A Harry Potter Fan fiction

I don't own Harry Potter or that song "Too Sexy" I think that's the title of it, I'm not

sure, just I don't own it.

-'ideous Harry's–

"Well well well." A voice says over my shoulder waking me up.

"Shut up George! She's sleeping." Another voice says. I groan and open my eyes. Some time this morning I must have sleep walked I guess because I did not know how I ended up in Fred's bed again, with my arm slung across his chest and my head resting on his arm. "Morning Noel."

"Did I sleepwalk again?" I ask sitting up and stretch.

"You can sleepwalk into my bed anytime." Fred grins sitting up and patting me on my head.

"Of course you can sleepwalk into his bed again. Or mine, I'm not picky." George chuckles leaving the room.

"Sorry about that." Fred says.

"What time is it?"

"8:12 a.m."

"Ah. Well I'm going to the bathroom to get ready for today because I heard we're leaving at noon to head over to Moody's." I say getting out of the bed, but Fred stops me by wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back onto the bed. "Hey." I laugh. "I have to get dressed."

"Or we could go back to bed for another hour and cuddle." Fred offers.

"Sorry, I promised your mom I'd help her around the house today."

"Well if you get bored of helping, and you need someone to snuggle with, you know where I am." He says and collapses back onto his bed after letting me go. I just shake my head and leave the room.

After Ron, Mione, Fred, George, Mr. Weasley, and I arrive at Moody's place; we are met up with Bill, Fleur, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, Hagrid, and Dung (who we decided as a group that he was going to be left behind when we go to get Harry). We go over the plan a few times in detail before going our separate ways to arrive on Privet Drive in Harry's back yard. Harry comes out to greet us, and Mione flings herself on him. I hold back from also flinging myself at him but then Fred gives me a gentle smile and pushes me forward so I could go and hug Harry, my raven haired, green eyed, kindred friend.

"There's so many of you." Harry says as we break apart.

"Change of plans, but let's get inside before we talk about it." Moody says. Harry leads us inside and Moody begins to tell Harry the plan. Because of recent problems we had to get Harry out of here tonight using no magic but brooms, thestrals, and Hagrid's motorbike. After getting Harry out, we will be heading to different checkpoints before going to the Burrow via Portkey. Harry would be going to Tonk's parents.

"But even though there are fourteen of us and twelve checkpoints, wont they know where I'm going if all of us go to Tonk's parents?" Harry asks.

"There won't be fourteen of us. There will be seven of you going into different directions." Moody says. To make the seven Harry's; Fred, George, Ron, Mione, Fleur, and I would be downing Polyjuice ala Harry.

"No!" Harry says. "You can't." And here's the noble part of him kicking in, as we expected.

"You know we don't really need to ask for his hair. I'm sure even Harry has a comb somewhere." I say.

"We don't have time looking for a comb. He can give it to us willingly or we could take it by force." Moody growls. "So give it to us. It's our only chance." I could see it in Harry's eyes; he knew fighting us would be a lost hope. He sighs, reaching up and yanks out his hair and drops it into the potion, which turns gold. Liquid Harry, it's what's for dinner. Fred, George, Mione, Ron, Fleur, and I line up by the sink to get our cup o' Harry. "Altogether…" I lift the cup to my lips and gulp it down. Gross, I mean it looks nice but tastes horrible. I could feel myself getting taller, my hair shrinking.

"We're identical." Fred and George says looking at each other.

"Although I think I look better." Fred says.

"Bah." Fleur says. "Bill don't look at me. I'm 'ideous." She cries hiding her face from Bill.

"You're not 'ideous Fleur." I say trying to console the girl. "Harry is."

"Thanks a lot Noel." Harry grumbles.

"I'm only joking." I say unbuttoning my shirt which was a little tight. "Look at me 'I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy yeah ah ah." I sing, slipping off my shirt and dancing a bit. Fred blushes. "What?" I ask.

"Well I know it's Harry getting undressed but on the inside it's you getting undressed." Fred says making me blush too. I cover myself and turn around.

"You perv." I say.

"Stop staring." Harry says. "That's still my half naked body you're looking at."

"At least we know what's on Fred's mind." George laughs nudging him. I finish getting undressed and quickly yank on my Harry's clothes and glasses. I take a rucksack and owl cage from the second sack Moody brought.

