I admit it. I was shocked when Sam suddenly had wings and a tail.
But once I got used to them, I saw that the gliding and enhanced jumping were pretty fun and useful.
And once she had me semi-convinced that she wasn't a demon (can anyone ever be entirely convinced that their lover is not a demon?) I was ready to look at them as just a part of her. And maybe, I almost hate to say it, but, find them attractive.

I mean if the situations were reversed I'd be teasing her. Poking her and tickling her; saying 'somebody's a furbie. Somebody wishes I had an actual cat costume. You little furbie. Somebody likes it fluffy. Someone likes it warm and fluffy like a pancake'." And other assorted playful teases.
But Sam was relieved if anything. After she explained that it was furrie not furbie and explained what a furby was (I'd almost shut those terrifying monster toys from my mind); she explained how scared she'd been that I would just not even look at her the same way.

At least I remembered that when I woke up.
My sweet Sammy and the lovely day we had playing with her new wings. Seeing if she could fly. And as far as I knew it was the next morning.
Until I found Sam's note. Initially I didnt even recognize it was from her. She hates to write and with text and email she almost never does.
I barely recognized her handwriting and on something so long.

I have to say, I felt really loved. I could tell that she had to leave me and was so scared that I would wake up and she wouldn't be here. She babbled sure, she was trying to throw out everything she could think of as fast as she could. It was messy and a little confusing. But it did tell me what was happening and even more important it showed me that she would do anything for me. Including writing a note that was almost a novel and doing it while Im sure someone was shouting at her to hurry up.

Kitten,

I don't know how long you'll be out and I have Tori and Jade bitching at me, as well as saying, "But Sam, this is serious." every five minutes.
AS IF I wasn't taking this seriously.
I want to give her a slap.
And wait till you see her. Jade. I wont tell you why, but seriously. If you think I changed...

However, until we get Glinda, she's the best we have.
Because while they want to call anyone with magical power a witch, Jade has storybook witch powers, not like you or anyone else I've heard of.
Maybe Glinda, I don't know.

She says you might not remember anything. But I'm gonna hope you at least know who you are and who I am. Because if you don't, we have more problems than I can deal with alone.
But I know we can face it together. No matter what happens. We got this far, didn't we?

Who would have thought that The Wizard of Oz was based on a true story? Or that Wonderland and Neverland were both real places as well?
A lucky few had always been allowed across the veil or gate or wall between our worlds.
Somehow someone always made it through one way or the other over the years.
Quite a few people if you remember that the world of the White Rabbit and the Cowardly Lion was the same place as the world of Jack the Giant Killer and the Snow Queen. So it seems everyone who woke up in a mysterious magic land was going to their own local section of the same place.

I guess that explains how a persnickety and obsessive mathematician (with a dark secret), ended up the originator of the nonsense fantasy genre.

Once the twin worlds existed... we'll say side by side but in fact it was exactly on top of each other.
Their molecules moved in the empty space within our molecules.
Our scientists and their wizards knew that the vast majority of even the most solid, hard material is empty space.
But we didn't understand is that empty space could host multiple worlds even multiple people.
That only things that vibrated at the frequency of our world existed here the rest of it passed through us like radio waves. But even radio waves existed in our world. The stuff of the Otherworld didn't balk at lead or diamond or anything; passing through everything equally easily.

Fuck biscuits, I'm sorry, you don't need to know all that chiz. But I said it, so I'll leave it and move on.

I don't really understand it, even though I've seen a documentary.
Ever since the tv woke up and came to life it was 'watch what it wants to show or nothing'.
Oh yeah everything electrical. Tv, cars, cel phones they're all alive if they work at all. Stuff like microwaves and toasters, stuff not interesting enough to attract a gremlin (what some of us're calling the little spirit sprites that live in objects and bring them to life). They dont work at all. Gas stoves and the like are still just stoves, but... Damn it. You dont need to know every detail and I have no time.

Hundreds of years ago, over a thousand, something happened and the big gates, doors, and tunnels were closed separating the worlds. It was almost assuredly humanities fault. It had something to do with the discovery of iron. A man made metal that not only could distort or destroy the effects of magic depending on proximity; it burned magic folks like solid blocks of acid.
I'd be willing to bet its more likely humanity was too open, once this effect had been discovered, with their plans to turn this effect to their advantage.
Somehow gaining dominion over our sister world.
So all the gates and doors were shut and locked.

