a/n: hello again! i wrote this chapter pretty quick which is really surprising but my muse has been really high so i'm very happy about it! i just wanted to say a few things before starting this chapter off so here we go:
the gist of this story involves a lot of back and forth—are they friends are they not friends are they more than friends, etc., etc. while i've made it clear that it's going to be a story about unrequited feelings, i wanted you guys to know that that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to end in a sad way! for the first few chapters i'm going to be focusing on the details of finn and rachel's friendship because i think that's important, it's something that glee lacked, and in this story their friendship is going to be their foundation when it comes to their relationship evolving into something more than strictly just friends.
with that in mind—i had a few questions for you guys to think about regarding this story: i've had it in my head that this was going to be a story focused mostly in rachel's point of view but i was wondering if you guys would like it if maybe i did some chapters in finn's point of view as well? let me know what you think and enjoy!
quick edit: this is a finchel story guys! so don't worry-it's about finn and rachel, it's about doing cute things together, being friends, being more than that and there's gonna be loads of drama in between. i love finchel and i've truly always believed that they were/are perfect for each other so if that helps in regards to how you think this story is going to pan out, so be it! i apologize for the super long a/n, as always-let me know what you think, constructive criticism is encouraged!
Rachel had accidentally fallen asleep on Finn's mattress the night that she had first seen the apartment. She doesn't recall very much, her mind fuzzy with sleep, but what she does remember is a long conversation occurring between the two about how different New York was from Ohio—a very obvious insinuation to be made. It was a refreshing conversation though—Finn reminded her of home and everything that Lima was, leaving her feeling somewhat nostalgic the morning that she woke up.
The first thing that she noticed was just how nice it was to see the sunlight streaming through the two large windows in the living room, something that she had pictured in her mind when she first set her sights on them. The view was—well it wasn't much of a view at all considering the fact it was a Bushwick loft, but she could see the clear blue skies and that was all Rachel really needed. Once she was finally starting to really wake up and take in her surroundings, she noticed that she was wrapped up in multiple blankets that hadn't been there when she fell asleep and then, her eyes fell to the body that was sleeping a few feet from her on the floor. She makes a mental note to thank Finn later for being chivalrous and sacrificing his comfort for her, but the only thing that she cared about in that moment was getting back to Kurt's to take that shower that she so desperately needed. So she left Finn's, (well now, their) apartment as quietly as she could so she didn't wake him and took the subway back to Soho.
When she returned to Kurt's, he was already awake and making Blaine breakfast—she took the time to tell him all about how nice the loft was and how Finn had managed to assuage all of her doubts. It was a perfect opportunity and she didn't want to waste any more time on thinking about the move, she just needed it to happen. After breakfast (and a well needed shower on Rachel's part) they gathered the troops—meaning Kurt, Blaine, Brit, Santana and Mercedes and got a U-Haul, taking all of Rachel's things up to the loft in Bushwick. Kurt had notified Jesse a little earlier that day by sending him a strongly worded email that they were going to collect all of her furniture and important items that she had left in their previous shared apartment and move it into Rachel's new home. He simply emailed Kurt back with a curt 'Fine' and managed to be a decent human being for once by staying away from the apartment during the allotted time Kurt and the crew would be visiting. For safety measures, Rachel didn't actually go up to the apartment until she got the 'all clear' text from Kurt. Once she did though, she was up there quickly gathering all of her possessions while Mercedes stood outside to make sure Jesse didn't come up.
Rachel was just relieved that she didn't need to cross paths with the guy, that her friends had her back. She wasn't ready for any interaction with him; it was far too soon for that, even the thought made her a little queasy.
Regardless, they managed to move everything in—with mostly Finn doing all of the work. But that was that. Finn and Rachel both compromised on certain aspects of the loft, parts of it managed to be very Rachel-esque and other parts very Finn-like. It wounded up being good combination, thus marking the end of a month long problem.
As weeks pass, Rachel comes to realize that living with Finn is very simple—but it's not like she's ever really around much to make it hard. With her nannying job and summer internship as a teaching assistant for ballet at NYADA, her schedule seemed to always be full. The only time she really saw Finn was on Sunday's and he was too busy watching a football game to really pay attention to her (on those days she mostly just relaxed in her room with a good book and cup of tea—only coming out to eat meals.)
She's on her way to Kurt and Blaine's after a long week that didn't really offer her any breaks with the two girls she nannies for holding both of her hands as they walked up to the Soho apartment.
"Rachie, is Blaine home today?" Scout, the younger one of the two asks. The little girl had just turned four years old about a week ago and she was still wearing her pink 'Birthday Girl' pin that was attached to her yellow cotton sundress.
"I'm not sure, angel. We'll see when we get there."
"Will you let me press the button, please?" Magnolia asks, reaching her arm up with a sickeningly sweet smile on her face. "I can reach it now—since I'm eight years old, mom says I can do grown up things just like her."
Magnolia was only a few years older than her younger sister Scout, leaving her at the age of seven. She was just as cute just with a little more of an attitude. But Rachel adored the two girls nonetheless and whenever Rachel had the opportunity to go to Blaine and Kurt's, she made sure the two girls tagged along with her.
"Mommy says I can do grown up things too—I wanna press the button." Scout interjects and Rachel can't help but smile as the two little ones bicker over who's going to press the button, even when they are hindering her slightly.
"We're gonna let Mags ring it first, okay. But when Kurt asks who's here you can be the one to tell him it's us, sound good?" She tells them, more than asks them, looking at Scout directly to make sure the younger one understands her loud and clear.
The younger girl looks at her older sister and then back at Rachel before nodding her head in agreement. Rachel smiles and tells Magnolia she can press the button and just as she knew he would, Kurt rings them in—both girls getting what they want.
