Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any of the wonderful characters to whom I am way too emotionally attached.

No Me Diga

Summary: Kurt and Rachel receive their NYADA results. One's heart is broken while another's dream is solidified. How will each react when it appears that their friendship is being put in jeopardy?

A/N in Regards to Reviews (feel free to ignore): I've gotten a few reviews about the "absurdity" that Kurt would be accepted into NYADA and Rachel rejected. Both are extraordinarily talented, but they are also distinctly different. Those who might have screened NYADA applications may not have been looking for what Rachel has. Kurt is unique. He's had to face adversity, and he has a story. Yes, Rachel is wonderful and driven and amazing. Does she deserve to get into NYADA? Is she talented enough? Hells yes! But sometimes, we don't always get what we deserve. Sometimes life isn't fair and we don't get what we want. Rachel has a future outside of NYADA, and this fic is supposed to center around Rachel learning that.

Also, to Kurtsie, thank you so much for the wonderfully kind review! You're so sweet and practically read my mind!

Chapter 2

After Rachel had left, they decided to just sit together in the living room and watch a movie. They were halfway through Tangled when Finn came through the door.

"Okay, I know Blaine's here, so if you two are doing anything inappropriate right now, please stop!" He announced loudly as he set his keys in the bowl by the door.

"We're right here Finn. You can stop screaming." Kurt said quietly, snuggling into Blaine's chest.

"Oh, hey Kurt. Hi Blaine. Sorry, just force of habit now. I really don't want to relive that one time when..."

"You promised we'd never speak of that again. Dad and Carole will be home in an hour. They're picking up dinner."

"Great. Thanks. So..." Finn was contemplating whether or not to make small talk with the boys when he spotted a large open envelope on the kitchen table. He walked over to inspect it and realized it was Kurt's NYADA letter.

"Kurt! You got your NYADA letter and didn't tell me? More shockingly, Rachel got hers and didn't tell me! Well, did you make it?"

Blaine paused the movie, and Kurt turned to look at Finn, touched by his genuine concern.

"Yeah, I did, actually. Kind of still in shock, I guess."

"Wow, Kurt! That's awesome! Congratulations. I'm surprised you and Blaine aren't having celebratory uhm...canoodling."

Both Kurt and Blaine couldn't help but chuckle at Finn's word choice. "Canoodling? Someone's been using their Word of the Day calendar. But no. Blaine and I weren't really in the mood."

Finn cringed slightly as he took Kurt's use of "in the mood" in a much more sexual way than intended. "But you guys are always in the mood. Is something wrong?"

"No Finn! We're not always as horny as you are! Geez!" Blaine looked at Kurt's outburst in slight shock, rubbing his back to calm him.

"Sorry, man. I didn't mean anything by that. I just thought you'd be a lot happier...and a lot less cranky after finding out you got into NYADA."

Kurt sighed. "I'm sorry, Finn. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's fine, I...wait, Rachel. You guys had to have opened your letters together. Did she get in? She hasn't called me all afternoon."

Kurt and Blaine exchanged a glance. "She wants to tell you herself." Blaine finally replied.

"Oh, alright. Makes sense." Finn said shrugging nonchalantly, but contrary to popular belief he wasn't stupid-and he knew Rachel. If Rachel had gotten in, she would have come straight from Kurt's house and burst into the locker room, screaming and throwing herself into a hug no matter what state of undress he was in. She must not have gotten in, and Finn had no idea how she was going to react. He knew he should call her, but he was quite afraid of what she would do or what she would scream if he tried to comfort her. He decided that he'd give her the night to think things over.

Rachel had spent her Friday night watching a Broadway movie marathon. She started with Evita and then decided she needed something more uplifting, opting to watch Hairspray. She then decided that it was too happy, and sobbed continuously as she watched Collins sing "I'll Cover You" in Rent. She and Finn actually had plans that night after he was done practicing, but he never called her, and at the moment she frankly didn't care. Finn wouldn't understand her problem anyway.

She was awakened around 9 AM by a phone call from Finn. She stared at the caller ID, realizing that she had a decision to make. She couldn't pretend forever that she had not been rejected by NYADA, but this Saturday she wanted to live in her fantasy world.