But anything shut can be opened, and there have always been a few people and a few artifacts that could change frequencies and allow people or things to travel back and forth.

So occasionally glimpses were parceled out to a few lucky people, but no more than that. Until Tuesday of last week. Or really Wednesday, since it was 2am. In a moment the two worlds merged. I don't mean the gates opened I mean they became one.

There are no more gates, no more barriers. And it wasn't pretty; more like some primordial god burped up a universe.

Suddenly California is both in Winkie country and in the Dominions of the Nome King. But that doesn't stop Thunderbirds and Manitou from roaming where they will. And don't ask questions. The Charm hears you ask too many questions you'll find yourself turned into a hummingbird-toad. Just so you have other things on your mind.
Because Magic is apparently a sentient force called The Glamorous Charm or just The Charm. Mostly we are just using the bits that fall off them like dandruff, but they can invest you with power if they like you.

Usually, on an average day, its best not to draw their attention. Sort of like a benevolent but mischievous king who is prone to experimentation.

And thats the big problem, the experimentation.
Well that's not exactly true.
The reason a medium percentage of the population exploded, imploded, disassembled or just disappeared was not The Charm experimenting; it was residual energy from the merge.
The reason they didn't stop it, when they definitely could have, that was their eternal, 'lets see what happens' attitude.

This was the same reason for all the Hodgepodges. Which was the Ozite name for those people, plants, and animals that mixed with what or whoever was in the same place at the same time. At least that was the prevailing belief of how we got so many mix-n-match oddities. Nona is a tree now. She looks exactly like Old Nanny Hickory from the Sacajawea movie.

There's Jade, who you have to see to believe.

And yes, I'm a freakin flying monkey. Or a monkeyin flying freak because I'm not pure monk.
When I spell it out it seems like a lot: wings, tail, long fluffy soft fur on my calves and forearms, finger and toenails that are semi-retractable claws I have to trim with a dremel... But really I don't look much different.
Standing in the living room you would say I looked like I'd gotten a tan and was wearing a backpack covered in feathers. The arm and leg fur people say they don't notice right away and when they do, it could maybe pass for some new kind of cashmere legwarmers. Not that I'd ever wear such a thing.

There's no question that there's magic at play. Even beyond turning me like this, because there's no way according to Earth physics I should even be able to glide and flap-jump.
Let alone my minions that can actually fly.

Oh yeah, I'm also king of the monkeys. The day after I woke up this way. While you and I were still trying to sort out what in the name of all hells was going on. (Before we'd even seen the Nona tree). The old king of the monkeys stopped by to give me the golden cap. Which apparently controlled and called my minion horde and was my token of office.
He seemed pretty nonchalant about giving me his crown and he agreed to hang around and act as my advisor.

I needed a lot of advice.
Because all monkeys are winged now.
Monkeys have bird wings, lemurs and other prosimians have butterfly wings and apes have hairy scary dragon wings.

People called them bat wings, I guess because of the hair, but those arent like no bat I ever saw.

And, of course, since all animals can talk now, I had quite the kingdom of subjects.
Or I kinda do, because as it turned out the golden cap had a radius of influence. In Oz it controlled the one tribe that lived there, but now it was a whole different world and I could summon all the primates in five hundred miles, and for the most part, they would be mine to command.

Outside of that sphere of influence, some offered their loyalty by choice and some felt independence was the answer.
At least with the monks.
Apes I have very little experience with, except for the ex-King, Did i say he was a shaggy orangutan with what looks like demon-dragon wings? Cause he is. Other than that the apes I've met are only the ex-tenants of zoos and the odd richie's menagerie. But as far as I could tell I had no control over them at all.

The cap let me call them, but nothing would let me control them, even a little. Which is not to say they opposed me, but just that whatever they did, it was by their free will.

Which I, of course, preferred. I didnt like the caps power. Because while the monks were happy to serve, I dont know if that was natural or the cap's magic.

Frick-frack-frickety-fuck-fuck-damn!

