"What is this?" I spat as the car pulled up. "Who booked this job for me?"

"Tobirama requested it ma'am." Said my secretary carefully.

I looked up from the window of the car to a towering skyscraper. Utakata was silent beside me. Both he and my secretary regarded me like I was a doll to break at anything above a whisper.

"I refuse. Hand me my phone Utakata. I'll call Tobirama myself." I held out my hand.

"Zena you can't refuse at this point. This is a high paying job. Please reconsider." He grabbed my hand. "It won't be bad."

I glared at him. "No. I refuse. I will not step inside that building."

Utakata frowned. "Stop acting spoiled."

"I can act spoiled if I want to! I won't do it!" My voice was breaking. I felt like a cornered dog. "Give me my phone."

"Look at this with a calm mind. What is wrong with this job? They want you to be the new face of the company. It's a good contract. Think of the money."

I gritted my teeth. "This is where... it's his company..."

Utakata pulled against my hand and wrapped two thin but strong arms around me. "I know it might be hard. But what are the chances of you running into him? This is a large company. You will be working in the advertisement division. He is probably somewhere else stuck behind a desk."

I swallowed and gripped his shirt. "Come with me."

"I can't, you know that." He said.

I pulled back slowly. "I can't then." I knew he had another appointment himself but I wanted to be selfish.

"You can. It's been five years."

I took a deep breath. "Fine."

He gave me a smile. "You're already running late."

I nodded and stepped outside of the car. A man in a black suit was waiting with his hands behind his back.

"Miss Utakata?" He bowed.

I slipped on my sunglasses and sighed. "Yes."

"Welcome to Sabaku corporation." He said. "I'll be showing you today. First we have some paperwo-"

"I know the deal." I strode past him. How many times had I done this? How could it feel so foreign now, walking into the vast building. Knowing that he was quite possibly a dozen floors above me? I felt the weight of it crushing the breath out of me. Would I be able to work in these conditions?

Was Gaara even aware I was here? Or had he forgotten my name by now? Five years was enough for any normal person to move on.

"We look forward to working with you. We have already made contact with your attendant. Tomorrow at six in the morning I will send someone to retrieve you for the first shoot." A woman in a contrast dress was saying.

I nodded absently, wanting to escape the building. We stepped inside an elevator and she pressed a button. "They told me you had never been to our corporation before. I'll show you around the necessary parts so you do not get lost. We will be seeing much of you now right?"

I tried to remember the name of the annoying girl. She was someone important. A director of the advertisement division. I couldn't afford to offend her by refusing her offer. It was a smart idea anyways. I'd much rather know my way around the building than risk getting lost. Especially when there was a chance of running into him.

The woman showed me around the advertising floor. She introduced me to several important people. The chief operating officer, two members on the board of directors, Senior Vice President of Operations of the vacation resorts. She showed me the floors of the highest members of network and television consumer products, Interactive media, and slowly it dawned on me just how great this company was. How many employee's they must have. Dozens of divisions each with their own chains of command all leading up to one powerful man on the top.

I was intimidated.

"And this is the lunch floor. We have a small cafe for breaks." Said the woman as she led us into a cafe that was anything but small.

"But do the employees not prefer to get away from work on their breaks?" I asked.

"Ah no! On the contrary, as you can see, this is a very popular spot. Every since Gaara Sabaku took over the company he's encouraged a family like atmosphere. It can be hard in a company this size, which is why he created a cafe and only one in the entire building. We find that the more time we spend together like a family, the better we work."

I glanced around the building. So Gaara was responsible for all of this? The place was very crowded but now that I looked I saw that everyone got along. I saw superior Vice presidents greeting common workers. It didn't feel like a first tier company but like a family owned restaurant.

"He did well, didn't he?"

"I've been with the company for thirty years. I'll admit I was skeptical at first to have someone so young run the company, but I was proven wrong. He's a dozen times better than any officer we've ever had before." She spoke proudly.

I nodded, that made sense. "Get me some mineral water." I said, then remembered I couldn't offend her and added, "Please."

The woman nodded. "Right away."

I stood against a counter. By now a few people were noticing me. Some just stared but others were bolder. A pretty young girl approached.

"U-um sorry are you..." She hesitated.

"Zena Ukitake. And you are?" I smiled.

The girl lit up. "My name's Matsuri! I don't know if you remember me! We went to school together!"

I studied her face. Brown hair, short, but pretty. I remembered her alright. "Yes. We did didn't we?"

She looked excited that I'd recognized her. "I'm glad you remembered Ma'am. It's been so long. I saw you're latest movie with Mister Utakata! It was amazing. I watched it four times before it even came out on DVD!"

I let out a laugh and then leaned down to whisper in her ear. "What's up with the formalities? Why don't you just call me slut or bitch like you used to. Ne? Matsuri-chan?"

She looked like she'd been slapped in the face. I stood back up and crossed my arms. Others were coming over to speak now. It felt good to put her in that place. I knew it wasn't fair of me. Matsuri hadn't been the one to call me those things. She never participated in the game of 'make Zena feel like shit' But she'd never stopped it either. There was a rush from causing her pain that I loved though.

