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Chapter 2: Heart on Your Sleeve

Disappointed I spoiled the fun, she says, "Spencer."

I disagree with that answer by shaking my head. "Spencer Carlin?" Ashley nods her head. "We only hung out a few weeks and we didn't even date. There's no way I could've fallen in love with her in that time."

"Time doesn't determine love's progression," she says. Before I can respond, she turns the movie back on. On the screen I see me sitting against a tree in the park, reading a book. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.

Completely engaged in the book, I remain still against the tree. A (then) anonymous girl walks up to me, asking, "Is that Crammen's new book?"

I check the page number before glancing up. "Yea, I'm hooked. I haven't stopped reading since I got it."

She asks, "Is it better than his previous ones?"

I smile reassuringly, "Definitely. His others were just blah and cliché. This one is thrilling and suspenseful. Actually, all of his books got me through freshman year of college so I shouldn't be complaining." I laugh quietly.

She exclaims, "That's how I felt!" She corrects herself. "I mean about the previous ones. I haven't read his new one yet. I would've gone insane without some way to vent freshman year."

"I figured that's what you meant," I smile to comfort once again.

"I tend to not make sense from time to time," she admits.

"I took a course in Communications so I could be your interpreter when necessary," I say flirtatiously.

"Pretty soon I'll need one on speed dial." She giggles quietly to herself while nodding her head.

I can remember sitting there that day, knowing with every sentence being exchanged in the conversation, I was making myself later from meeting up with Hannah, but frankly, I didn't care. She and I spent quite a while just talking about whatever came to either of our minds: the weather, sports, even plane rides versus car rides. I felt such a relief talking to that girl that day that I completely blocked out anything previously on my mind. It would appear to be a trivial conversation to most, but all of the weight on my shoulders I felt at that point in my life seemed to have lifted off while I was talking to her.

An older woman raises her voice a few yards from where I am seated. "Let's go Aaron. It's already 3:30."

The kid whines back, "Alright mom."

I check my phone for the time. It's 3:30 on the dot. I say, "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I was supposed to meet my..." I pause to enter a white lie into the sentence. "…my sister about 10 minutes ago, but obviously lost track of time." I push off of the tree to pick myself up. I brush the dirt off of my pants and explain, "If I don't leave now, it won't be pretty." I chuckle. "It was nice talking to you."

"It was nice meeting you too." We start to distance ourselves from each other, going our separate ways. She points to the book in my hand, "Hope you enjoy it."

I giggle like a school girl. "Thanks." The distance gets greater between us as we walk in opposite directions. My phone rings and I hesitantly pick it up. "Hello?"

The person on the other line is inaudible, but I can remember that moment like as if it happened yesterday. I start to walk slower because I'm paying more attention to the phone call than actually getting to where I need to be. "I'll be there in a few minutes, I promise. Bye." I ended the conversation before it got too deep.

"Hey!" I hear echo behind me. I peak over my shoulder to see what's going on. Little did I know, the girl I was just talking to was trying to get my attention. She jogs up to where I'm standing and suggests, "My friends and I are throwing an annual 'end of summer' party at my house this Saturday. You're welcomed to come if you'd like." She places her hands into her pockets, twirling slightly from nervousness. "I mean, if it's alright with your girlfriend and all."

How did she know I have a girlfriend? Wild guess, I assume. I nod my head, "I'll make sure it's okay with her. My name's Ashley by the way."

She puts her hand out to shake mine and says, "I'm Spencer. It's nice to meet you Ashley."

The scene ends right there. I ask Ashley, "Why'd you stop it there?" All I hear are snores from the seat in front of me. "Dude!"

She awakes in a startling way, "What!"

"Why'd you stop the movie?"

"Can't you see?" She pauses. "It was so boring that it put me to sleep."

I insist, "Well, put it back. I was actually enjoying it for once."

Ashley fast forwards to that night and presses play. She nuzzles her head into her seat to fall back asleep.