"Hi Finn!" She said enthusiastically.

"Hey Rach." Finn replied confused. Maybe he had assumed wrong about her NYADA application. It wouldn't be the first time he was completely wrong about her reactions.

"What's up?"

"Not much. Sorry I didn't call last night. I uhm... got caught up at the gym."

"It's fine." Rachel replied, still as dishonestly perky as her hello.

"So, did you want to do something today?"

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"How about lunch at Breadstix and then a few movies at my house? Kurt is spending the day taking mom shopping and Burt's working."

"Sure. Sounds wonderful!"

"Great. Pick you up at 11."

"See you then. Love you, Finn."

"Love you too, Rachel."

Rachel had mixed emotions about her impending date. On one hand, part of her really needed Finn right now-someone who loved her unconditionally and could just hold her and tell her everything would be okay. But she wasn't quite ready to tell him about her NYADA letter. She was afraid that it would change his perception of her, but part of her feared that he already knew. He was Kurt's step-brother after all. For now, she would take the chance in favor of having true, unprecedented happiness with Finn for at least today.

For once, Finn picked Rachel up promptly on time. It was strange, but Rachel didn't think twice about it. Conversation in the car flowed smoothly, and Rachel didn't seem to notice Finn's odd glances at her overly happy responses to everything. They were seated at Breadstix at their usual table and Finn was deep in thought eating his baked ziti as Rachel rambled about The Book of Mormon and its well-deserved, numerous Tony awards.

Rachel was always the drama queen. If she had gotten into NYADA, surely she would have told him by now, and since she hadn't mentioned the letter, then that must mean she didn't get in. But if so, then why didn't she come to him? To talk to him? Did he not mean as much to her anymore? Did she not trust him? Why was she hiding this from him? He really couldn't take not knowing anymore.

"Rachel, are you sure there's nothing new going on?"

Rachel stopped her rant abruptly, cocked her head to the right and smiled. "Did Kurt tell you that I'm planning a surprise for you in Glee club for Monday, because he promised that he'd keep it a secret and..."

"Rachel! Stop. I'm not stupid. I know."

"I don't know what you're talking about, All things considered my life is pretty mellow and..."

"Rachel, I know you didn't get in."

Rachel didn't have a response. She just stared at Finn, her mouth gaping. She finally closed her mouth and looked down at her lap.

"Did Kurt tell you?" She wouldn't have been mad if he had. She loved how close Finn and Kurt were as stepbrothers and was so proud of the trust the two had built up with one another.

"No. I figured it out myself, believe it or not. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I...I didn't think it was important."

Finn scoffed and he subconsciously raised his voice. "That is the biggest lie I think I've ever heard. Nothing has been more important to you in the past two years than getting into NYADA. What's the real reason? Do you not trust me? Do you think I wouldn't care?"

Finn's face began to redden as Rachel's heart sank. She finally looked Finn in the eye. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me? Rachel, you could never disappoint me. I love you no matter where you go to college, and now that NYADA is out of the picture, just think of all the other options there are for us! Now that you're not going to New York..."

Rachel's features hardened. Instead of the adoring expression she usually gave Finn, her eyes were now cold. "Who said I'm not going to New York?"

Finn realized his error and began to stutter and backtrack on his words. "I...I didn't mean...I just thought that maybe now we could..."

Rachel stood. She had a lot of pent up emotions-anger, sadness, disappointment, shame-and deep down she knew that Finn did not deserve her attacks, but right now she couldn't help it.

"Just because I'm apparently not good enough to get into NYADA, doesn't mean that my New York dream is dead! How dare you? Whether I'm going to that school or not, I'm going to New York. I'm going to be a star on Broadway and if you're not going to support that dream just because I didn't get into NYADA, then you don't have to be a part of it." Tears began to stream down Rachel's face as the patrons of Breadstix began to stare. Finn just looked confused, awestruck and utterly heartbroken.

"Rachel, you know I didn't mean that. I just..."

"I don't know anything anymore."

