And here's chapter 2! I'll try to post it every Friday from now on until it's done :)

Enjoy, L.

I enter the cabin and look around. Cas is sitting on the bed looking at me as I take the sight in. The room is almost empty – all it has is a big bed Cas is sitting on, a closet, a rug on the floor and a table. I walk to the table. There's a mess on it – dishes, bottles, papers and all that, but I only look at the framed picture there. It was taken in Bobby's front yard – I can see his house in the background. Cas is sitting on the bench wearing a slightly bewildered yet amused expression while Bobby is in his wheelchair, right in front of him, hollering with laughter.

"He yelled at me for ruining his stew that day. He asked me to put some salt in it and I didn't know how much some salt is. It turns out a handful is too much… I went outside to get out of his way then, but I think you chewed him out for yelling and Bobby came to get me back. He said he'd teach me how to cook his 'hobo stew' and I said I wasn't too fond of cannibalism. That's when you snapped the picture."

I grin at him.

"Bobby is a grumpy old bastard, but he always liked you."

"I know." He says silently and drops his eyes to his hands. "He didn't make it. Croats."

"Croats?" I ask and there's a tight burning knot in my stomach.

"Infected with croatoan. Croats." He clarifies. He shakes his head trying to pull himself out of whatever it is he's thinking about. "I used to have another picture - one of you teaching me to shoot a shotgun. But the fearless leader deemed it inappropriate and threw it away. I promised him to slit his throat in the middle of the night if he touched this one too. It seems we understood each other."

"Cas…"

"He told you to come here, didn't he? Am I to babysit you?" He asks without looking at me.

"Cas, what happened to you? What happened to me?" I ask him and even I can hear the desperation in my voice. Cas is about to say something, but at that precise moment a really good looking brunette pokes her head in.

"Cas, you wanna… Oh. Dean… I didn't know you were here." She stares at me surprised. I suppose I don't come visiting much. She continues. "It's been a while."

Cas chuckles darkly and slides off the bed. He strides towards her, wraps his arm around her waist and pushes her outside. Since there's no door, just the beaded curtain, I can hear them perfectly.

"Sorry April, it looks like tonight I'm otherwise engaged." He laughs and then they're silent for a long time. I assume he's making out with her. This is beyond bizarre. I sit on the edge of the bed. "Come tomorrow. And bring June with you."

When he comes back I can't take it anymore.

"Listen, man, you gotta tell me everything! This place or time or whatever is fucking with me and not in a good way! And what's with the chicks named for months?!"

Cas laughs and flops down on the bed beside me. "Coincidence." He stretches again and can't stop myself from asking.

"Cas, do you eat enough? I mean you're too damn thin. I know it's the end of the world and all, but the other me seems fine."

"Ah, well, being a leader has its perks." He grins. "And being the one the leader hates makes grocery shopping somewhat complicated."

"He doesn't hate you."

"Oh yes he does. He's been most insistent on that account."

"What does that even mean? He doesn't give you food?"

"He doesn't give anyone food. There are rations for everyone in this camp, but they are not too… plentiful. Besides, there are kids here, you know, teenagers. They need more food than I do, so I try to share. And then... Fearless takes others on the raids where everyone can stock up on what they want. I don't have this luxury."

He laughs again even though I see nothing funny about it.

"It doesn't matter much. There are other forms of decadence I enjoy much more than food. And I have friends, I manage. He gets me my pills though and that's all that matters."

"Pills? So you do drugs now?"

"It's the end of the world, Dean. Live a little."

"Why does he get you pills? I mean… Why would he?"

