Author's Note: A couple of announcements this week. First of all, I'm back on my personal laptop. Guys I'm so frickin' happy about this. Also, I've decided to change the upload time to Thursday afternoons or evenings. And finally, I've been asked about the possibility of covering Total DramaRama in the Randomverse. Now knowing that that's an AU of the Total Drama continuity I'm thinking that if I do this, I can include scenes and/or chapters about the cast later in life. I also have a preliminary cast set up; Duncan, Gwen, Harold, Jude, Kitsune, Leshawna, Malcolm, Noah, Scarlett, Victor, Zoey. So let me know your thoughts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And to answer some reviews:
Guest #1: Sorry to disappoint you with Victor not making the merge. I really like the idea of the reuniting. Of course some of the less liked All-Stars are going to be trouble. I'm not surprised to hear you rooting for those three, they were quite popular last season. I meant to say 'crunching' it's almost word for word to something Bridgette said in canon.
Derick Lindsey: I'm not surprised you were so close to getting them all right. I kinda had it set up from day one like that. Honestly, I forgot about Noah when I was making that list. I'll add in why I didn't choose him later but basically everyone in canon talks about choosing to come back and since I made it clear that Noah doesn't want to compete that he couldn't be in this season. The Fang scene was random, your review was when I first noticed that it was the Final Four. This version of Scarlett I think has a lot in common with Cody. A hint for the thing that happened: it actually happened in between seasons 2 and 3, but it wasn't discovered until before season 5. I could see myself doing that in a later chapter, but right now it's not quite going to work considering where I'm going with the two. And I'm back to once a week.
That British Guy:That's pretty high praise, let's hope I can keep you feeling that way. I did consider ScarlettxSierra in World Tour, but considering Sierra was previously crushing on Harold it just seemed... weird. But I'm hoping I can get you guys as excited for Scarlody as I am. And since I might not get into it in other bonus clips, Victor set it up with the producers to use one of his family's hotels as the season's Playa des Losers. It's not that odd you considered Zeke for this season, he was supposed to be in this season before I changed it at the last minute. You have interesting predictions, and I seriously didn't notice that thing with the finalists.
TheChrisanthemum: Thanks! I'm really glad you liked the cast because I know that was one of the (many) complaints people (myself included) had about the canon season. You wouldn't belive how ticked I was that Justin wasn't going to be there... Anyaway I'm glad your okay both with Victor's inclusion and his elimination. Plus he's wasn't made too dumb to live just to justify it, I hope. As always with your premiere reviews commentiong will give too much away, so all I'll say is I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.
StarHeart Specials: Loving the enthusiasm. Yeah, it's great going back to the original cast. It's probably just as well Sierra didn't make the cut. I don't think I would've gotten away with her being the first boot. While I'm not too sure how exactly Scarlody will go, it will end on a better note than Scourtney. And Zoey's tarot card skills aren't good enough to pick up on disasters of that scale. Yeah, even the villains aren't too happy with Chris putting Mike on their team. And their villains.. I don't think being without Zoey is too much of a hindrance for him though.
Shrimpimp: Scarlett was a bit of a wild card this season. But I think she's earned her place as both an All-Star and a hero. Even if she's more of an anti-hero. I didn't see it either when I first saw them paired in a fic, but the two just seem to have a natural chemisrty to me. If it helps, I'm calling them Scarlody. Yeah, that was probably a dead giveaway that Victor was going home, but it's not really a good idea for the first boot to come out of left field. And you have a sound logic for your predictions, but not being able to trust goes for all the Vultures other than Mike.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! And I do have my old laptop back.
Guest #2: Okay, so I don't really speak Spanish and used google to translate your review. So I'm sorry if my reply seems a little off. I'm glad you liked it and you like Kitsune coming back. Sorry, but I have no interest in pairing Natasha with anyone. However, one could say that CodyxScarlett could qualify as Scourtney 2.0 (boy from Revenge of the Island and Girl from the original cast.) I will say you're not the first one to think Noah and Lily would be a couple, and I can see it. But I do plan on doing a Ridonculous Race and I want to keep NoahxEmma going. That is all I can talk about though, so I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.
Piecesxoxo: I'm glad you like the cast. And it wouldn't be Chris if he wasn't acting like a jerk.
Remaining All-Stars:
Heroic Hamsters: Angel, Bridgette, Cody, Kitsune, Lightning, Scarlett
Villainous Vultures: Alejandro, Heather, Jo, Lily, Matthew, Mike, Natasha
It's only the second episode, but let's see what our All-Stars can dig up.
Episode 02: Evil Dread
"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris opened, the series's capstone theme opening up over a shot of Wawanakwa Island. "I welcomed the All-Stars to the newly decontaminated island," the host said, the recap montage starting off with Victor's belly flop from the helicopter into the cluster of other campers in the lake below, and Chris watching the resulting splash from the dock.
"Then, it was Heroes versus Villains," the thirteen teens were shown washed up on shore, then standing with their new teammates – first the Hamsters, then the Vultures, "diving into shark-infested waters," Cody and Lily jumped off the cliff only to be confronted by Fang and his two non-mutant companions, "in search of the one key," the cynic was shown picking a large black key up from the sandy lake bed, "that would open the door to the all-new McLean Spa Hotel, for winners only!" The large, high-class building adorned was shown from the outside first, before the camera cut inside to a luxurious room with Greek columns and pictures of the island and host lining the walls, a comfortable modern-looking arm chair standing next to a massage table, and a small polar bear skin rug lying on a fine red carpet before a wood-burning stove.
"Thanks to Heather's attitude," the queen bee was shown pushing Alejandro away from her and in doing so knocking the robot towards the cliff edge, "we learned that inside every robot beats the heart of a hipster." The robot landed in the lake and was attacked by the shark trio, causing it to explode and reveal Matthew to the other contestants. "In this case, Matthew. Unfortunately, even though the Heroes had an early lead," Victor was shown excitedly pushing his teammates one-by-one, getting more tired until he looked exhausted when pushing Scarlett, "it was Victor who cost them their lead and the challenge and Matthew who won it for the Villains," Chris finished as the hipster was shown celebrating, and the whole team was shown cheering in the Peanut Gallery at the elimination ceremony.
"And so it was no surprise that the Heroic Hamsters bid farewell to one of their most kindhearted members," Angel was shown receiving the final marshmallow of the night to Victor's acceptance, "via our newest and most humiliating com-mode of transportation!" The recap cut to the Flush of Shame with the season's first loser already inside it; his former teammates cringed in disgust, Chris pressed the button on his remote, and Victor was flushed away. "The Flush of Shame!"