"I- that wasn't..."

"Don't worry. You're so far below me now nothing you say could offend me. A lion doesn't listen to the squeaking of a rat." I smirked. People were getting to close to say anything else. I put an elegant smile on my face. "I'm so glad to hear you liked my movie. If it wasn't for the fans I wouldn't be here."

Before Matsuri could think of anything to say she was ushered to the side by others eager to shake hands and talk with me. I indulged in the compliments and greetings. I expressed how happy I was to work with the company and how much of an honor it was. All the bullshit you had to give.

Then I glanced over and Matsuri was gone. What a pity I couldn't play with her more. I closed my eyes and sighed.

But when I opened them, directly in my line of sight was someone else.

From across the room through a sea of people I could see the door to the Cafe open. I could see red hair peer through a crowd of his own as he entered.

I stopped laughing and smiling with those around me. I didn't see them or hear them anymore.

Gaara was in the same room as me.

I shouldn't have been able to recognize him. He was so different. His hair was an inch longer. His eyes were still sea green but not nearly as dark. He was taller I could tell. His shoulders broader and completely filling out his black suit. But the most pressing and obvious difference was his eyes.

He looked at a coworker who was speaking and then laughed. His laughter was low but rich. He was smiling and joking and I could tell that he was happy. Happier than I had ever seen him. There wasn't a trace of his gangster high school self. No sadness or hate. He was truly... happy.

Happier than he had ever been with me. I guess I expected that if I ever saw him again he'd be miserable That he'd have torn himself up over our breakup and his heart would still be just as broken and empty as mine. I thought he'd be regretting his decision to end things.

But it was now obvious just how foolish that was. Of course after five years he would be over it. We were twenty three now.

I couldn't do this. I wanted to run away. I never though I would run into him. I never wanted to see him again. He was a relic of the past. I wanted to erase him from my memories and I'd tried so hard to do just that.

But I couldn't run away now, not with so many watching me. I turned and smiled to someone speaking to me. "Excuse me." I said.

No, If Gaara could be so happy and over it all, so could I. I wanted to show him that I was as happy as he was. I was living a fairy tale life of the rich and famous. I walked forward through the parting crowd. I chose every step carefully. Like I was on the runway. I wanted it to seem natural, smooth, like a commercial shoot.

Gaara turned and his eyes swept over the crowd past me. Then his whole body froze and they locked back onto mine.

I forced it out, that perfect commercial smile. Utakata was the only one that could see past it.

Gaara wasn't smiling anymore.

I closed the difference between us, and the crowd moved in anticipation. I stopped feet from him. "Long time no see. Gaara."

He slowly nodded. "Zena." He seemed at a loss for just what to say. I was glad I approached him first, lest our positions been reversed and I'd look like a fool.

"Nice company you've got here." I smirked.

He nodded. "Nice of you to stop by."

I shook my head. "You didn't know? Your advertising department decided I'd make a good face for your company."

It seemed all he could do of late was nod. "They did..."

So he hadn't been told ahead of time? I was glad to catch him off guard. So he may be over me but he was still surprised to see me. That made me feel good. It made me want to push things further. "How have you been? It's been so long. We should catch up."

Perhaps now I was being cruel. I was pretending to an unnatural point.

"I have been well. Busy. How have you been?"

I opened my mouth to brag about something made up but before the words could come out I was rudely uninterrupted.

"Gaara!" Someone cheered from behind him. We both looked behind him. I was more than a little annoyed.

"Sari." He nodded.

I felt a vain twitch. Sari?

A girl with long hair, just as pretty as Matsuri, walked up to Gaara's side with a small bag in front of her. "I brought you lunch from-"

she stopped talking when she saw me. Her grin grew wide. "Oh it can't be! Zena! Zena Ukitake?"

Testily I nodded. Did she remember me as Matsuri had?

Sari raised a hand. "Oh gosh it's so good to meet you. I'm Sari! I'm a huge fan of your work! I love the movie you did with Utakata. You two are dating right? Are you going to act again? My friend and I saw the movie a dozen times! We even have the lines memorized. Oh I wish I had something for you to sign!"

I was surprised. It seemed she didn't remember me from high school Was I that easy to forget back then? I chuckled. I couldn't tease her as I had Matsuri with so many people around. Glancing at Gaara quickly and then back to the girl I nodded. "Yes. We're dating. He's trying to get me to act again with him but, modeling is more my passion Who knows though. If it would help his career I'd be willing to do another movie. After all for the one you love, you'd do just about anything ne?" I forced a giggle.

Gaara put a hand on Sari's shoulder. "Calm down." He gave his own smile.

"Do you work here?" I asked Sari with so much sweetness to my voice it made me thirsty.

She nodded eagerly. "I do. I heard they hired you but it's so different to see you in real life."

"She's my secretary." Said Gaara.

Sari puffed out her lips. "Don't be so cold babe!" She hugged onto his arm. "I even brought you a sweet steamed bun! It's red bean! You have to be nice to me."

