INSOMNIA
based on The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
"Hey, come on!" shouted Tatl, zipping through a crowd of early-morning shoppers. "If you can't keep up, I'll have to ditch you!"
Who would open doors for you then?, thought Link, frantically weaving around hundreds of pairs of knees, barely able to see the faerie through the crowd of unfamiliar faces.
"We're not far now!" Tatl called. She'd turned around to face him, flying backwards but still expertly zig-zagging through that sea of bobbing heads without running into anybody. By all means any normal faerie should have been splattered against a wall by now – did she have eyes in the back of her head or something?
Past the partly-built Festival Tower, through a narrow opening into a cobblestone side street, climbing uphill past any number of fruit-and-vegetable sellers and twice that many shoppers. Round another bend, past a gang of boys his age all wearing funny-shaped red hats, past a street-side stall with, oddly enough, the word 'BANK' written on it. Two more sharp turns, one not-so-sharp turn, a "shortcut" through a set of alleyways and out into a wide-open park area where lovers strolled and balloons hovered in the sky, and then they were in another wide-open street. Tatl came to an abrupt stop and so did he.
"We're here!" she declared helpfully.
Link was marveling at the size of this town. It was easily bigger than any place he have ever been before – even the castle town from his own Hyrule had nothing on this in sheer density. There must be thousands of people living here, he thought. The thought was a little staggering.
Tatl was watching him with a hint of impatience. "Hey, Deku kid! Are you going to sit there catching your breath all day, or are we going inside?"
He followed her pointing finger to a building fifty feet away. As they approached he noted the officious brass letters above the door: 'The Mayor's Official Residence'. A little closer and he could make out the subtitle: 'Official Residence of the Mayor'. Ten feet away: 'Open to the public from 10am to 8pm'.
He glanced behind him, where the momentous clock tower was still in view: a quarter to ten. They were closed. With a short pantomime he pointed this out to Tatl.
She snorted. "Oh, as if anyone ever pays attention to that. Just go in."
Casting her a dubious look, Link reached up to his full height and tried the doorknob.
Locked.
"Something wrong?" said Tatl. "Go ahead, take your time... no hurry..."
It's locked!, he wanted to shout. Of course, he still had no idea how Deku scrubs talked – no voice box or throat, not even lungs as far as he could tell – and so he just gave her an angry stare until she got the point.
"What? Is there something on my face?... Uh, the door?... Wait, you can't open it?" (Nod.) "Too weak, huh?... Don't tell me it's locked?" (Nod.)
At this she burst into a surprised laugh, doubled over and hands on her stomach. "Are you serious? They locked the door to keep us out? People actually do that? Haha... heh... hooboy. Wow. Wow... I didn't realise that locks were real...Skull Kid wasn't lying..."
It took Link supreme self-control not to burst into giggles at the absurdity of the situation. He snorted, breathed in, breathed out. There, better.
"Wow..." said Tatl, still staring at the door with an impressed look. Just as he was about to sit down, she spoke up: "Locks... Well, looks like we've got fifteen minutes to kill. You hungry?"
Now that she mentioned it... Link nodded.
She smiled. "Good. Let's go back to the west side. I'm pretty sure you Deku scrubs eat fruit, and there's plenty of people selling that down there."
She turned back the way they'd come, and led him out, much slower this time. As they walked Link looked around, taking in the atmosphere of the town. It really seemed like a nice place to live. Maybe when all of this was over-
"Hey," said Tatl, once again flipping over and flying backwards. "I almost forgot – you have any money on you?"
Link stopped, eyes widening. He'd lost all his money when she and her friends had robbed him. They were broke.
"I take that as a no?" said Tatl. "Aw... never mind..." She brushed up close to him and petted him on the nose. Then, she lowered her voice to a whisper, eyes twinkling mischievously.
"We can eat for free..."
-oOo-
Turns out Deku boy was a fast learner. Tatl was starting to like the kid.
"Hey! You!" she shouted, zipping over to the mark, a fruit stall which proudly advertised apples at two Rupees apiece.