The first thing Scout does when they get up to the apartment is ask Kurt where Blaine is, when her question is answered by Blaine's sudden presence, she runs into his arms like she hadn't just seen him two days before (which she had, Scout's favorite person in the world besides her mother was Blaine Anderson, and what kind of nanny would Rachel be if she refused the girl the pure joy she got whenever in his presence.)
Blaine clears his throat after picking Scout up from the floor, his eyes focused on Magnolia who was still holding onto Rachel's hand. "Magnolia, you've never walked into this house without giving me a hug—what's changed? Hmm?"
Mags looks up at Rachel, her eyes wide as if she's waiting for Rachel's permission. She lets go of the girls hand and smiles, Magnolia immediately running towards Blaine and clutching onto his leg. "How about a game of twister? Sound good?" The two girls squeal in excitement at his suggestion, Magnolia sprinting down the hall and Rachel quickly gets Blaine's attention so she can mouth a Thank You to him as he successfully takes them off her hands for a bit.
"Did you give Finn the subway pass that I so kindly procured for him?" Kurt asks Rachel as they head over to the kitchen and sit at the island.
"I did, yes. He also told me to tell you that you're a great step-brother for doing that and he thanks you." She offers, knowing fully well that Finn didn't actually say that—at least not along those lines but she figures that it wouldn't hurt and that Kurt would appreciate the sentiment regardless.
"Well I'm not so sure why he needs a subway pass anyways since I have it on good authority that he has no idea what the subway even is." Kurt huffs, rolling his eyes.
"That's not true, I went on the subway with him once—he seemed like he got the gist."
"Once." Kurt reiterates, his gaze coming down on her in a harsher way than it had when she had entered just a few minutes ago. "I've actually been meaning to talk to you about this but—" he pauses, like he's trying to decide if he should carry his sentence on or stop right there. Apparently he goes for the former "do you even talk to the guy? I mean—for Christ sake, Rachel, you live with Finn and yet all he does is talk about how bored he is and how weird the city is. He's been here for three weeks! Three whole weeks and when I asked him where Bryant Park was, do you know what he said?"
Rachel's not sure if his question is rhetorical or not so just to be safe, she simply raises her eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "He said, and I quote; 'near The Statue of Liberty… or something.' The Statue of Liberty, Rachel! Do you know how ridiculous that is?"
"I mean, it is a little on the ridiculous side since Lady Liberty is in water and—well, we all know Finn's not exactly the brightest of the bunch and—"
"No, no, Rachel." Kurt says, interrupting her. Her eyes widen just a little at how passionate he seems about this but Kurt's always been like that with Finn, brotherly love and all. "You know, Finn was dumb in high school, I can admit that. He was as dumb as a hammer—or whatever that saying is. But he got an education and he's been teaching for a while now, he grew up! He's not that idiot quarterback that thought he knocked up Quinn Fabray via ejaculation in a hot tub or used to slushy us back in high school. He's a lot smarter now—he just never leaves the damn loft and I can't believe you've been so wrapped up in yourself the past few weeks that you haven't even—"
"Excuse me I have been extremely nice to him and nothing but a wonderful room—"
"Let me finish." Kurt warns, his glare so sharp that it makes her shut up immediately. "He barely leaves the loft and when he does, he gets lost so then he gives up and hibernates some more. I know that you're not Finn's mother nor are you responsible for him but I thought the least you could do was maybe show him around—be a good roommate. That's all."
"All you had to do was ask me to give him a mini tour of the city, Kurt and I would've. I've just been busy and whenever I ask him about his day he usually always says it was great or that he spent time with you so I figured he was fine!" It's not a lie either, but if Rachel is being completely honest, she hasn't been giving much thought to Finn. She considers them to be these two kindred spirits who simply share a living space and go on about their days in peace.
"All I'm asking is maybe consider being his friend. He could use some and I'm pretty sure he's tired of discussing Vogue arrangements, or what Pantone swatch would complement the living room if I were to get new curtains. Maybe just go take a ride with him on the subway, show him the train route that he needs to take to get to Loyola so he's not completely lost on his way to work every day—I don't know. He's just suffocating me, Rachel and I feel bad for the guy. I don't want him to hate it here especially since I spent so much time talking up the place and telling him how great it was going to be having him around."
Rachel feels extremely guilty all of a sudden and so she's nodding her head before she even really considers anything else. "I can do that." She reassures Kurt, looking down at her folded hands in her lap. "I've got a busy day tomorrow, ballet at nine for two hours and then the girls for the rest of the day but I could take him out on Saturday. Ballet's still at nine but Mags and Scout get their mom so I'll be free to do whatever." Rachel smiles softly, making mental notes in her head and reminding herself to really sit down and map out her schedule to make sure this is going to work, and maybe make some free time for herself in the weeks to come. She's confident that it will all be fine and work out just the way it should. She reaches over and takes her best friends hand into hers, making sure that he realizes how bad she feels. "I'm so sorry, Kurt—really. I know how important it is to you that Finn's here now. I've just been throwing myself into as much as I possibly can because it's better than thinking about—well, him." (Jesse, she thinks and she wonders how it's gotten to this point where she can't even say his name out loud)—"and well, I'll make sure he knows that he's got a friend in me. I promise."
Kurt looks at her sternly, his face strictly serious for a second before a smile breaks across it. "Pinky promise."
Rachel smiles back just as wide. "Pinky promise." She repeats back, and they both wrap their pinkies together and kiss the outside of their own hands just as they've always done since high school.
"Now go get those two rascals away from my man and take them to the park or something." Kurt jokes, nudging her playfully before she calls out to the two girls that it's time to leave, a chorus of "No's" "Not yet's" and drawn out "Boo's" coming from the three of them.
