Disclaimer: Not mine.

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It was just another morning when Reginald wandered downstairs, eager for his first cup of tea. He could smell it coming from the kitchen, but when he entered said room, he found something...unexpected: a baby. Now, normally this Mad Hatter loves children, however, he had never had one invade his home at the ripe old age of five months. Glancing frantically around, he spotted Alice at the stove, preparing to pour the hot water into a tea pot and add the leaves. "Alice!" he cried, dashing over and grabbing her. "Why is there a b-b-b--"

"A baby?" she finished for him, looking confused. "Reginald, did you forget that you promised to baby-sit for Ariel today?" Her disapproving tone of voice made him cower slightly as he tried to recall making such a deal.

Flashback

"Hatter!" Ariel called, coming alongside him in the bookstore, a stroller being pushed in front of her.

"Hello," he replied vaguely, eyes locked on Alice as she slowly descended a ladder. "Careful, dear," he murmured as she struggled to balance the books in one hand and keep her grip on the ladder.

"I was wondering, Mr. Hatter, if you could do me a favor?" Ariel continued, unaware that she was being ignored. The baby in the stroller cooed happily as the Hatter's shiny belt buckle caught her attention.

"Yes!" Reggie cheered as Alice once again planted both feet safely on the ground. "Err..." The other customers, as well as Alice and Belle turned to stare at him and he shyly jammed his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, lovely!" Ariel told him, "Little Maddie here needs a sitter for next Friday. Will you be at home and able to watch her for a few hours?"

"Of course! I always watch...HOME!!" he exclaimed, grabbing his hat as he ran out the door.

End Flashback

"I made no such promise!" Reggie retorted absently, fascinated by the sun glinting off of Alice's new bow. "Sssshhhiiinnnyyyy..." As he was taller than Alice, all he had to do was stand disturbingly close and stare down at her hair to better study the bow.

"Reggie?" Alice asked, cheeks flushing as he drew near. "He must be distracted by something...my new bow, maybe?" she wondered. Deciding to find out for sure, she shook her head quickly, watching his eyes follow the top of her head. "Reggie!" she yelled, his attention snapping back to her. "You promised to watch Maddie while Ariel went to the flea market for the afternoon." Hands on hips, she stared him down.

"But Alice---" he whined, cut off as she wagged one finger in his face.

"No, Reggie. You promised, whether you meant to or not," she told him. "Besides, what are you going to do when you decide to have a baby of your own one day?"

Of course, Reginald Theophilus III heard "we" and "our" instead of "you" and "your." Thoughts of a baby with Alice's eyes and his shockingly white hair. Excitement zipped through him, making him dance in place, followed quickly by, "Can we, Alice? Can we, please?!"

Suspicous, she asked cautiously while scooping the baby from its carrier and cradling it close, "Can we what, Reginald?"

"Have a baby!" He looked so thrilled at the prospect that she almost, almost, couldn't force out the words "No, Reggie, we can't."

"But why not? I mean, how hard can it be?"

"We aren't married, and, besides---"

"Then marry me, sugar cube!"

"It isn't that simple!" Frustrated, she swept from the room, baby gurgling happily in her arms.

Determined to make her see his particular brand of reason, he followed her into the sitting room. Ariel and Alice had set up a portable crib, in which Alice now laid the baby as she sat in a chair next to it. Reggie was so sincere in his pursuit that he knelt in front of her, seizing her hands in his and gazing pleadingly into her eyes. "Alice, my darling, my tea cup, will you reside with me permanently and share in my mental instabilities?" he implored.

"Excuse me?" Alice finally managed. Her brain worked frantically, flipping pages in the Dictionary of Reggie Speak so fast that pages ripped.

"I mean...marry me and bear me oodles of munchkins?"

"Are you serious?!"

"Well..."

"Reginald!"

"Yes! All right? Yes, I'm serious! I want to marry you!"

"...Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, Reginald, why do you want to marry me?"

"Err...I wanna share my tea with you."

"You want to what?" She asked quietly, reaching down to adjust the blanket over the baby's sleeping form.

"Share. My. Tea. With. You." he said quietly, nervously wringing his gloved hands as he suddenly realised that it was true. He really did want to marry Alice, and not just so he could have an heir.

"Your tea?" Alice slowly stood, moving to stare out the window as she thought it over. Tea to this particular Hatter was like offering all the love you could ever want on demand. He was serious about this, she realized, staring down at her ring finger as she tried to figure out how this made her feel.

"Goo-gaaah," the baby announced, squirming as it fought for attention. Alice turned and started towards the crib, but Reginald beat her to it. "Why, hello!" he told Maddie, who blinked at him in confusion. Who was this odd man? she wondered.

"Yes, I completely agree," Reggie settled the baby in his arms, surrounding it in garishly orange cloth.

"What did she say?" the other female in the room asked warily as she drew closer.

"That if you didn't marry me, it was only right that she did."

"Well, then I guess I'll just have to keep you on a short leash, now won't I?" Alice told him slyly as she went to answer the now-ringing doorbell.

Reginald could only stare after her in shock, jaw still brushing the carpet as she led Ariel into the room. The redhead swept her baby into her arms, cooing in-between thanking Alice and giving Reggie the evil eye. As if insanity can spread! She left minutes later after confirming another sitting appointment. Alice peeked around the doorway, eyebrows raised. "Are you O.K. yet?"

"Did you just---Are you---Then we--" he stuttered in response, unable to form complete sentences. The object of his affections came fully into the room and settled into his lap, wrapping his limp arms around her waist and getting comfortable.

"Yes, I mean, if you still want to, that is."

"Of course I do! OH! I must tell March Hare!" he cried, leaping to his feet and spilling his newly-acquired fiance onto the carpet. He rushed from the room, skidding to a stop as he heard from behind him: "Wait just a minute you crazy oaf!"

"Yes, dear?" He poked his head around the corner, half-afraid of the British girl's wrath.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she said meaningfully.

"Of course! My hat! Thank you, sugarbean!" He rushed off again, one hand holding his giant hat to his cranium as he bounded out the door and down the street.

"I meant ME!" Alice called after him as she leaned in the doorway, shaking her head. "Definitely a short leash," she told herself as she went back inside.