Chapter 2: Nabooru

Hello all, welcome back to PRANK'd. Sorry for the LOOONG delay, I have a lot of homework to get thru. And, since Memorial Day, I stopped writing altogether the weekend. I haven't had the heart. But that's not the point. This is my new chapter, enjoy it while it lasts.
Majora: GerudoGirl owns this story. DEAL WITH IT!

Dark and Link met in Link's house the next day, full of triumphant mischief. Before Dark left the day before, Link asked him to write a list of people to prank. The eager shadow promptly went home to plot and cackle in revenge.

"Do you have a list of people you want to prank?" asked Link eagerly the next day. Dark nodded, grinning, and let his bundle of paper go. It dropped to the floor and rolled all the way outside, down the ladder, and came to a rest at the entry gate to Ordon Village.

Link had an O.o expression. "Okay . . . who's on your list?"

"Well, there's Ruto, Anju, Kafei, Vaati, Ganondorf, Darunia, Volvagia,Rauru, that crazy dancer dude . . . um, the one that looks like Elvis, Tingle, Medli, Makar . . ."

"Wait, how do you know about them?" Link interrupted. "They exist in a 200-year-in-the-future alternate timeline!"

Dark sighed patiently, with the air of one confronting a very slow toddler. "Link, my friend, it's called a freaking plot hole. Now shut up. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Makar, Purlo, Agitha, that dude that stands outside her castle, Ilia, Beth, Colin, Bo, Renado, Luda, Vaati, Veran, Vaati, Vaati, Ganondorf, Vaati, Zant, Onox, Vaati . . ."

"Why do you hate Vaati so much?" inquired Link. Dark's face . . . darkened.

Flash
"Hi, Dark," said Vaati enthusiastically. "Oh, is that a sandwich? Can I have it?" without waiting for an answer, he snatched it from Dark's hand. "Thanks!" he said, running off with the sandwich. He distinctly saw Vaati take a hearty bite with his vampire fangs.

"Hey! Get back here! That cost me fifteen dollars!"

Link had an extreme O.o expression on his face. "Okay, that's stupid . . ." he said frankly.

"What was that?!" Dark's eyes glowed red, his sword began to hum evilly. Actually, it was humming Mario's theme song. Dark glared at it. It squeaked, leaped out of its sheath, and began to scramble away.

"Never mind," squeaked Link. "But you lost your sword."

"It'll come back," replied Dark dismissively, waving his hand. He took a sandwich from his pocket and bit into it. "Mmm . . . ."

"Hi, Dark!" He choked on the bit of cheese. Nabooru dashed into the room, beaming. "So nice to see you again. Hey, is that a sandwich?!" without asking, she plucked it from his hands and took a bite. "Thanks!" she said cheerfully, and ran away.

Dark's face went darker, his eyes glowed, and his silvery-black hair began to gleam. The sword eagerly slipped back into his hand, ready to kill. "That. Does. It," he said coldly. "That is the LAST time someone does that to me!" he lifted his head and howled,
"I WILL AVENGE MY SANDWICH!"

He rushed from the room, chanting, "Prank Nabooru!" and screeching war cries. Link was left alone in the room, eyes nearly popping out of his head, with only one thought in his mind.

"What the hell, Dark? It was just a sandwich . . . ."

Later:

"So, let me get this straight. We have to cross into another reality and deal with their Ganondorf, cross a wasteland, and scale a giant woman with one hell of a figure, just to prank their Nabooru, who somehow managed to come here to steal my sandwich?"

Link sighed. "It's called a plot hole, Darkie," he mocked. "And yes. So shut up, and stop making run-on sentences. Microsoft Word is yelling at the author!"

Dark frowned. "What the hell? Some cracked authoress is putting us through this torture?"

And suddenly, the flawless, beautiful (yeah right) authoress typed in a holy command, and Dark wore a bright pink skirt and white tank top, arms becoming thin and white like a woman's. The only problem was, he was still a man, through and through.