The Saturday morning that Rachel had planned to show Finn around the city was a pleasantly cool one—surprisingly, considering that it was the second week of July and the days had been even stickier and unbearably sweltering than usual. Her ballet class had been a vigorous one; she had taken the reigns that morning since the actual teacher was out sick. Today though, the girls and boys had been particularly petty. A room filled with young sixteen year olds coming into their adolescence was difficult enough to begin with, but during a modern rendition of Minkus', La Bayadere, Rachel had to break apart a physical interaction between two girls who had been fighting over the same boy and whatever nostalgia she might have had for high school quickly evaporated in that room.
She left the studio a mess, her hair frazzled and sticking up in all kinds of places and her mood in the gutter. When she got back to the apartment—Finn nowhere in sight, she opted for a quick shower to wash off the teen angst that had been dropped on her and made herself as presentable as she could manage.
She knocked on Finn's bedroom door shortly afterwards, hearing a groan and some muffled noises going on before Finn opened the door and Rachel was yet again face to face with his chest, bare—his bare chest. Tilting her head upwards in order to make eye contact with the oaf—she smiled softly. "Were you sleeping?" She asks, ducking her head around his frame in order to see that his bed was in fact, not made, and room horrendously messy.
"Well, I mean—I was drifting here and there." He answers sheepishly, his hand going to the back of his neck to rub at the spot there, a motion that Rachel had witnessed many times over the few encounters she's had with Finn.
"It's twelve, Finn." She points out, pulling out her phone and showing it to him for solid proof. "You've wasted half of the day already."
He shrugs in response, still standing, shirtless at his doorframe. "Well don't just stand there! Go get dressed, I'm taking you out."
Finn looks at her as if she's just grown two heads but she really doesn't understand his confusion with the matter, especially since she's put it very plain and simply. For a second Rachel has to question what Kurt said about Finn not being that same idiot quarterback that she so vividly remembers him being in high school. Right now, she thought, he seemed like a very dim witted boy.
Seeing as he doesn't move, she lets out a long, exasperated exhale, her hands moving to her hips. "I don't have all day, Finn. I am a very busy person. Get dressed; wear sensible shoes because we'll be walking a lot. We're taking the subway to make sure you know your routes and then I was thinking I'll bring you to the Empire State Building. It's a little windy which means there'll be a few less people out today so it's somewhat ideal."
Rachel doesn't give him a chance to respond, instead, strutting away from his bedroom in order to go and make herself a to-go mug of coffee—lord knows that she's going to need it.
"So you're gonna take the J train first and that's gonna always take you to Little Italy—but you always have to pay attention on the ride there because it's a quick stop and once the doors close you're stuck until Bowey Street, aka China Town. Once you're there though you're gonna—" Rachel pauses mid-sentence to look up at Finn, watching as he dazes off, his attention focused on everything except for her. "Finn—are you even paying attention to anything that I'm saying."
"Huh?" He finally looks down at her, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he perks up a little and adjusts his posture. "Uh, yeah—I gotta take the F Train or something."
"The J—ugh, god. Pay attention, I'm not the one who's gonna be going to work like this every morning, you need to know this otherwise you're never going to teach anyone at this rate."
"Okay, okay—geez. Sorry, Berry." He shrugs, giving her a lopsided smile before somewhat aggressively throwing his arm around her. It's a little awkward considering their height difference but she knows it would be rude to shrug him off so she lets it slide—only because she knows Kurt really wants them to be friends and she can't really deny him that simple request.
Rachel repeats what she had been explaining to him before, making sure he's actually paying attention this time and once she gets around to explaining how he needs to switch trains to the 4 and 5 express line, they're already maneuvering their way onto the crowded subway, attempting to find a seat but failing miserably. Due to Finn's stature and length of his arms he's able to grip onto the handles that are attached to the very top of the train. Seeing that everyone has occupied a pole and there are no seats for the much smaller girl, she begrudgingly holds onto Finn's bicep, looking at his facial expression to see if there's any protest there and when there's not, she keeps her hand there, trying very hard not to jolt forward every time the train accelerates or stops.
Roughly fifteen minutes go by and the train comes to an abrupt stop, practically throwing Rachel off of her feet. If it hadn't been for Finn's arm coming around and circling her waist—she probably would've fallen face first. Eyes wide, she looks up at Finn whose hand is still gripping her hip and gives him a curt 'Thank you.' She expects him to move his arm since the train was steady once again but instead he keeps it there until a few more minutes pass and they're being notified that this is the Little Italy stop. She tugs on his arm to let him know it's their time to get off and only checks once behind her to make sure Finn is in tow.
Once her feet are on solid ground again, she lets out a breath of relief, only noticing that Finn's with her when she hears his voice. "Where to now, tour guide?" He asks and Rachel has to force back an eye roll, reminding herself that she's trying to be friendly and not off-putting. It's just a challenge, Finn seems like a great person but frankly, this is a waste of her time. She doesn't say this, of course—but she's definitely feeling some resentment towards him. It's very subtle though, she'll swear to it.
"Well," she starts, her eyes roaming around the bustling train stop as she begins to walk to the stairs that will lead them out of there. "I figured we have two options—we can continue our trek to Loyola or…" she pauses when they've reached the top of the stairs and are faced with red, white and green colors everywhere, telling them both exactly where they are, no questions about it. "Or we can walk around Little Italy for a bit; maybe get some gelato or something. Your choice though."
"I have no idea what a gelato is but I'm in."
