So, my idea for 9.4 didn't happen (I'd be super surprised if it did!) – anyway, this is what would follow my version…

Ruth was paradoxically tired but not at all sleepy. She had taken a long, hot bath, and now she was curled up on her couch, trying not to think too much about the events of the day. Beth had made some dinner, and until the food was put before her, Ruth hadn't realized she was hungry. Ruth's wine glass was refilled by Beth, who had finished the washing up and sat down opposite. I need to take it easy on the wine. The last thing I need is an alcohol problem on top of everything else. Beth must have been able to read her thoughts in her expression.

"I think you deserve a second glass after today."

"Thanks." A wan smile.

They were tentative flatmates; Ruth was uncomfortable in the position Lucas had placed her in. It was a different matter altogether spying on a colleague. Although she had to admit she was glad for the company tonight. Beth for her part still felt like the new kid at school, despite her experience in the private sector. She and Ruth hadn't talked much except about day-to-day things, and she had the impression that Ruth had been through a lot of sadness in her life. After what she had witnessed today between her and Harry, curiosity was getting the better of her.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"OK." Ruth wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or the wine that answered for her.

"What is it between you and Harry, really?"

"What makes you say that?" Ruth was getting defensive already, and Beth was pretty sure that Ruth hadn't seen her when she came in earlier.

"I'm not a gossip. It's just that you'd have to be deaf, dumb, and blind not to notice that there is something…and for Dimitri's sake…"

"Dimitri?" Ruth was aghast. Beth couldn't help but laugh.

"Goodness, Ruth, for an intelligence analyst you're not very observant sometimes. So, should I warn Dimitri…?"

"It's…complicated…"

"It always is."

The comment surprised Ruth – Beth seemed to young to be so…jaded. Ruth was at war with herself about how much to say, even assuming she could articulate it to another person. It was tempting to unburden herself, to try to get another perspective. God knows she had closed the door on ever really being able to talk to Harry again. She was silent for so long that Beth had given up hope that she would get an answer.

"Harry's very hurt and angry with me."

That's not what I saw earlier, Beth thought.

"Why?"

"Because I refused his proposal." Bloody hell. That was not what Beth had expected. Admittedly, she didn't know Harry that well, but she would've thought that he would be one of those who were "married to the Service".

"Were you honest?"

"What makes you ask that?"

"Think about what we are, what we do. We spend our lives lying, manipulating, poking under people's defenses. Honesty, even to ourselves, is a pretty scarce commodity. Harry probably understands that better than anyone. He may be disappointed," and here the image of Harry oblivious to anything but Ruth in his arms came into her head, "but I don't think he's angry, at least not with you. Even if he were, in time he'll come to appreciate your honesty above everything."

Ruth had no reply to that. That was the crux of the whole matter. Had she been honest with him? Or was she so terrified of getting hurt she shut him out before it could happen? The truth of the matter was that she couldn't shake the feeling of how he held her earlier, and it was disconcerting. Time had stood still for those moments, but was that the shock, or because it was Harry? She thought of all the times lately that he had shut her out, and how much that had hurt her, even though she couldn't blame him. She had taken his friendship, however charged and awkward, for granted, and missed it greatly now that it was gone. Oh hell.

The exhaustion was creeping in now, aided by the wine. Whatever conclusions she was going to come to, it wasn't going to be tonight. She thought about Beth had said, and something came to mind:

"You have a story behind that, don't you? The whole honesty thing…"

"Yes, but it's not one for tonight. You should get some rest. Goodnight."

"Goodnight…and thanks."

Both spooks lay awake that night, despite the stress of the day, lost in their own thoughts.

Reviews would be lovely!