AN: I have no idea why this is so demanding to get out. It really was meant as a what if one shot.

I shift point of view fairly often. It's just how I write. I have decided this will be a gray/light but familiar with the Dark oc. It only makes sense with how she was raised and her rather ..well..meek and easily manipulated state. At least at this point. Also there is very little information about students in general during this era so I claim Fanauthor's right to mangle and adjust things. I forget where, perhaps in all of fanfiction I noticed the Prewett brothers were twins that reminded Molly of her lost brothers when she saw her own twins. So if they seem like Gred and Forge, that is why.

()()()()()

Melpomene's entire world narrowed down to phoenix fire. Fawkes and Melpomene existed everywhere, and EveryWhen. She felt the shroud of death trail along her skin and trace her magical core which felt so strange as she couldn't access it. It didn't matter. All that was there was fire, beautiful and pure with golden and white hot flames, blue and violet arches that exploded behind her eyes. The phoenix tears coursing over the rune spell she'd so recently transcribed over her flesh felt like it was burning into her cells and her bones, sealing her in a way that bubbled out of her to keep the twirling music cascading around them. She shouldn't have been able to breathe, to sing, to feel. She was fire and she existed and always did and always would. If she burned out in this star she'd become part of the next. For one glorious moment encased in phoenix magic and fire and between time, with death's hands fierce around her her song peaked. Never again, she somehow knew, would her music be so clear, so sweet. Her song for that timeless millisecond was every bit as powerful of magic as Fawkes, as the sibilant chords of Death, of all the gods and goddesses and powers that be spanning ages and worlds.

Life and death were the same, it just depended on when in the cycle you called it.

'You can't speak of that.'

The voice was cold and calm, ruthless and yet soft and welcoming. It was everything and nothing and she felt the information, the truth of all truth, sealed inside her soul but where she could take it out and wonder at it later on. Had she eyes then she would have beheld all of the wonders and horrors and gone mad, she knew this somehow. But she was fire being brought through fire, pulled by Fawkes and part of Fawkes and somehow she knew they'd always have a union now.

And then it was over.

Her body was snapping into place around her and she could feel the cells splitting and aging and dying and she was so cold by comparison and the air was so sharp and it stung and...

~Breathe!~ She felt the Phoenix's urge deep within and that's exactly what she did. Softly in, gently out, feeling the feathers as Fawkes rested against her, under her arm as her body lay there limp and helpless after fueling the journey between the When's.

'I wonder if it worked..' her mind was hazy, shifting in accordance with the spell to lock away what could never be thought of again, adjusting so she couldn't speak but could know other things. It was an entire masterful reworking.

~We are here. When here is ..that's a..human thing.~ Fawke's was talking to her. Somehow after the everything and nothing they had just passed through, it didn't surprise her. It wasn't words either, but a flurry of emotions and thoughts of her past memories that meshed in such a way she could intuit what he meant. A curl of joy unfolded in Melpomene as her eyes softly regarded the amazing creature.

Some things just bind you together.

~Indeed.~ Fawke's sounded happy, amused. His eyes sparkled and his beak began to groom her hair where it hung loose about her face rather then artfully crafted. ~I will always be with you in part now. But I can't share that. ~ There was such a feeling of regret, but somehow, perhaps the same way the information that had been so necessary to bring back for Dumbledore would pass to him...Mel felt what Fawke's meant. Her song had to remain a secret. Her union, the strange bond she held now with Fawke's couldn't be spoken of. It was absolutely imperative for her own safety. Her life would be in enough danger. Looking down at her wrist where Fawke's body rested under her arm she was surprised to see her runes had all a soft shimmer to them now. Pale against her skin it was a beautiful pale sheen against faintly tanned flesh. The scar tissue from her runes, and her new ones likely, now seemed almost opalescent in the light of Fawke's feather's.

~I didn't want you to feel ..unhappy. What you have sacrificed. This is my thanks, I healed them as best I could.~ Fawke's chirped once and then blinked in an avian way. ~You've let me come back to one of the only truly good men.~

And after what Mel had just experienced she understood that he meant perhaps the first since Fawke's had tried to recall. Centuries of the time that circles and has no end. There was perhaps a handful, ever, she could sense, that would be worthy of Fawke's devotion. Mortal's were flawed but those who tried to overcome themselves were rare, and it seemed that constant rebirthing of one's better self was indeed cause for Fawke's loyalty. Even now that she felt she had his affection she knew that she had still been a means to an end and none of that bothered her. How could she complain when she'd been singing with Fawke's for a month before the journey? When he'd taken her on a journey she just knew no one had ever been able to do before, maybe never again.