The vendor, a tall partly-bald man with a moustache that covered his mouth, had to glance around for a few seconds before spotting Tatl. "Hello there, miss," he said cheerfully. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, sir," said Tatl brightly, hovering to the man's left so that he had to twist his neck to see her. "Me and my friends were arguing, and I was hoping you could settle a question for us.
"Well... sure, okay," the man said, glancing at the crowd to see if he was losing any potential customers. "What did you want to ask?"
Tatl giggled, "Well, it's um... this probably sounds kind of silly, but, er... is it true that you sell giant fruit? Like, super-big apples and lemons and stuff?"
He blinked, his eyes instinctively flicking to the nearest piece of fruit. Behind him, the Deku kid crept up on the stall, just outside of his vision.
"Giant fruit?" said the fruit seller. "No... I don't sell that..."
Tatl grinned cheekily. "You sure? 'Cause my friend, uh, Miera, she said she'd seen someone buy an apple as big as a pumpkin from you once, and bake it into the giantest pie you've ever seen."
He grinned back. "Sounds like your friend is spinning you faerie tales. If I knew where to find fruit that extraordinary I'd be a rich man."
She risked a glance behind his shoulder. Deku boy was scooping up apples and oranges into his funny little green cap. Masked by his height, if anybody else was looking their way they wouldn't see him – except that she was starting to lose the tall man's attention...
She groaned, moving up to the fruit man's ear so that he turned his head even further away from where her accomplice stood. "Guess you're right. Ooh... that little prissy, lying to me like that... hmm... hey, you wouldn't happen to have any rotten stuff lying around that I could borrow, would you?"
The fruit seller raised an eyebrow. He glanced to either side to see if anyone was watching, and then whispered back to her. "What exactly would you do to it?"
"Oh, nothing much," said Tatl, watching as her Deku friend disappeared back into the crowd. She started counting: one, two, three... "Just a harmless prank. I'd pay you back somehow. Maybe I could scare people away from the other fruit stalls or something." Five, six, seven...
He shook his head. "I don't know... I don't want to get mixed up in faerie affairs..." Nine, ten.
Tatl grinned. "Sure, sure. Anyway, thanks, gotta go!"
She well gone before he noticed anything amiss.
-oOo-
They ate the fruit in an alleyway right next to the Mayor's office, sitting propped up against a wall, with a couple of crows as their audience. The apples crunched in Link's mouth like melted snow – maybe it was just the thrill of the snatch, but these were the best he'd ever tasted.
"You're a natural thief, kid," said Tatl, perched on a lone leaf across from him. "You've really never done anything like that before?"
Link shook his head. He felt a little surprised at himself – he'd always thought of himself as having a strong moral compass, but he didn't feel even slightly guilty over stealing the fruit. Maybe if the Goddesses hadn't intervened he could have stolen things for a living... Link, King of Thieves? Somehow that didn't sound right.
Tatl yawned. "Well, good job." Without warning she zipped onto the apple in Link's hand. "Hey, mind if I have a bite?"
Link nodded and then froze, shooting her a mystified look. None of the faeries he'd ever known had needed to eat...
Tatl regarded him curiously. "Let me guess... you think faeries don't need to eat, don'tcha?" She caught his slight nod and grinned, pulling a chunk out of the apple with her hands. "Yeah, we don't need to eat. But that doesn't mean we can't."
He just kept staring at her.
Chewing on the chunk of fruit, Tatl squinted at him. "I mean... it tastes good, doesn't it? Most faeries have no idea what they're missing out on. Come on..."
She nudged the apple, encouraging him to take another bite.
-oOo-
The Mayor's office opened right on ten. With the clanging of keys the doors were unlocked from inside. A bored hand shoved them open and withdrew inside. Several people had pushed inside before Link could even get a foot in the door, all seeming to be in a great hurry and none of them stopping to hold the door open for him. He didn't even realise it closed by itself, and as he walked in it swung shut, bumping him from behind and making him fall flat on his face. With an annoyed grunt he pushed himself up, fully expecting Tatl to make some annoying joke at his expense.