"I didn't know what to bring so I didn't bring anything," I throw out that excuse.

She responds, "I won't kick you out for it." I thank her by grinning. I glance around to see if there is anyone I know at the party. I know it's a long-shot, but I am curious regardless. This town is pretty small so I bet by the end of the night I am bound to see someone I know. But for the meantime, I want to keep my status low-key. "It's a little quieter outside if you'd like to go out there."

I reply in a positive manner, "Wow, you're a mind reader too."

She starts to walk towards the back door. She says, "It's one of my better qualities." She stops right before opening up the door. "You want a drink?"

I shrug my shoulders, "Sure."

She grabs me a drink from the fridge and then we head out of the house. I let the door close behind me before tapping the top of the soda can. She catches me off-guard, "You don't really believe in that, do you?" She leads me to a fire with many tree stumps surrounding it. We take two stumps relatively close to each other.

I pop the tab back to hear the bubbles sizzle. "Go on, make fun of the fact I still believe in some weird, impossible myth, even though I should've stopped believing in such nonsense years ago." I nervously laugh thereafter.

"…I was just going to say I do too. I even tap Yoohoo cans."

I quickly acknowledge my embarrassment and proceed to drink my soda while glancing around. I can't help but notice the environment surrounding me is practically perfect. The moon is out and shining brightly, reflecting off of the ocean, while multiple stars fill the night sky. Then there's the fire blazing in front of me and a slightly subdued party in the background. And the air has an unbelievable crispness to it. It's…perfect.

Spencer mumbles a statement to me, but I'm in my own little world right about now.

"Huh?" I ask quickly as I jerk my head towards her.

"Glad you made it—actually more shocked than anything."

"Why?"

"It's not every day a stranger invites you to a party at her house, is it?" she inquires.

I laugh and shake my head at the same time. I answer honestly, "You just had this reassuring essence about you."

She smiles as she blatantly disagrees with something that I said. "Although that is very charming and flattering, I can tell it's a total lie."

My eyebrows frown slightly after hearing that comment. I say, "Honestly, that's what I th—"

She interrupts, "No, I mean that's not the real reason why you're here. You wanted a break from your girlfriend."

Damn, she's good. I take a few moments to process a response. "You're right." I pause. "I thought it was gonna be a lot of fun when she came home for the summer, yet it's been anything but." I expect her to respond in some way, but she doesn't. "I wanted to have some fun for once, especially since I'm off from school."

She nods her head in concurrence."Well, you've got approximately a month until school begins. What would you like to do?"

I start to answer in the movie, but Ashley wakes up and pauses it. "Now do you realize why she's the one?"

I recall everything I've seen in the movie so far. "We didn't talk about much."

Ashley studies the screen. "Hmm." She fast forwards the film for reasons I don't know. "That's because we didn't get to the good part yet," she explains. Before she presses play, she notes, "Wake me up when it's over with."

Spencer and I are now walking along the beach, about to talk about something. "I was born in this area, but I moved around a lot when I was younger," I say.

"That sounds ridiculously fun. I would love to travel wherever, especially since I just graduated," she says enthusiastically.

I hesitate to say, "I moved around for other reasons… not traveling."

Spencer listens more intently, as she responds. "Such as…"

"My parents were killed in a car crash when I was little, so my aunt took me in and raised me until she got sick when I was fourteen." As I watch this in third-person view, I'm totally shocked at how open I was that night.

"And then what?" Spencer waits anxiously for me to complete my story.

I take a deep breath and exhale. "…And then I was put in a foster home until my adoptive parents took me in six months later."

It seems she's analyzing all that has been said. She responds a few moments later. "That's the reason why you're afraid of commitment."

"You're a pro at this guessing game, aren't you?"