"Because I went away when he didn't. This life… It's pointless. And I'm pretty useless – I'm sure he must've mentioned that. Anyway, when he refused to take me on the raid and refused to bring me my pills, I told him I'd leave. He pointed me to the general direction of the gates." He laughs bitterly again. "I don't think he believed me. He was so used to me always crawling back to him… Well, no wonder, I did always crawl back, from the first time I met… you. But… It finally dawned on me that there was no reason for me to stay or to come back anymore. Bobby was dead and the leader made sure I know what a waste of space I am. So I just took my gun and walked away. I suppose, all things considered, I should feel lucky that in the three days I was away I didn't meet the group of croats. I met some – I avoided the most and killed a few. Anyway, our fearless leader found me on the fourth day. He made me some promises he has yet to break. One of them was to make sure I get my pills."

"This is so messed up…" I mutter and he smiles at me. I think it's his first real smile I've seen so far.

"Hey! He's doing his best, alright? Don't judge him, you don't know how it's been for him."

"Still think he's worth saving?" I ask looking at him. It takes him few moments to reply.

"More than ever." He says seriously and then jumps off the bed. "Enough of this heart to heart. We're going out. It's still early, we can sneak out without too many people seeing you."

He opens the closet and pulls out a bottle of Jack and hands it over to me. He digs some more and pulls out a bag of cookies.

"Ha! I knew I had something." He grins triumphantly. "And if you get fussy on me, I'll kick your ass."

"I won't get fussy, but could you dig some more? Maybe there's hamburger somewhere there?" I smile and he laughs. Properly this time.

"Hamburger! Damn, I think last time I got one of those was back at Bobby's. He made mean hamburgers. Of course we had to find and kill a cow to get them… Totally worth it!"

"Kill a cow? Now that's a reality check!"

"Tell me about it! Mike almost wept. Of course when he got his first mouthful of Bobby's burger, the sorrow was forgotten."

"Who's Mike?" I ask.

"A friend." He says simply. "Alright, let's get going. Grab that blanket, will you?"

I do as he says and we're out of the cabin. He moves silently, stealthily and I can't help but compare his easy movements with the purposeful stride of Castiel I know. This Cas' way seems to work just fine, because he notices those few awake people way before they even look our way and we manage to get out of the camp without anyone seeing us. It doesn't take long before we reach the clearing in the forest and I realize we're at the lake. The sun's barely up and it's so peaceful here it's surreal. Cas takes the blanket from me and spreads it out on the shore. He sits on it and tugs at my arm for me to sit down as well.

"My favorite place on Earth." He says a tad sarcastically. I don't think he's lying though.

"What are we doing here Cas?" I ask and he grins.

"I was hoping to get a drink with a friend I haven't seen in a while. You game?"

"Will you tell me what happened here?"

"As much as I can. There are things the leader has to tell you. They are not mine to say."

"Why do you call him that?"

"If the shoe fits…" He drawls. "Besides, it pisses him off."

I laugh at that. "Alright, let's get that drink."

And that's exactly what we do. We drink, eat stale cookies and Cas talks. He tells me about angels leaving in 2010. He tells me how his brother Balthazar came to him a night before and begged him to go with them, but he chose to stay. He tells me how for few months after he and other Dean lived at Bobby's while Cas adjusted to his new life as a human. He tells me how he helped Bobby with his books and translations and how other Dean taught him to drive. He tells me how he learned to shoot. He tells me how he taught other Dean to fight like an angel – efficiently and ruthlessly. He tells me how they went on hunts, travelling together and always going back to Bobby's at the end. He tells me how every week he called Sam to let him know other Dean was okay and to hear that Sam was too. He tells me about the string of disasters – tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods that Lucifer conjured. He tells me how other Dean took the news about that as the hit after hit, blaming himself, counting the dead. He tells me how Bobby and Cas tried to snap the other Dean out of it, convince it wasn't his fault. He tells me how Detroit was destroyed and that after that they never heard from Sam again. He tells me how other Dean stopped talking after that and how for months Cas and Bobby tried to coax a word out of him. He tells me about the first news of croatoan virus – how it spread like wildfire and before anyone knew it, it reached the state of pandemic. He tells me how the other Dean snapped out of his nearly catatonic state and made the decision to move from Bobby's to the camp and gather survivors. From then on, he refers to him as 'the leader'. He tells me how Bobby refused to go and how Cas himself wanted to stay, but knew the leader needed help. He tells me how the leader started gathering people, organizing raids, rations, tracking supplies, stationing guards and endlessly looking for the Colt. He tells me how around the middle of 2012 he returned to Bobby, not wanting to be part of the camp anymore. He tells me how the leader came for him and dragged him back to the camp, saying he owed him for his life. He tells me how Bobby came with them, because Cas couldn't do it alone anymore. He tells me how in 2013 Bobby and him left again, together with other three men to live at Bobby's. He tells me how he was on the raid for food and other supplies with Mike and when they returned, they found croats swarming all over the place. He tells me how he was too late to save Bobby and how he would never forgive himself for that. He tells me how the leader never forgave him either when Mike forced him to go back to camp. He tells me how he broke his foot and was given pills the first time. He tells me how he made the decision to never be sober again and how he has yet to break that resolve. He tells me how he found peace in drugs and alcohol and sex.