"What the hell, authoress?!" he screamed to the air.

FINE! And in a puff black smoke, his arms and clothes were back to normal. In addition, the authoress promised not to interfere, but write things as they actually happened.

Link sighed. "Anyway, we're here." The Desert Fortress stood there in all its un-advanced, rather pitiable glory. Sandstone walls supported the rough but effective buildings, where hundreds of beautiful redheads patrolled, leaving not much to the imagination with their skimpy clothing. Link looked over at Dark. The shadow now sported a blank look, eyes glazed, a faint trail of drool issued from his mouth at the sight of all the women. "Dark!"

"Hot . . . chicks . . ." he said, whistling. "Damn. Link, can I keep one?"

He looked away, disgusted. "They're human, not puppies, Dark. Come on." He marched purposefully up to the gates. It took him a few moments to realize he was alone. "DARK!"

The shadow ignored him, instead choosing to flirt with an especially pretty girl who stood beside the Fortress entrance. She wore a long, heavy reddish skirt and white, off-the-shoulder ruffled blouse.

"So, you're a thief, huh?" asked Dark smoothly. She smiled charmingly. "I like girls that don't stay on the right side of the law . . . ."

"DARK!" he flinched. This time, the menacing voice wasn't Link's. It was Ganondorf's. He glared venomously at the shadow. "I don't care what world you're from, learn boundaries!"

Dark scowled. "Shut up. I'm busy." He turned his attention back to the girl.

"Are you flirting with her?" the Gerudo male demanded.

"Yeah, I am," Dark growled. "So get lost."

"It is fine," the girl said quickly, noting the deadly look on Ganondorf's face. He scowled and turned away, muttering about idiotic creations and anti-heroes. Thankfully, no one paid any attention to him.

"Wow, that dude needs a chill-pill," Dark remarked, running a hand over his hair. "Nearly gutted me with that monster sword . . . ."

She smiled icily. "My father is overprotective, yes?" she inquired. Dark grinned.

"Yeah, he— WHAAAAT?! FATHER?!" the shadow shrieked, "MOTHER FARORE!"

"What is the matter, Dark?" the girl asked innocently, barely concealing a smirk. "So what if I am the only child of a Gerudo King? I am only a Gerudo. A well-liked Gerudo with an extremely protective father that is a foot taller than you are and stronger than you will ever hope to be."

Poor Dark started to hyperventilate. Her words scared him senseless, even worse than before. Mother Goddess, he thought wildly, I was HITTING on Ganondorf's KID! Then he stopped. Wait, she's pretty good-looking to have him as a father . . . I wonder what her mother looks like . . .?

Link grabbed his counterpart's collar. "Perverted thoughts later," he said firmly. "Sorry to bother you, Miss . . .?"

She smiled serenely. "Arina."

"Ah. Let's go, Darkie!" he hauled the gibbering shadow away.

"Father, Ganondorf, Gerudo, hottie, chick, GANONDORF?!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. Let's go."

Much Later:

Finally, after wandering through the desert, nearly being killed by ReDeads, and a slight misunderstanding with the Spirit Guide (Dark tried to hit on him, evidently not knowing he wasn't a veiled Sand Goddess sent to help them) they reached the Desert Fortress. Link smirked evilly. "Got the supplies?"

Dark nodded and dumped his sack on the ground. Inside was a large bundle of armor and about a gallon of superglue. "This'll be fun," he cackled. Link nodded and showed him the way to Nabooru's private chambers . . . .

Nabooru snored delicately, fast asleep on an enormous pile of cushions in the Sand Goddess Temple. Dark Link's sandwich sure was good, she thought in her dreams. Gotta thank him tomorrow . . . maybe steal another sandwich . . . .

BAM! She jumped to attention, blankets falling haphazardly around her. As she did so, she accidentally banged her head on the low ceiling. "Ouch!" She rubbed her eyes. "Damn authoress . . . ."