Rachel finds it easy to ignore him/not take anything he say's seriously at all. She begins leading the way to her favorite Italian ice cream shop that she and Kurt have gone to quite regularly since their freshman year of college, feeling his presence beside her that tells her he's in fact, still with her and keeping up. They get there in the matter of minutes and she's telling Finn to pick out two flavors while she goes and pays for them. Finn protests for a second, pulling his wallet out but she simply brushes him off, explaining "what are friends for other than to buy each other Italian ice cream." It managed to shut him up for a while as the two of them licked respectively at their cones in silence.
It was probably the worst thing that could happen at that moment. One second she was peacefully minding her own business and having a relatively normal day then out of nowhere, she's forced to watch Jesse St. James, in the flesh, walk into (conveniently) the same exact Little Italy gelato shop that she was in.
A million different scenarios rush into Rachel's head and it feels like she's reliving the entire night all over again. The blonde girl underneath her fiancé, Jesse smelling of sex, glass from the champagne bottle that Rachel dropped shattered all around her.
She feels like she's going to pass out or maybe throw up—she's not sure but she can vaguely hear Finn asking if she's alright somewhere and she's standing up before her body is really registering it, telling Finn—or maybe even herself that she needs to leave. But before she can go anywhere, Jesse's there—in front of her and she doesn't know what to do. Instead, she just stands there and lets him gently put his hand on her elbow.
"Rachel, it's so nice to see you. It's been so long and—and well I was hoping that maybe I'd run into you somewhere so that we could talk. I mean, considering that you don't answer any of my texts or calls… or voicemails."
His voice makes her feel physically ill, it's laced with regret and guilt and—and she's pretty sure he's subtly making himself the victim in the situation. She hates him—hates that this is happening and it's not even because she really does actually hate him. If she's being honest, it's because she feels the opposite about him. She misses this, misses everything about him, misses his touch and his lips and his soft brunette tendrils under the pads of her fingers. She's going to cry; if she doesn't get out of there she just knows she's going to cry, full on sob. So she pushes his hand off of her elbow, swallowing hard. "I have nothing to say to you."
"Please Rachel; just hear me out, okay? I've never been able to apologize properly and all I want to do is have a conversation about it, that's all. I love you, Rachel. I miss you and I love you and I just want to—"
"I don't want to talk to you." Rachel says, her voice shaky and her eyes glued to the floor, roaming around so that they would look at anything but him.
"Rachel, please—"
"She said she doesn't want to talk to you, dude." Finn steps in, nudging Jesse away gently and in a very non-aggressive way with his forearm. "Leave it alone."
"Who's this?" Jesse asks, his gaze falling directly to Rachel. She doesn't respond, continuing to look at the floor and occasionally up at Finn.
"Listen, man—"
"No you listen to me, Lumps the Clown." Jesse interjects, cutting Finn off. Rachel looks up at Finn, his face contorting into one of confusion at Jesse's lame attempt at an insult. "That is my fiancée and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let an orca get in the way of—"
"I am not your fiancée." Rachel puts simply, her voice steady this time. "You lost your fiancée when you decided to—to fuck another girl behind my back. I wish I wasn't here right now because simply being around you makes me physically sick to my stomach. I want nothing to do with you; I can't be in the same room as you let alone even look at you. So next time you see me in public, do us both a favor and don't approach me." Rachel lets out a deep breath, mumbling a 'let's go, Finn,' before turning on her heels and exiting the establishment that has now been tainted due to her horrible taste in men. She doesn't look back either, doesn't even stick around to see if her words had any impact on him at all and she's proud of herself—at least in that respect.
Time passes as Rachel's fast walk away from Jesse gradually turns into one that is more mopey—something that she swore she wouldn't do. It's been nothing but static silence between her and Finn as they simply just walk side by side, something that she doesn't know if she's content with or if it makes her slightly uncomfortable. In retrospect, it doesn't matter because just as soon as she thinks of it, the silence is broken by Finn.
"Are you alright Rachel?"
"I'm fine." She lies, exhaling quietly.
"Are you sure? Because whatever that was, it didn't sound very—"
"I am fine, Finn!" She stops abruptly in the middle of the bustling sidewalk, turning to him while letting people pass by her and groan at her to get out of the way. "I am. I'm just… I'm fine." She's not though, she knows it and Finn knows it and all of a sudden, she's crying. It's not even the subtle cry either, the one that Rachel is famous for. She wishes it could be just tears rolling down her face while her nose just gets a little bigger and redder than usual. Instead, she's wailing—tears are streaming down her face, she's being loud, sobs escaping her swollen lips and she's pretty sure that if Finn hadn't wrapped her up in his arms, she would've collapsed on the disgusting, germ ridden New York street.
They stay like this for a while, Rachel isn't exactly sure how long or how much time passes by but her crying doesn't ever really subside either. A good chunk of time must go by, at least enough time to make Finn feel impatient with her because after a while he starts nudging her away from his body and gripping onto her shoulders, rubbing them as if it was winter and she was cold or something. "Rachel, Rachel—listen you've gotta stop."
She hears him, she knows that he's right too, this is too much—she can't be on the street just crying for hours. It's almost like she's having a panic attack of sorts, her breathing is everywhere and she can't stop sobbing like a lunatic and Finn must think she's absolutely bat shit crazy. Yet, he's still holding onto her, shushing her, telling her to calm down. He puts his two fingers underneath her chin, tilting it upwards so that she's forced to look at him, even through blurry tear ridden eyesight. He even brushes her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "You have to listen to me, Berry. You're better than this. You're Rachel freaking Berry for Christ sake, no guy in the world should make you feel like this—you hear me?"
She sniffles a little, her tears finally subsiding at his words while her face manages to still be scrunched up in what seems like a permanent frown. She knows that her nose is probably the size of her face but she's trying not to focus on that, instead trying to hear Finn out, hoping that maybe it will help somehow.