"Who will be next to pop through the pooper?" the host asked the camera after the montage cut away to him and Chef on the dock. "Find out, right now, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"
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[Though the overall sequence had been shortened for the season, it opens much the same as it has previously – a shift into letterbox format and a focus on the tops of some distant pines. A stage light, sleek and shining with a price tag still attached, rotates up and turns on; then the focus cuts to an angled shot of a different group of trees as a spotlight, also shiny and new, swings down and turns on; then a small video camera pops out of some burrow next to a spray bottle of some cleaning solution, knocking away a roll of paper towels as it emerges; then a second camera pops out of a tree hollow along with a scrub brush, bar of soap, sponge, and a load of soap bubbles. Pale arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, cutting the scene to the Dock of Shame. The camera flies forward, swinging past the Wawanakwa sign and then the final few posts of the dock, rising up to show the spa hotel as Chris and Chef landed their red helicopter in the common area.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera flies past the helicopter and up the thousand-foot cliff, cresting the peak and diving into the lake below, where Angel plays tug-of-war with Heather over a large treasure chest while the Drama Machine sits and sparks nearby, both girls in their swimsuits.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[Angel and Heather set the chest down and to their shock it bursts open to reveal not only a cloud of bubbles and the Mike-onut and several McLean Invincibility Statues, but also a twitching and awkwardly-folded Cody who floats up in his swim trunks alongside the wooden heads. The Drama Machine explodes and the shot cuts to a small patch of bubbles on the surface, then zooms out to show the remaining swim-dressed campers lined up according to their teams – the villains holding red dueling sticks on the left on a wooden raft, a hollowed-out log, another wooden raft, and a green canoe; the heroes holding gold dueling sticks on the right on an inflatable raft, a wooden raft, another inflatable one, and a red canoe. The camera zooms in and moves between them as they clash – vicious Jo against hesitant Victor; smug Alejandro shoving away shocked Bridgette with one hand; Natasha ducking from Kitsune's strike and causing her to fall into the lake; Mike, as Vito, brutally thrusting the end of his dueling stick into Scarlett's stomach; and Lily and Lightning angrily slamming their sticks against one another; Matthew falls from the sky and into the lake, dousing the former almost-couple and the camera.]
[The water dries away from the camera lens showing the campfire and Cody and Scarlett leaning in with eager smiles against the full moon...only for Kitsune to suddenly pop up between them with a cheesy grin, causing the two geniuses to look away with blushes. The camera zooms out further, revealing the other cast members sitting on the stumps around the fire – Angel, Lily, Bridgette, Lightning, Matthew, and Victor on the left; Mike, Alejandro, Heather, Natasha, and Jo on the right. The zoom continues even further, showing the signboard over the firepit's entrance which now read 'Total Drama All-Stars', with the dash replaced by a star.]
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A short, dull note opened the episode as the camera zoomed slightly towards the losers' cabin, a red bird flying in front of it as a yawn filled the air. The scene cut inside to show Lightning stretching his arms and sitting up in his top bunk along the left wall, then crack his back and rub it in irritation. "Sha-danged crappy bed," he complained. "How did Lightning last as long as he did sleepin' on these?"
"I know," Cody chimed in, the camera panning across to show him lying in the other top bunk. "And knowing there's a spa hotel just a few feet away makes it worse. But I'm looking on the bright side."
"Which is?" Lightning asked, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and sliding down to the floor. The creaky thump of his landing made both boys wince.
"That Jo screwed herself out of it," Cody smiled as he slid down to the floor.
"You gotta point there Smart Guy," Lightning said, flicking away a large red mosquito as it landed on his arm.
\
The shot cut to the left front window of the cabin as the mosquito smacked against it, and the camera panned to the right onto the door to the girls' half of the building. It faded inside to show Angel just waking up with a yawn and a smile, then hop down to the floor to show her in a long white night gown.
"Good morning Bridgey-bear," she said, the camera zooming out to show Bridgette sitting in the bunk below the one Angel had vacated.
"Good morning Angelfish," the surfer replied, the two sharing a chaste kiss and smile that turned mildly embarrassed when a familiar giggling filled the room.
"You two are so sickeningly sweet, I'm gonna get a cavity rooming with you," Kitsune told them as she walked over to them. The still sleepy mutterings of their fourth roommate got the attention of the three girls and the camera.
"That's a fascinating device Cody," Scarlett muttered with a smile. "I have goosebumps."
The shot cut back to the awake girls as they all let out an 'Awww'.
XXX
"I'm really diggin the newbies on my team," Kitsune told the outhouse. "Bridgette and Angel are so dang cute it should be illegal and Cody reminds me of the little brother I always wanted. Lightning's straddling that line between funny and annoying, but I do too so I can see us getting along," she added with a shrug.
XXX
Scarlett yawned and sat up in her bunk, and immediately noticed the looks being shot her way. "Why are you all staring at me like that?"
"Room service, suckas!" Chef suddenly called out, drawing the attention of all four heroes and the camera to the cabin door as a bucket of gruel was shot through it as though by a cannon.
The girls screamed, with Kitsune adding "What the heck Chef?" as gruel splattered the walls, the bucket bounced back to the front of the room, and a sharp and dramatic tune played.
"Heeeeere's breakfast!" Chef told them, sticking his head through the hole in the door and cackling darkly as he pulled it back out.
"Thank you Chef!" Angel said sweetly, the shot panning back to show her wiping the gruel off her face and stuffing it in her mouth.
Scarlett growled in annoyance and wiped the gruel off her face as well, but merely let it slide off her hand. "We must win the next challenge and get into that spa hotel!" she declared before the sound of eating drew her attention downward.
An odd tune played as the camera moved to Kitsune scooping gruel up off the floor. "Man," she said after stuffing it into her mouth and grimacing, "this stuff tastes worse than those bull testicles first season..."
Scarlett raised an eyebrow in disbelief, Bridgette gagged, and Angel just smiled uncomfortably.
\
The scene cut back outside the losers' cabin, and as the opening bars of a classical music piece began to play the camera panned to the spa hotel. "Now this is the life," Natasha said in delight before the shot cut inside to him and Mike sitting at opposite ends of a long covered dining table. Four more high-backed red-cushioned chairs sat on the far side of the table between the two, and exactly three fancy glass chandeliers were hanging overhead. The five windows along the back wall were lined with fine maroon drapes, and off to the left side was another table bearing several large fruits and other breakfast foods. "I think I might buy this place once I win the million!" the mastermind said after swallowing another of his sausages. "I woke up at five to watch the releasing of the doves," he added as the camera cut out to show an elderly white butler laying another plate filled with sausages and fruit on the table in front of the chair next to him. "It almost made me believe in the inherent goodness of man."
"Yeah, this is the kind of treatment a genius like me deserves," Matthew said as he sat down next to Natasha. His clothes and hair were looking back to normal, and he was once again clean-shaven, but he now sported an eye patch over his right eye. "And as long as we keep the dead weight focused on the game we'll get it all season."
"I like the way you think," Natasha told him, the two boys clinking their juice glasses together as an eerie organ tune played. "What's wrong with you Mike?"