Nabooru looked around. Except for her plushie collection in one corner (a plushie of everybody she knew), the room was empty. "Hello?" she yelled to thin air. "Ganondorf, if this is you, you're acting so like a little brother. I don't care if you're the older one, you're such a . . . never mind." Cautiously, she slipped on her sword belt and opened the door.

"OH MOTHER DIN!" she backed up to avoid a battle-axe to the skull. An eight-foot-tall, armor-wearing monster, known as an Iron Knuckle, stood in the doorway. With a growl, it barged thoughtlessly into the room. "You want my plushies, don't you?!" she yelled. "Well, you won't get them! My Gibdo maybe just be a skinnier ReDead plushie with toilet paper wrapped around it, but it's awesome!"

The Iron Knuckle roared angrily and chopped at the flagstones with its axe. Nabooru squeaked in fear, and heard the metal creak. The axe was about to descend again. Nabooru jumped away from the blade, which cut her Vaati plushie in two. "Noo! Vaati!" she dove to avoid a horizontal chop from the monster. "PLUSHIES! Protect the plushies!" just before it was cut in two, Nabooru rescued the Metroid stuffed toy from certain death, then rolled aside to avoid her own death.

I gotta kill this thing! she thought wildly, diving around the Knuckle. She watched it carefully. Why is it moving like that? she wondered. Indeed, it moved erratically, sometimes having difficulty progressing across the room. The axe blows were weak. Several times, the axe dropped limply to the ground instead of lopping off her head.

Angered, she drew her swords. "I'll teach you to mess with the Plushie Master!" and bounded into the fight. She slashed at the Knuckle's metal armor ten times before it had chance to move. The only problem was, instead of the grating noises and the ring of metal on metal, she heard a Squeak!

She looked down at her swords. "WHAT?!" They were fake! Instead of blades, rubber Cucoos were glued to fake, plastic hilts, sporting a comically melancholy look. They flapped pointlessly in response to their beating. Even the Iron Knuckle looked like it was laughing at her. It had already lost interest in the battle axe, anyway.

Nabooru, on the other hand, wasn't amused. "Who messed with my swords?!" she screamed furiously. "Ganondorf?! Is it you?! Well, I'm about to DIE because of it!"

The Iron Knuckle paused, and Nabooru waited fearfully, clutching her Sonic plushie close to her heart. It raised the axe, thought better of it, and placed the axe on the stone floor. Suddenly, the helmet of the Iron Knuckle popped off. Two hooded stuck their heads out the neck hole. They cackled evilly, tossed Nabooru's swords back, and clunked awkwardly away in the armor.

O.o . . .

"What the HECK?!" Fuming, she picked up her swords, tossed the fake ones in the corner (narrowly missing her Luneth plushie), and stuffed them back in their respective sheaths.

A tiny card stuck to one hilt, so Nabooru impatiently ripped it off and read:

Dear poor, pathetic person,
You have been PRANK'd by the Masters of Prankdom! While we laugh at your expense, you cry and yell in frustration. However, we think our fun is more important that you are.
You'll never find us, you'll never identify us. We are ANON!
Sincerely, Dark and Link
P.S. That's for taking my sandwich!

Nabooru scowled. "Dark and Link, eh? Jeez, Link's so stupid; he wrote this on the back of a map that leads straight to his house!"

And, so saying, she lovingly rearranged her plushies and repaired Vaati with her awesome Sage powers, pledging revenge upon the two morons that currently sat outside the Spirit Temple, laughing their heads off.

Hey, dudes, it wasn't too funny, but . . . I'm new to humor, forgive me. Also, I haven't had a good few days; Memorial Day always brings me down. I listened to The Ghost of You on the same day, made me cry a LOT. So, umm . . . yeah, special thanks to GrayFireStorm, Onion 1122, LittleMissEvil, sakurahanaalice, Tiger-Samba, Lavender-meets-Seagreen, The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule, and IUH-Byakaringan. You guys all ROCK! :) :) :)
Majora: Quit trying to increase the word count and close the blasted chapter. Bye folks! Be sure to review!