Chapter 2
--Next Morning--
Kai sat back in a chair in his kitchen, kicking the chair back on its two hind legs and balancing perfectly, a mug of coffee in hand as he stared at the ceiling. For most of the night before that he was meant to spend sleeping it was spent worrying about his younger friend. He kept wondering if something was in fact still wrong with him, wondering if he should say something to him, some sort of words of support even though he clearly didn't want to hear them. He tried to convince himself that Tala was old enough to know that Kai would help him if he needed anything, and that Tala would come wake him if he was even upset. Though he couldn't help that nagging feeling at his heart which said that Tala was holding far too much back and was keeping a lot to himself.
With little left to do, Kai made Tala a cup of coffee and taking it up to the boy's room; a little curious to see if Tala had woken up yet. Arriving there, Tala in fact was still sound asleep, lying on his stomach with pillows supporting his apparently-bruised and sliced up torso. Kai had heard from Mr. Dickinson of the many serious injuries that Tala's body had sustained in the recent evens, which got the elder Russian to be able to understand the redhead's sleeping positions.
He set the cup of steaming hot coffee on the nightstand; running his hand gently through Tala's hair and not waiting long enough for him to stir before leaving the bedroom again. Since Tala was out of his way and didn't make any difference to the plans he had, he sat back on the sofa and flipped through TV stations looking for something good to watch. The icy snow outside fell down far too quickly and even the ground in his garden was layered with plenty of it which made practice too difficult to even try.
Long silent hours passed by and Tala still made no appearance downstairs whatsoever. Kai had gone to his small library to look for some books, walking back through the hall to the living room when Tala was seen walking down the stairs with, taking tiny wary steps as he held tightly onto the banister. "Hey…" Kai tried, hesitant.
"Hey…" Tala got to the bottom of the stairs.
"Have you been asleep this whole time?" Kai asked, bringing Tala to follow him into the living room.
"It took a few hours to get to sleep." He said, exhaling quietly, "Thanks for the coffee this morning by the way."
Kai beckoned him to sit down beside him on the sofa, watching him do so before turning to him, "Stupid question ahead; how are you feeling?"
Tala glanced at him, "How should I be feeling?"
"Tala," Kai began, almost biting out the name with frustration.
"What do you really want me to say, Kai? How honest do you want me to be?" Tala asked with a defeated smirk, standing back up in a hurry, glaring down, "You want me to tell you about how I can't stand even breathing anymore? You want me to tell you how every muscle and bone in my body is aching with a kind of pain I wish I never felt? You want me to tell you about how I think I've reached my limit? I feel like my body can't keep up with my mind anymore. My head hurts really bad, and all the time…and my stitches are stinging…my skin is on fire. I can't stand thinking, I can't stand dreaming, I can't stand feeling this way." That's when he fell, right into Kai's arms when he'd stood up upon seeing him wavering, his focus fading out and his voice shaking.
One hand went across the boy's shoulders, and Kai's other hand went to touch the boy's heaving chest before dragging both of them back onto the sofa with Tala on his side and across Kai's legs. The eldest turned him over as best he could, watching his facial expression as he gasped quietly for breath. "Tala," Kai shook him slightly, watching him stir a little quicker, "Sit up." He tugged the boy up into a seated position, getting him to use his arm as a pillow, "You're still not well, and this is over exerting yourself."
"I can't take it anymore, Kai."
Kai hushed him, brushing his hands through the boy's hair and trying to soothe his aching mind and body. "Best thing is to not think about it for now."
"I can't, Kai." Now Tala's repetition of his friend's name was to be able to force himself to remember the person, to make sure that he didn't forget something good. Kai needed to be a reminder to him right now, a good reminder, something to keep him safe.
"Stay still for now; moving around is what just did this to you, you need to stay still." Kai got off the sofa to allow the boy to lie down comfortably, "I'll make you some tea." And so Kai did just that for his best friend, making him a cup of tea and leaving it on the coffee table in front of him while Kai sat and kept a close eye on him to make sure that nothing else happened. Tala was shaking, probably from the cold that had fallen onto the living room. Kai hadn't noticed that the room was getting colder earlier when he was watching TV, having been so focused on a documentary and so curled up on the warm sofa that he never really felt it.
Tala was a different story though. Despite his years in Russia his body was still so sensitive to the cold that stepping out onto the snow would probably paralyze him. Now with the many blood transfusions he'd went through within the past few days or so, his body was only more prone to the icy cold of the winter. After the eldest wrapped Tala up in some blankets and kept in a daze just lying there, he was left alone for about an hour; stuck staring pointlessly at the television were some TV show was stuck on mute. His arms and almost every muscle in his body were so overwrought that he couldn't move them far enough to reach the remote without hurting himself. He was quite enjoying the crisp warmth in between Kai's soft sofa and the wool blankets, then Kai walked back into the room and he could see just a slight flicker of concern shining beneath those usually stone-cold crimson eyes.
"I called Mr. Dickinson to ask when you should be going back to the hospital for a check-up and to remove the stitches," He instigated, sitting down on the coffee table and watching him, "he said he wouldn't know but that you probably would. I need to make an appointment; it's the holidays after all so looking for a doctor might be difficult."
Tala huffed and resisted the urge to roll over and risk hurting himself, "I need to have the stitches removed in a day to two days. I've got my medical file upstairs that I need to show to the doctor. Remind me?"