'I knew Albus was special..but for how you feel of him Fawke's.. I assume he could have been even greater?'

~...that's more a human concept.~

'However I can help Fawkes..' Mel closed her eyes, she was pretty sure her only use had been getting Fawke's here.

Fawke's chuckled but stayed silent, resting. His impressions to her mind, of what he was 'saying' was getting fainter as they cooled.

'Where are we..physically? Where not when.'

An image and feeling was her answer. They were in Hogwart's. Out by the lake, not too far from the forest. It was sunrise and this was one of Fawke's favorite areas to sun himself though usually on a perch. It was a safe location, and once recovered she would walk into Hogwart's with Fawke's on her shoulder. The only suggestion of time she got was that it was summer, and anything else would wait.

They curled up to sleep. A bedraggled figure in utilitarian gray and a firebird of unquestionably magical beauty among the summer wildflowers as the sunrise peeked out.

()()()()()()

I hadn't really thought I would be of much help. I mean, really, Gellert had made that fairly clear because he actually ordered me to do this. I wasn't some long lost protege or offspring, I was just a talented squib who was in the right place and willing to do just about anything. I was fully aware they were using me and the odds of my ending up anywhere in history where squibs were as disposable as yesterday's news paper was pretty much a guarantee.

It was still the closest to freedom I had ever been.

Once Fawkes and I had rested somewhat, we made it shakily into Hogwart's. The beautiful firebird was perched on my shoulder and trilling softly. He hadn't 'spoken' to me since we had rested and somehow I just could feel it was because I had 'cooled off' since our little trip. I would likely never hear Fawkes in words again, and I could accept that.

Slowly using pressure on either right or left foot, Fawkes directed me through the ancient castle. It was so quiet and my footsteps echoed for all I was in standard slippers when we'd left. They were rather muddy at this point but dry mud. At times I thought I caught sight of ghosts or almost heard someone else. Each time Fawkes would either send me a feeling of waiting or hurrying along so we avoided everyone.

After feeling like I was most assuredly lost, we ended up before an immense gargoyle. A single note trilled from Fawkes had it sliding aside in a very loud rumble, and then I could slowly trace the spiraling stairs upwards. I was nervous, of course. There was every chance that now I had been the method to bring Fawkes back that I would just be cast aside and be forced to figure out survival despite my youth. It would be worth it though but part of me was fully aware that my hands were shaking and my breaths were shallow. I was also, exhausted and hungry from the trip.

I lifted my hand to knock, but the door was swung open.

"Ah, what have we here?" A very stern looking witch I did not know was practically glowering down at me in disapproval. Fawkes however trilled and in her startled nature at seeing him and turning back to look over her shoulder, I slipped past her and inside.

For just a brief moment there was a startled expression from whom I recognized as Dumbledore and a glimmering figure though smaller on a perch beside him.

Two ethereal voices raised perfectly and both the Fawkes I had come with and the one of Now flew towards each other in a dizzying light display. They crashed and collided and several rainbow like gleams were cast about the room. Throughout was the phoenix song I had become so accustomed to. It was incredible causing me to clamp my jaws tight as it urged me to join in with the exultant melody..

And then there was cold.

Fawkes's connection to me was gone. Or rather, severely dulled. I could still feel his presence but it no longer felt to be nestled against my own heart.

I felt the ground under me as I thudded, so exhausted after everything. The loss of Fawkes though seemed more terrible and real then any of this so far. My eyes were blurry and I looked up at Dumbledore who seemed to be trying to reassure the woman 'Minerva' as he called her. I couldn't make much of it out over the roar of my own heartbeat in my ears. Slowly though Dumbledore looked from Fawkes, who shined more brilliantly then ever, to me and smiled.

"Do fetch Poppy...won't you Minerva?"

The witch had barely left when I felt magic around me as Dumbledore levitated me to the nearest armchair and then sat across, his blue eyes seemed serious even as they twinkled. "Now, I do not know what just happened but I have the feeling I should be thanking you. So, tell me..who are you my dear and what I can do?"

"Melpomene.." I blinked at him sleepily, my whole mind was unguarded and I could feel little pushes and nudges at my mind but only because it was common enough to use legimancy on squibs. It was a far more common skill later in the world and most learned it. Squibs of course, were incapable.

