A/N- if you check out my profile you can follow the link to check out pictures that go with this brain child of mine.
Lauren is amazing, and I don't know how she puts up with my shit.
This is angsty and dramatic, it just happened.
I OWN NOTHING! Although I would LOVE to own many of the Sons for any period of time!
*~*Chapter 2*~*
Riding on the back of my Dad's bike while in formation, I feel invincible and on top of the world. It's a feeling that I've missed way more than I realized.Being locked away from everything I've ever known messed with my head. Everyday seemed to be a new month that never ended. Thinking of all my family helped get me through, but I didn't allow myself to think on anything specific.
Being myself hasn't been possible for 6 years, Jesus am I actually high on being out? The memories start to flip threw my head, like a slideshow;
Listening to music, and drawing, while the guys were in church.
Pouting when I found out I couldn't be a Son.
Marking random shit with hearts, including a passed out Tig, with a sharpie.
Girlie days with Gemma at the mall, buying clothes and getting our nails done.
Getting drunk with Jax and Opie.
Smoking weed with Chibs and Bobby.
My Dad teaching me how to work in the garage.
Cooking with Gemma.
Laughing at family dinners. I really am buzzin on this right now.
So wrapped in the past, I didn't realize we stopped moving. I look around and notice, we're sitting in front of my Dad and Gemma's house.
I don't belong here.
I have no memory of feeling right anywhere. Even the clubhouse, although it has been a continual safe haven for me through my life. I remember moving into this house when I was 8. I didn't get why putting two broken families together would be a good idea. I was incredibly wrong, we've been though a lot in this house.
That's exactly what it is to me a house, never Home.
I wonder if I was at home before I turned 5.
NO DO NOT GO THERE. EXPECIALLY NOW.
"Princess, you alright?"
I turn to my Dad. When the fuck did he get off the bike? "Huh, yeah I'm great." He searches my face, trying to figure out what happened. I notice then that Chibs and Tig are also looking at me. I smile and take my dad's offered arm. Hopping down to the driveway, I see that Gemma's car isn't there.
We all walk up the sidewalk, and my dad opens the door. "I'm just gonna go shower." I immediately say, and run up the stairs. When I get to my room I open the door, and just stop and stare.
It's all the same like no one has touched a damn thing. The walls are light lavender, just like when Gemma and I painted them while the guys were off on club business. In the center of the room is the queen sized bed that my Dad and Gemma bought for me not to long before I went to jail. The black iron leafs and vines of the headboard sticking out boldly against the lavender. Theres a big box sitting in the middle of the bed, that wasn't there before. A black desk in the corner, with colored pencils and my sketch pads covering the top completely. A window with a seat overlooking the back yard. A door, leading to the bathroom, and a set of double doors leading to the closet. A tall black dresser and a wide black dresser with a mirror attached against separate walls. On the wide dresser, is an arrangement of fake pink stargazer lilies, and white roses, next to a pink picture frame. I'm glued to the spot, staring at this photo from a distance.
"Ye look so much like her, Mac." I jump and spin around, finding Chibs standing in the door way watching me. He walks over to me and puts his hands on my shoulders.
"Ya wan' me to beat his arse, sweetheart?"
"Who's ass? I'm not back even a minute and you already want to fight someone for me. You know I may not be as good as you are but I have a bit of skill in that area." I say joking with him, trying not to let my tears fall at his mention of my mom.
"Yer right, ya do have some skill. It's a wonder though, your teacher being a drunken bastard en all." I laugh. "I will beat his arse for what he did." At my blank look. "Juice, that whole kissin and grabbin you shite he pulled."
"Chibs, I love you for that but it was a misunderstanding. Totally innocent." He snorts and gives me a disbelieving look.
"Mac have ya forgotten that I know ya better than anyone else? Ye were uncomfortable when he kissed ya, then after, you were not ok."
"Fine, I wasn't ok but he doesn't need his ass kicked. It was an accident, one that Me and Juice will have to talk about, alright? ME and JUICE, k?"
He nods, and looks around. "so who's arse ye gonna kick for messing with yer art shite?"
"What do ya mean? No one's messed with it, this is exactly how I left the room that last morning."
"I don't think so lovie." I look at him. He obviously knows something I don't so I wave my hand for him to continue. "You check yer closet yet?"
I shake my head no, walk over to my closet and open the door. Colors pop out at me instantly; blues, purples, and pinks, mixed with blacks, whites, and grays. I see every shade of jeans there is; pure black, blackish gray, white, light blue denim, dark blue denim, just plain denim. Even Khaki's.
"These weren't here before, I…. these aren't mine." I mutter
"Oh they most definitely are darlin'. Gemma went out and got ye a bunch of new shite kept goin on and on about the ol' ones not gonna be able to fit ye. O' course all of us thought it was just so she could go shoppin, but turns out she was right, your officially grown up now." He said in a shocked tone.