"Sure." He moved to sit on the sofa, closer to his friend, "As you probably remember, I really can't cook so we'll need to order-in for dinner, what do you want to eat?"
"I don't know, I'm not even hungry."
"You've got to be hungry, Tal, you didn't have dinner last night, no breakfast or lunch today either."
Tala sat up, pulling the long blankets over his shoulders and holding them tighter to him. "I just want to go to bed right now, Kai. I…"
"Tala, I already told you; I'm here so that you could feel better. Only you know what's going to make you feel better and…stupidly enough I'm not going to stand in your way."
The younger found this attitude of his friend just a little surprising. He knew well enough that the attitude that Kai always had with him was much more different than that one that he used with his friends but still, this much kindness and cautiousness was new to him. Although, Tala couldn't quite say that this kindness or cautiousness was unwanted, in fact thinking that it was probably what he needed the most at the moment. Kai had tried his very best to be understanding, still Kai never went through the traumatic experience himself so he didn't know how Tala felt. He'd explained to Kai quite enough for the eldest to realize that Tala was not okay, and will in no way be okay for some time. After the breakdown, Tala couldn't help but feel that the bigger breakdown was a lot closer and had yet to arrive. Today at least.
The eldest guided him back to the bed and down onto it, briefly leaving his side to close the door again. As he stepped to the bed again he found the younger lying curled up on his side, unmoving. Suppressing a sigh he lay down behind him, gently encircling the slim waist and tugging him backwards a bit, and propping himself up on his elbow to get hold of the blanket and tug it up a bit.
Upon glancing down his heart sank painfully in his chest seeing mute tears streaming down from underneath the tightly shut eyelids and briefly, Kai closed his own up to the point of pain as well, brows furrowing into a sorrowful expression as he harshly bit down on his lip to suppress his own tears, the very air getting caught inside his ribcage in a hitch of a mute, dry, smothered sob. Silently breathing out deeply he bent down to brush his lips against the cheek of the younger once more before pillowing his head onto the cushion. Tugging the blanket up to cover both of them up to his face, his arm returned to its rightful place around Tala's slender waist, pressing his silently crying friend as close as it was humanly possible and stilling completely.
"When two people cry together for the first time they understand how much they love each other." – Emile Deschamps.
There was nothing he could do but be there and share the grief of his life-long friend trying to offer whatever support he was capable of giving. Even as hour after hour passed he knew Tala was crying still, despite that he never made a sound. Kai could simply feel it with every occasional, ever so slight tremble going through the lithe body in his hold causing him to tighten his grip time and time again to assure him he was right there with him, right there by his side. He wouldn't be leaving him alone, not now and not ever and together, they would manage to get over this trauma.
And even though he wasn't hearing any of it, just by the way of Kai's touches and the soft nuzzling of his nape every now and then Tala knew it all without a single spoken word. And he was glad, glad beyond imaginable having the elder here with him while trying to understand, work up and cope with the pain and horror experienced, knowing he would have never been able to do so on his own. The silent, bitter flow of his tears couldn't be stopped but the soothing presence of his beloved close to him was easing the agony and suffering considerably. What Boris had done to him…it all was far too much but now he was safe. He remembered; remembered resenting the hospital for informing Mr. Dickinson of what happened…resenting Mr. Dickinson himself for making Tala go to Japan to be with Kai where he'd be safe and cared for. Now he understood, he understood it all; he understood the good it had done to the whole of him. He had broken down about this incident before…every night in that hospital room, though each time all by himself. The worst part was that the nurses had noticed him crying, but with his silence, who could know for sure? Though, why didn't they check on him? Why didn't they offer words of comfort? Why didn't they do anything for him?
Was needing help really as bad as he thought? As difficult as he thought? Had Boris been right when he said that all humans were heartless? If that were true, then why did Kai treat him so well? Why did Mr. Dickinson care for him as though he were his own child? Why were some people so hell bent on keeping him safe, yet there were so many out there that were more than willing to destroy him? That there were so many out there that would hold back care for someone in his situation? He knew he himself would not treat a person the way other people treated him but was that because he went through the experience itself? If he hadn't experienced it, would it have made him as heartless as anyone else? They say experiences entirely define who you are, is that true?
After more hours of lying that way, both fell into their deep sleeps. Tala seemed somewhat peaceful, while Kai was relatively uncomfortable in that position but just continued to sleep for a while longer. Awaking, it was about two in the morning, grumbling to himself that dinner was now out of the question for the both of them. There was no way Tala would be able to go back to sleep if he ate now and Kai was sure that the take out place had long closed. Looking at his friend's tear-stained expression for another time, he didn't have the heart to let go of him and go back to his own bedroom, instead just lying there and hoping he'd fall asleep again or that Tala would allow him to go to his room where he'd be more comfortable.
Kai even found his own care for his friend a little surprising. He didn't think he could ever be this caring for anyone but from the moment he got that phone call he was determined to be the best friend he could possibly be. His standard of being a best friend was what his own friend's taught him. It was time to push the life lessons that Boris had drilled into his brain aside. What that man had taught him was no longer going to be any part of him, especially when it came to Tala. If there had been anything that he knew he was going to do, it was that he couldn't mirror anything that Boris did; knowing well enough that whatever he did could either get Tala to trust him, or could get Tala to fear him, the latter being something he didn't wish to receive.
A/N: Second chapter of my new fic. I'm almost done with having written the whole story so updates should be quite frequent from now on. Please keep reviewing, letting me know what you think of my work. I'd really appreciate it.