"Oh..oh my.." He paused then and blinked. "Yes..so, seeing as I recognize the walls in areas of your mind as the spell I had helped create but was never tested so many years ago..I will try to ask few questions, you cannot answer them I presume?"

"Not many I think. I don't remember what things that probably is though."

"Wonderful, so it did work! A pity..so where did you attend school, Melpomene?"

"I was taught at home, specialized instruction based on my aptitude."

"I see.."

To be honest I don't remember most the rest of that night. I actually half suspect I was obliviated which would have only been to help me not be able to discuss what that night had been like. I spent several days in and out of the hospital and wandering around the school which was empty for the most part for summer. Even much of the staff was gone during the summer holidays. What did end up happening is that I was enrolled on a partial scholarship. Essentially my squib status would be hidden but I would only be taking specific classes, supposedly working towards a particular American degree that didn't rely on many of the common classes. As I was thirteen looking now and didn't know my precise age, I would be enrolling with the other third years. Albus had decided my birthday would be on June 21st to be the summer solstice, I had been born in the summer but we didn't exactly pay attention to the days. I had been able to meet professor Slughorn and gloss over my information and knowledge enough to place with my would be year mates in potions even though it seemed I was in many areas far ahead, but plenty of my knowledge was for squib and children only potions that didn't exist yet and I couldn't explain and in other areas I was practically in remedial potions.

Slughorn had also jumped on my offering to help prepare for his classes to earn my keep and so I would be his assistant in that class. Mostly with preparing and inventory of ingredients for lessons, the actual grading would still be up to him. I would also be cleaning the classroom in areas that couldn't be magic contaminated. It was work I was very used to where I was from and so it was more then a fair trade. It would also, as Dumbledore had lightly said in passing during one of my meetings to set up everything, give me a little more respect when inevitably my inability to perform magic got out. I was going to take History as well as I just didn't learn any of that without Lord Faust's alteration of it. Rune's was pure theory and carving, translation, but something I had vested interest in getting a better understanding of. I still didn't know what most of my markings meant after all. I would never be able to properly use rune magic, technically Fawkes had done the work in our journey and just used me to hold the energy burned out for it and the 'writing' to direct the spell.

Herbology rarely used magic. I had the same offer to the Hufflepuff head of house to assist her, and I was excited to learn plants that had died out in the centuries before my time. I met a middle aged squib named Filch who at first was hideously cold to me. I couldn't go revealing how alike we were, so I had to let it go.

It was..strange. Filch was so entirely different then what I was used to. Oh he was in a sense 'serving' the wizards and witches of the castle, that I knew. Yet, he resented them for it. I had a feeling it was a difference in my upbringing, I wasn't blind to that conditioning after all, but it made sense to me! I was utterly incapable of many feats of magic. To ally and bind myself to those who were was just..common sense!

There was a formality of course, that still made me tremble. I needed to be sorted. I had a brief flicker of memory from that first night of the sorting hat dropping on my head..

"Well, what have we here?..Hmmm..very...complex. Very tricky"

The voice was rusty and smooth all at once, it echoed and pinged through my mind setting off the notification sensations of someone crawling about my thoughts and memories, my very aura. I was used to that. My master had done the same to all his staff on a regular basis. The more you were exposed to a powerful wizard's work, the more you learned how to lower your defenses to make it less unpleasant. It had the reverse effect too, we were trained ruthlessly, attacked mentally once of the age of 11, upholding tradition of when schooling would have begun back in the ancient days. We learned from repeated attacks that came without warning, if you were lucky you would be told to prepare yourself or to think of nothing. One must be able to guard the secrets of ones masters after all. It was only resisting those who controlled you, those who ranked you and held their powers coiled around your inked skin that you were expected to drop everything for. We couldn't learn llegimancy for obvious reasons, and not true occulemencey but we could learn to think of nothing. To lose ourselves in specific memories in a constant loop to protect. That was training that was begun from early ages when parents would start expecting their children to focus only on a treat, moving it around as if training pets. When you started so young there was little reason to argue or resist and the groundwork was laid bare for the future. I wasn't very good at it, but I could lose myself in picturing the moving metal or my powers flowing through my first drawings, ever on a loop to repeat.

There was no keeping this hat out. Only the careful spell work of the Great Ones from before they had sent me here kept things that should not be known behind barriers. Dates, names, details of the future were locked up tight though I could still access them. None others could. It was truly the work of multiple masters of many different arts.

