GOING AFTER EDEN
Chapter 2: Fleur - The Last Words You Said
And when the morning comes, I can hear you whispering in the silence of my room,
My hands still reach out for you.
Some things remain the same,
There is nothing I can do.
I can barely get through the day
Ever since you went away.
My heart still surrenders like the sun to the moon.
I can barely stand this aching, burning endlessly.
"Love me now forever"
Were your last words to me...
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How someone can survive what I have for the past year is beyond me. Do you know what is like to reach out for the one you love in the morning and come upon someone else? It is heartbreaking and it's what I've been going through for the past year. The one I love, my angel, is no longer with me, but an ocean away. I wake up every morning with my hands reaching out for her soft body only to come up with air.
In her place is my husband, a man I used to love, and a man that broke my trust in him. A man that promised to love and take care of me and instead trampled all over my heart. Why am I still with him? We're bonded for life. As if a lifetime of not having her wasn't punishment enough, I have to endure this as well. If there was a way I could be with her, I would have found it by now. She is the one I love, she is the one I long for, she is the one my soul belongs to.
I can barely stand the pain. I can barely get through the day. Her last words to me: love me now forever, still bounce against my skull, day in and day out, and drive me mad with longing. I haven't given up hope. Not when her last kiss wasn't goodbye. She is still my reason why and always will be.
Have you ever seen the sun surrendering to the moon in the evening? That moment of twilight when everything is perfect and calm? That is how my heart surrendered anytime she was near me. I belong to her, heart and soul, and no one will ever be able to change that.
Hermione Jane Granger is as perfect as they come. Don't laugh! It's true and I'll prove it to you. I'll accept we're an unlikely pair. Some of our friends used to think she was lucky to have me, but they were all wrong. I was the lucky one.
Her ink stained fingers gave me so much pleasure I thought I would pass out at times. Her smile could light a room if you were lucky enough to witness it. Her intelligence is beyond any I have ever encountered and she still seeks more knowledge. She is the most genuine person I've ever met, the most caring, the most loving, unassuming and perfect.
She's always been able to put the needs of those she loves ahead of hers. Her dedication to making the lives of others better, her commitment to have equality amongst the different creatures of our world and her tireless campaigning to make the wizarding world a better place are just a few of her accomplishments.
On a personal level, there isn't much she won't do for the ones she loves. I mean, she left me so I could be happy. Little did she know that she took my heart with her when she left. Why would I be happy when the one I love is no longer with me?
I ask our friends about her every chance I get. They don't hear from her as often as they would like, but they let me read her letters. They keep threatening to stop giving me the letters if I don't control myself, but I can't help it. Just seeing her elegant script is enough to make me fall apart.
I miss her so much.
I miss her laughter. I miss that smile that she had just for me, the one that said she loved me. I miss her warmth at night, her sweet kisses and her loving. I miss talking to her over a cup of coffee before we went our separate ways. I miss her breath caressing the back of my neck, her soft hands moving slowly over my entire body. I miss watching her as she reads, brows furrowed in concentration. I miss watching her sleep peacefully, when her guard is finally down and she resembles an angel.
She has a scar on her chest from that time she was attacked at the Ministry that many don't know about and I have kissed thousands of times. She has three freckles on the outer shell of her left ear, and many across her back. I know, since I've counted them all with my lips. She bites her bottom lip when she is nervous. She hates her toes because they are longish and thin, but I think they are adorable. She takes her coffee with milk and sugar, but on the strong side. Her lower back is very ticklish, as well as the back of her knees. And her hair, that glorious mass of unruly curls, is the softest thing you've ever touched. I think it gives her character!
I still don't know how it happened.
At first, we could hardly stand each other but time and war helped to ease that dislike. Then we collaborated several times with work, built a friendship, and then love bloomed. One night, as I walked her home after meeting for something work related, I kissed her. I don't know what came over me. I just looked at her, got lost in her incredible eyes, and kissed her before I even realized it was happening.
It was the most amazing, awkward, hurried, and clumsy kiss of my life and still one of my favorites. I was afraid to talk to her for days after it happened, but you know Hermione. She wouldn't leave it alone. She came to see me a week later and demanded an explanation, and I did give it to her, in the form of another toe-curling kiss.
From there on we were together any time we could. Our friends found out mostly by being observant and my constant need to touch her anytime she was near. I thought I was being careful and discreet, but in the months that ensued, our closest friends questioned us about it. Denial was easy at first, but our actions declared it different and we finally accepted our hidden romance to them.
Harry, Ginny, Ron and Luna were the only ones that knew and they were good about keeping the secret. Because I am bonded to Bill, I've never told anyone he was being unfaithful to me from the beginning of our marriage. I have a feeling they all knew or suspected since they were all supportive of my relationship with Hermione and never questioned it or threw accusations in our faces.
Why haven't I told anyone about his infidelities? Because even if I do, I have to stay married to him and because I'm embarrassed. I don't want my loved ones to suffer because my marriage is a sham. At least I was able to make sure no children were conceived. Bill doesn't know it, but I take a contraceptive charm every month. He just thinks we haven't been lucky yet. The fool actually thinks being married to me and having a woman on the side is perfectly normal.
If I could, if there was any way I could break the marriage, I would. In an instant. And do you know what I would do next? I would cross that big ocean and bring my love back with me. I would marry her instead. I would love to spend the rest of my life at her side, have children with her, grow old getting lost in her amazing eyes.
Sigh.
I will find a way to make this better. A year apart has only taught me one thing: my life is meaningless without her. And the last words she said to me, love me now forever, those give me hope for the future. Hope that she will also love me now and forever.
I've had enough and I'm going to get her back one way or another. I love her too much.
I will love her forever.
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A/N: Hope you liked this one as well. To those that took the time to review, my heartfelt thanks. Only two more chapters to go!