My smile faltered for a brief second. Babe? Bringing him lunch?

"I'm his Fiance." Sari smiled proudly.

I could't smile back. I could't even pretend I was okay with this. "Red bean Gaara? I thought you didn't like things so sweet."

Gaara nodded. "My tastes have changed."

"I can see that." I smirked. We weren't talking about his food choices anymore.

It grew awkward between us. Sari began asking questions on how we knew each other I wanted to answer that. It was the perfect time to crush her little fantasy. To make her remember the names she'd called me. To remind her that Gaara was mine first. I was trying coming up with the best way to say the most hateful thing in the sweetest way to her.

Gaara beat me to it.

"We had a class together at the university." Said Gaara. "Before fame separated us we were lab partners."

My mouth opened in shock. Lab partners? Not even friends? Just lab partners? Was that all.

We had never officially dated, but it was an understanding that we were more than lab partners.

I didn't know how to react to that or what to say. He was lying obviously. Did he not want anyone to know? Was he ashamed to have dated me? Was I a relic he wished to erase as well? A bad choice he made?

Now it made sense. He must have been glad when we broke it off and I never again contacted him. He was probably relieved. It was a forced, painful relationship anyways.

I thought up until that point that we had been in love with each other, but I was wrong. So clearly wrong.

Only I was in love. And what had that love done? It made it so now, even five years later, I was stuck speechless in front of him. I knew I had to recover! I had to put that happy face back on and let them know it was fine. I wasn't bothered by his lie. It was so hard.

A collection of murmurs and gasps filled the room. First I was conceited enough to think they noticed my response and were thinking horrible things. Thinking that I was after another girls man. They knew I was hurt by his response.

"Zena."

Cold washed over me, bringing me back to life. A hand was on my shoulder. I looked up and instantly was able to relax. "Uta."

He scanned the couple in front of us, taking time to acknowledge Sari's grip on Gaara.

"Utakata, I don't think you've met Gaara and his Fiance Sari have you?"

"Gaara. Long time no see."

"Y-you know both of them?" Sari asked Gaara.

"Yes. It's as you said Gaara. I was your lab partner but so was Utakata, wasn't he?" I smirked.

Utakata narrowed his eyes. He was catching on and he was angry.

"You were taking too long. I grew concerned." He said. "You have a habit of getting lost."

Silence spread

Sari was the first to speak. "So it's true! You really are dating. You make such a cute couple."

I laughed. "Thank you. I think so too."

Utakata kissed my cheek, causing a collection of ooh's and aw's to run through the room.

"It seems Gaara is eating sweets now. He's changed hm?" I asked Utakata.

Utakata nodded. "Interesting. I'm not as different as you Gaara. I'm still in love with sour things. Same as five years ago." He rubbed my shoulder.

"Well as lovely as this meeting was, I'm afraid we've got to get back to our hotel. Maybe I'll see you around, working together and all." I smirked. "Oh, and it was nice to meet you. Sari."

Utakata and I walked as fast as we could out of the building We didn't say anything the entire way, but he never took his arm from around my shoulder. Even when we were in the car we rode in silence and up to our hotel sweet.

I felt cold. Pretending to be fine was harder than it had ever been before. It was physically taxing. If Utakata hadn't intervened when he had, I might have had a serious problem. I had been dangerously close to rudely bolting away.

I sank into the bed, leaning against the headboard. "I'm cold." I said.

Utakata crawled beside me and wrapped his arm back around me. "I didn't think this would happen. I shouldn't have made you go."

My eyes closed. Sari and Gaara. I never thought that would happen. I turned and pressed my palm against Utakata's chest. "I don't want to think about it."

He nodded.

The distance between us closed. I kissed him. "Help me forget." I demanded

Utakata didn't protest. His held me lightly at first, but slowly his grip tightened. I turned, leaning over him and looked down into his yellow eyes. So different than Gaara's. Utakata let out a breath of air and his hands traveled up my stomach, helping my shirt off. He ran his fingers over my ribs. I grabbed his hands and helped him remove his top as well.

"I want to forget everything." I whispered into his neck between kisses.

It was wrong. Sinful and lustful. It reminded me so much of a man I used to know. Madara. The embraces were similar. But I had found that Utakata had the power to erase the worries. If only for the hour before we drifted off to sleep.

It was an accident the first time, something that was only supposed to happen once. But I found that sleeping was the hardest part. The hours before my body would fall into the nightmares I would be left awake with all the pain flashing through my mind. Images of my lost loves. Thoughts of what I should have done differently. Regret. Pain. Loneliness. It was too much.

But when Utakata was with me at night, he was able to make it go away. Warm my blood and erase all the worries So no matter how wrong it was and even if it hurt Utakata in the long run, I selfishly demanded he help me. And he had never refused.

"You're rather cruel." He whispered into my ear.

I nodded. He had told me so often before. "Whatever keeps me alive."

His words carried weight. I knew I was cruel. I was selfish. I knew I was hurting him in the long run but as I had told him, I'd do whatever was necessary to keep me alive.