"Look, Berry… if anyone's gonna cheat on you then he's a real moron. Like, you're a triple threat—talented, cute, and…like, really cool and stuff so ultimately, it's his loss. You've gotta remember that. Whoever that guy is, he's not worth getting this upset over. He's stupid; I don't think there's anything in his brain, probably just air and like, hair product."
Rachel can't help but let out a laugh, a very brief one but a laugh nonetheless. Finn wipes up the remainder of her tears with his thumbs and she's finally starting to re-coop now. She notices the wet spot she left on his shirt and she suddenly goes into apologetic mode. "I'm really sorry, Finn. For your shirt and… well for everything. I didn't think this was going to happen and I haven't seen him for two months and—"
"It's fine Rachel. I can wash the shirt, it's no big deal."
Rachel smiles, leaning up on her toes in order to wrap her arms around Finn's neck to lock him up into a super tight hug. "Thank you."
"What are friends for, right?"
The subway ride to the school Finn is to teach at the end of August, Loyola, is anything but silent. She explains the whole Jesse situation to him, feeling it necessary at this point. Rachel had been extremely adamant on keeping that story from Finn but after she had put him through all of well, her wailing, she felt like the least she could do was at least give him an explanation. It proved to be perfectly fine too, Finn only really making comments on how moronic Jesse was, even going so far as to call him scum of the earth which Rachel appreciated, more than Finn realized.
"I'm really sorry that happened to you, Rachel. It sucks; you deserve worlds better than that garbage."
"It is what it is, I guess. Things happen."
"Yeah, but for the record—if he ever tries anything like what he pulled back there again, I'm gonna knock him out cold."
With a smile from the both of them, that was the end of the conversation and everything felt as it should.
After Rachel makes sure Finn knows his route to the school, asking him multiple times if he's positive he's got it through his head, even quizzing him, they head to the Empire State Building. Rachel firmly believes it's one of the most important parts of New York and no real New Yorker hasn't been to the Empire State Building. Rachel had gone with her mother, (well surrogate, if you want to get technical.) Shelby had been the person to really welcome Rachel to New York, they went to every tourist attraction they could—most importantly, Broadway. Rachel just wanted to make sure she was able to pass on all of her knowledge of tourist attractions that Shelby gave her and Finn was the perfect person for that. It was safe to say that Rachel's mindset regarding Finn had changed drastically to what it had previously been earlier in the day.
Finn and Rachel waited in what felt like the longest line ever (Rachel was just really impatient) but by the time they made it all the way up, it was worth it. Finn seemed happy, but then again, he seemed happy a good chunk of the time. Maybe content was the better word for it.
Rachel even inserted a few quarters into the sight-seeing machines that were placed on every corner of The Empire State Building. Usually, she was against putting her face near anything that other people had their faces pressed against, but when she propositioned the idea to Finn, he seemed rather excited about it so she let the little germ aspect slide.
It was nice seeing that Ohio innocence that Finn had get somewhat corrupted by the beauty of New York. She could see it in his eyes how differently he was seeing everything now, how bigger and better New York was compared to little old Lima, Ohio. Don't get Rachel wrong, Lima was an important part of her—without Lima, she wouldn't be where she was now. New York City was her home though and she felt that as time passed, it could become Finn's too. Or at least, she hoped considering that she was actually starting to like this whole friendship thing the two of them had going on.
The only real setback was that Rachel was feeling pretty spectacularly embarrassed about literally breaking down in front of Finn. She felt like an idiot, like it had dampened the mood of the day (even though it really hadn't, it actually probably helped them in terms of how their day panned out) and she wanted to make it up to him somehow. On their way back to their shared apartment in Bushwick, she made another proposition that she felt like he couldn't nor really would want to refuse.
"What's your stance on like—bars, Finn?" She asks him as they're getting off the subway.
"If there's alcohol, I'm there." He responds, that rather famous lopsided smile of his gracing his features.
"A bar typically has alcohol, so—there would be plenty of that."
"Cool."
Rachel looks at him, a little confused because she hasn't really finished her proposition and yet he seems all too eager to agree. "What? No plans?" She asks, raising her eyebrows in suspicion.
Finn shrugs, "if you haven't noticed, I don't really have friends here. I mean, Santana's great but usually when I do stuff with her and Brit, I always get subjected to sitting there while they make out and it got really boring after the first like, thirty times it happened."
Rachel chokes out an abrupt laugh but stops herself when she sees that Finn's actually very serious. "That was high school, Finn."
"Happened after high school too. At Christmas, and Thanksgiving and whenever they both came to visit. So like, every holiday imaginable."
"Okay, fair enough. What about Sam?"
"Sam's in Milan."
"I know but Blaine told me he's supposed to be back soon, beginning of August, I think." Rachel pointed out hopefully.
"Yeah… I don't know; guess I've just feeling a little… kept to myself lately." Finn shrugged but there wasn't that usual boyish nature to it—it was somewhat duller. Rachel was suddenly struck with the realization of what Kurt had been telling her earlier. This was all brand new territory for him and it wasn't like Noah Puckerman was around New York to be all bro's with quarterback Finn Hudson. It just made Rachel realize how significant this new founded friendship with Finn was. He only had a handful of people in this city and Rachel wanted to make sure that she was one of them for the long run.
"Look—I want to make it up to you. I know this day wasn't exactly ideal." Rachel started, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. Finn begins to protest but she stops him before he can get any further. "I was thinking we could go to this place called Bootlegs, it's just a little ten minute subway ride and there's a jukebox and karaoke and—well basically it's my favorite bar in the whole world. The whole crew usually loves coming with me along with like a good chunk of NYADA's student body. There's this event they're doing too—wear something red to support the NYADA film club production of The Red Balloon—you get like three free drinks if you do. I figured it could be fun, if it interests you."
