Usually I was a heavy sleeper. Nothing could wake me up ...even the trains that passed by our house in the middle of the night. But apparently tonight was different. I heard a noise at my desk and sat straight up in bed. My vision was blurry; like a nightmare in reverse. The bedroom was pitch black.

I could hear that somebody was crying… That's when I knew I wasn't alone. It took me a minute to focus before my eyes found the red numbers on my alarm clock … it was 1:43am.

I could still taste the TV dinner I'd had earlier in my mouth. Something was very wrong. I felt my face drain and my heart in my throat. I licked my lips… blinked he crust out of my eyes..

"Um?"

I wasn't sure whether or not I was expecting something more articulate to come out or what… but the sound of my own voice shocked me. I barely sounded like something that was living.

The crying stopped and the room was silent. I gripped the edge of my bedpost, closed my eyes and counted to 10. I always hated the quiet. Living in a house with 6 people there was never much of it. Usually it meant that something was wrong. I came home from school and there was noise until I went to bet at night. Come to think of it, I couldn't remember the last time I was completely alone…

Whoever was in my desk jerked up. Wild green eyes met mine.

Ponyboy blinked with heavy eyes before he screamed.. "Oh my God!"

Then I realized something must've happened. My heart started thumping in my chest. This couldn't be happening.

The way he had yelled shook me to my core. I watched my brother intently and wondered why he was in my room. The two of us co-existed semi peacefully in the same house most of the time. Usually we were careful not to cross each other's paths. This was weird.

He started breathing heavy… I think it was called hypervanting. We had been studying the respiratory system in Science last week and Mr. Burner mentioned it. Whatever it was called, he was doing it for sure. I tried to make myself stay still.

That's when I noticed the door was open. I always closed it a night, right before I go to bed, because a lot of the time Mom and Dad will stay up and watch TV. Talk about adult things in low voices. And I didn't want the light in my room when I was trying to fall asleep. The fact that it was open told me that something was definitely wrong… my brothers hardly every disturbed my privacy. They knew I needed it. But still, yellow kitchen light was entering my room.

That's when Soda walked in. He didn't look real to me… a handsome mess just standing in my doorway. Except I couldn't see his face clearly when it was mixed from the light from outside with the darkness of my room. He was leaning against the door jamb, and his voice shook slightly when he spoke. "Jenny?"

I was busy watching Pony try and collect himself. He took several gulping breaths but he looked like he wouldn't leave that desk chair if Dad came in and tried to drag him off it.

"Soda?" I blinked when I realized my brother was talking to me. "What?"

Soda's breathing slowed. I hadn't realized it had been heavy. He walked over to Pony. "Jesus Christ. Don't move, Jen. Stay here." Swiftly, he lifted Pony out of the desk chair. My brother let Soda carry him away without fighting… he never stopped crying either.

They left and I was alone again. I wanted to go back to bed… but knew I couldn't. My mind was racing… I called out... "Is someone hurt?" I pulled the sheets up around my chin. My own breathing was tightening. There was a knot tied in my stomach. "Pony ain't sick right…?"

Next Darry stepped in. People were still talking in the living room. I realized there must have been more than just Pony and Soda out there… there were a few voices I didn't recognize. (I had never seen the look on Darry's face before, either.) where were Mom and Dad? I wasn't sure why the question was just entering my mind when it seemed like an important thing to wonder.

Darry sat on the foot of my bed… it sank with his weight. He put his hands on my shoulders and gripped tight.

"Jo…" There was something in his voice that was never there before. I couldn't quite focus in on it, though. In my head I was still wondering whether or not this was all a dream. Darry swallowed hard. "there's something you need to know." Suddenly I was wrapped in his strong football-playing arms and pulled into his t-shirt. I remembered him wearing it to football practice before, but now it was too small so he just wore it around the house. His heart was thumping straight through it.

"There was an accident tonight. With Mom and Dad." It hit me like a punch in the stomach. The air left in my lungs squeezed out somehow. This can't be happening, this wasn't happening… "They died, Jo." He hugged me into him tighter. I was glad he did because otherwise I was afraid I would have stopped breathing altogether. My arms went numb and I couldn't feel anything, hear anything. Vaguely I was aware of Darry still being there… "They died. I am so so sorry…"

My heart did one big thump. I started crying. Just like that, I broke down into tears like Ponyboy. I didn't care that I was drooling and snotting all over Darry's shirt. For all I knew at that point he could have been Dad. I didn't know what anything was or where it was. All I wanted to do was fall asleep in Darry's arms and just keep dreaming forever. My mind raced but never stopped on the fact that my parents were dead. Dead. What did that word even mean? It had never been on any Vocabulary list I had memorized. I just kept on crying into Darry's shirt and occasionally staring at the bed sheet. It was spinning.

"Do you want me to take care of you?" Darry's voice was quiet in my ear. "you wanna stay here, right?"

It hadn't occurred to me that there could be another option. Suddenly the room was as silent as it was before, even though the waterworks were still going heavy. My breath was choppy and shallow. But this time, I didn't mind it. I said the first thing that came to my mind. "What about college?"

Darry had been accepted into a school through a football scholarship. I remembered the day he first got the letter. Dad had found it in the mail; he didn't even have to open it up to know what it was. We all knew Darry was a really good player, and it probably would've happened sooner or later. But Dad still jumped right out of his chair to hug him. That night the whole family went out to dinner in honor of Darry's scholarship. Money was tight, so we hardly ever went out, but it had been a big deal. My heart sank. All of that was going to waste now…

Darry was being too gentle for someone like him. In a way it scared me… but then again anything could've scared me right then. I felt guilty for wanted Mom. His hand wrapped around the back of my head. He pulled me closer. "Jo… School...can wait. You know I don't wanna go if…" his voice trailed. I tried but couldn't imagine myself in an orphanage. With all those other girls… all those other orphans…

Even though I was wrapped tight in Darry's arms I could feel everything flying away from me. The door was still open, the light was still on in the living room. I almost wanted to ask Darry to close it. Maybe that would trap everything inside. In a split second Darry had gone from my brother to my Dad. Everything would change now, I realized. I would too.

I didn't want to. I squeezed my eyes shut, and tried not to fall asleep while Darry was holding me.

It's late, so I will most likely go back and make a few edits to this chapter tomorrow. It is definitely not my best work.

Thanks to all the reviewers! You have no idea how much I appreciate it :)