"What isn't wrong with him?" Matthew replied under his breath.
"Huh?" the comedian said in a distracted tone, looking up at the mastermind. "Just thinking about what Jo's doing on Boney Island."
\
A bolt of lightning flashed across a sky filled with dark clouds, an ominous tune beginning as the camera panned down to a close up of the jock-ette in question. She seemed to be looking down at something with a look of concentration, her eyes moving back and forth. The viewpoint moved back a ways to show Jo perched atop a rock jutting out of a small bay, a stick raised at the ready.
A catfish swam by through the water, and when it leaped into the air Jo whacked it with her stick. It flew across the water and landed on the beach, and the jock-ette smirked. "Hah! I knew surviving here would be easy!" she bragged...before to her surprise one of the island's monstrous native geese flew past her.
It landed on the sand and lifted the fish in its bill, only for Jo to immediately land next to it. "Gimme that fish back!" she said, grabbing her breakfast fish by the tail. She and the bird entered a tug-of-war over it, with Jo getting the upperhand first, only for the goose to flap its wings and drag her back to the left. But after they went off-screen again the sounds of a struggle ensued, and moments later Jo walked back into view with fish in hand.
"Stupid bird," she said. "They're all a bunch of wusses. Let's see, I might not have time to cook this...," she said before a growl caught her attention and she looked back to see a bear sitting next to her. "Bring it on you overgrown tacky rug," she said with a smirk.
The footage skipped ahead to show her running from a trio of bears and screaming.
\
"I've been on a team with Jo," Lily said, the scene cutting from the bears to the cynic skewering a sausage with her fork. "And trust me when I say she is not the kind of person you want to have an immunity idol."
"The same thing could be said about the majority of us," Natasha told her, pointing his fork in her direction. "But I do agree that Jo should not be allowed to be that powerful."
"Then why not throw the next challenge?" Matthew suggested, narrowing his eye. "Vote her off and get the idol out of play."
"And give up all this?" Lily asked incredulously as she gestured around her. "Not gonna happen."
"Good point," the hipster conceded. "This was the first night in a year that I fell asleep without passing out due to exhaustion. That robot suit didn't do anything good for my circadian rhythm."
"Yeah," Lily said dryly. "I don't care so I'm going to ignore you now."
\
The scene cut to the parlor that had been shown in the episode's introduction and recap, with Heather sitting in the arm chair with her feet up on a stool and Alejandro lying shirtless face-down on the massage table while the pony-tailed female intern gave a hacking tapotement to his back.
"Quit hogging the masseuse!" Heather complained.
"First come, first serve," Alejandro replied, his tone suggesting a smirk.
"What was that the rule when you dated Faith before flirting with me?" the queen bee asked angrily.
The charmer sighed. "Yes, there was a time period between the second and third season that Kitsune and I were a couple," he said, lifting his head and propping himself up on his folded arms. Heather was taken aback by his appearance – he seemed to have had strips of paper placed over his eyebrows. "But we mutually agreed that we were better as friends."
"And when were you planning on telling me huh?" Heather asked angrily. "I had to find out on Stalker Girl's blog and-wait...," she leaned closer to him and squinted, "are you getting your eyebrows waxed? Wow."
"They call it manscaping," Alejandro defended "because it is very manly." He suddenly grew angry. "And maybe I didn't tell you because it's not as big a deal as you're making it! I flirted with everyone to get ahead!"
"Well how am I supposed to feel with you always hanging around your ex?" Heather asked.
"If you still don't trust me after all this time," Alejandro said seriously, "then I see no reason to work with you."
"Fine!" Heather said, crossing her arms and turning away.
"Fine!" Alejandro replied.
XXX
"Puh-lease," Heather mocked in the confessional. "This 'Why don't you trust me?' routine is just a bogus act to make me apologize and be the one who begs him to go out. Well newsflash! I am not falling for him." Her eyes widened and she hastily corrected "It! Not falling for it!" Her eyes nervously darted around the outhouse.
XXX
"Heather is still the radiant beauty she has always been," Alejandro confessed. "Her glossy locks, her perma-frown, the way the light catches the hair on her upper lip when she yells at me. I know she's not as upset with me as she pretends to be. It's all an act to make me come begging her for a date. But I have the patience of a cocodrilo. A devilishly handsome cocodrilo. I will not break before she does," he said confidently... before his eyes widened and he started to look nervous.
XXX
"Attention, campers!" Chris announced over the camp's loudspeakers. "Iiiiiiiit's challenge time!" The shot cut back to the massage parlor. "Get your hineys down to the beach, pronto!" Heather and Alejandro and even the intern massaging him all looked up.
"Great," Heather spat. "Now I don't get to enjoy the masseuse."
"Her hands were truly magical," Alejandro said with a grin that made the intern blush... before she winced as Heather kicked the charmer in the groin.
\
The scene cut to the sparkling lake, the camera rotating up to show the beach as the team logos spun into place on either side of the screen – Heroes on the left, Villains on the right. Both teams were assembling themselves on raised circular platform, the highest and widest parts being in their respective colors. A line had been made down the center of the sand using rocks, and at the far end of the line was a covered platform raised up on wooden stilts. Chris could just be made out standing within it.
Lily hauled herself up to the Villains' platform and sent a tentative wave toward Lightning. The uber-jock, however, merely frowned, and looked away, earning a hung head from Lily.
"Ooh, somebody's invisible," Chris taunted. "Harsh! This is why TV romance is never a good idea." The shot cut over him, revealing that he'd added a red beret and ascot to his usual outfit, as well as sunglasses.
He looked to the side, and the music became strangely hollow yet still triumphant as the old Boat of Losers drove by with Jo on the back; the jock-ette leaped from the ship, flipped through the air, and landed easily on the Villainous Vultures' platform.
"So," Natasha said. "Did you find the statue?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the jock-ette suspiciously, her arms crossed as Natasha leveled a glare at her.
XXX
"Yes I would like to know Jo," Natasha griped in the confessional. "That's why I asked! What was I thinking helping her get as far as she did?"
XXX
"I'm stronger than Silent Treatment, Dye Job, Loser McLatin, Hagther, Robo-Dork, and Multiple Mike combined," Jo told the outhouse. "It doesn't matter if I find the statue or not because if they wanna win, they better keep me on."
XXX
"Bonjour, mes campers!" Chris opened in a pathetic attempt at a French accent, spreading his arms wide. "Some of you will recall our season three Parisian 'find and build a sculpture' debacle."
"Not all of it," Mike said warily. Matthew huffed and rolled his eye.
"Well, this time," Chris continued, ignoring the interruption as the camera cut outward and panned from the back of the heroes to the back of the villains, "our interns have buried 3d puzzle pieces all over the beach, seven pieces per team." The shot cut back to his booth. "Find all your pieces and assemble them on your platform to recreate one of the landmarks visited on our World Tour. First to finish wins."