Finn smiles, nodding pretty enthusiastically. "Seems fun." He puts simply.
"Then it's settled. This Thursday night, sound good?"
"Yeah, works for me."
And thus marked the blueprints for a rather interesting night.
Thursday night rolled around rather quickly—between nannying two rambunctious little girls and her ballet class, Rachel didn't really have time to even take a breath. She knew that she was wearing herself thin; everyone continued to remind her of that—Kurt even had given Shelby and her dads a call to try to convince Rachel that maybe taking more than one day off a week would benefit her. She told Shelby and her two fathers the same thing she told Kurt—she was fine, all of the work she was doing was helping her, she felt more motivated than ever. It also didn't hurt when she told them that she was planning on going to Bootlegs with Finn, Santana, Brit and Blaine. (Kurt and Mercedes had prior engagements—Kurt had a huge photo-shoot over at Vogue, meaning he was designing over twenty-five outfits for his models and Mercedes promised her producer she would sit down with him and talk about album booklets.)
Although Rachel had been busy with her jam packed schedule, the newly found friendship with Finn was proving to be very beneficial and the aura of their living arrangements had changed for the better. Rachel actually noticed him this time around and being friends actually helped them live in a very functional way. She'd often wake up some mornings to breakfast made by Finn, and they'd quickly discuss plans for the day which usually involved Rachel talking away for a few minutes since Finn usually opted to stay in the apartment. Some days he'd surprise her though, telling her that he'd gone exploring around the city and that the Statue of Liberty in fact was just a ferry ride away. Rachel was feeling so much better about Finn too, she didn't have any insecurities regarding the Jesse situation (the cat was let out of the bag at that point) and he was, for lack of a better word, fun to be around.
Their mornings usually were always intertwined—since Finn claimed he was an early riser. Often, she'd be brushing her teeth while he was in the shower or he'd be watching Friday Night Lights late at night and she'd join him just for kicks. They talked quite a lot as well, Finn often found himself bored during the day and would text Rachel the most random things that branched off into thorough conversations. She still did her job though; Finn was merely a second thought to her daily routine. In fact, she figured that one could probably say he was slowly becoming a part of her daily regime.
She was just glad that Kurt had opened her eyes for her because things had been working out rather perfectly.
Thursday night, she had successfully put Magnolia and Scout to bed by nine and Jillian (their mother) came home a little afterwards, praising Rachel as always before relieving her of her duties. From there, she went straight to Blaine and Kurt's (she had dropped off her bag of clothes and makeup to prepare her for tonight, figuring that she would just get ready over there.)
When she was buzzed up, she quickly greeted her four friends that had already started pre-gaming, taking note of Finn who looked positively in his happiest place around people he genuinely enjoyed spending time with. She let herself smile a little, explaining to her friends that she just needed to go get dressed quickly and then they were all set to head out. She grabbed herself a glass of wine and excused herself to the bathroom just a second later.
Since Rachel refused to pay for drinks that she could've easily gotten for free, she slipped on her favorite red silk sleeveless dress that didn't accentuate her lack of breasts which was always a win in her opinion. She pairs it with a silver pump, brushes a comb through her hair and decides that's good enough for her.
She sips at her wine respectively while walking back to her group of friends, approaching Finn first. "You look nice." She simply states, brushing imaginary dust off his shoulder. He's wearing a deep red polo and Rachel's just happy that he actually remembered the piece of information she had given him. "Maybe you'll even meet a girl." She gasps, in faux shock at the idea.
Finn lets out a small laugh, his eyes crinkling as he looks down at her. "Ha-ha, very funny, Berry."
Rachel shrugs and nudges his shoulder playfully. "Seriously though, Finn—this could possibly be a great opportunity for you. If anything, a one night stand could be in order."
Finn gives her a non-committal shrug and looks down at his feet. "Yeah, we'll see. Just—why don't we get there first and then let everything play out. I don't wanna force it."
Rachel nods in understanding, downing the rest of her glass. "Well let's get to it then." She announces excitedly, giving his butt a tap before gathering the troops to head out.
They get to Bootlegs rather quickly and with little to no effort. The subway ride is crowded but it's also a Thursday night so it's to be expected. Thursday's were deemed 'thirsty Thursday's' to all NYADA students… but to most college kids in general. The 4 and 5 express is quiet but once they transition to the J Train, that's when she can feel the environment getting a little bit more hectic.
Bootlegs lets them all in, handing them three red tickets to match with their red outfits. Well, everyone except Brittany who had refused, claiming that red was a satanic color in which she wanted nothing to do with. Rachel didn't question her on it.
"Make sure no one lets Brit go near that." Says Blaine, gesturing over to the keg placed near the jukebox. "We all remember what happened last time."
It had something to do with Brittany going absolutely crazy, doing a handstand on the keg and then proceeding to fight every person who went within a mile radius of Santana—so mostly everyone in the bar. It took Rachel a lot of convincing in order to stop them all from getting banned from the place.
"I can control my wonderful girlfriend, thank you very much hair-gel queen." Santana harshly said, glaring at the boy.
Rachel watches Blaine's look of astonishment as he instinctively reaches a hand up towards his hair before thinking better of it and returning it to his side.
"Brittany, no keg-stands and no fighting. Now, children—can we please get those free drinks before I go absolutely crazy." Rachel says sternly, eyeing the bar in longing.
"Sounds good." Finn smiles, putting his arm around Rachel and leading her over to the bar, the three other friends directly in tow.