When he's finished it's almost noon and we're both drunk. He lifts the bottle and says.

"To Bobby!"

He gulps down half of what left in the bottle and passes it to me. I can see his eyes are glassy with unshed tears, but honestly I think mine are too.

"To Bobby!" I echo and drink up.

"I didn't get to bury him, Dean. I didn't get to say goodbye." He slurs. "I asked the leader to drink with me to Bobby. But he just hit me and yelled it was my fault… I know he's right, but I just needed to let him go."

"It's not your fault, Cas! Come on!" I tell him and notice he's shaking. I don't know why, probably because I'm pretty drunk, not having eaten anything but few cookies in two days and drinking half the bottle of Jack, and maybe because he just really needs it, I hug him. He freezes for a second and I think I might've made a mistake, but then he clutches me, burying his face in my chest and shaking all over.

"I'm so sorry Dean…" He whispers. "I'm so sorry I failed him. I should've been there. I should've saved him or died trying! At least then you wouldn't hate me that much… I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Come on, man! It's not your fault. And if that dick says it is, he's full of shit. Dammit if I know myself at all, I think he's feeling guilty and that's why he lashed out on you. And honestly, if anything it's his fault, he should never have let you leave the camp. Not without him anyway. You and Bobby was all the family he had left, how the hell could he have let you go alone?"

"We're not family, Dean. If anything, this life has proven that family does end with blood." He says silently, but he doesn't let go of me and I don't have it in me to push him away.

"No it doesn't, Cas. And if he has forgotten that, he's just a dick."

"It's not his fault. It was hard for him. He had all camp to take care of. And anyway, he asked me not to go. He said they all would get killed and it would be on me. He was right and I was wrong. Bobby would have stayed if I had. The day I left the camp… I decided I couldn't stay here anymore and I asked Bobby if he minded if I lived at his house for a while. All he said was 'finally, you damned idjit!' and started packing. I tried to convince him to stay, but he just looked at me as if I was insane and sent me to John, Ross and Mike. They were all our friends and they all wanted out too. The leader was pissed to find out. He didn't care if I left, but Bobby… He tried to make him stay too. I don't know what happened there, I didn't see it, but there was a lot of shouting. That very night all five of us left the camp."

"Okay, so all that means is that Bobby would have never come to Chitaqua if not for you. It was not your fault Cas. Bobby was stubborn sonofabitch, no one could ever make him do something he didn't want. He must have cared about you a great deal to even come here in the first place."

Finally, he lets go of me.

"He did. He was… I think that's what you call father down here." He takes a deep breath and then lies down folding his arms under his head. "You know, I forgot what's it like to be your friend."

"Yeah, well, I rock!" I grin. I am drunk and my head's spinning slightly, besides compared to the one I became in this world, I really do rock! I lie down beside Cas and close my eyes for a second. "Cas, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He says lazily.

"Why did you want to leave so bad?"