As he spoke, the shot cut to the Heroes as they looked at one another.
"Since the Villainous Vultures won the first challenge," Chris explained as the shot moved back to him, "they get to dig with shovels! INCOMING!" He raised a hand and called out, he camera cutting down to Chef on the back of the old Boat of Losers in his pilot's uniform. He tossed seven shovels towards the chosen team, and the shot followed them spinning through the air before they reached their targets. Jo and Natasha on the left end of the line caught theirs easily enough, but Heather shrieked and closed her eyes and drew her hands close to her body, leaving Mike to catch the next shovel. Matthew was less lucky, with the fourth shovel's blade smacking into his face as he caught it by the handle, and Lily also cried out in panic at the tool that was hurtling towards her, but Alejandro caught it before she was hit.
"For you chica," he told her, handing the shovel over with a smile that was met with a raised eyebrow and a flat note in the music. Alejandro reached over his shoulders with both arms to catch the last two shovels as Heather walked over.
"Shovel please," Heather said rudely.
"Surely someone as radiant as yourself shouldn't waste time digging in the sand?" Alejandro replied smoothly. The camera cut to Lily as she winced at the sound of something metallic, and followed Heather as she walked by with a slightly dented shovel. The shot followed her gave to a groaning Alejandro, with the imprint of a shovel visible on his face.
"Hey!" Kitsune exclaimed in annoyance, walking to the right across her team's platform with her hands crossed. "Where are our shovels?" She blindly walked off the platform and land on her belly in the sand. Before she could say anything, the sand under her collapsed into a deep moat, sucking her down with a startled cry.
"Aaaaand, getting on and off your platforms will be challenging, due to the moats," Chris explained as the camera panned back right across the Heroes' moat. The shot then cut to the Villains' platform as Jo reached her shovel down and poked the ground with a wary look, the sand promptly collapsing with a puff. "That are filled with-" Chris began to continue before another scream from Kitsune cut him off.
"Aaaaahhh! What's with all the crabs?!" she asked, scrambling up to the top of her team's moat as several red crabs jumped and snapped around her, landing on her back and dragging her back down into the pit.
Chris laughed. "I don't know why, but it gets funnier every time," he said.
"It's not like we can't just jump over the moats," Matthew told his team condescendingly, jumping off the Villains' platform...and getting hit by a spring-loaded plank of wood that popped up the moment he landed and knocked him backwards into the moat. More crabs leaped up and snapped their claws as he cried out in pain, and the camera panned upwards to show all his teammates looking down without a lot of sympathy.
"Aaaand, ya might wanna watch out for booby traps in the sand," Chris added impishly.
"So...what are we supposed to dig with anyway?" Cody asked on behalf of his teammates.
"Sorry, but shovels are for winners only," Chris answered. He laughed again. "I guess you'll have to use hands. Your challenge starts, NOW!" he called out in a booming voice, raising and blowing his airhorn as the music rose sharply into something almost grand and blaring.
\
The camera looked up from below as the Heroic Hamsters formed a six-person circle. "So," Kitsune started slowly, "I'm thinking we should divide the beach into six areas and everybody pick one. Anyone got anything better?"
The perspective rotated to put Scarlett on the bottom of the screen instead of Kitsune. "Well," the brainiac said, "It would be better to split the beach into quadrants so our less physically capable members can team up on a quadrant."
Cody smiled, and the perspective rotated again to put him on the bottom. "So who's gonna team up with who?" the geek asked. "And who's gonna be by themselves?"
"How about I team up with Bridgette and Cody and Scarlett team up together?" Angel suggested another perspective rotation putting her and Bridgette on the bottom. "And Lightning and Kitsune could be by themselves?"
"Fine by me," Kitsune nodded. "Okay guys, let's get digging."
"Sha-woo! Go team hero!" Lightning exclaimed, putting his hand in the center of the circle where it was quickly joined by Cody, Bridgette, Angel, Kitsune, with Scarlett hesitantly looking away.
"That means you too Scarlett," Bridgette told her, the brainiac smiling and adding her hand a moment later.
XXX
"It wasn't a cruel jest," Scarlett said with a soft smile. "The rest of the heroes really do consider me one of them."
XXX
"Strategy people!" Jo shouted, already standing on the beach. "Stra! Te! Gy!" The music turned light and plodding and the camera cut outward, showing Heather and Matthew standing next to her and the other villains scattered around nearby digging in the sand with their shovels. "We should start from one end and dig to the other in a straight line."
"And what if all the pieces are at the other end huh huh?" Heather retorted. "We need two lines that push toward the center. Right guys?"
"As to be expected, you're both wrong," Matthew told them with an eye roll. "Obviously the best thing to do is to split the beach into six sections with one person ferrying the pieces to the platform as we find them."
"That won't work either," Heather complained. "What if one section doesn't have any pieces?"
"Are you gonna complain or are you gonna listen to me?" Matthew asked.
The shot cut to Natasha rolling his eyes.
XXX
"I don't know what Hagther and the One-Eyed Wonder think they're doing trying to take command," Jo said. "I've led my team to victory more times than they have."
XXX
"Okay," Mike said, "how did Jo make it as far as she did last season? She makes Matthew look like Victor!"
XXX
"The others might not think much of me now," the hipster said, leaning against the outhouse wall with his leg up on the seat, "but I won't let that stop me. This season not only am I gonna win, but I'm gonna use the money to buy this stupid island and make Chris watch as I burn it to the ground as payback for leaving me in that robot for a year!" He delved into maniacal laughter, the outhouse fading into flames against a red background.
XXX
The Hamsters' logo appeared on-screen as the camera panned across Angel and Bridgette all digging in silence further inland, the background music rising rapidly before cutting off into a soft trill. Zooming back from them showed Lightning looking curiously at a blinking red light at his feet. He poked it, setting off an explosion of clothing that blew him back.
"Ewwww, Chef's dirty laundry!" Chris laughed from his covered box.
Though sitting among the scattered clothing with a slouch hat on his head, Lightning's stunned expression quickly faded into a scowl. "Sha-nasty!" he exclaimed, tearing the hat from his head and leaping to his feet.
"Pret-tay, stin-kay!" Chris added.
Lightning just rolled his eyes, the camera suddenly zooming on him as he spat on his hands and rubbed them together. With another dramatic spike in the music he leaned down and dug through the sand impossibly fast.
The camera panned to the right, showing Cody, Scarlett, and Kitsune digging near the shoreline. "Nothing here," Kitsune said with a frown as she finished her hole. "Any luck on your end guys?"
"Nothing over here," Cody called out as the viewpoint cut to his and Scarlett's quadrant. "What about you Scarlett?"
"Sadly," the brainiac said, climbing out of a hole, "I haven't found anything either."
"Great," Kitsune said, rolling her eyes.