They all order a round—taking a shot straight. Rachel's not sure how she does it but she figures she's built up a rather impressive tolerance the last few months. If this was Rachel back in say—January, she probably wouldn't even be thinking of the prospect of alcohol.
While they let the shot settle, Rachel orders herself a Cosmo and takes a seat at the bar next to Finn, the two of them watching Brit and Santana dance around Blaine to some top ten pop song that's blaring through the speakers of the bar. She's sitting there quietly, laughing to herself and looking at Finn in decimals to make sure there's still that lopsided grin gracing his features. "We should go dance with them, Finny." She suggests, gesturing over to the three goofballs.
"I don't think they're prepared for my kind of dancing." He responds, rolling his eyes in a very non-aggressive way that makes Rachel push it a little more.
"Santana told me that you lack the ability to dance normally. I think she compared you to a zombie who looked like he needed to poop pretty bad." They both chuckle simultaneously and when it subsides, Rachel hops off the chair and pulls Finn off his. "All the more reason to do it."
They all dance for a good chunk of time, Rachel's pretty sure that she's listened to three of the same sugary pop tunes but then again, she's pretty buzzed from all of the pre-gaming and the shot and the Cosmo, so she might be making things up in her brain at this point. Plus, Finn's picked her up like a ragdoll like ten times since they started dancing just to spin her around and prove that he's apparently a great dancer. It causes her head to feel a little more fuzzier than usual.
Usually, at times like this, she relies on her friends to keep her in check so when there's multiple people around her encouraging her to start off Bootlegs weekly famous karaoke night, she agrees because if it was a bad idea for her to go up there—Blaine or Santana would've stopped her. Instead, they're both right there along with everyone else, slightly nudging her up to the stage.
She stops them, laughing lightheartedly before saying her peace to them all. "Okay, okay. I'll sing, you don't have to tell me twice. On one condition though." She smiles wide, fully aware that when she does her nose fills up like half of her face, but she's too buzzed and too happy and content to really care about what others are thinking of her. She tugs on Finn's red polo, nodding over to the stage in order for him to get the gist.
"No way, Berry. You're nuts."
"Come on, Finn! Please! We can't let them down."
"No, no. You can't let them down." He protests. "I have nothing to do with this."
"It'll be fun! I'll even let you pick the song, please, please, please." She begs, looking up at him with the best puppy dog eyes she could manage. She knows he gives in when she physically sees him let out a breath of air and then she's jumping up and down in excitement at the prospect of Finn singing with her.
Rachel grabs Finn's hand, pulling him up the stage. They stumble a bit but once they're up there, Rachel see's Finn swallow visibly, feeling a little guilty for forcing him to do this with her. What was he gonna do, say no and then have everyone boo him—no, he really didn't have a say in this. In order to calm him, she gives him a friendly pat on his shoulder, rubbing the spot there gently as she leans in to speak to him. "Pick any song you want and just have fun, Finn. It's harmless and you're great." She smiles and he manages to smile back at her, making her feel a little better about it.
"Do you guys have, uh—Stop Draggin' My Heart Along?" Asks Finn, his eyebrows raised in anticipation.
"No problem man, Stevie Nicks is a regular here."
Finn's eyes open wide in shock at the stranger's words and he looks over at Rachel for confirmation. "He means song wise—people always ask for Fleetwood Mac songs at karaoke night. I've heard The Chain sung like seven times in one night."
"Oh." Finn pauses, his face one of concern. "Should I ask for something else?" He asks her.
"No, no. Of course not. It's Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty. Who doesn't love that combo?" She reassures him, giving his shoulder one last pat before making her way to her microphone. She makes sure Finn looks only mildly like he's gonna vomit before nodding over to the DJ and gesturing for him to begin.
The first few notes begin to play, layered with percussion before the iconic guitar starts coming into play and Rachel can't help but sway to the music, looking at Finn here and there to send him comforting glances. Rachel takes a deep breath and exhaling, slowly sings the first few lines, trying her best to not come off too strong.
Baby, you'll come knocking on my front door
Same old line you used to use before
I said ya, well
What am I supposed to do
I didn't know what I was getting into
The rhythm changes slightly and she looks over at Finn who's just staring at her and she tries her best to send him encouraging glances as he joins in, his eyes shutting slightly as he sings the next part of the song along with her.
So you've had a little trouble in town
Now you're keeping some demons down
Stop draggin' my—Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my heart around
Rachel tries her best to keep her composure as she listens to Finn layer his voice with her own because for some reason, she wasn't expecting Finn to really keep up with her let alone even sound as good as he does. She figured he'd be decent, sub-par at most but he's good. Like—really, really good and she can't stop the widening of her eyes as she looks out into the crowd in order to catch her friends' glances. They're all watching Finn with the same kind of facial expressions that she was displaying and once she realizes that she's not hallucinating, that she's not the only one who can tell that Finn is honestly really amazing, she lets herself look back up at him, meeting his gaze with her own. He smiles at her and she gives him one back, one that she hopes is sending the holy-crap-who-knew-you-could-sing kind of message.
There's an instrumental pause and Rachel takes the microphone out of the stand in order to walk over to Finn in one fluid motion, placing her hand on his shoulder as she sang the following lines to him.
It's hard to think about what you've wanted
It's hard to think about what you've lost
This doesn't have to be the big get even
This doesn't have to be anything at all
Rachel watches Finn take a deep breath, taking a note from her and detaching his microphone from his stand to face her. He sings the next two lines in a way that Rachel can't even put her finger on. He approaches it tentatively, and yet there's not tremor to his voice, it's smooth and rhythmic and Rachel gets a little lost in it.
