what a sad way this is to have a high school reunion."

"Tell me about it," murmured Lucas.

Silence fell on the car again, and Brooke felt herself growing impatient to reach Karen's Café. Silence meant she had to think, that she had to reminisce and get all philosophical, and she honestly just wanted to collapse in one of Karen's comfy chairs and sip on a piping hot cup of the best coffee in the state. She wanted to hold Haley and Nathan's thirteen-month-son in her arms and try to cajole him into calling her Auntie Brooke, despite Haley's insistence that her little boy would not be calling anyone anything but 'gooboo!' anytime soon. She wanted to chat about how everyone's lives were, she wanted to fend off the constant hints that she and Lucas needed to get married and soon. All of this weight she felt now that she was back in the town where she had so many memories with Whitey, Brooke just wanted it to go away. She wanted to be 17 again, when she thought that her biggest problem was Rachel Gatina trying to steal the cheerleading squad. She would give anything to go back and do everything again, just a little differently.

Not that she would ever tell Lucas that. He would think that she wanted to go back and change things and keep them from being together, or that she regretted even getting back together with him in the first place, and she never wanted him to think that. Now that Whitey was gone and they were both mourning him, more than anything she was glad she had Lucas. No, she did not know if she would have him after she asked him the big, gnawing, persistent, butterfly-ridden question that refused to leave her alone. She didn't even know if they would make it to Karen's Café without getting in a fatal car accident, or being hit by a giant falling meteor. But as they turned onto River Street and the familiar café came into view, she had him, and she was thankful for that.

Luckily, no one drunk came barreling down the street in an 18-wheeler, and the sky was graciously clear of any freak falling meteors, so they pulled in front of the wildly popular, yet still quaint and homey café. For a brief moment as she looked through Lucas's window at the familiar structure in front of them, her thoughts drifted back to that group of teenagers she had seen walking down the sidewalk; when she and Lucas walked into the café and were greeted warmly by Karen, Deb, Haley, and Nathan, the feeling that she was just a wild teenager became a bit overwhelming. She almost felt like painting the town red, winning state with her tight-knit squad, and maxing out her daddy's credit cards in just a day's worth of shopping at the mall.

She was grateful when that feeling went away.

"Sit down, you two," Karen insisted, patting the countertop with her free hand. Her other hand was supporting the weight of her daughter, who was sitting on her hip and nodding off against her shoulder.

Brooke smiled at the sight, and waved a little to Lily, who smiled sleepily at her before closing her eyes.

"She's gotten so big!" she whispered to Karen, taking a seat next to Haley, who leaned in for a one-armed hug. It had been forever since the two had done anything but chat for five minutes on the phone, and even though their reunion was the result of an awful tragedy, Brooke knew that if they didn't take the opportunity to catch up properly, that would be just a big a tragedy as Whitey dying. He had always told them to keep their friends close, to never waste time they could spend being happy together by being mad at them over inconsequential things. For the most part, Brooke adhered to this advice, but there was one case...one very sensitive case in which she disregarded her old surrogate grandpa's words completely.

I wonder if she...

Rather than letting herself actually have that thought, she talked over it as she leaned down to give Naley's newest son Bryan, who was sitting in his mother's lap and looking wide-eyed at all the people, a little kiss on the top of the head. "Well, hello there, Tutor Son! It's Auntie Brooke, remember me?" She grinned up at Haley, who rolled her eyes. "Can you say Auntie Brooke? An-tee Broooooooke. Come on."

For the first time in the past two days, everything felt like it was going to be okay. As she tickled Bryan's little belly, felt Lucas's thumb gently rubbing her back, talked reflectively with Nathan and Haley about all the advice Whitey had given them, got the skinny on how successful the café had become from Karen, and laughed good-naturedly when Deb accidentally dropped the jar of biscotti, she felt like she was home. At one point, she looked over at Lucas with a small smile, which he returned, and she felt it deep in her bones. Whitey was there with them in that moment, watching them from heaven, or limbo, or some basketball court on a higher plane, and he was happy that they could remember him with such fondness. Sure, there would be more tears to cry, more photographs to weep over, more times she would wish he hadn't died so she could ask him for advice. But it would all be okay, in the end, because he was watching over them.

She must not have been the only one to feel his presence in the otherwise empty café, because a few seconds later, Haley lovingly kissed Bryan's cheek and asked him quietly if he remembered his big unofficial grandfather. Brooke remembered the day Haley gave birth to Bryan with perfect clarity, and she could perfectly recall the look of pride on Whitey's face as Nathan told him that they were going to give their second son his first name. It had been perfect, a perfect tribute, a perfect way to let Whitey live on in their lives. She knew that the little guy would more than live up to his namesake, and according to Nathan, he was already showing all the signs of being an ace basketball player.

That was, almost to a tee, how she had wanted her life to turn out ever since she had started dating Lucas. The big family that cared about each other, all their little babies running around and playing together, standing up at each other's weddings to make toasts about all the love...would she and Lucas have that soon? The somber reason they were back in Tree Hill had dissuaded anyone from making too many jokes, as occupied with their grief and past ghosts as they were, so she hadn't had to fend off any of the usual 'when are you and Lucas getting married?' questions that generally peppered any conversation with Karen and Deb.

When would they get married? She had wondered that a lot, up until recently. Was her big, dream wedding even worth it now that Whitey would not physically be there to give her away? Could she still ask Lucas to do this with her, now that their lives were down one sage old man to give them helpful advice and make the most complicated things seem so simple and clear?

Brooke let her head lay against Lucas's shoulder, much like Lily's was laying against Karen's, and closed her eyes when she felt his strong arm secure itself around her waist. The world fell away for a few minutes, finally, and the sudden silence gave her a much needed chance to clear her head. Now was not the time to be thinking about her future with Lucas, not when she had to work through the turmoil Whitey's death had left in her mind. More than ever, she wanted to just curl up under a blanket with a nice cup of Karen's coffee, because that in itself would make all her problems go away. The warmth of Whitey's presence was still there, surrounding her just like Lucas's embrace, but now she almost wished it would go away so she would not have to feel her every sense be filled with him. His smell was almost under her nose; Lucas's arm could almost be his arm, giving her a big bear hug; Nathan's voice two stools down could almost be Whitey's, telling Karen some romantic story about his late wife, Camilla.

God, she was going to miss him.

Compelled to tell everyone this not so startling revelation, Brooke opened her eyes and opened her mouth to share.

She was effectively cut off by the tinkling of the bell over the door, and the arrival of Peyton Sawyer.