Chapter 2 Soldier
Afraid of what they might lose
Might get scraped or they might get bruised.
You could beg them, what's the use?
That's why it's called a moment of truth
"You seriously proposed to Krirsten?!", Barney asked Ted over the phone
"Marriage is stupid, Ted. Don't get married until you are 30, because settling down is for losers"
-But I am over 30!
"Did I ever tell the story of how we, Robin and me, met Krirsten."
- No, you didn't. Probably one of your legendary nights, when you used to write the playbook?! Was it the night you wanted to have a devil's threeway with a goat and one of your bimbos?!
"It was the 19th century. An across the pub, was sitting a blonde, crazy mistress. And she sure don't want to miss it. Twas the night before New Year's
And the weather grew mean. Twas there in the morning, and I was stranded in Queens. Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack. Neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack"
-Barney, that just a recreated version of the sexless innkeeper.
"Do you tell me that i'm not orginal?!"
-Basically. Yes.
"No way! Friendship over!"
-Bro, seriously?
" I said. Friendship over!"
"Virginia! What a son have you raised?"
-What are you saying my dear?!
"By the way, did you already sign the divorce papers?"
-We first have to talk with Ted…
"OH NO Virginia. We want the wedding couple to stay at cloud 7. Which mother would miss her son's wedding?!"
-WHAT? Ted is engaged?!
Barney had just experienced real life without long legendary nights and thought of the old the old good times without commitment and lame step-sons, who don't wear suits.
He started ordering a scotch and heard a familiar voice coming across towards his table.
-Hey Swarles.
"Scherbatsky ,where is your suit? You should really read my blog."
- I haven't heard anything from Ted, is he still dating that one bimbo from last week?
"No,no. He took the big move. He's engaged.
- Ted's proposal is as serious as the Canadian hockey team in the winter. Who's the lucky
girl Teddy wants to marry?
"His name is micheal. Just kidding, its Krirsten"
-Krirsten?! Krirsten, like our long-term arch enemy?! What happened to her fiancé?
"Ted said something like destiny and the universe, the love of his life and all that
crap, then I decided not to listen anymore."
- Why are you sitting here all alone?
"Life...legendary."
- Barnacle, again one of your challenges? I told you to stop having a goat in your garden.
"But the ladies love the goat…"
-The same goat you made out with in the devil's threeway last summer….?
"This challenge was your idea, Sparkles."
-We are an awesome team, aren't we?!
"Yeah we are."
-But ehm...wanna play battleship tonight?
"Sure. Your place?
-You know my new music video, Sparkles volume 5?
30 minutes later
"Should I put it in?"
-The music video or little Barney?
He winked towards Robin.
"Your choice, Scherbatsky. Remember the last time..."
I know you don't believe it,
But I said it and I still mean it,
When you heard what I told you,
When you get worried I'll be your soldier.