XXX
"I hate these kinds of challenges," the goofball confessed. "It could take hours to find all the pieces."
XXX
"What about you girls?" Kitsune called out as the static cut away. "Find anything?"
"Nothing yet!" Bridgette and Angel called back.
"Sha-found one!" Lightning exclaimed to a short triumphant theme, the shot cutting to him as he pulled a large hunk of what looked like white marble out of a hole in the sand. Though the final statue's shape wasn't immediately discernible from the first piece, it at least appeared to have a square base.
\
"Fine, we'll work in a circular motion towards the center," Heather conceded as the scene flashed back over to her and Jo facing each other near the villains' moat.
"No," Jo countered, "start with the corners and move to the center in zig-zags!"
"Wrong again!" Matthew yelled at them, drawing their attention and causing the camera to zoom out to show him, Mike, Natasha, Lily, and Alejandro digging their holes. "We need to spread out our diggers evenly."
"Some team," Mike muttered under his breath.
"Exactly," Heather said quickly and pleasantly. "A team without a leader is like a horse without a head. It just runs around blind."
Matthew rolled his eye. "Yeah, a horse without a head isn't going to run anywhere."
"And that's why I should be this team's leader," Jo replied.
"No, I should," Heather countered.
"No," Matthew declared as he walked over to the two girls. "I should."
As the three started to argue, Mike's eye twitched. Suddenly he inhaled and hunched over with one eye closed. "What's with all the yellin'?!" Chester asked. "Back in my day we all just dug holes wherever we wanted and liked it!"
"I was wondering how long it'd take for him to show up," Alejandro mused to himself.
The shot cut to Lily rolling her eyes.
XXX
"Yeah," the cynic deadpanned. "Mike's not the only one getting frustrated with this 'team'. Also, don't judge me for what I'm about to do."
XXX
The music turned tense as the scene cut to Lily walking along the beach, the slouch hat Lightning tossed away in hand. She stopped and pursed her lips, and the camera zoomed out to show Chester digging in the sand.
"What do you want?" Chester asked.
"An adventurer," Lily replied placing the hat on his head. Chester inhaled and stood up straight with a smug look on his face. "Okay Manitoba," she said. "We're looking for statue pieces."
Manitoba held out a hand to stop her from talking, then walked three steps to the left and stuck his shovel in the sand, producing a metallic clank. With a wink he dug and picked up a square statue base that looked like it was made from black stone. "G'day Beauty," he said.
"Impressive," Lily told him sincerely.
"I know," Manitoba said, tossing the piece on the villains' platform. "But it looks like the real treasure's right in front of me. Wink wink."
"Oh, I don't think so," Lily told him. She shoved him away from her, causing him to fall backward into the moat with a scream, earning the jumping, snapping ire of the crabs within.
"One booby traps!" Chris said as the series's capstone theme began to play over the sound of Manitoba's pain. "Two puzzle pieces! And two deliciously evil moats. It's still anyone's game, but, it won't be for long. Right here, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode faded back in to the host's close-up. "An hour has passed and the teams are still tied at one-all," he whispered. "Which, raises a pertinent question: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!" The camera pulled back as he screamed, showing most of the campers still digging on the beach.
Both teams immediately started to protest, the heroes focusing on their lack of shovels while the villains complained about the sun and heat.
"Blah blah blah, whine whine," Chris mocked, leaning back in his chair as the music ramped up into a more typical challenge arrangement. "Hurry up! I have dinner plans!"
Natasha was shown walking over to Alejandro, the charmer pausing his dig to look up curiously while the mastermind just smirked. "What can I do for you amigo?"
"Nothing, I just need the girls from my season to be a little paranoid and them thinking I'm allying with you will do it," Natasha explained, earning an impressed look from Alejandro as the mastermind bent down to dig and got hit in the face by another spring-loaded board for his trouble. It sent him tumbling backward and into the villains' moat, the resident crabs quickly pouncing on him.
"Beuno," Alejandro said with a calm smile, lifting a piece from his hole uncaring to his teammate's pained yelps.
The shot cut to it landing on the villains' red platform next to the piece Manitoba had found. "And that's two for the Villains!" Chris announced.
Scarlett was shown next, trying to pry a large half-buried piece out of the sand with her hands while Cody worked on a hole nearby. The camera focused in on him as a click gave him pause, and a sudden and rapid beeping caused him to panic. "Look out!" he cried out, turning and pouncing on Scarlett, taking her to the ground with him. The shot cut in for a close-up of their faces, eyes closed in anticipation of an explosion which came weakly and softly. They opened their eyes, and smiled at each other.
"Sorry about that. I guess it was a dud," Cody said sheepishly. A few dramatic notes played as he looked over his shoulder and the camera zoomed out, revealing a long, thin metal pole that was hooked under his shirt, bent around stiffly, and ended in the hole he'd dug. "Or...not?" Cody said in confusion before the pole's tension peaked and it swung back the other way, carrying the geek along the way. He flew into his teams' moat and landed with a cry, a thud, and the now-familiar chorus of pain and claw-snapping. Scarlett winced.
"Yes! Finally!" Lily said in excitement, lifting another bulky piece of carved black stone from a hole. She started to carry it back towards her team's platform, but suddenly stepped on something that caused a small, low bar to swing up out of the sand and sweep her feet out from under her. She gave a startled yelp as she fell backwards, and groaned as the statue piece she'd been holding landed on her chest.
The camera panned to Heather, who had been digging nearby. "Should've watched your step," she taunted, laughing as she lifted another black statue piece from the ground.
"Sha-bam!" Lightning cheered as the shot cut to him jogging across the sand with a hunk of marble in his arms, "Lightning found a-" He was cut off mid-line when a log suddenly shot out of the ground and caught him between the legs, raising him high off the ground. "-nother one," he finished in a high pitched squeak.
"Nuts?" Chris asked Chef, holding up a bowl of nuts as both men smiled at the uber-jock's pain.
The shot cut to Angel, who was walking towards the Heroes' platform while dragging a statue piece through the sand – one that looked quite like the head of the Statue of Liberty. She stopped and straightened up next to Kitsune and right outside the moat, and together they threw the piece up. It landed easily, and the two girls slapped five. "Thank you for the help," Angel said sweetly.
"No worries," the goofball said, shrugging halfheartedly. "Now let's find the rest of them."
"Sure thing," Angel said with a smile, walking away and humming a tune to herself.
\
A flash put the focus on Matthew as he struggled to haul a piece along by himself. Upon reaching the moat he found Natasha already standing there, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. "Make yourself useful and get this up there for me," Matthew commanded, holding the piece out to him.
He grabbed it. "Whatever you say," he said with a false sweetness before he heaved the piece into the platform.
"Looks like you're not all useless," Matthew commented as he walked away... stepping on something that sent a spring-loaded punching glove into his stomach. He was pushed into Natasha, and the two villains fell into the moat with the now standard chorus of snapping and pained shouts.