"Hey, they got a new carpet!" chirped the faerie, staring awestruck at the fuzzy patterns on the floor. "And it's orange! My favourite!"
From further down the hall, somebody laughed mirthlessly. "First person to like the carpet."
At the end of the hall, kicking her heels up on a desk marked 'Secretary', was a bored-looking girl who couldn't have been older than twenty. She had green-dyed hair and wore silver earrings and an oversized purple top on which the words 'Colour me Indigo' were stitched. She didn't look up as they approached, absorbed in the difficult business of filing her nails.
Link squeaked, trying to get her attention. When she ignored him he tried again.
Slowly, unfolding her legs and arching her eyebrows, the Mayor's secretary looked them over slowly, taking in the madly-grinning faerie and the nervous Deku scrub. After a lengthy paused she turned back to her nails.
"Oh, dear," she sighed. "You on a field trip?"
Link and Tatl blinked and exchanged glances.
"Uh, no," said Tatl. "We wanted to ask the Mayor about the moon."
"The moon?" said the girl, her voice dripping with scepticism.
"Yeah, the moon," said Tatl, narrowing her eyes. "We've... well, I've been out of town for a couple of days... and we were wondering what the deal was with the moon."
The girl cocked her other eyebrow. "Were you, now?"
Link felt Tatl twitch. "Have you been outside at all this week?" she snapped. "The face in the moon... is not smiling... doesn't that seem a little totally unusual? Have you been paying any attention to anything in between doing your nails? What kind..."
Link took a few discreet steps back.
"Oh, that moon!" said the secretary with a smirk. "Why didn't you say-"
"Just let us talk to the Mayor," snarled Tatl, zooming right in front of her nose and waving a tiny fist, "before I do something you'll regret..."
Adjusting her 'Indigo' top, the secretary smiled sweetly. "I'm sorry, but the Mayor is currently in an important meeting and is not to be disturbed."
The faerie was unfazed. "Yeah? Well, when's he going to be out, huh?"
"I'm sorry, do you have an appointment?"
"Since when do we need an appointment to see our Mayor?"
"Please don't raise your voice. They're having a meeting in there."
"You know what? I don't believe you. I think you're a loser who doesn't get out enough and is lying to annoy me to make up for the fact that you don't have any friends-"
"And you're a whiny little insect who isn't going to be getting an appointment for at least another month now-"
"Oh, yeah? Well, I'll be telling the Mayor just how useless you are!"
"Did I hear a fly buzzing?"
"You... you birdbrain," spat Tatl, shooting the secretary a look of utmost loathing.
A split second later she was by Link's side again, smiling serenely. Her sudden calmness was profoundly disconcerting. "Come on, let's go," she said.
Go where?, thought Link as Tatl led him straight past the secretary's desk and towards a short corridor.
The green-haired secretary sighed, "You can't go in there without an appointment. I'm warning you." She didn't look up from her nails as they went past.
"I hope she cuts her fingers off," said Tatl, slowing as the corridor turned abruptly into a door. She cocked her head, giving Link an expectant look.
Link gingerly tried the door. It wasn't locked.
Inside: cosy sofas, plush carpets, and walls lined with portraits. There was a pungent odour in the air, which was a bit like rotten fish but might have been powerful perfume. Two faces in mid-conversation looked up at the entering guests.
Reclined on one sofa was a broad woman whose face was smothered with so much make-up that her wrinkles glowed. She sized Link up as soon he walked into the room, puffing smoke with a look of slight surprise on her face.
"Dear me..." she said loudly. "Are you a student at Deku Elementary?"
Link started to squeak and caught himself. After five seconds of silence had passed he prodded at Tatl.
"Wha...? Oh. Um, no, we're not. I want the May-"
"Are the fins damp lately?"
They spun at the interruption.