Jade was just reading over my shoulder and saw that I haven't told you nothin 'bout nothin while taking more than three pages to do it.
I'm sorry baby.
Watch your voice, especially singing.

I'm not the only one who changed.

Everyone and their fat granny is a witch now.
And since this is nonsenseland. Or I guess Nonestica is the name for our american/ozite continent.
Wait sorry, what I was saying is because this place seems to equate silliness with magic, every witch must have a title.

So you are officially the Witch of the Western Sea.
Possibly because you are the closest to the beach.

I dont know, nor have time to care.

It had already caught on before the first time we heard it ourselves. Or at least the first time we knew it was you.

They call Jade the witch of the western road and the witch of the black tar road which I think all put her on the 101 but I'm not sure.
That is mostly concrete after all.

They even tried to call me the witch of the monkeys and then the witch of the golden cap when I tried to explain it was the cap that had the power not me. But I think they settled for King of the Monkeys when I insisted. I know the monkeys did, which I guess is what matters.

Crap flibberty crap!

I'm doing it again.

Okay bullet points.

*The first time you saw Jade, you screamed and your scream knocked her ten feet in the air and twenty feet back. Like being hit by a car but without the impact trauma

*When you sing you can force people to obey you. Impressive power but not as flexible qas ould be and not what you would have chosen.

*If you sing a sustained note, it can hit with physical force. (Like your scream, but we think that might not be all you can do with it. Depending on the note.)

*You currently can effect yourself. Possibly always, possibly just till you're used to it. Something happened we don't know what. You might have been attacked. All I know is when I came home you were unconscious with a bit of blood coming out both ears. I called Jade for help and after 24 hrs with no response; the old king, my head monkey, suggested we get Glinda, so that's what I'm doing.

Fuck fuck fuck no time.

Will be home Friday lunch time I hope. Turn on the tv and if he'll work for you. (He should, you're sweet to everyone) find out what day it is and see what he can tell you. I am so sorry kitten. I screwed this royally. Babbled almost four pages and told you almost nothing you need. Dont come looking for me. Try to just stay in the house til im back.

Love you heaps,

Sam.

Well wasn't this a fine kettle of fish. But I couldn't be mad at her. The information she gave me was useful. I would have been happy to have it all, if she hadn't run out of time, so it would be a situation of in 'addition to', not 'instead of'.

I thought I might as well try the tv. I did vaguely remember something about it switching channels quickly and providing what sounded like a connected narrative.

I switched on the tv. It was playing a nature documentary about lemurs. Then they mentioned that lemurs, bushbabies, and loris were prosimians. A word Sam used in her note that I was unfamiliar with. So all those little cuties had butterfly wings and Sam was their queen. Wait, king. She seemed to be pretty adamant that she was a King. "Too bad we don't have documentaries of what they look like now." I said, quietly to myself.

The tv immediately changed. "Please Mistress Witch, give us time. We are just learning how to live at all."

There was now a face like a happy face with sun rays coming off it super imposed over the center of the screen. This gave us something consistent to look at if we talk to it. He also switched channels so fast the voices still changed but there was no longer any lag time between words when he switched.

"Changing and growing. I'd say you're learning to live pretty well." I complimented him.

"Thank you Mistress Witch." The tv said, using the same loop he'd used before. Apparently that would be the way he said my name from now on. And I did ask and make sure he was a he. I also tried to get him to tone down. "Please call me Cat."

"Certainly Mistress Cat whatever you wish." He said.

"No just Cat, without the 'mistress'. I said.

"Perhaps we'll get there. In time," He said, then continued, "I can also cover the screen with a neutral background except my face if you find it distracting for it to alter as I cycle through conversing." There were at least six voices used to say those sentences including one that was clearly female, one that was clearly british and two who were possibly one or the other.

"Do you know where Sam went?" I asked.

"Unfortunately, I do not. I observed, but I did not communicate. King Sam came back to your home, found you unconcious. She sent her chamberlain, the emeritus King to fetch your companions The Witch of the Western Road and Miss Vega. The King Emeritus then suggested she bring Glinda the Good in. The Witch of the Western Road attempted what sorceries she knew but they were for naught and the three of them departed two days past."