\
The shot cut to Lightning and Cody, the two boys digging separate holes near each other. The uber-jock ended up vigorously and thoughtlessly shoveling sand into the geek's face, causing Cody to stumble forward in a fit of blind and hacking coughs. A sudden close-up of his feet showed him stepping on some kind of hidden pressure plate, causing a cannon of all things to pop out of the sand and fire off. Luckily for Cody he was hit with a cartoonish boxing glove rather than an actual cannonball, but it still doubled him over and knocked him to the ground.
Lightning stopped digging at the sound of the impact, and turned a blank look behind him. "Oh, sorry bro," he told his teammate. "Lightning was so in the zone he totally didn't see you!"
Cody just wheezed out a small cloud of sand.
The camera pulled back from them, showing Bridgette and Angel watching from a distance. "Does Lightning seem... edgier than usual?" the idealist asked.
"A little bit," Bridgette answered. "I think he's still mad at Lily about the way she treated him last year."
"But Lily really did have feelings for him!" Angel protested. "She was heartbroken over how things ended."
"I know that," Bridgette admitted. "But Lightning's my friend and she really hurt him. Even if he's too proud to admit it," she added with a roll of her eyes.
Angel sighed. "Just like Lily's too proud to admit that she actually cared for him."
Bridgette shook her head. "If only we could get them to talk to- wait a minute," she began to suggest before noticing something to the side and furrowing her brow. "What's he doing?" she asked, the music becoming tense, soft, and trilling as the camera cut to a shot of the Villains' area from Bridgette's perspective. It was focused in on Matthew, who was standing above a hole near the border between sides. He looked around with a devious expression, then bent down and started filling the hole back up with his hands.
The shot cut in closer as he finished flinging sand and stood up, only to be faced with a glaring Scarlett standing over him when he turned around. "For the record," she began with a death glare, "that warning I gave you third season applies here as well."
"Or what?" Matthew replied rudely, "you'll try to blow me up again?"
Scarlett gasped, then hung her head.
"That's what I thought," Matthew said. "Now how about you leave me alone and go play nice with all the other heroes? You might convince them not to vote you off that way. Of course I don't care either way."
Scarlett paused, gave the hipster a halfhearted glare, then sighed and walked away. Matthew laughed and started to walk away as well, but a sudden shout of 'Hey!' caused both him and Scarlett to pause.
"What's going on here?" Cody said, arms crossed and attempting to look threatening.
Matthew looked the geek over, then doubled over in hysterical laughter. "This is who you have fighting your battles this season? Oh how the mighty have fallen."
"I think you should apologize to the lady," Cody said sternly.
"And who's gonna make me?" Matthew asked mockingly. "I don't know if you know this, but this 'lady' is a sociopathic murderer and she robbed me of my spot in the finale. Chris was an idiot making her a hero."
Cody got in Matthew's face. "I won't say it again," he said even more sternly than before. "Apologize."
Matthew's eyes widened, then he began to laugh. "Oh I get it. You have feelings for her. How pitiful. I know your first choice would rather date a woman, but I didn't think you'd stoop this low just to get a girlfr-"
To Matthew and Scarlett's surprise, Cody punched the hipster directly in the face. Matthew fell to the sand and covered his nose. "You idiot!" he shouted, standing up and still holding his nose. "You will pay for that, I promise you." He walked away, muttering something under his breath.
Cody still glared at Matthew as he retreated, but his gaze softened when he heard Scarlett say 'Thank you' softly.
"I actually came over here to tell you I found a couple more pieces," the geek explained with a sudden bashfulness. "But then I heard your conversation and... I couldn't let him talk to you like that."
The two heroes walked away, and the camera panned over to show Matthew shooting the two a dark and hateful glare.
XXX
"I will not suffer an embarassment from that weak and pathetic-" the hipster griped before being taken over by a growl and shout of pure rage.
XXX
"You know amigo, pretending to form an alliance is an impressive strategy," Alejandro told Natasha, helping the mastermind dig up another piece of the villains' statue. "However actually forming one would be even better."
"You don't say," Natasha said thoughtfully as they hauled the black rock out of the hole they'd dug. "You're not exactly trustworthy, why should I ally with you?"
"Because," the charmer said smoothly, taking the statue piece from him, "I was the best strategist from my generation, and you are the best of yours. The others will more than likely target us first so we need some measure to protect ourselves."
"You have a deal," Natasha said with a smirk as the two parted ways.
XXX
"Hah!" Alejandro bragged. "I only need to ally myself with two more players and I'll have this team under my control."
XXX
"I think I have a pretty good understanding of how my teammates think," Natasha told the outhouse. "Alejandro and Heather are having a lover's quarrel that's taking thir minds off the game. Keeping them at each other's throats will be beneficial, but they might be more distracted if they get together. I'll have to observe them more and see," he added while rubbing his chin. "Jo and Matthew's egos seem to have taken up the majority of their rational thinking. As such, I don't see them being a threat. Lily's frustration at the state of her relationship with Lightning puts a target on her back as well, considering she's taking it out on the rest of us. And Mike?" He shrugged. "His alternate personalities do make him a threat, but his insistence on teamwork means I won't have to worry about him until the teams merge."
XXX
Then scene flashed over to the Heroes as Cody and Scarlett threw the two statue pieces the former had found up onto their platform, then high-fived.
"So, how many does that make?" Kitsune asked, walking over to join them.
Cody replied by jumping up and grabbing the edge of the Hamsters' platform, then climbing on top of it. "We got, six out of seven!" he called out after taking a moment to count.
"Excellent," Scarlett nodded, the camera cutting outward from her to show that Bridgette and Lightning had come over as well. "Some of us should start working on the puzzle with Cody while the rest of us keep digging."
"Sounds like a plan," Bridgette told her. "You do the puzzle, we need our smartest players working on it," she added. Scarlett nodded and jumped to reach the platform.
"We should be good with the geniuses," Kitsune added with a shrug. "So I guess the three of us and Angel should keep digging."
"Speaking of, where is Nice Twin anyway?" Lightning asked as the heroes looked around, and the shot cut to the idealist in question as she exuberantly ran across the beach.
"Coming~!" she sang, right before stepping on a hidden plate that sprung back up, launching her towards the lake with a scream. Right before she hit the water a motorboat sped into her path, causing her to bounce off it before splashing down in the water.
"When we did our safety test," Chris told the camera as it cut to him and Chef in the covered box, "that boat wasn't there."
"As if we test these things," his assistant pointed out, causing both men to laugh.
A trail of bubbles was shown moving along the surface of the lake, and when it reached the shore Angel trudged from the water with a look of confusion. "I'd rather not do that again," she said, quickly shaking off the daze and running onto the beach to continue digging along with Bridgette, Lightning, and Kitsune.