"Oh... "The hat's voice seemed to..shiver? Curious. It sighed then. "Gryffindor for bravery, but no. You were taught to value times to act.." Well of course. Mastery of the level of power that allowed owning squibs usually meant vicious tempers to go with it, or harebrained behaviors but that wasn't tolerated much by Lord Faust. "Hmm a thirst for knowledge..for improvement..but no. that's very selective in you. Only what you feel you must know, or in a topic you wish to learn about..and only so long as it interests you. Slytherin? Yes. You were raised to be ambitious, to be cunning. You don't let people hold you back..you take chances as they benefit you while knowing when to bow and kneel to one who has more power, to cloak yourself in their favor to protect your own place...yet Hufflepuff..you are..so..very..loyal..?" Ah it sounded confused. Yes, I was loyal. But the only one I truly was loyal to was Fawkes. I suppose I was loyal to Lord Faust but it was because it just..he was. Existed. It was like trying to say you were loyal to the sun. I may not like my fate and my status often times but that wasn't the same. I wasn't loyal to Dumbledore but part of me had been bonded to Fawkes and so tightly that I would likely always at least think over what the man said. I had no one. I never had anyone, only those who would use me. So, yes. Fawkes.

"No. Not Hufflepuff. They would be good for you though. Teach you loyalty."

I wasn't so sure I wanted to learn that..

"Stall. I will evaluate her in a few weeks when she has adjusted." The hat had declared, much to Dumbledore's evident surprise.

A few weeks later and I knew the re-evaluation would be coming. I had no interest in being among the Red or the Blue, so it seemed I was destined to be clad in Green or Yellow. In truth, I was so familiar with the darkness, with how it worked that I wouldn't have minded. Yet, I knew in the end Hufflepuff would likely take care of me, from what I had learned of the house from Professor Sprout in the days when I helped her prepare for the coming year.

I just didn't know.

A beautiful golden song soothed me then and my eyes closed, my head tilting back as Fawkes seemed to float before me, perching nearby. I felt the familiar sharp pain his song brought me because of the bond that I would never truly have again with the beautiful creature. "Fawkes.." My voice was heartbroken and I couldn't help myself from reaching out to him.

This wasn't truly my Fawkes. What had been of mine had merged into this one, taking our one of a kind union with him in his kaleidoscope merge. It didn't change my longing. The song occurred again, soothing even as it created cracks in my heart and I sighed softly, smiling. "I love you."

An answering trill.

Fawkes after all, was love as much as he was fire. Classified as a 'light and goodly' creature I had experienced the truth. Fire was destructive after all, Fawkes was just as much of death as rebirth. Melpomene was muse of beautiful songs but tragedy as well.

"Thank you." I trembled feeling Fawkes bend to rest his cheek against mine, the hollow aching loss of the bond I had formed with him still trying to reach for the firebird and always coming up empty. It was similar to my master bond as low as it had been, since I was unmatched and all, that had once been there for my Owner. A squib of my time wasn't meant to be without bonds. I felt so completely alone all the time. A tiny thread still reverberated with Fawkes's presence and I think it was keeping me sane.

"Any idea on the house situation I am going to end up in?" I kept my face by his, breathing in the crackling fire ember scent, the memory of EveryWhen haunting me beautifully. I didn't get an answer, but I didn't really expect to. So I continued. "I have no idea with Hufflepuff..but Slytherin, that can't be so different then the court back home and I know how to handle that..I you feel betrayed if I was there Fawkes? I was raised in the darkness, I know it, I .."

Another beautiful soft golden song that cleared my thoughts and had tears fall down my face.

"Yeah.."

Of course. Fawkes was reminding me that Life and Death were the same depending on when you called the moment.

"I guess we'll see, huh? Either I'll be a golden badger or ashes from a phoenix in a snake pit.." I giggled, drunk on the heady power of Fawkes's song. Another trill, this one amused came from Fawkes. I knew he'd get the reference. I also knew he understood my pledge of continued loyalty.

No matter what lay ahead, I was going to be loyal to Fawkes.

We had quite literally been through something no one else could understand.

And the most beautifully perfect part of it all, despite this being a lesser version of my Fawkes, is he didn't need me to change who I was. In simply being loyal to him I'd never do anything he wouldn't forgive me for, even if he knew I was innately drawn to the darkness. I'd been more in awe of Grindlewald's portrait then Dumbledore after all.