Rachel gave Finn an apologetic look and left Breadstix without another word. She needed air. She needed a walk. She needed more time away to think-time where collapsing back into herself and her DVDs wasn't an option.

Finn knew he should have gone after her, but he just couldn't bring himself to be the boyfriend that Rachel needed right now. He figured that time and space is the best healer right now. She would talk when she was ready.

Rachel began to walk down the street in the opposite direction of the Hummel-Hudson household. She had spent her first two years of high school isolated. Having no one and convincing herself that she didn't need anyone to be a star and that friends would just hold her back. But after she experienced not only what friends are like but how best friends can truly impact you, she really needed someone to talk to right now. Unfortunately, her best friend currently wasn't an option. The only person who even moderately knew what she was going through just wasn't there. Well, he was there but she knew that if she talked to him, he would only feel guilty. Despite her usual selfishness, she did want Kurt to be truly happy. She couldn't ruin that for him. Not after everything he's been through.

Her other options were slim. She needed to talk to someone who knew what it was like to be on top. Who could relate to having your dreams crushed-to working hard your entire life and then just losing it all in one moment. She finally decided to talk to Blaine. Yes, he was Kurt's boyfriend and it was a risk, but she had no plans to talk poorly of Kurt, and her relationship with Blaine had actually become quite warm in the past year. Plus, his obvious bias toward Kurt would actually be beneficial. She wanted someone to tell her the truth-to tell her what she knew others would be afraid to tell her.

Rachel walked the rest of the way home contemplating her exact feelings about her situation. As soon as she reached her driveway, she drove silently to Blaine's. As she sped down the road, her emotions began to seethe. She found it difficult to figure out exactly what she was feeling and what emotions were appropriate to express to Blaine. She finally arrived at Blaine's generously sized house in Westerville and knocked on his door. Blaine was quite surprised to see her, but once he met he gaze her gave her a sympathetic look.

"Oh, hi Rachel. How are you doing? Would you like to come in?"

Rachel's stance stiffened unconsciously. She was done pitying herself. She wanted answers. She needed a reason why all of a sudden she wasn't good enough. Her eyes were hard, and she looked intently into Blaine's face as she stepped into his foyer. Arms crossed she made her way to sit on the couch in his family room. Blaine sat next to Rachel, ready to provide her with as much comfort as possible and sent Kurt a discreet text that Rachel was at his house.

To: My Inspiration :)
Hey. Rachel's here. She's acting a bit strange. But you know Rachel.

Rachel just sat for a few minutes staring at Blaine texting Kurt.

To: Mine 3
Is she okay? Should I come over?

To: My Inspiration :)
I'm really not sure. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. I think you guys need to talk.

To: Mine 3
I agree. Be there asap. Love you.:)

To: My Inspiration :)
Thanks, babe. Love you too. 3

Rachel caught a glimpse of Blaine's message to Kurt. She finally broke the silence, her tone suddenly harsh and accusing.

"Blaine, do you think you're the most talented junior in Glee club?"

"Well, I mean, Tina has a wonderful voice and Artie can..."

"No, Blaine. It's a yes or no question. Answer it. Honestly."

"...Yes. I suppose. Not to sound conceited though, I mean at Dalton I..."

"Irrelevant." Rachel now stood in front of Blaine who was still seated on the couch. She paced up and down Blaine's living room, intermittently glancing at Blaine with harsh eyes as she continued her interrogation.

"So yes, Blaine. You're very talented. And you've got dreams-goals for yourself, right?"

"Yes, I mean, I hope to move to New York with Kurt after I graduate. Start a life with him."

"Mhmm. So you've got goals. Fantastic. And how long have you had that goal, Blaine? How hard have you worked to achieve that?"

"Well, I just met Kurt last year, but he helped me find out so much about myself..."

"So, what you're saying is that your primary goal- you have only been aware of it since last year, and consequently have only been working to achieve that since then?"

"I...I have other dreams too. I mean, I've been performing since I was little but...what does this have to do with anything, Rachel? Where are you going with this?"

"Oh, I'm getting there Blaine, don't worry. So great you have other dreams. But clearly they were second on your mind to your dream of moving to NYC with Kurt. Is that correct?"

