A/N: As you'll see this doesn't count as a traditional chapter. An editor/publisher friend of mine recently made a Livejournal post in which he suggested authors write a letter from the perspective of one of their characters and this is what came out for me. It's just a little thing but I felt it was worth attaching to its story/character. I didn't have this beta'd since it's really just meant as an exercise. Still, I hope you like it.
As always characters property of Stephenie Meyer.
Edward,
I hope that you can forgive me for what I've done, for what I'm about to do. I see now that you were right to be angry about my pregnancy yet in retrospect I still would have gone through with it. But I would have done one thing differently. I would have run as far away from you and the rest of the Cullens as possible. Then you would be alive. All of you. And I could take a small comfort in that I'd have a piece of you in the form of Renesmee.
But I didn't make that choice. I didn't know what would happen despite your warnings. I always so foolishly believed that everything would be all right, that we would get our happily ever after. And your entire family paid the price for my naiveté.
She's safe by the way. She's with Charlie and no one knows about her and I intend to keep it that way. I plan to end my life. It's a beautiful sunny day and I'm sitting on top of a hill just outside of Volterra. I'll head into town and face the same fate you once did. It seems only fair and I'm confident I'll succeed.
I wonder if you were right. Is there no heaven or hell? Or if there is are we relegated to the latter? Will I find you there or will God have mercy on us? I want so badly to believe he will. Renesmee is good, your family was good, you were good. You were more than good. You were my everything and despite still having ties to this Earth I find that I cannot stomach it without you here. My body literally aches in your absence. The hole is back; stronger than it ever had been before because I know you are no longer out there somewhere.
Can you see this letter from where you are? Can you finally hear my thoughts and know what I'm writing, what I want to say to you? I hope so. I know that I should destroy this, that I should probably burn this but I can't bring myself to. Instead I'm going to put it in a bottle and send it off into the ocean. Somehow that feels better to me, like maybe if it's there you'll still be able to see it even if we are never reunited beyond this life.
I love you. A thousand times I love you. And I don't regret one second spent with you.
Always Yours,
B.