()()()()()()

In the end, I was clad in Black and Yellow. Some part of me felt a bit off, the court was all I knew really, but among the badgers I would start a new level of my life. At least they wouldn't be prone to duels at odd intervals so it was likely far safer for me to hide my lack of abilities. I was moved to the Hufflepuff dorms soon after, a second surprise was that Hufflepuff all had their own rooms. They were small and cozy and ever so beautifully done. It was warmth and wood hues, golden and butter sunshine instead of bright yellows. Greens from plants that trailed down from the wood beams, and living plant walls with fascinating climbing plants dotted the areas. The couches were plush and comfortable, rugs thick and with varying tapestry forms of leaves and woodland scenes. Helga was a respectable older name and the books in the common room's study- another change I heard from Professor Sprout was that we had our own study room that doubled as a space to grow specific plants for herbology- were all fascinating. They did more for helping me feel at home in this strange time then anything as they were often popular dog eared novels of the time period. My bed was simple, a queen sleigh bed as I had no reason for curtains, not sharing the room with anyone else. All of my gear and supplies was basic scholarship or found items by the houselves.

Dumbledore had positively glowed he was twinkling so much when I was sorted into the badger's den. It was..peculiar. Of course Professor Sprout's enthusiasm had been rather pleasant. Slughorn had been a bit put out but when I mentioned somethings when helping to inventory-it hadn't occurred to me that most people wouldn't be aware of the old texts in Damant and Higgin's famous wizarding novel. The story was a classic Dark Court fable on how only in facing one's shadow self, could you advance. It was seen as a reason the dark had won at the time. The result, and my attempts at the most neutral responses I could manage, had still apparently been cunning and ambitious enough sounding Slughorn had begun to discuss politics and connections he had in the world. When I admitted the hat had trouble deciding between the two houses, paired with my love of potions, I seemed back in his good graces.

I was just fortunate I had quoted a fable that was known in that time period.

Fawkes didn't seek me out often. Only when I felt stretched to far, too shaky. I was a squib with Talent from a time when there had always been at least a latent master bond. I relied on it, it had always been there to comfort me. Without it, sometimes I felt traumatized. I knew eventually I would seek out someone to protect me, to be the wizard or witch I would follow. It was just how I was raised, but this world did not see squib's being paired off with wizard's the same. I could have hoped and dreamed for a relationship with my future Wizarding husband whence I had come from. After all with the strange number of Talents I had, I would have been valuable breeder stock but far more so for the potential to produce stronger magical blood to a line. Here?

I was very nervous when the morning came for my future classmates were arriving and school would begin again.

()()()()()()

Amelia Bones a fellow Hufflepuff ended up taking me under her wing along with her friend Alice from Gryffindor. Alice was short and bubbly and full of joy, plopping right next to me and chattering as though we were old friends. It turned out she was cousins with an older student, Bertha. Both the Jorkin's were kind enough and somehow another student our age, Stebbins, had been roped into the study sessions. I didn't have any close friends though, but I liked my small group all the same.

I had a fake wand, well not entirely false. I could cast certain spells thanks to the runes inked into my flesh and bones. Standard spells, just enough that it would likely keep attention for a while. I preferred using other items as a focus to direct the forced access to my magical core, so my wand only appeared to be regular. In truth it had a slim metal core, one of my earliest forge tasks that I always had kept on me as a good luck charm, just reheated and stretched out like a long thing needle. Over that I had crafted and whittled a wooden 'wand' and sealed it on the bottom so the metal wouldn't fall out. It was in swirls and patterns I remembered from the fires of EveryWhen. Very subtle images were in the flames, only cast if the shadows and light hit the wand just so. Otherwise it was all hidden in the grains of wood. I'd chosen a rich red wood though I didn't know what the name of it was. It didn't really matter in the end.

When I used it for standard spells, I truly meant it. No shields or the like, I couldn't access my core enough for that as handy as it would have been. Lumos, Nox, that sort of paltry childish work. Tempus. Only things to make it where we were less helpless then Talented should be. In time if I learned enough of the runes I could probably figure out how to access more of the common spells but I knew what went into placing them on me to allow the forced connection to my magical core. It hurt. There was a reason we Talented didn't have all the potentially useful spells on us. The ache was always there when we called on it because our connection had to be forced, and then kept open. Sometimes it would hurt and ache like an actual wound.

