During Xan's inspection of the VHS tapes on their shelf, Faith mentioned casually, "Heard today we're doin' each other hard an' nasty."
Smirking, Xander turned to Faith sprawled out on the couch in front of the outdated television set that'd been the latest thing a couple of decades ago. "That was fast. It's only been a week since we started going together into my magic VCR for good times. Who's spreading it, the rumor?"
"Nobody in particular," Faith shrugged. "Overheard some baby Slayer in the cafeteria giggling 'bout it with her friends."
Xander raised his left eyebrow over his patch in mild curiosity. "Um…you don't mind?"
Faith did a perfect deadpan imitation of Xander with her own left eyebrow. "Do ya?"
Holding up both hands palms out in a quick gesture of surrender, Xander said just as hastily, "Listen, Faith, I don't want to screw this up by saying something dumb. I like things the way they are now, us having fun in those movies and tv shows we visit. If you want that to change, maybe we should talk about it—"
Xander abruptly stopped speaking at Faith's sudden outburst of hilarity, laughing at the top of her lungs which only continued at the man's dirty look sent towards his guest tonight in the New Council castle apartment.
Eventually, she calmed down a bit though Faith still had a quite sardonic smile on her face when this Slayer assured him, "Aw, relax, Xan. We're good, see? Just thought ya'd find it wicked funny like I did. Gotta say, we ever get serious, either of us, yer right. Best idea is to lay it out right from the start insteada actin' like the kids we were back at Sunnyhell."
Xander nodded in obvious relief. "Yeah, thanks for clearing that up."
"No prob," Faith cheerfully waved that aside. "So, it's yer turn to pick. Where are we gonna go now for some down an' dirty action?"
Gladly turning back to the videotape shelf, Xander scanned the titles in their boxes with colorful art and picture displays upon the covers. There were no obvious signs that these movies in a very obsolete entertainment format had been somehow enchanted by an anonymous mage or other wizard which allowed Xander and Faith to enter into these films and basically do whatever — and whoever — they wanted in there.
So far, this pair of Hellmouth veterans had worked their way through about a third of the videotapes, leaving them a good many more chances to have a great time that usually involved quick undressing and an enjoyable leap into the nearest available bed with their newest sexual partner.
Running his gaze along the spines of the unvisited videotapes giving the various movie titles, Xander spotted one very particular film which made him instantly develop an extremely evil grin. Reaching out to remove that tape from the shelf, Xander spun around to proudly present it to Faith.
Who, in her case, just as promptly objected, "That's a goddamn G-rated flick! What the hell are ya thinkin'?"
Xander just waggled the tape while a supremely lecherous expression presented itself upon his face.
Rolling her eyes, Faith jeered, "Yeah, figures. Never knew ya had a yen fer the straitlaced ladies, Xan. From what I remember, she don't even show her legs any time in those old fashioned floor-length dresses!"
"Well, like you said, it's my turn," Xander reminded Faith. "I always thought she was hot, okay?"
Sending Xan her best fisheye, Faith still demanded from him, "Goody fer ya, but what 'bout me? Offhand, there's a definite lack of prime beef in that kiddie pic 'cept for alla them waiters…an' I don't do animals!"
Xander paused for a moment in trying to get what Faith was talking about.
He soon snickered in reaction at finally identifying the scene she'd just mentioned. "No! There's another dance number you'd probably really like. Look, just let me show you. If you still say no, fine, we leave. I'll pick another tape, or we can go again into one we've already been."
Faith thought that over, eventually grudging, "Ah, what the hell. Let's see the damn movie."
Happily getting to work at Faith's permission, Xander turned on the videocassette recorder attached to the television, which were just as magical as the videotape itself he inserted into the VCR.
At Xan's expectant look, Faith grumpily got up from the couch and went over to join him in touching the television's front glass screen. The instant the videotape began playing, both of the New Council troubleshooters vanished from the media room to begin their latest carnal exploit.
About an hour later, two people reappeared back in Xander's apartment.
For the male of the duo, Xander just stood there, blissfully staring ahead into the distance. He'd obviously had a very nice time, judging by his air of complete relaxation and the scrap of lace poking out from one pants pocket where he'd stuffed a souvenir set of someone's knickers.
And as for Faith…
"Daaayyyyaaaaammmnnn."
Glancing over, Xander guffawed, "C'mon, just say I'm the master!"
That earned Xander the finger, though Faith was smiling with utmost satisfaction as she did this, white teeth gleaming through the heavy layer of soot covering every inch of her exposed skin and also coating the Slayer's entire clothes, including her shoes.
Looking Faith up and down in barely restrained amusement, Xander suggested, "You want to use my shower?"
"Nope," Faith shook her head, causing black particulates to drift off from there and fall to the floor. "I'll take one at the gym."
Xander was rather taken aback by hearing that.
He carefully pointed out, "Um, why would you want to walk all the way to the other side of the castle to clean up there instead of here?"
The Slayer's teeth shone again with absolute delight in all their pristine glory.
"'Cuz I really wanna hear what kinda story the newbies come up with to explain this! No way are they ever gonna guess right that while ya were boinkin' Mary Poppins, I wore out to a nub that Bert fella and the resta them chimney sweeps! Didn't hurt either that I stuffed his scarf down the guy's throat before we got started so I never hadda listen to that totally stupid Cockney accent!"
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters and the mentioned characters from 1964 Disney film Mary Poppins are the property of their rightful owners.