Taking up most of the other couch, with his large fishlike face and his pale-blue skin, was a Zora who looked very much like... King Zora? Link blinked; that was impossible. The Zoras, the fish-people of Hyrule, had never travelled far from his homeland, certainly not as far as this Termina place. Ah... now that he looked closely, the eyes were narrower, the face longer, the bones in different places. But the resemblance was uncanny. And who'd have thought that there were any Zoras at all this far from home? In Link's experience they didn't take well to travel on land, especially not when-
Tatl squinted. "What did you just say?"
"That's the greeting used amongst us Zora," the fishman said with a shrug.
Tatl sighed. "Oh... well, thanks, thanks a lot..."
The Zora didn't notice the sarcasm. "You can tell that to your teacher at Deku Elementary. She'd be impressed."
"We are not from Deku Elementary!" yelled Tatl, buzzing her wings angrily. "Now where's the Mayor?"
-oOo-
The green-haired secretary smirked as they scampered past. "Wrong room?"
"Your band sucks!" spat Tatl.
-oOo-
Inside the Mayor's office an argument was in full swing.
On one side of the room stood two moustached men, in cheap tight clothes that showed off their muscular bulk. They were some of the carpenters who only minutes earlier had been hard at work building the festival tower in the town square. The older of the two was standing in front, doing all the talking; the other just seemed to be there for show. They both stood, arms crossed and muscles rippling, staring daggers at the soldiers on the other side of the room.
The stripes and emblems on the soldiers' armour made them look very high-ranking indeed. With their shadowy steel helmets their eyes were invisible, lending them an almost-inhuman appearance. They both stood stiffly at attention, clutching standard-issue spears in their hands like security blankets. One of them hadn't moved for the last twenty minutes; the other one seemed to be in charge, speaking every now and then in terse, clipped syllables. They stared back at the carpenters, each side trying to out-intimidate the other.
Sitting at his desk in the crossfire was the Mayor of Clock Town, a man in his late fifties with a ridiculous moustache and goatee that did little to obscure the wrinkles and frown lines that dug into his face. His eyes darted from side to side, twitching every time somebody spoke.
"I should think," said the head carpenter, raising his voice, "that a town guard that pulled its weight wouldn't scurry away like scared rats from something as little as this. Look at the citizens. Do they seem worried by the moon?"
"Most of the townsfolk have already taken shelter without waiting for the Mayor's orders," replied the head soldier curtly. "In fact the only ones left-"
"Have you looked outside?" said the carpenter, waving his arms. "The streets are as busy as ever! If you don't want to be level-headed, Viscen, then-"
Nobody paid any attention to the faerie and the Deku scrub who slipped into the room.
"You will address me as Captain, civilian," snapped Captain Viscen. "And as I was saying, everybody except for your belligerent committee members are preparing to leave..."
"Hmph," snorted the carpenter. "Lies and more lies."
The captain lifted his head. "Mayor Dotour, Carnival Committee members, come to your senses! Order those who remain to evacuate!"
All heads in the room swivelled to the Mayor. He hunched his shoulders and sunk slightly into his chair. "Ah... hmm... well..."
"You cowards!" roared the head carpenter. "Do you actually believe the moon will fall?" He motioned up at the skylight. "I won't deny it looks different, but honestly, let's be level-headed for a moment! When has the moon ever done anything to hurt us? The confused townsfolk simply caused a panic by believing this ridiculous – this groundless – theory..."
"I'll show you groundless," muttered Viscen, his hand tightening around his spear.
The carpenter seemed to hear. "So the citizens were running around terrified, scared that this harmless pebble was going to bump them on their heads, and what did the town guard do about it? Nothing! The soldiers couldn't prevent the panic, so to cover themselves they're pretending to go along with the whole ridiculous thing! You want answers? The answer is that the carnival should not be cancelled... isn't that right, Mr Mayor?"
Mayor Dotour's mouth opened and closed; opened and closed.
"Um, excuse me?" said Tatl edgewise.
"Are you serious, Mutoh?" Captain Viscen exclaimed. "Has that giant chunk of rock failed to catch your eye?"
