Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own anything related to L&OCI
Chapter Two
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The Lights Are On, But Nobody's Home
Detective Alex Eames' POV
I'm sitting across from Bobby's desk watching him … the lights are on, but nobody's home. Have you ever heard that expression? Of course you have … who hasn't? I just never thought it would apply to my Partner, my brilliant Partner. The past two years have been hell … no … HELL! He's a broken man, a brilliant broken man … fuck! God, does he know what a brilliant fucking man he is and that I admire him so? God, I'm talking to you! Leave Robert Goren alone! Stop raining on him! I know, I know, you don't do that … but he is a lapsed alter boy … is this punishment? I know, you don't do that either. So who ever is fucking with my Partner … LEAVE HIM ALONE! Bobby is looking at me funny, he must see my inner turmoil. I bet he doesn't realize it's about him, I bet he thinks I want out. I am part of his hell … I take full blame. I'm not just a tough cop … I am part female. I take things personally. He checked out on our friendship when his Mom got sick. It was shortly after my kidnapping, although I can't be sure … he never really told me. I need to back up, I'm getting a little ADD here … my thoughts are scattered.
The lights are on, but nobody's home. Okay, lets back track. Bobby came to work today vacant … his eyes are vacant. Nobody's home. He didn't have a funeral for Frank, he had him cremated and buried on top of his Mother. He didn't tell me, only Lewis. I get all my Bobby information, reluctantly, now a days, from Lewis. I say reluctantly because Lewis feels like he's betraying Bobby by telling me anything about Bobby's life outside the job. Three years ago, we'd all be hanging out at Lewis's working on an old Super Sport … I was the only girl allowed in the boys club. Not anymore. Bobby rarely works on his own car these days. Lewis keeps me informed, he's a good friend … to both of us. I question myself and how I failed Bobby and how he failed me. The kidnapping … he tried … I pushed him away because, truth be told, I needed him more than I can say or admit to myself. It sometimes happens between male and female partners … I couldn't let that happen. I should have let that happen, maybe the two years that followed wouldn't have been hell on him … we could have gone through it together but instead it pulled us apart.
Now I feel vacant … shoulda, coulda, woulda. Damn.
I can feel tears building and head to the ladies room. As I look in the mirror I notice that my lights aren't even on. Nobody's home and the lights are off! What the fuck? I should go out there straddle his ass, tell him that I want him and have for a very long time. Turn our lights on and say out loud "We're home God Damn It!" Would he just have a major coronary? I think he might. So, I'll shelve that for now and go back out there and try not to jump my Partner and hope the vacant look in his eyes will go away soon. I miss that sparkle that used to occupy that space.
The lights are on, but nobody's home … I'm beginning to hate that saying because behind those brown eyes used to lie my Partner … where did he go if he's not home?
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Eames had to have her say, even though it was only in thought. Thanks for reading, reviews appreciated ... thank you so much for those too! Judeey