Still being able to cast things that would be so common before long was a necessity that I was grateful to have the wand for misdirecting assumptions. I could be a terrible and weak witch, it would still be better then being a squib in these days. Ironically if I lost my wand in a fight or bullying because my runes were on me personally I'd be less helpless than the rest of my schoolmates. I just really hated using magic that drew on the markings, it hurt.

I had wanted to take on the surname that Grindlewald had given me as a pet name, Vögelchen, but I didn't want it sullied and it would sound distinctly not American and entirely German at this point in time. Instead I had taken on the surname of my once overseer's rank and number for me after messing around with ways to mispronounce it.

4098u.

Four oh Nine Eight You. Foreignaiteu.. Forrownighateu? Fortenau. It had taken a long time to come to that name. Fortenau didn't sound the same, but like it had evolved. I had evolved. It had been my only label much of my life so I was content to cling to it in this place. Melpomene Fortenau. It was a mouthful. Almost everyone just called me Mel or Fortenau though so it was..tolerable.

I found that my ease from long years growing up in the Dark Court meant I was very good at not being noticed. There was some interest at first in the girl who had shown up for third year, but it faded swiftly. Apparently another boon to being a hufflepuff.

Perhaps the strangest bit though was from a few older students who had caught sight of me one day when I was working on inventory for Professor Slughorn on the weekend. Two red headed young men had slipped inside, going straight for the backup supply cupboard.

"That's not for free use." I said idly, continuing to measure out and package out gizzards from several bird species that sixth year was going to need for an upcoming potion.

The two had whirled, wands out and then just blinked at me.

I can't imagine why.

()()()()()

Fabian and Gideon Prewitt were many things. Pranksters, geniuses, confident Gryffindor golden boys who had been working on teaching the promising new second year named James Potter and his friends the joy of prank potions. They'd just needed to get a few things from Slughorn's stock to introduce the youngsters to the wonder of hair color potions as a prank. To be honest they had really thought the room would be empty.

Instead there was a slim form practically swallowed by her yellow and black scarf. Her hair was..intricate was the best way to put it. Mounds of golden brown and pale blonde twisted into a clearly elegant hairstyle that practically screamed pureblood. Yet her robes were worn and coarse standard scholarship fare, and she had on gloves even though they weren't needed for her current task. She glanced up at them, not having even reacted to their drawing wands and blinked once, blue gray eyes rimmed in gold around the pupil just eyed them casually.

"Bloody hell..what are you doing here?"

The girl shrugged but set aside her work. "I'm preparing ingredients for Professor Slughorn, clearly. You're breaking in."

"Well .."

There was a long pause and finally she sighed. "are you going to hex me, or leave like you are supposed to?"

The two exchanged a look and then went to pull chairs in front of her, staring. "You're new. I'm Fabian Prewitt.."

"Gideon. A pleasure to meet you miss..?"

"Melpomene Fortenau. By the way you're not going to convince me to pretend this didn't happen."

Well that was a surprise, usually the twin's could just smile and get someone to give in. Melpomene just shook her head, though her lips twisted up ever so slightly at the end.

"Not even for our pretty faces? We just need a few things.."

"It's very important we train a couple of ickle second years to know how to do color changing potions for hair, a right of passage for pranksters you may say."

"Go to Slughorn's office, knock, wait to be invited in..and then ask." Melpomene retorted. She paused then eying them. "He'd probably do it and give you extra credit. And for the record..you're not that pretty."

The two had chuckled and seeing it was a lost cause, went to try Slughorn.

()()()()()

It had worked, and as a result for some reason she'd become the occasional plaything/victim/sounding board that didn't ever actually say anything for the twins. Melpomene didn't really mind that much, as at least they were entertaining. Besides, once they realized that helping to prepare ingredients meant Slughorn was likely to let them have a few of the extras, well apparently their own mother had been a prankster and it was something of a Prewitt family tradition, right up there with the fiery tempers and coloring.

It wasn't anything she was alarmed over. The first half of the year came and went, and Melpomene's worries about fitting in were slowly easing. Her friends never really picked up on the fact she had no classes with actual wand use, as in the war time much as with Grindlewald years before scholarship students often couldn't afford all of the classes.

Come to think of it, no one had picked up on the fact that despite her always carrying her wand on her person, often with it resting beside her while she read, no one really seemed aware that the strange little American student had never been witnessed using magic. She brewed, she studied and turned in papers, she was hands on in many classes. Far more attention was given to the fact she always wore gloves. She'd simply sighed and explained to a concerned Amelia that her hands had been scarred badly when she was very young and she did not feel comfortable having the marks out for perusal. It was the truth, though she had carefully picked the terms so they would not be lies. Body language gave a great deal away, after all.

