The words blurred together as Kate's rubbed her eyelids. She had been staring at this screen for hours. Four days had passed since she walked out of the loft, leaving behind the only man that had ever mattered. A look at her watch indicated midnight. The precinct was a dead zone. Only a few cops who worked the night shift could be heard milling around. This had been her routine for almost a week. Once her Captain duties were done for the day, Kate immediately started her investigation and spent all night combing through files and databases to find more information about Castle's kidnapping. She eyed her couch, thinking that a nap might be a good idea. She hadn't slept since she started this research, using coffee to get her through the days. But even that was worthless. Without Castle, the dark substance that once conveyed love, only reminded her of the chasm she had brought to her marriage. So she wouldn't sleep. Her eyes wouldn't close until she was lying next to the man she loved, the soft mattress of their bed beneath her while his warm body surrounded her. Until then, she would be here.

"Yo, Beckett," Kate blinked as Esposito opened the door; his voice brought her back into focus. Right after she walked out of the loft that day, she had called Esposito to meet her at a diner downtown. At that point, she told him everything. She knew she needed help and he had some of the knowledge that might allow her get closer to the case. Kate smiled as she thought about what a great friend Esposito was to both of them. She didn't think he had slept since she told him either, spending every evening at the precinct investigating. If he wasn't at the precinct, he was trying to find out if any of his friends from his days in Special Forces knew anything about the abduction. Since they had a name of the project this time, at least leads seemed to be coming faster than they did during Castle's initial disappearance.

"I think I found the file with the word to activate his assassin training," Esposito brought the stack over to Kate, "Unfortunately, it appears to be blacked out as well. I think I could maybe deduce what it says by the words around it. But I wanted to let you know about the lead."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief. This might actually be over soon and then she could get home to her husband. "Thank you, Esposito. What are the chances that you can figure out what it says?"

"Pretty good, Beckett," Esposito assured her, his voice softening in a way that showed he understood what was at stake, "I'll do my best to find it tonight. I'm pretty sure that the tech lab has equipment that can help me find this."

With that she watched him walk out of the office, hope surrounding her for the first time in 96 hours.

…

Three hours later, a knock at her office door lifted her spirits as she waited to hear what Esposito had found. Instead, the door opened and a worn out looking man walked in…a different demeanor from the hopeful husband who had given her a cupcake less than a week before.

"Castle," Beckett said; her fear of his secret overshadowed by her relief of being in the same room with him again.

"Beckett, I couldn't stay away any longer." Castle's moved toward her, his hand settling over her shoulder. "I gave you space for four days, but now we have to talk. I know that you are chasing a case. Nothing else makes sense. Just, let me help you. Let me be your partner."

"You can't…not this time." Beckett shook her head, a tear falling from her face as she leaned into his hand. "Castle, you have to trust me to do this on my own."

"Beckett, I love you. I need you." She felt Castle's hand pulling her up from her chair and wrapping his arm around her waist, surprised that she felt her holster on her hip. Had she forgotten to remove her gun at the end of the evening? She must be losing it. She would put her gun in her drawer once Castle left. His voice penetrated her ear, "I need to feel you."

Kate felt Castle's lips descending upon her own, as she was powerless to stop it. If she was completely honest with herself, she didn't want to stop it. Four days and they hadn't found anything. It wouldn't hurt to have a time out with her husband. She wasn't in danger at this moment and she needed him as much as he needed her. She moved her hands through Castle's hair and pulled him closer, her tongue scraping the top of his mouth. This felt good and right and everything in between. Castle moved her to the nearest wall and she briefly thought about locking her office door. Esposito didn't need to be privy to what they were doing in here. But she was too far gone to do anything about it now. This man was all she needed and wanted. "I'm so sorry, Castle. Please know that I've never stopped wanting you."

Castle pulled back, his face twisting into a look of dismay and hurt. Kate's heart broke all over again when she saw his shoulders slump. But she wouldn't let him stay in this place for long. She pulled his head back to her and moved her lips over his mouth. She wanted him more than she wanted anything. Just as she was reaching for the buttons of his shirt, she heard the door of her office open. Her eyes widened when she heard Esposito say,

"Beckett, the activation word is žena!"

She didn't have a chance to stop it. In a manner of seconds, she found herself staring down the barrel of her own gun…Castle's blank expression meeting hers as his fingers pulled the trigger.