The camera pulled back to show Lily watching them from afar, her gaze seemingly pointed at her 'former' crush. A perspective change showed her sighing wistfully, only to stop as Manitoba walked up with a smirk on his face.
"You know," he said suggestively. "I could help take that frown upside down."
Lily huffed. "Walk away, digiri-dunce"
"Just sayin'." Manitoba told her, walking away with a smug look as Lily turned her gaze back towards Lightning.
XXX
"Yeah," Manitoba said in the confessional. "She's a wily one, but that's just how I like 'em."
He suddenly inhaled and returned to Mike. "Uh... aren't you married?" he asked.
He inhaled again and returned to Manitoba. "Hush it mate, she doesn't need to know that."
XXX
The music was tense and pounding as the camera panned across the Heroes' statue pieces. "This all looks so familiar but I just can't place it," Scarlett said, the shot cutting to her and Cody standing over the puzzle and rubbing their chins in thought. The brainiac suddenly snapped her fingers, however, and declared "Of course! The Statue of Liberty!"
"Wow, that's obvious in hindsight," Cody added, the two geniuses sharing a high-five.
"Found one!" Alejandro announced as the camera moved to the villains, the charmer holding up what appeared to be the face of a clock while Matthew and Heather stood up with interest in the background. He became quiet as he swiftly counted under his breath, reaching seven and grinning. "That's all of them! Quickly, we must start building!" He took off running, the camera showing him passing Manitoba and Lily, causing them to perk up and give chase once Matthew and Heather had passed as well. Jo and Natasha brought up the rear, passing right in front of the camera.
Alejandro was shown easily leaping onto the platform, but Matthew managed to misstep and had to grab the edge to keep from falling in the moat. He was stuck in his position for a second before Heather ran up his back onto the platform. "Keep still," she told him before Manitoba used him as a ramp as well.
"Thanks mate," the survivalist told him.
"Thanks, teamie," Lily added snidely as she became the third to run up the hipster's back. The camera zoomed in on Matthew face as he grit his teeth and growl in irritation.
"Comin' through!" Jo called as she too used Matthew as a ramp, another piece in her hands.
"Spasibo!" Natasha said as he ran up the one-eyed boy.
Matthew growled, then yelled in pain when a crab jumped up and clamped onto his nose.
The shot cut to the top of the Villains' platform. "Come on people, put this thing together already!" Heather commanded over the fast-paced challenge music, the camera quickly pulling back and panning right over her hectic teammates... and Matthew subtly knocking the piece Jo had found into the moat with his foot.
"Try these two together," Alejandro said, pointing from the large and boxy piece he was holding to a couple other piece lying between him, Manitoba and Jo. The survivalist reached for one of them, only for the charmer to correct him. "No, that one!"
"Shouldn't we try to work from the bottom up?" Natasha suggested, picking up the piece that was clearly the base.
"Hey, that sounds like a great idea!" Matthew declared with a level of enthusiasm that took Natasha off-guard. The hipster grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him in close, then whispered "So it turns out you're not a complete idiot. How about we form an alliance?"
"Considering your chronic backstab syndrome?...no thanks..." Natahsa said warily, ducking under the hipster's arm and walking away with the statue base still in his hands. Matthew was shocked for a moment, then pursed his lips and narrowed his eye in annoyance.
\
The footage skipped ahead to a pan up the villains' partial statue, which had three pieces including the base that fit together perfectly to form the bottom of a square tower. Fourth was the large, boxy piece that Alejandro had been trying to fit with the others, but it didn't seem to work with what was below it. A smaller spire-like piece had been placed on top, and Alejandro was now fitting the clock face into an open hole in the front of the boxy piece.
"It's clearly a clock tower," he said as he stepped back to enjoy what he thought was the finished work. "Big Ben, to be specific."
\
"It's almost done!" Cody as the scene moved to the Heroes' platform, he and Scarlett standing around their nearly-complete Statue of Liberty.
"Yes, but we still are missing our final piece," Scarlett pointed out, prompting the camera to briefly zooming in on the missing right hand before cutting back to the two.
The viewpoint shifted to show Kitsune, Angel, Bridgette, and Lightning still digging at various distance along the Heroes' stretch of beach. "Don't worry guys, we'll find it," the goofball called out to her puzzle-solving teammates.
\
"Is it just me," Lily asked, the music fading out as the camera moved back to the Vultures as the model and the hipster tried to rotate the top of the clock tower to a more stable position on the bottom half, "or is this not fitting?"
"I hate saying this, but she's right," Matthew said as they set the three pieces onto the platform, ignoring them as they fell apart.
"Did we put it together wrong?" Natasha wondered.
"Maybe Al miscounted," Heather suggested with a pointed look at Alejandro.
The charmer scowled at the hated nickname, then shook his head. "No no no, a Burromuerto never miscounts. I found two of the pieces, while Lily, Natasha, Matthew, Jo, and Manitoba each found one. That's seven total. Did one of you leave a piece on the beach?" he asked his teammates accusingly.
"Uh, no," Lily said, hands on her hips in offense.
"Yeah, I made sure my piece landed up here," Manitoba chimed in.
"Don't look at me," Jo said as the focus panned to her, "You all saw me carry my piece up here!"
"Hmph," Alejandro scowled. "Clearly one of you is mistaken. And that means we have to go back down and look for the last piece. Again."
The other Villains grumbled, but followed him back off the platform as the music became tense again. The camera cut down to the beach as they landed with Lily coming down last, losing her balance, and falling backwards into the moat. Her teammates ignored the flurry of leaping, snipping crabs that followed, but turned back in shock as they heard her shout "Hey, I found it!"
Seconds later the missing part of the tower landed on the sand, and Natasha walked over to pick it up. "Hold on, isn't this the piece Jo found?" the mastermind asked.
"What the...," the jock-ette said, climbing up to the lip of the moat and looking at the piece, "Someone had to have tossed it in the moat!"
"And sabotage their own team?" Heather asked incredulously. "Who'd be dumb enough to do that?"
"Whatever," Lily said. "Just get it onto the platform so we can win!"
The shot cut over to the Heroes' side as Bridgette reached into the hole she'd dug and with a wide smile pulled out the torch-holding arm of their statue. "Guys, I found it!" she told her teammates, Lightning, Angel, and Kitsune looking over with excited smiles.
"Awesome, girl, throw it long!" the uber-jock told her as she ran past to the cheers of concern and encouragement of her teammates, and the camera cut in close as she stopped and threw the piece towards their platform.
Cody and Scarlett, watched it sail over their heads with growing smiles, an extended flat note giving way to a tune of glory as it landed exactly in its place. The shot zoomed out from the completed Statue of Liberty, showing it bathed in radiant light as the victors cheered.
