My truck covered all noise coming from the outside world, creating a wall between me and reality. The water on the road splashed onto my windshield making tear drops that mimicked my own as they fell down the glass. I thought of Edward's face, the icy stone look that engulfed his features and caused my heart more grief. I loved him more than anything in the world, but my mind didn't want to cooperate with my heart. As it yelled for me to distance myself my heart tried desperately to pull me closer to him.
I knew it wasn't his fault, it was mine. Victoria was here for me and me alone. If it wasn't for me Charlie would be safe right now. He would be coming home from work into our house and he would make an inedible concoction for dinner, then he would sit in that ridiculous recliner of his and watch the game. Then tomorrow he would go fishing with some of his friends, he would be talking to Billy Black because they would still be friends even though Jake was a wolf because it wouldn't matter. Charlie's foolish daughter would be with her mother in Jacksonville causing no trouble at all, boy friendless and brainy she would complete high school as a normal boring 18 year old. It sounded so good, but deep down inside I was selfish, happy that I had come to Forks, happy to be in love with a vampire, happy to be clueless when it came to my father's health. The latter being because I was terrified.
I stepped into the mud as I climbed out of my truck, the goo sticking to my shoes. As I walked into the house I removed the extra key and locked the front door. After that I walked all over the house locking every window and every door I could find. I knew he would come even though I asked him not to, but I was prepared in a way he could never imagine.
I pulled on a pair of sweats and a ratty old t-shirt, pulling myself further into a funk that surrounded me like fog. I climbed into bed and found myself in an empty dream, an inky black tomb for my soul to hide in.