"I minored in Psychology." She smiles. I start to slow down, mentally and physically. I'm so screwed. I've had enough psychologists try to analyze me and tell me what's best for me. "I won't 'psycho-analyze' you or anything." That 'reassuring essence' about her is quickly diminishing. Comfortingly, she states, "That's the last thing I would do."

Ashley stops the movie, causing the screen to go blue. I wait for Ashley to prove me wrong or give me some sort of life lesson. She turns around like a little kid unable to sit in her seat. "If you didn't see it, you're blind," she says bluntly.

"See what?" I ask in a confused tone.

She slaps me on the forehead as if it were a V-8 commercial. "That's why you fell in love with her." Because I was afraid she was going to act like every other psychologist I've seen? "You only knew the chick about three hours total at that point, but you felt comfortable enough to tell her things that even you wouldn't want to tell yourself."

I speak my opinion, "That doesn't mean I was in love with her."

She raises her voice somewhat, "Hey! I'm your subconscious. Don't undermine my intelligence." I give her a second to cool down before saying anything.

"If everything was so 'perfect,' then why aren't we together now?"

She raises her voice to the same pitch as before. "Because you put up barriers like the idiot that you are." I remain still with a blank stare on my face. "You still don't believe me, do you?"I don't know what answer to give, so I remain silent. "I'll show you the exact point at which you started to like her." This should be interesting. She continues the movie with one click of the remote.

The scene is with Spencer and me still walking along the water, but a little later in the night. "I should be heading home, got a busy day tomorrow."

"Way to be a party pooper," she jokes. We turn around to head back to the house. I grab my purse and throw away my drink. "So what does your girlfriend have set on your itinerary for tomorrow?"

I scoff, "I'm afraid to know." We walk to the front of the house where my car is parked.

She laughs. "Well, if you're not too busy being whipped, a couple of friends and I are going ice skating in the afternoon." She pauses. "I don't know if you find that more exhilarating than following your girlfriend around, but I figured I'd ask anyway."

I chuckle, "I think I'll take you up on that offer, but I have to check with my parole officer first." Laughter follows that comment for both parties.

"Okay, goodnight."

"Night," I say quietly. I search through my bag to find my car keys, but all I keep doing is fumble everything but my keys, around. Plus, the lack of streetlights isn't helping.

Someone shouts from afar, "Ashley Davies?" I pick my head up, looking everywhere for a head to start coming towards me. Again, there is barely any light around the area, so I'm about as blind as a bat right now. A girl with dark brown hair paces towards me as if she were on a mission. I pray to the man above that it's not one of my ex-girlfriends. The girl becomes more and more clear and finally I notice who it is. It's my freshman-year roommate, Carly. She races over to give me a big, friendly hug. She pulls away and enthusiastically says, "Crazy seeing you here."

I say, excited to see her again, "Right back at you."

She quickly notices that I'm preparing to leave to go somewhere, most likely home. "Leaving already?" she asks rhetorically.

I answer, "Yeah, its way past my bedtime." I continue to search for my long-lost keys in my duffle bag of a purse.

"What, does your girlfriend want you home early?" she asks in a whiny tone. I disregard the comment and continue to shuffle through my purse. She grabs my arm playfully, "Come on, let's get you a drink." I reluctantly follow, but I only follow because I figure I would find my keys somewhere in the house.

The movie skips over to the next morning, when I wake up with many people surrounding me. Spencer points out first, "It's about time you woke up."

Completely unsure about where I am, I start off simple. "What happened last night?"

Carly helps me up out of the bed and says, "Let's get you some breakfast first."

Spencer interjects, "I don't think her stomach would appreciate that very much so let's not."

My forehead begins to throb with such excruciating pain. I rub the area where the pain is come from and feel a slight bump on my head. So much for keeping my night out a secret from Hannah. I pull the covers off of me as I persist, "I should really get going."

"Whoa there sailor," Spencer says quickly. She examines the bump on my head as if she were a doctor. She hesitantly grazes it. "How bad does it hurt?"