"The Heroic Hamsters win!" Chris announced from the box he still shared with Chef. The Villainous Vultures groaned, Alejandro just about to slot the final piece of Big Ben into place as Natasha and Jo held the top half and Lily and Manitoba helped Heather and Matthew onto the platform.
"Spa hotel! Spa hotel" Cody and Scarlett cheered, jumping up and down and hugging one another.
"Ehem," Chris said in annoyance, drawing the attention of both camper and camera back to his semi-private seat. "I do require a volunteer for exile duty!" he said with a smile.
"I'll do it," Angel said. "It should make up for how bad I've been at challenges and- Whoa!" She was startled when Chef suddenly grabbed her by the arm, the camera zooming in on her uncomfortable expression before zooming out to show her on the back of the Boat of Losers. It sped away, and the scene moved back to the beach as Lily nervously watched the victorious heroes walk by in the foreground.
"Oh hey Rudy," she called out to the uber-jock when he appeared on-camera, "congrats on winning!" Her 'former' crush stopped walking, but only to scowl at her. Lily was taken aback, but only for a moment. "So, umm, I bet you're really looking forward to spending a night in that spa hotel, huh?"
"Yeah, since I won't have to share it with you," Lightning said coldly before turning to walk away again.
Lily sagged in disappointment, and a few deep drumbeats were added to the music as she sulkily started walking down the beach as well...only to step on a hidden pressure plate that launched a bag of garbage into the air. Though she gasped in shock Lily failed to dodge the bag as it crashed down onto her, exploding into a mess of rotten fruit, old bottles, and strange juices best left unidentified. Covered in stinking, disgusting filth, Lily could only cough and shudder and cry.
The sound of clapping brought the camera back to the host. "Maybe you should leave being nice to the heroes," he told her. "It just doesn't suit you."
Lily just growled in frustration.
\
The scene faded forward to nightfall, the elimination theme opening up over the usual shot of moonlit Wawanakwa. "Welcome Hamsters!" Chris greeted the victors, the shot cutting to the five non-exiles sitting in the Peanut Gallery with the host standing before them. "Sit back and enjoy the show. Vultures," he turned as a deep note struck, the shot cutting to the seven villains on the stump seats, "it's time for you to vote off your first villain."
"So who do you think is getting the boot?" Bridgette asked.
"Who can tell?" Kitsune shrugged.
XXX
"Jo cost us the challenge," Lily pondered, "but Natasha's... Natasha. It's close."
XXX
"I don't know who to vote for!" Mike exclaimed. "I can't trust any of them!"
XXX
"The following players are safe for another day," Chris announced as the static cut away to a shot of him from behind the front row of villains, Chef by his side holding the tray of marshmallows. The camera zoomed in on the papers Chris was holding up, and he threw away the blank cover page to reveal an unmarred photo of...
"Lily. Mike. Matthew. Alejandro Aaaand Heather." One by one the photos were revealed, and the five in question were shown receiving their prizes. "Jo, you're on the chopping block for messing up the challenge. And your horrible attitude."
"This is how winners act," the jock-ette objected, her face falling into a scowl.
"Natasha," the camera panned to the apathetic mastermind, "you're on the block for being completely untrustworthy, which is sayin' a lot considering the team you're on."
Natasha just shrugged.
"And tonight's loser is...," Chris said, the bottom two breaking their glare the music became tense and trilling. The shot moved to the host's bland smile, to Jo's annoyed frown, to Natasha's raised eyebrow, to the final marshmallow, and the down to the untouched photo of Heather as Chris threw it away to reveal the crossed-out photo of...
"Jo!"
The young woman in question gasped. "What? Are you kidding?!" she yelled, the screen rotating about a central axis to transition the scene to the Flush of Shame and the somber farewell theme began to play.
"Are you all nuts?!" Jo angrily asked her former teammates who stood with the host on the Dock of Shame while she sat in the massive toilet's bowl. "I was your only hope of winning this season!"
Chris just smiled impishly and pressed the button on his remote, flushing Jo with a spinning scream. "Yeah, they all say that," he said with a laugh as the background music transitioned into the series's capstone. "Who's in line for a porcelain goodbye?" he asked the camera. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"
(Roll the Credits)
\
\
(Bonus Clip)
The clip opened with Jo floating upward out of a pipe, her cheeks bulging as she tried to hold her breath. A slow love song began to play as she gasped for air, then swam over to the concrete walkway lining whatever body of water she'd been put in. "Those idiots," she complained, clinging to the walkway but still mostly in the water. "I bet Natasha had something to do with this! Now I have to figure out where I am!"
She started to haul herself onto dry land, and to her surprise a muscular white-skinned hand reached down to help her up. "You're in Paris" a familiar gruff voice directed her attention upward, the camera panning to follow and zooming out to show the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud and well-lit in the night.
Jo, dripping wet, scowled. "Great, the City of Wusses," she said before raising her head in sudden realization, then looking to the side as the camera panned over to show her savior. "Wait a minute, Eva? What are you doing here?" she said to a scowling iron woman.
Before Eva could answer, she was interrupted by another familiar voice.
"Umm, loud cough of interruption?" the voice said, clearly female and even more clearly annoyed. "We've just been searching the riverside for the past couple hours. Waiting for you to get here has been like super. Annoying." The camera zoomed out a little bit as Jo looked to her right, rolling her eyes as none other than Amy walked up. "Like, I seriously don't even understand why we had to come pick you up."
"The producers wanted the non All-Stars to make sure the eliminated contestants got back to Canada and-" Eva started before she was cut off.
"And we drew the short straws for this, I was there. I meant like why do they even care about a bunch of losers?" Amy asked with her hands on her hips.
"Well I wasn't thrilled to be stuck with you either," Eva shot back.
Amy just scoffed and snorted.
"Can we just get back to Canada now?" Jo asked impatiently.
"Fine," Amy huffed. The three surly girls walking off down the foot path.
Author's Note Post Script: And the season's villain is revealed. I knew Jo was going home this week because, there's really no where to go with her. So rather than having her take a level in dumbass, she gets targeted by Matthew. And if Matthew seems a little... off his rocker, it's only because being stuck in that robot suit affected him a lot more than it did Alejandro in canon.
Regarding Scarlody: It's worth mentioning that while pretty much everyone's forgiven Scarlett for Area 51, she hasn't forgiven herself. It's why she's shocked to be on the hero team and why she was shocked to find out that the other heroes see her as one. It's pretty much what's going to keep her for acting on her obvious feelings.
Also there will be no love triangle with Aleheather. That little revelation was something I had originally planned on dealing with in season three but it seemed too much like recreating the dreaded love dodecahedron in canon so I left it out. But since I needed something for tension between the two villains, I had it discovered in retrospect. I hope that works.
And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
And I'd also like to remind you guys that a TVTropes page for this series does exist and needs you guys adding to it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDRotI ELIMINATION TABLE:
14th Place: Victor
13th Place: Jo