"Okay here are the pairs." Moody says after we were done getting dressed. The pairs were Moody and I by broom going back to Moody's place; Remus and George by broom to Remus and Tonk's place; Mr. Weasley and Fred by broom to my place, a little loft that the Cullen's kindly bought for me so I'd have a place in London to live if I needed it; Tonk's and Ron by broom going to Molly's Aunt Muriel's place; Kingsley and Mione by thestrals going to Kingsley's place; Bill and Fleur by thestrals going to their home, and Hagrid and Harry by motorbike to Tonk's parents place.

"So the strongest Harry gets to go with the strongest auror." I joke with a smile. "And until you can pop in things from nothing, and explode things with your fists without a wand Harry…the real one…wherever you are I can't tell which on is which anymore, then I rest my case."

"Okay we should get ready and head outside." Moody says. One Harry stays behind while the rest leave out the door. I follow him.

"I'm glad Hedwig is with Greg right now. They're getting along well you know." I say as Harry picks up her cage with a fake Hedwig in it.

"Thanks but…" He says looking at me. "I don't know what I'm going to do if any of you gets hurt tonight helping me." My stomach lurches when he said that, sounding helpless. I exhale loudly before giving him a tight hug.

"Nothing's going to happen." I say letting him go. "And if I'm as good as I know I am then maybe baldy might decide he likes me more and ditches you to go after me instead."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"Come on! Nothing's going to happen. Soon we'll be at the Burrow laughing about how you were worried over nothing." We walk outside together and I give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before going over to Moody.

"What took you so long? We're on a tight deadline." Moody says as I climb on the broomstick behind him.

"Hold your thestrals. We were only a minute."

"You had a long enough time to give him a hug."

"You were watching?" I sigh. "I bet you couldn't wait to have my arms around you."

"Of course I'd love you to wrap your arms around me." Moody says sarcastically.

"Was that a sense of humor there?" I ask.

"Of course it was." He says in the same tone before turning serious. "Good luck everyone."

"Yeah god speed." I add in. "May the force be with you. Live long and prosper. Yada yada yada."

"See you in an hour. On three. One…two…three." We rise into the air, when suddenly we were surrounded by death eaters. There were screams, I don't know why or from whom they were, but there were screams. It wasn't from me I promise. Moody flew us higher into the air, dodging spells, and I pull out my wand to deflect spells away from us.

"They knew." I whisper.

"I don't know how, but someone must have let it slip." Moody says. We zoom down just in time to miss a killing curse sent at us, except that sent us into the direction of another killing curse.

"Diagonal Moody! Hurry!" I shout.

"Noel do you want to fly this broom or will you-"

"Yes I want to fly! Oh but wait, why the heck would we make the companion auror the drivers when they obviously need their hands free to get the death eaters." I shout. "WHO'S BLODDY IDEA WAS THAT!" Another green light misses my head by inches. I look around and see him. "Moody it's him! He's here!" Voldemort was here. He comes up at us followed by two death eaters. What? NO BROOM! What the hell? Is he some fairy now? Or genie? Moody twists around so he was looking at Voldemort, and I was behind him.

"Give me the boy!" Voldemort hisses. I was tempted to shout that I was a girl, but I stayed quiet. Moody raises his wand and hits one of the death eaters with a stunning spell. The stunned death eater plummets towards the ground while the other flies down to get him. "Then die." That's when I notice a death eater right behind us.

"Mood down, down, behind us!" As we started downward, that's when Voldemort attacked almost hitting us. "Damn it let me-"

"If you ask me one more time I'll-" Moody interrupts me.

"You'll what? Pull this broom over and spank me?" I ask and out of no where, Voldemort pops in front of us and Moody pushes me off of the broom and as I fell I see him getting hit with the killing curse. Damn it!!! I pop a broom for me and watch Moody falling off his broom and I fly under and grab him, and feel my arm yank out of its socket. I grunt lowering us to the ground and stumble off the broom. I wave my hand quickly over my busted arm and cry out and it pops back into place. Bugger that hurt! I look around for the broom and Moody's body then feel myself getting tripped as a stunning curse shoots past where I was just standing. I roll over and watch Voldemort land, and walks toward me. I break the leg jinx on my legs and stand to get ready to duel him and he raises his wand at me.

"It's him. It's the real one!" Someone shouts. Voldemort turns from me and flies away. I look and see a death eater and raise my wand to hit him when suddenly I feel something slicing into my side as I was going to hit the death eater. I gasp, clutching my side to heal it as blood seeps through my shirt trying not to get nauseous from the smell. After I stun the death eater, I look for the culprit and find him.