"Oh, I've seen it," said the carpenter, Mutoh, "believe me, I've seen it, and there's nothing to..."
Viscen talked over him. "At this time every year we are overrun by tourists! So why is the town empty?"
"Excuse me?" said Tatl loudly.
Mutoh shook his head. "Rumours like this spread like wildfire."
"It's not a rumour," said Viscen, making a conscious effort to lower his tone. "Surely you've done the maths. Everybody has. At the rate the moon is coming, it will flatten us in a little less than seventy-two hours."
Mutoh the head carpenter laughed softly. "Oh, Viscen... Captain Viscen... you're going to look like such a fool when the sun rises in three days..."
The Mayor straightened his back a little, apparently at ease now that the shouting had resided.
Viscen relaxed too. "Say what you like... but we're all going to be flattened like pancakes in three days unless we do something..."
Viscen raised his free hand palm up; the universal gesture of goodwill. "Look, Mutoh... I understand you're in a difficult position. Clearly it's your job to ensure the carnival's operation, but that's if people are here for it. I commend you for standing in the face of danger, but please don't drag the merchants and the soldiers into this."
"...mmm... hmm..." offered Mayor Dotour.
Tatl tried again. "Could I interrupt for a moment...?"
All heads in the room turned to look at her and her friend.
Trying to clear her mind, she said, "Uh, what's going on? What was that about the sky falling?"
The captain of the guard spoke. "Faerie, five days ago..." (Five? Had she really been gone for that long?) "...the moon started looking like... well, you see it now. And it's been getting closer ever since."
"Trick of the mind," grumbled Mutoh.
Viscen half-shrugged. "Whatever you want to call it, it certainly looks like the moon will land right on top of us."
"Don't go fanning the fire, now," rumbled Mutoh warningly. "The moon may be a little funny but nobody's in any danger, kids. Just ignore it and enjoy the Festival of Time and the carnival afterwards. It all happens in three days, you'll want to be around for it..."
"You can't say that!" said Viscen in disbelief. "He can't say that, can he, Mayor Dotour?"
"Er..."
"Exactly! Children, even if there was a chance that we aren't in danger, which there isn't, we have to err on the side of caution. Leave town while there's still time."
"Hah!" said Mutoh. "If the soldiers wish to run, then run, Viscen! We councilmen will stick to tradition."
"Tradition? The carnival is going to go up in flames..."
"The carnival will be a success! I've never heard of a defence unit abandoning its own town..."
The men glared at each other.
Mutoh added, "Surely Madame Aroma would say the same thing, wouldn't she, Mayor Dotour?"
The Mayor gaped as if he'd forgotten he was in the room. "Let's... let's not bring my wife into this..."
"You take refuge too!?" exclaimed Mutoh, turning on the Mayor.
"All must take refuge!" shouted Viscen, waving his spear in the air.
"On with the carnival!" Mutoh yelled right back, taking a step forward.
"Please... just..." said the Mayor, almost invisible behind his desk.
Link shut the door behind him.
-oOo-
"Can you believe that, Deku boy?" said Tatl once they were safely out of the building. "The end of the world? Fire and brimstone?" She shook her head. "This can't be happening..."
Link just pointed at the moon. Reluctantly she turned to look.
It glared down at the world with bloodshot eyes and cavernous craters streaking across its body. From this angle it seemed to be looking right at them, staring down its prey as it came in for the kill. Its jagged teeth were gnashed together, mountains grinding against one another.
Tatl stared at it for a few long seconds, breathing out slowly. Then she looked Link in the eye.
"If we're fast we can be out of the country by sundown."
He nodded.
They ran.
A/N: (Very heroic, Link, very heroic.) I felt the story wouldn't make much sense unless I included the scene in the Mayor's, so... I did. Let me know if it dragged. Still feel like I'm finding my footing with the characterisation - Link is going to have to talk eventually, but for now it's fun trying to describe his personality without using dialogue.
Hey, kids! Tatl wants you to eat more fruit!