"Ahhh so that's why you came up here!" he just cocks his eyebrow. "You knew I was gonna shower and were tryin to get a peak huh?" I tease him
"Shut it, I was just comin to see if ye were all right. And since ya seem better I'll just go so ye can shower." He says kissing me on the forehead and turning to leave. When he gets to the door he turns back.
"Oh Mac, if ye weren't basically my niece then this would be a totally different situation." He winks then leaves shutting the door.
As soon as I'm alone I realize I really am dying for that shower. So I go into my bathroom, and freeze again. The walls are a sky blue that Gemma and I painted as well. The whole bathroom has a rubber ducky theme, I had totally forgotten about. But Gemma obviously went out and replaced everything. Fresh and shiny blue shower curtain with yellow rubber duckies swimming around on it. Fluffy soft light yellow bath mats on the floor in front of the toilet and sink. Little yellow garbage can. On the sink there's a rubber ducky toothbrush holder. When I look in the mirror, I see my long, thick bright auburn hair going every which way. My blue eyes look dull with exhaustion. I inspect my nose and tongue; I can get them repierced, maybe tomorrow, maybe more piercings too, I have to go see Freddie. The thought just lifts my spirits 10 fold.
I take off my clothes and throw them in the light blue hamper, then go to the bathroom closet for towels. All new all fresh, light blue and light yellow towels of every size greet me. I take out one of each color, then grab a real razor, not one of those disposable pieces of shit. Stepping into the shower I see my favorite shampoo, conditioner and body wash.
After a shower then a warm bubble bath, followed by another shower, I felt squeaky clean. With my hair wrapped in a towel, I threw on a huge purple fuzzy bathrobe that was on the back of the door. Damn I bet Bobby could wear this and still swim in it. When I go back out to my room I see that big white box that's on my dark purple sheets. I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed next to the box. I open the box, and gasp.
"OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD!"
Nestled into the huge white box lies thee hottest boots I've ever seen. Knee high, 4inch stiletto, black leather, 'fuck-me-I'm-the-baddest-dominatrix-in-town' boots. With ties up with front and buckles clasped in the back, but zip up the inside of your leg. I couldn't hold it in, I squealed. Yes I, Mackenzi Morrow, biker princess, just fresh from jail squealed like a 3 year old little girl that just got a puppy.
"What so you're a girl now? Beat some ass, get locked up, rip your brother a new asshole when he comes to visit you, and now you gon go and fuckin squeal with happiness? Who the fuck are you and what did you do wit my baby sis?" Jax says leaning against my bedroom door.
I'm officially speechless. Still in love with my boots, it takes me a minute to fully process what he just said, and I instantly remember 'ripping him a new asshole'. The last time I saw or spoke to Jax.
About 18 months ago, I came to the visitation room, wondering who it would be this time. I have a steady 5 I can count on to come see me, and an occasional surprise. As I'm waiting for my visitor, I get chained to the floor, and think of the odd conversation I had with Gemma the other day. She was all pissed off about something but wouldn't tell me what or who it was about. When I asked she just said.
"Oh you'll find out soon enough honey, and when you do don't worry too much, ok?"
I'm brought out of my phone conversation by a visitor entering threw the door. It's Jax.I try to stand up forgetting I'm chained. Jax looks like someone pissed in his corn flakes, ran over his dog, and told him he was a piece of shit; pissed, worried, and hesitant.
"What happened? Who's hurt? Oh God is someone dead? What happen? Who is it? Why the fuck why aren't you saying anything?" I basically yell at him two seconds after seeing his face.
"Whoa calm the fuck down aiight." He says eyeing the guards. "No one is hurt or dying. Ok? Nothing bad happened. Just chill out."
I take a deep breath, "K I'm good now tell me what the fuck is going on!" When he just sits there looking at me, I throw in, "please"
He smiles. "Aiight, now you know there ain't shit I can do bout you bein in here right?"
I nod, "You know even though I was a douche to you before, that I'd do any-fuckin-thing in this world for you right?" I nod, getting a sinking feeling in my gut. "You're the best baby sis anyone could ever dream of, and I love ya."
I can feel all the color drain from my face, "What…. What…."
"I got married"
"Huh?"
"I said I got married." I laugh Right my brother Jax Teller married HA!
"No seriously I got married," I look at him. He's completely serious, and still talking but I'm too shocked to be listening to him. "……hanging out……fun……..Wendy…….no big deal….."
Wendy, did he just say Wendy? It sounded like Wendy but I only know of 1 Wendy. He wouldn't.
"Wendy as in crow eater, 'I'll suck any and all dicks if you just pay attention to me or get me some crank' Wendy?"
He just looks at me, and I can see him getting pissed. "What the fuck, you don't even know her." When i scoff he gets even more pissed. "How the fuck would you know, it's not like your around to see what anyone does"
Now I'm seething fucking pissed at how much of a prick he is. "OF FUCKING COURSE I'M NOT AROUND TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE DO," I can feel my face go up in flames with my anger, as the rest of my body goes numb with my rage. "IF YOU DON'T FUCKING RECALL, LET ME HELP YOU OUT BROTHER." I sneered at him.