"Severus Snape!" I growl, and was about to go after him when I stumble over the broom. Right checkpoint, where's Moody's body? I don't remember where it fell. I'm sorry Moody. I jump on the broom and slip away into the night. I reach Moody's house exhausted.

"What happened? Where's Moody?" One of the aurors guarding the front of the house asks me as I touchdown.

"It was a trap. He's dead. I couldn't find his body so I had to leave." I say. I look at the broom I was holding. It was Harry's firebolt.

"You missed your Portkey."

"Where's Dung?" I ask.

"He left, said he'd be right back."

"When was that?"

"An hour ago." The second auror says.

"Then he's gone." I say. I could remember the flight here, because in mid-flight I turned back. "Do you think I could use the bathroom before I leave because the clothes are a bit baggy?" I ask. They nod and let me use the bathroom, and I put on a white t-shirt and loose fitting jeans. "Okay I'll be going now." I say pocketing my mp3 which I have on me almost as much as my wand and grab Harry's broom, after disillusioning myself and fly to the Burrow. After flying for quite some time, I find myself landing awkwardly in front of the Burrow, and take the spell off. The sound of talk stops immediately and almost everyone rushes outside, wands pointed at me. "What?"

"We need to prove you're really Noel." Mr. Weasley says.

"I know!" Fred says looking at me. "On the night we became a couple…no wait the time we were in the boy's dormitory…" Everyone groans including me. "What? Let me finish. On the night we became a couple-"

"Harry dear why don't you ask a question?" Mrs. Weasely interrupts Fred.

"Wait I'm almost done!" Fred argues.

"You're taking too long." Ron says.

"You know if I really was a death eater I could have killed you all by now and be off with Harry. But if you really want to check I could just pop something in." I offer, but no one was listening. "Hello!"

"Okay Noel, if you are Noel. In fifth year when I had detention with Umbridge you made a weird comment about my hand. What was it?" Harry asks and I snort, remembering. Umbridge liked watching him cut himself. Still hot in a weird way. Harry grins.

"I asked you what had happened and did she cut you and did you…have a smoke when you were done." I say. "I could smell it okay. It was weird."

"I knew it was you. You made the face when you were remembering it." Harry says as they lower their wands. "We just had to make sure."

"Yeah, and this is yours. I tripped on it." I hand over the broom before linking arms with a still pouting Fred, and enter the house.

"NOEL YOU'RE ALIVE!" Mione shouts running up, red-eyed, and gives me a choke hold hug.

"Mi, you're going to strangle her." Ron says peeling Mione off of me.

"I know it's just Bill saw her fall."

"He saw that?" I ask looking at Bill as I sit on the couch with Fred next to me.

"I saw Mad-Eye push you off and then him get hit right before we left. No one could have survived a fall like that." Bill says.

"No one except me." I say.

"We shouldn't have said anything. We just thought after you hit the ground Voldemort would still go after you to make sure you were dead."

"He did. But someone shouted 'It's him! It's the real one!' and he just left. Then Snape got me in the side, the bastard, and was going to get him back when I stumbled over Harry's broom. By then I already lost sight of Moody's body, so I went to his house without it. I'm really sorry." I say.

"It's not your fault." Remus says. "Well I guess we have to go."

"Where?" I ask.

"We have to go back to look for the body." Remus gets up and Bill follows him out the door.

"Now I feel awful for leaving Moody behind."

"It was dark and you were fighting for your life. It's understandable to lose track of things." Mrs. Weasley says. I scoff leaning against Fred for support. I don't just lose track of things. It's my fault they have to go back there to look for the body.

"What happened to George's ear?" I ask.

"It was Severus." Mr. Weasley says.

"Bastard. He got me too. Too bad we didn't keep the ear or I would have been able to just heal back on." I say. "I'm going to get him back one day." And I doze off very tired.

"I KNOW!" Harry yells I don't know how long later, waking me up. He didn't need to yell because we were in the same room.

"Shhhhh!" I say grouchily before snuggling more into Fred and fall back asleep.

Sorry, but from now on I will TRY to not kill as many people as the book did.

P.S. I put Noel not remembering why she was in Fred's bed because I remember when I was little that whenever I went to mommies bed because of a nightmare, I would forget why I was in there the next morning. So I wrote that in using past experience.

Nagare