"Ah… Now that's something I don't want to talk about. Sorry, next question."

"You're hiding something… Something big, aren't you?"

"Nothing big. What I'm hiding doesn't matter to anyone but me. I just want to keep it to myself."

"Yeah, okay." I nod. I think he says something else, but I drift to sleep.

/\/\/\

I wake up to the sound of my own voice bellowing at me. Just how surreal is that?

"What the fuck?! Cas, are you a fucking child?! You're sleeping outside of the camp!"

"Relax, oh fearless." Cas groans beside me. Sometime during our sleep we must've scooted closer to each other because he's right beside me. "There are no croats around and Dean here is safer than anyone else – Zachariah would never let him get killed here. Defies the whole purpose of this exercise. And what do you even want?"

The other me looks at us for a while as if trying to figure something out.

"You know, that was really quick. I don't remember being this ea…"

"Shut up." Cas growls and frowns at the other me. "I haven't told him anything you wouldn't want him to know so be careful with what comes out of your mouth."

"You haven't told him? Why?"

"I see no reason. That's not what he came here to learn. But if you want to – by all means."

"You didn't tell him because you don't want this to happen in his time?" The dick smirks and Cas locks his gaze with him.

"I ask myself everyday if that was the biggest mistake." He tells him finally.

"No question in my mind."

"Of course there isn't." Cas smirks. "I assume you're here for Dean?"

"Yeah, I wanna talk to him."

"Fine." He nods and turns to me with a grin. "Don't let him be a dick to you."

"From the looks of it, being a dick is his natural state." I grin back and Cas actually laughs before turning away and silently padding back to the forest.

"I see you two are cozy as ever." The other me frowns at me.

"Yeah, well, just because I turned out to be a colossal dick, doesn't mean I am now." I retort.

"So, Cas has been telling you stories then? His version of what happened here…"

"Is there your version? Because from what I heard, you kind of suck!"

"Why don't you get some more facts and not his pathetic whining before making up your mind?"

"What facts?" I growl. He genuinely pisses me off!

"Did he tell you Bobby was killed because of him? Because he was too much of a wuss to live here and dragged Bobby and three others out?"

"Yeah, he told me alright. He told me Bobby only came here in the first place because he asked him to. What the hell have you done that Bobby didn't want to come with you? What could you have possibly done that Cas was so desperate to leave he would have gone alone?"

"Me? Why would you think it was about me?"

"Because Cas I know has always had my back! Cas I know would stay behind when the angels left and Cas I know would stay with me. So what the hell happened to make him want to leave?"

"It doesn't even matter!" The other me shouts. "It's not about Cas or Bobby! It's about Sam!"

"Well what is it? You lost Sam! Fine, it's horrible, I'm sure it almost killed you. I've lost Sam once, I know what that means and how it makes me feel…"

"You don't know anything!" He shouts. "I didn't lose Sam! He's not dead, he said yes!"

"What?" I stammer over the freezing of my insides. "He what?"

"He fucking said yes to Lucifer and now the devil is wearing our brother!"

"Why?" It's all I can manage.

"I don't know why! I haven't spoken to him in five years… I should've been there with him, I should've stopped him… Dammit, it was my fault! I was so busy helping your beloved Cas with his falling that I didn't realize how bad it was for Sammy!"

"And you blame Cas for that… You wish you were with Sam to stop him…"

"I fucking had to be with Sam!"

"Then why weren't you?" I ask losing my patience. I can't believe Sam said yes. What the hell is wrong with this world?

"Because I thought us being together was far more dangerous! I was an idiot! And I let Cas pull me into his crap instead of taking care of Sammy like I was supposed to!"

"Dammit, you are an idiot! You have no right to put this on Cas. Sam was your responsibility, not Cas'. And if you couldn't get your priorities straight, how is that Cas' fault?! Or Bobby's?! And why the hell couldn't you take care of them all? You just failed to see that Sam needs help and conveniently put that on Cas!"