"I'M HERE," I gesture around with my hands, and realize I'm standing up. "IN THIS LOVELY SHIT HOLE BECAUSE OF YOU NOT THINKING WITH THE RIGHT HEAD!"
"I,"
But I cut him off. "SERIOUSLY? I MEAN FUCKING SERIOUSLY JACKSON? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? SHE'S DISCUSTING, AND WORTH LESS THAN A PIECE OF DOG SHIT! TO FUCK HER YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR DAMN MIND, BUT THEN YOU GO AND MARRY HER?" here I realize that the guards are trying to pull me back, but I'm still chained to the floor.
"You don't know anything about this," he says getting louder with each word. "and I don't GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, I ONLY CAME TO TELL YOU, NOT FOR YOUR OPINIONS!" we're face to face, the table between us, but only about 2 inches separating our faces. "YOU WOULD THINK THAT CONSIDERING WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU GOT INVOLVED IN MY SHIT THAT YOU'D KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT."
I completely lost it, all I saw was RED. I tried to jump over the table at him, when that didn't work.
"Last time" I sneer, "a group of junkie whores jumped me cause I stopped them from getting pregnant with my nieces or nephews! Soooooo fuckin excuse me, I didn't realize you wanted a bunch of little Teller bastards running around. But if you wanna be miserable for the rest of your life by all means keep thinking wit your dick instead of you brain! Just…. Just keep it all the fuck away from me! I'm though wit this shit, putting up with arrogant Jax just cause one day he'll be king! I won't call, I won't write, Hell I won't even ask bout you. When you decide to grow the fuck up, and man up MAYBE, just maybe then I'll consider talking to you!"
I looked down to see my arms all bloody, and then the guards pulled me away. I was locked in solitary for 2 weeks, every time someone came to take me back I snapped at them.
No one knew what happened exactly, just that I didn't want to hear anything to do with Jax.
"Hey, you a'ight?" I jump when I feel a hand touch my face.
"Why does everyone keep askin me that?" I say pushing him away and jumping back.
He frowns, "I don't know bout them, but you just completely zoned out on me. Are you though?"
"Am I what?"
"Shit, why don't you sit down or something'." Since when am I standing? I sit down at Jax's urging. Looking closely at him I can't place his expression.
He's just staring at me now, a weird look on his face like he's trying to figure out a puzzle without all the pieces. His eyes keep running over my face, analyzing me. I've never seen him look like this before.
He's worried about me
"Your worried about me? Like genuinely worried?" when he nods, "well that's a first."
He steps back like I slapped him. "Of course I'm worried bout you. You're my baby sis, I'm always worried bout you."
"Sure," Just then Tig pops his head in and cuts me off.
"Hey Pip," he stops and looks disappointed. "Damn I missed the shower." He says lowly, staring at my robe like he's trying to see through it.
"Tig, what the fuck man?" First worried, now getting mad at Tig for bein Tig? Whats goin on with Jax?
Tig shakes his head. "Right, Mac we gotta run, something just came up. Clay told me to let ya know that Gemma should be here soon. And to give you this," he hands me a cell phone and big bag. "Everyone's numbers are all in there for ya, feel free to call." He says coming over to hug me, he tugs on my towel and it pulls free. My hair falling in damp waves around me. He sniffs, makes a little noise, and whispers, "Call anytime Mac"
"See ya" is all I can manage. I have to actually shake my self back from the oddness that is Tig. Pulling out the contents of the bag, first is a medium sized box, the next is a small box. I shrug and throw the now empty bag, to look at the boxes; A fucking Ipod and dock are in my hands. There's a note attached to the Ipod.
'Princess, no worries, fell off the back of a truck. Dad'
I shake my head, "this is totally unnecessary."
"Music is your anchor Mac, it is necessary." I jump having forgot Jax was still there. He hugs and kisses me on the cheek. "I'm glad to have you back even if you don't want me around"
" I…" but he was already gone. Left truly alone for the first time in 6 years my eyes immediately go to the picture frame. My body following automatically.
In the cute little pink frame is a picture of an excited little girl, with her mom and dad. They're outside on a picnic bench, the little girl with her tiny hand on her mothers forearm next to a tattoo of a black crow holding a shamrock in the beak, and a name clutched in its talons, the sun glinting off of her wedding ring just a few inches below. The mother having just put a white flower in her daughter's identical auburn hair, as dad looks on with a expression of pure love and relaxation on his face, beautiful caring blue eyes matching his daughters, shine at the camera with unparalleled happiness.
Looking at this picture you'd never know this was the last time that family would be together.
I drop to my knees staring at the photo.
I can't keep the tears in anymore.
A/N Sorry for all the notifications, I'm new to this, and was having issues. Review please!