Still, Mel felt terrible that the crotchety man Filch was not someone she could share the subjects that a squib -could- do with. She felt it would have eased his temper a great deal.

It was, interestingly, Christmas that gave her trouble. For all that the wizarding world was called outdated in traditions by the muggleborn; Christianity had been around for two thousand years. Plenty still celebrated the old ways or called it Yule still, or Saturnalia, or half a dozen other names that existed for the various cultures.

Because of her upbringing, Lord Faust had always insisted only on the scientific and theoretically sound dates of Summer and Winter Solstice, and the spring and fall equinox as the main days of celebration. Besides his birthday, conquering dates which were celebrated in each captured nation as the 'day of salvation' and minor holidays of similar traits. None of these were days of gifts, in the traditional sense.

Her utter lack of knowledge in regards to Christmas had proven..peculiar.

Noticeably so.

"What do you mean you don't know about Christmas?!" Alice was flabbergasted, the petite little Gryffindor waving her hands around. "But, EVERYONE knows Christmas!"

"Well everyone heard you that's for certain.." Mel sighed, setting her book to one side of the table resigned in the realization this was probably going to be a mess. "I..look we just didn't have it growing up. "

"But the presents! And the Tree! And..you sing carols right? You tell stories?" Amelia had butted in at this, figuring her friend just was maybe from an older line. She didn't mention her history much, becoming uncomfortable and shy about it in a way that had Bones- her family having been Auror's since the position had been founded- convinced it hadn't been a very nice family. Undoubtedly pureblood. "Yule?"

"Ah. We didn't celebrate Yule. That's Celtic or Norse mostly..and having that celebration on American soil isn't really quite right. I wasn't native American so I didn't celebrate their seasonal days either.. it would be rather rude." Luckily everyone assumed when Melpomene said as much that it was because of the whole Pilgrams fiasco. While it was a good dose of truth, it was also because the spiritual nations had been refounded and brought into the fold by Lord Faust. The Native Nations had many of their original territories back, and had proven much less forgiving this time around. You did not claim any Indian traditions without being of the blood or much schooling, even joking about Medicine, or Totems was cause to be brought before the Tribal Elder's of the land you were nearest for recompensation. It was likely the reason Faust had gained control so swiftly, he'd seen a veritable untouched powerhouse in ancient magics the modern world had no comprehension of.

"I..okaaay..um..Saturnalia?"

"Not Italian, or Roman..or.."

"So you never gave presents?"

"On the Winter Solstice, to a few people sure but they were always something you made." Mel rubbed her nose with her glove. You gifted to the land on the spring and summer days, to your lessers..in otherwords to the mundanes and talentless squibs on the fall equinox. The only ones you gave to on the Winter Solstice was usually your superiors. Your master, your overseer, any instructors..it was a way of thanking them for what they gave to you. She'd already been making presents for Slughorn, Sprout, and Dumbledore. She had something very special she was working on for Fawkes..

"Well then, can you wait until Christmas for us to exchange our gifts? Mine wont be here for Solstice.." Alice commented and Mel froze, barely hiding her reaction to instead blink in 'thought'.

Oh. Apparently Christmas meant you gave things to your friends too?

"Ah, sure. What day is that?"

"The 25th. It's a few days after Solstice.."

Mel just nodded with a smile, it gave her time to think of what to make the others. The idea of buying something just..she couldn't do that. That was far too much of a change.

Not that she had the money to spare either. She had been pouring over the papers and was fully aware that for a squib there was very little work. She pinched her pennies and saved, the concept of having anything to actually save had taken some getting used to though. Any drop of coin she got from her little scholarship that was not needed, was carefully sent to Gringott's on a regular basis. She knew without a doubt that she would need to figure out something for summer. Dumbledore had covered for her the first few weeks of this year but it had been most extenuating circumstances.

It seemed she'd need to get drawing, luckily she could make due with ink and parchment. With any luck Dumbledore or Professor Flitwick will consent to do the charm that would bring the images to life for her. It was the only real thing she could think of as it was not as if she had the funds to go and get enough metal to actually shape anything for them.

()()()()()()()

Solstice, I had celebrated alone.