"I suppose so. Yes."

"I see. So, answer me this. Imagine that you have had the same dream since you understood the definition of the word star. Imagine that you had been working toward the same goal since age 2. You've only wanted one thing your entire life. You've made sacrifices in every aspect of your life for as long as you can remember. Everyone constantly tells you that you're the best. That you can do it. That you have the talent, the drive, the mindset to do anything you want. Then one day, it's all gone. One day you're just not good enough anymore. How would that make you feel?"

Blaine's mouth was agape as Rachel now was staring down at Blaine shrunken on the couch.

"Rachel, just because you didn't make it into NYADA doesn't mean you're not good enough."

Rachel scoffed. "Didn't make it in? That's the nice way of putting it. I was rejected. I've spent my life doing everything I possibly can to avoid that-to avoid this feeling right now. Apparently, it was all for nothing. What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? It's not fair. And I swear to god, if you say that life isn't fair I will stab every bottle of hair gel that you own, Blaine Anderson."

Blaine had seen Rachel's angry side numerous times during her more impatient days of Glee practice, but something was different about her anger now. Her glare was no longer accusing and icy. Her eyes were pleading. She genuinely wanted an answer. She needed an answer. Blaine stood and grabbed Rachel's shoulder, looking her straight in the eye.

"Rachel. You are an amazing and fantastically talented person. You are the best one in there, and you know it. Everyone knows it. You've got a focus and passion that no one else has. Not even me. Not even Kurt. You have more experience than any of us, and no matter what anyone else says, I know you care about the club more than anyone else."

"If I'm the best one in there, then why did Kurt get in and I didn't? What does he have that I don't have? I know more people like him but I thought I was so nice in my interview and my audition was flawless. I just don't understand."

Rachel's anger gradually melted into sadness. All of her pent up insecurities of her entire high school career were coming to the surface.

Kurt had arrived at Blaine's house and could hear Rachel screaming and ranting from outside. He was beyond ecstatic that he got into NYADA, but he had imagined many times what it would feel like to have had his heart crushed like Rachel's was right now. He knew Rachel needed to vent, so he quietly snuck in the door and stared at the man he loved giving his best friend some much needed support.

"There's nothing to understand. Not everything can be explained. Kurt is a fantastic performer. I've been in love with him since the minute I met him and he is the bravest person I've ever met, but Rachel believe when I say that in many ways, you are the better singer."

Rachel made eye contact with Kurt as Blaine finished his words. She stared at Blaine in disbelief of his words and then looked at Kurt guiltily.

"Hi, Kurt. I'm sorry, I..."

"It's fine. I know how much you wanted this."

Rachel wanted to be comforted and to give in to the soothing, loving tone of Kurt's voice, but she couldn't.

"I don't think you actually did, Kurt. You don't know the kind of training I went through since I was only a toddler. You don't have my experience. You're not willing to make the sacrifices. You don't even have a gender appropriate voice!"

Rachel couldn't believe the words that were coming out her mouth. She didn't believe any of them, but she needed something to make her feel like someone somewhere thought that she might deserve the NYADA spot instead of Kurt. Everyone already loved Kurt more than her. The thing that kept her going was that deep down she believed that she was more talented. More driven. More experienced. Yes, Kurt was her best friend, but they each still had her strengths. He was the one everyone loved and she was the high-strung one who did everything as perfectly has humanly possible. But now as the insults came spilling out of her mouth, she regretted nothing more than seeing the hurt and betrayed look on her best friend's face and the accusatory and unrelenting glare of her most recent confident.

Rachel looked between Kurt's hurt expression and Blaine's growing anger and hung her head in shame. She should have apologized but she couldn't at that moment, so she simply left them. She walked out of Blaine's front door and drove home, no longer trying to hold back tears.

A/N: Just so you guys know, Rachel's insults toward Kurt were some of the most painful things I've ever had to write. I love both Rachel and Kurt more than life itself. I think Chris Colfer has the voice of a God, but I think that under the circumstances, Rachel would be compelled to say some pretty horrible things. Losing something you've always wanted makes people do crazy shit.

Reviews are love! :)