I know you really want to tell me goodbye
I know you really want to be your own girl
The crowd starts cheering, and Rachel's voice comes in again, singing the chorus with him for the second time. She can tell that the claps and whistles and the overall applause that the two of them are getting boosts Finn's confidence because he's got a kick in his step that hadn't been there before. They both sing to each other, Rachel's vocals layered with Finn's sounding like velvet on water—or whatever, she can't even really think coherently. It was vocally pleasing in every way imaginable and Rachel couldn't help but really get into it, letting Finn grasp on to her hips as they sang away. It was like, every person in the building could physically feel the emotion of the words coming out of it and yet, there really wasn't any deep meaningful tones layered behind the words—at least not for Rachel. But it worked; nonetheless they just simply fell into it naturally.
Baby, you could never look me in the eye
Yeah, you buckle with the weight of the words
Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my
Stop draggin' my heart around
Stop draggin' my heart around
Finn twirls her as gracefully as he can manage, dipping her down and then gently bringing her back up, as they let the last line of the song drawl out. Her feet even leave the floor as Finn holds her up so that she's eye level with him. When they're finished, the crowd of people let out the applause that they'd been holding in throughout the whole song and Finn places her gently back down to the floor. Rachel and Finn are laughing, her hands placed on his shoulders as she leans into him. Rachel's eyes still manage to be a little fixated in shock at the discovery of Finn being incredibly talented but she tears them away, looking at the crowd before nudging Finn to bow. He gives them all a curt bow, a huge smile on his face before gesturing towards Rachel, who nods as to not take the spotlight away from him (although, Stop Draggin' My Heart Around was a song that revolved around mostly Stevie Nicks vocals rather than Tom Petty's and Rachel did sing the majority of the time but she decides to ignore that for now.)
They get applauded right off the stage and once their feet aren't on elevated ground, she and Finn get bombarded by their friends—well, mostly Finn.
"Tubbs, when did you start, I don't know—being good at something?" Santana asks in the most sincere way she can.
"Well, uh—"
"I mean, who knew you could sing let alone pull off a Tom Petty solo." Blaine cuts in, interrupting Finn's attempt at being modest.
"You guys reminded me of a mother goose and her ugly duckling." Brittany chimes in, stunning and sending them all into a state of confusion for a second.
"Well, I thought it was great. Finn and I sound perfect together and you know what they say about friends who sing together."
They all look at Rachel, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "Well, they must say something because we did sound amazing." She finishes, nudging Finn gently.
"It was like, really good, wasn't it?" Finn states confidently, holding his head up a little higher.
"Yes! Which makes this the perfect opportunity for another round of shots!" Yells Brittany, pulling Santana to the bar with her as the rest of them follow in tow behind the pair.
They all quickly do another round and eventually, the aftermath of the performance dies down a tad. Rachel takes this somewhat less chaotic time as an opportunity to approach Finn, opening up with another redundant compliment about how good he was.
"I guess, I don't know. I don't do much singing myself but I'm teaching show choir at Loyola so you know, it probably helps that I'm kinda good at it, right?"
"God, yeah it helps immensely. I mean, Kurt and I never stop going on and on about how Mr. Shuester tainted Glee club with his rapping but the guy was talented on all levels. I think you'll do a good job." She says in a very reassuring tone, although she's not even sure he really needs any reassurance from her.
"I always wanted to join Glee club, y'know?" Finn turns his head over to look at Rachel who's giving him another surprised look, like—really? Finn and show choir? Huh, who would've thought?
"So, what stopped you?"
"Well, I never really thought I was good, so there's that." He puts simply, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "Plus, I had football, it was my thing and I didn't want to like… disrupt the social latter. It was stupid but being popular mattered to me, I was a shallow seventeen year old." He joked but Rachel doesn't laugh, not really. She feels a little bad for him, actually. He missed out on one of the most fun things in her high school career because he was too wrapped up in his popularity. His confession didn't really shock her though, actually—she pretty much knew that already. She had gotten slushied by Finn on more than one occasion after all.
"Look at it this way," she starts, tilting her head upwards so that she can make eye-contact with him. "Now you're getting another shot at it."
"How so?"
"Well, you're teaching it this time around. So, yeah—maybe you missed your opportunity to be a kid in a show choir but now you can encourage other kids not to make the same mistake you did. It's a good opportunity for you, Finn. It'll be great and you can teach them a lot of important shit." She finished, her voice laced with as much encouragement as she could muster.
"People don't give you enough credit, Berry." He says, a light laugh leaving his parted lips. She looks at him in confusion; eyebrows raised beckoning him to enlighten her. "You're good at making people feel like—special or something, even like accomplished, I would say."
Rachel smiles up at him, "what can I say, I'm just really good at this whole friend thing." They both laugh and it subsides shortly after, leaving Rachel in this very content place—feeling almost indestructible, like nothing could possibly ever go wrong in her life ever again. She's got great people around her, supporting and loving friends who care about her.
It triggers something in her, makes her want to give back to these friends of hers in some way. She suddenly goes back to the conversation she and Finn had a little while ago, about whether or not he might meet a girl tonight. Suddenly, she feels responsible. She wants him to go out and meet new people and expand his horizons. After all, he's in New York City for god's sake! This isn't Lima Ohio, this was a city for opportunity and Rachel would be damned if she didn't try to make New York as much of a home to Finn as it was to Rachel.
Looking back up at Finn, she eyes him up and down carefully as he looks at her in confusion. "I have a proposition," she starts, rubbing her hands together as a plan concocts in her mind. "How do you feel about having your own wing woman?"
a/n: so a lot of things happened in this chapter! i want to make it clear that this is not the last of jesse st. james, oh no, no this is just the beginning my friends! also—I didn't want to end this chapter here but unfortunately i kind of had to cut it short because otherwise it was going to get really long so expect a continuation for next time where we get to see a continuation of the night!