The next thing I know is I'm lying on the ground, my jaw aches and my head rings. How 'bout that – I kicked my own ass! The fearless leader – and seriously, the name starts rubbing on me – is nowhere to be seen. I suppose I was out for a while, because it's getting dark and I really need to get back to the camp.

By the time I reach the camp it's completely dark. I head straight to Cas' cabin, because the last person I want to see is… well, me. When I climb up the stairs I hear voices in his cabin. I assume I shouldn't go in, the leader made it clear I am not to reveal myself, but right now I couldn't care less about what that dick wants, so I just stride in. There are four of them sitting on the rug – Cas, both month chicks and a guy I've seen in the photo. They're playing cards of all things! Cas looks up at me and tilts his head.

"Fighting with yourself is not good for your health." He smirks and stands up. "Everyone – meet Dean. Dean – this is June, April and Mike."

They all look at him as if he's joking. No wonder!

"Ah, yes, you think he's our fearless leader… Yeah, I might be high, but I'm not nearly high enough not to recognize our fearless. This guy here is not him. It's complicated and doesn't matter much, so just relax and meet the guy our leader used to be." He laughs and then tugs at my arm leading me to the other room. "But before you join us, why don't we take care of your face?"

He rummages in the closet for some time and emerges holding a big bottle of hydrogen peroxide and some band aids. "Sit."

I sit down.

"It's nothing, Cas. No need to fuss."

"Yeah, well infection is not something you really need right now. And if I remember correctly, in 2009 I was falling, so I won't be able to heal you when you get back. Anyway, what the hell happened? How did you manage to get into a fight with yourself?"

"The other me is a dick, that's what happened. I told him that and he flipped out."

"Yeah, I saw him storm out on patrol. People are actually scared of him, when he's in one of his moods. They try to stay out of his sight… You shouldn't have pissed him off."

"It's kind of hard not to. He's full of shit, you know? So deep in denial it's not even funny anymore…" I hiss as he starts cleaning the wound on my eyebrow. "Cas, why didn't you tell me? About Sammy."

"Because this was his to tell. Sam saying yes changed everything. It defines who he is right now… Dean, you've got to make sure this doesn't happen in your time." He says urgently, seriously. "The leader will tell you to say yes to Michael. He tried himself, but it was too late, the angels had been gone for a while by then. But anyway, saying yes to Michael won't save you – it won't change anything. You have to make sure Sam doesn't say yes to Lucifer. That's the only thing that can still save you. It doesn't matter what happens after – you have to save Sam to save yourself, do you understand?"

"But… If I don't say yes to Michael, this will anyway happen. Croats, end of the world."

"Dammit Dean, fuck the world. You'll manage. You two always come up with something, as long as you're together. I should have realized this sooner, I should have made him go and find Sam… It doesn't matter now, it's too late for this world. But it's not too late for yours – you have to save Sam!"

"Yeah okay. Save Sam – sounds like something I'd wanna do." I smile and he grins back at me. "Whatever it takes Dean, don't let him say yes."

"It was bad, wasn't it?" I ask and he chuckles darkly.

"Yeah, it was bad. Bobby and I… We did everything we could to get you back, but… That night we lost you." He puts a band aid on the cut.

"You're still trying to save me, aren't you? After everything he did, you're still trying."

"I'm an idiot, didn't you know?" He laughs and puts his hand on my shoulder. Only then I realize just how close he is. My breath hitches for no clear reason as I stare at him as always, few seconds too long to be comfortable. Finally I grin at him. "Personal space, Cas. We've talked about it."

He freezes for a second but then he starts laughing, really laughing and I can't help but join in. The voices in the other room hush down as we laugh together and for the first time during these freakin' holidays of doom I feel alright. We laugh for a long while and I feel the tension drain from me.

"I fucking missed you!" He finally manages and we laugh some more. Maybe I'm high too? "Come on, let's go play some poker – what's the end of the world without some gambling?"