Lethargically I murmur, "Do they sell morphine over-the-counter?"

"Seems like you're good to go," Carly blurts out, knowing I'm myself again. She steps away from the bed, allowing me to drop down from it. Do I still have my clothes on from last night? I look down. Thank goodness. I slip on my sandals, which are lying next to the bed.

Spencer suggests, "Let me grab some ice for that for the ride home. It'll make it feel slightly better and you can throw away the evidence before your girlfriend becomes skeptical." She grins and leads Carly and I out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. Surprisingly, the house is practically immaculate, considering the house was virtually packed last night. Plus, there's no one lying on the floors piss drunk.

As Spencer grabs a bunch of ice cubes and a Ziploc bag, Carly grabs two sets of keys from the counter. She tosses a set to me and states, "Don't forget these." Did Carly take my keys last night when I was desperately searching for them? I notice my purse is also on the counter near Carly. I shuffle over towards her and place my keys on top of my purse. "I'm gonna head out," she announces. She looks at me, "We need to hang out so give me a call whenever you're free." I regard the comment by nodding and she waves her hand and walks herself out of the house.

I hear the click of the Ziploc bag and know that it's time to hit the road. She carries the ice to the other side of the counter. She offers, "I'll walk you out." We walk together to my car then Spencer hands over the bag of ice. The sun blazes brightly right down on us. "Hope your girl doesn't push you too much today. You're going to need a lot of rest after last night."

I place the bag on the bump without putting too much pressure on it. "What even happened?"

"You had fun. It seemed like it had been a while since," Spencer indicates. I put a little more pressure on the bump with the ice and grunt a little. She points at my head. "And that happened because you tripped and hit the coffee table."

Embarrassed at my clumsiness, I try to make a joke of it. "I'm glad my head broke the fall." Spencer shakes her head and snickers. "How's the coffee table?"

She nods her head and responds, "It clearly won the battle." We both laugh. After a few moments, she announces, "You better go. I don't want you to get in any more trouble than you already are in." I unlock my car with my keys and walk over to the driver's side. "Give me a call when you get home so I know you got home safe." I remember feeling a rush of a emotions right then, but I couldn't sort them out. All I knew at that point was that I felt different, in a good way I believe.

As the movie continues to play, I say loud enough to wake Ashley up, "Alright I see what you're talking about. Now what?"

Ashley takes the DVD out of the player on the side of her and flips it over. Se slides it back into the player. "Well, now we see the ending of the relationship."

"Wonderful," I whisper to myself.

The screen then shows Spencer and me standing next to her fully-packed car, ready to leave. Spencer was heading to Paris to spend the next year or so with her uncle. Her uncle is an artist and thought it would be a good experience for Spencer to spend some time over there so she could get a grasp on what exactly she wants to do with her Art Major/Psychology Minor degree.

"I hope you had at least some fun before you go back to school," Spencer smiles and states.

I giggle, "I had so much fun, thanks to you."

"I'm glad. I had a lot of fun too." She pulls in closer to me to give a mutual hug. "Don't be a stranger while I'm over there. Give me a call sometime, whenever you feel like talking, even if you're girlfriend doesn't approve."

I nod in agreement. She hops into her car as I state, "Good luck and have fun over there." Spencer gives me her signature smile and then drives off to the airport.

The movie remains focused on me standing in the middle of the street watching Spencer drive away. Could the "producer" put any more emphasis on her leaving? Ashley glares at me like usual and questions, "Any comments, concerns or questions?"

I gaze at the screen in front of me. I look down at the floor beneath me. "That was the last time I saw her."

"...And you never kept in contact with her because you were too much of a wimp."

"Look, it's not even like that!" I defend myself.

"Do you miss her?"

"Yea," I hesitantly answer.

She waits a few moments while she looks at me intensely. "Then I think you're ready to go back."

As the room quickly fades to a bright white, I raise my voice and ask, "Back where!"