There was no way to explain my rituals and the like to my schoolmates, and so I had slipped out into the furthest borders of the school grounds. Stepping just out of the wards along the farthest from Hogsmeade location into the Scottish wilds. Breathing out softly my eyes had relaxed at the expanse of nothingness, I did no turn to look back at the castle. Instead I moved far into the expanse of wilds, until I knew the natural variation of the hills and stones around me would keep any prying eyes inside the school from catching sight.

Perhaps, in this era, rituals were extravagant. Lord Faust had insisted on otherwise. I had foods with me, all of which was either symbolic or just my favorites. That often was far more of importance to share what was favored by you then just what had been deemed symbolic by ancestors no one really knew. I had warm attire, the concept of going skyclad was frankly foolish especially when in areas so exposed to the elements. My skirts pooled around me as I sat on the thick blanket, my cloak tight around me near the fire I had built. I would be missed, no doubt, but as I did not share a room it would not be entirely impossible to sneak in or out. All one really had to do was mention Solstice and pull out what my year mates called 'puppy dog eyes' and it seemed all teachers would yield. It was..a strange thought.

I was no true witch. My magic was sealed from me save for force methods that would make the runes pull from my core in aching ways. And my gifts. I had been making much use of my artistic lesser base talent in the recent days in order to provide gifts for my new housemates and 'friends'. It was still such a foreign idea. An alliance that had no true mettle to it. I could not trust that these friends of mine would be as loyal as they thought. They were to a one of the light's embrace after all. I knew of the loyalty those in the dark shadows of the Dark Court held. An oath was an oath unless it behooved one to break it for advantage. Breaking it would cost the oathbreaker a hefty price. My mind simply would not wrap around that which my companions clung to so easily. Logic and mental acceptance were one thing, but it would not defeat my years of experience and molding.

Instead I was out here alone, with only a small carefully hidden fire that I fed twigs and small bits of fabric I had coated in different minerals to change the flames to a lovely blue color. I didn't wish to see the red and gold, the sparks that would remind me of EveryWhen. Greens and blues would be my companions this night as I drew out the metal scraps and cast offs I had found. Apparently if you asked the house elves for such junk they were mighty helpful. Was it peculiar of me that I felt more in kinship with my brief moments speaking to the house elves then my house mates in the school? I was meant to serve a dark wizard, I was meant to have protectors and defenders in exchange for my servitude.

Closing my eyes, feeling the buzz of my senses as I let my eyes unfocus my fingers shifted along the course metal lumps.

It was solstice night.

I sang.

As always in the nevermore of my music Melpomene's legacy came to me. Tragedy only fed my gift and made it more beautiful. This was as it should be. I flourished under the canopy of stars only breaking the eternal darkness with small bits of light. Each enhancing the other. My heartbreaking tunes were moving in their despairing sorrow, the tragedies creating their own uplift. In the darkness and despair could be the seeds of the utmost beauty. I did not pay attention when my fingers sought from one finished shape to the next cold material waiting to be turned into something else. My songs continued. I was in a daze much as those I had often times witnessed at formal events that had imbibed far too much of my Master's beverages.

I felt the tingle in my toes, a languidness to my head and neck that rolled about on my shoulders. I took small moments to consume my meal, always leaving half to one third of my items that I would cast about. The best items, those I loved most, I would leave half out in the dishes I shaped for them. These were my offerings and I knew all evidence of the actual organic material would vanish in a few days. Not in a flash of magical acceptance but because the insects and mammalian and avian residents of the area would feast upon the unexpected bounty.

It was the act that mattered. The doing. The giving.

My eyes nearly closed several times as I lost myself into the magic bound haze of my talents. I gave myself over as I had not since I came there. The brief forays to create my false wand did not count for that was directed. Tiny figures and forms came from my scrap material without my conscious directives. The whimsey of each moment would instead alter what I was leaving behind. Perhaps the seeming innocuous gifts would be found by another student wandering. One who put much stock in materials and would find something I had made and read far too much into it. They would see it as a gift, perhaps from some patron spirit and it would warm them and make them create sweeping tales and generalizations.

It was the way so much often was.

After dawn crept it's way there I set aside the last of my food I had smuggled..much of it fruit so I would have less need for fluids. Wrapping myself into the blanket I had been sitting on I gathered the remainder of my creations, those that were not being simply left there for finding by whomever went into my basket I had brought my meal in.

After all, keeping any of the items save for those meant for a gift was pointless. The creation was the act of reverence, and I felt dazed and exhausted from the process.

Anything not meant for a specific person I just left.

The sacrifice of the rest of my crafts was my own thanks for the Talents I have.

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