Chapter 2-Remember when it rained

A/N: Thank you to the people who reviewed so far, it means a lot to me, which is why I'm updating. . This one may not be as angsty as the last one, and so enjoy. XD

Disclaimer: Buddy, if you don't know I don't own Snape, Lily or any other HP charrie, you have serious problems. Seriously. xD

Remember when it rained

I felt the ground and looked up high

And called you name

Remember when it rained

In the darkness I remain…

-Josh Groban

October 31, 1985

Four years. It had been four long years since Lily had died. I thought of her every single day of my life since then, at least once. If I saw a girl with red hair, I thought of her. If I saw something green, I thought of her. It was ridiculous almost, to what point I thought of her. Dumbledore told me numerous times I needed to get over her. I needed to move on with my life, and I needed to be less bitter towards the world. I didn't mind being bitter. I didn't want anything to do with anyone in the world anymore. Not since the world had chosen to be so cruel, so heartless, towards me.

I had planned to go back and visit her grave that year. Dumbledore had told me I could not go, seeing as I was a teacher, and my duty was to the school.

"My duty is to no one but her, Albus," I hissed at him, storming back down to the dungeons. I did not come to the Halloween feast. Somehow, I couldn't muster the energy to go sit and listen to everyone chatter excitedly about the anniversary of the day You-Know-Who was vanquished. Once again, no one cared to think of Lily. Once again, her death passed by unnoticed by all except me. The dungeons did not help. It was cold and damp, no one there but me. I knew I'd go insane if I stayed down there any longer. I walked back up towards the Great Hall, but did not stop there. I went up the stairs and continued to walk from floor to floor, ignoring the comments the paintings made to me. I went up to the fifth floor, and passed by a deserted classroom. I opened the door and stayed there. It was much larger and warmer than the dungeons were, and there were glass windows everywhere. I knew this classroom. Lily had brought me here once; I remembered it so clearly…

Lily ran through the halls, into the classroom. She shut the door after I'd walked in, panting heavily. She smiled. "There, now stupid Potter won't bug us. He doesn't know about this place."

I blinked. "He doesn't?"

"No," she shook her head, walking over to one of the tables and sitting on it, swinging her legs back and forth. "I found it on my own once, in first year, when I got lost."

I laughed. "You got lost?"

Lily's cheeks turned pink. "Just once! And it's not like you were there to help!" she shot a glare at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Lily sighed. "It's all right. I guess it's not really your fault you're in Slytherin," she opened her book bag and pulled out her homework, sliding onto the floor and spreading it out in front of her. I sat next to her, going through my own things. I pulled out my Transfiguration homework, and my Potions book slipped out. Lily's eyes slid over to it, seeing what was scribbled on the page. "What kind of spell is that?" she asked curiously. "I've never seen that one before, in any of our books, and why is it written in your Potions book?"

I snatched the book away quickly. "Some idiot wrote in it I guess," I mumbled. "You know people are always doing weird stuff to my things…"

I knew she didn't believe me, but she let the subject drop at least. "All right, if you say so…"

We worked in silence for a bit, and to me, silence was golden, if it was with Lily. She was so smart and pretty and I just loved the quiet moments we had together, when we could. But it didn't last. Soon Potter had swung open the door, followed by Sirius Black. They were smirking. "Well, well, well. What are you up to here, Evans? Helping ol' Snivellus with his homework? Can't do it on your own Sniv?"

Lily's eyes widened as she sat up. "James Potter I hate you! Go away. We're trying to study!"

"Study what?" Black smirked.

I wanted to hex him so much. I knew Lily would get angry if I did though.

"Why study here?" Potter asked, his eyes glued to Lily. I made a mental note to blind him in the future.

"Because I wanted to be away from YOU," Lily snapped, pulling out her wand. "Now go away, or I swear you'll be off to see Madame Pomphrey in a matchbox!"

I snickered silently at her quick wit. Potter didn't seem to find it funny. He glared at me and looked back at her. "Fine," he said, smirking. "We'll leave you two to it then," he slammed the door shut, but I could still hear him laughing.

Lily put her wand away, huffing. "Right, so where was I?" she went back to scribbling furiously.

I would never understand how she went from hating James Potter to marrying him. It was a great mystery to me, and still is. I was so sure I had an advantage over Potter. I was so sure eventually she'd love me as much as I loved her. I was wrong. She never really did love me. She liked me, but never loved. I don't think anyone ever really did love me. Another reason to want nothing to do with the world.

I walked over to the window, looking out at the grounds. I could see the spot where Potter had humiliated me, where I'd called her a…mudblood. I regretted that day ever since. Nothing could remove the guilt and self-loathing I felt for that. Funny how one day can affect so much. One day can change everything. One day, and you lose your best friend. One day, and she's married to your worst enemy instead of you. I remember how I'd tried to hard to make her forgive me. I did everything. I begged her, even. I wanted her back so much. Why had I done it? To have friends? Half the boys I used to hang out with are gone now, Deatheaters, some dead. To think, I was so desperate to join him, and he was the one who killed her. Because of him, I have no more Lily.

Rain pattered hard against the window, the sky dark and endlessly black, like my heart. I never thought something could hurt so much. I opened the window, sticking my head out to the cold water, falling on me like tiny daggers. Every memory I ever felt for her, every feeling I ever felt for her, came back to me. I let out a loud cry, I cried out her name, louder than I'd ever cried it out before. I had not called her name out like this since…that day. The day she said she was going to marry Potter. It was raining too. I remember it. I ran after her, calling her name. Lily…

"Lily! Lily!" I ran fast, catching up with her in a matter of moments. "It's not true. Please tell me it's not true."

"Leave me alone, Severus. I'm marrying James, and that's it!"

"But you hated him! How are you going to marry someone you hate?!"

"I don't hate James!" her voice shook. "Just go.''

I stood in front of her, glad it was raining, glad she couldn't see I was crying. I shook my head. "You can't, Lily…"

"Oh with this again!? You telling me what I can, and can't do? I have barely talked to you since we left school, Severus, and you know why! Let me be happy and just leave me alone!" she dropped her umbrella, eyes staring at me with pleading and anger. "Please," she added softly. "Just…"

"Go," I finished for her. "Fine, I'll go. I'm sorry, Lily, sorry for everything I did and didn't do…"

I walked off and left her there. I didn't even care. Potter would come and take care of her. Potter would wrap his arms around her. Potter would tell her to come inside and stop being foolish. Potter would do all the things I always dreamt to do. Potter was going to be able to go to bed at night knowing she was right there, and wake up with her right beside him. He would see her every day, every night, all the time. The thought killed me. He did not deserve her. No one really deserved her. She was priceless.

Pulling my head from the window, soaking wet, I wiped my eyes hastily, slamming the window shut. I knew Dumbledore would have something to say about the way I'd acted but it didn't matter. Nothing he did would ever come close to making me feel the pain I felt the day she died. Four years ago my already maimed heart had broken into a million pieces, and I knew I would not get them back again.

I walked back towards the dungeons and stayed there, hearing as the Slytherin students came down, laughing and talking animatedly, forgetting the fact my beloved Lily had died today. I hated them all for it, I hated the whole school for forgetting. Remembering was the only way to keep Lily alive.

They will pay for forgetting something so important.

A/N: Okay, so yeah, it was angsty again, even if I tried to tone it down, I don't think I did a good job. XD Review please! I'd be happy if you did!!