The tablet broke her serious posture and grinned. "I have a voice," she declared. Then she gasped. "I have a British accent. I've always thought to myself, if ever I was to have a voice, I would want one with a British accent, and now I've got one! It must be all that time at Cambridge. That's how you got yours, right Ahkmenrah?"
"How could this have happened?" Merenkahre muttered before Ahkmenrah could answer.
"I'm not sure," Larry admitted, though he wanted to say something more like It's your tablet, you should know.
The tablet frowned at Larry. "Well, don't look so shocked, night guard," she chided. "You knew something was wrong. You just didn't know it was this wrong."
"Wait a second," Larry interrupted. "How did you know I knew something?"
The tablet rolled her eyes, as though she was severely disappointed. "And they say there aren't stupid questions… I've always had a consciousness, night guard. I saw you lurking around. I confess, I did help those dear little magicians out just a bit. They couldn't have reached back to pick a form for me, so I did, and I chose this one. I have an idea of what I look like, but I'm not entirely sure. Does anyone have a mirror?"
Larry glanced at Ahkmenrah, who still looked ready to pass out. "Ahk, what's going on?"
Ahkmenrah's mouth was opened like he wanted desperately to say something, but couldn't. He merely shrugged and shook his head.
The tablet huffed and place her hands on her hips. "Well, if nobody's going to offer me a mirror, I'll go find one." And with that, she marched off.
Naturally, they couldn't leave her alone, not for one instant. So they all followed her until she found the mirror in the ladies' restroom.
"Oh, I see what I've done!" she exclaimed. "How terribly clever of me! I look an awful lot like that one particular slave. The one that always hung around where she wasn't wanted? What was her name, Ahkmenrah?"
Ahkmenrah spoke for the first time. "M—Miriam," he managed to choke out.
The tablet clapped her hands together. "Miriam! That's right. I've dressed her up quite royally," she observed, admiring her golden apparel. "In any case, my name must match my face. You must all call me Miriam."
Ahkmenrah felt a surge of resentment go up his spine. How terrible it would be to look inside "Miriam's" mind to see what possessed her to say such awful things. No one else would've understood it, but his tablet did. He knew she did by her smirk. If his tablet knew anything about him at all, she knew that what she was saying was horribly cruel and insensitive.
Larry was the first to recover from disbelief. "Well, Miriam," he began cautiously. "Welcome back to the museum, and make yourself at home."
Miriam's smug expression fell. "How disappointing," she murmured.
Larry furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"
Sighing in resignation, Miriam answered. "Well, you were going to find out eventually so I might as well tell you now." There was a glimmer of amusement in her eyes as she announced, "I was really hoping for more drama. I absolutely thrive on tension. Ra knows how long it's been since I've seen an episode of the Kardashians. You never bring the television around anymore, Ahkmenrah. Shame on you."
"You cannot leave her alone, Larry Daley," Merenkahre insisted. "She is a powerful being with a self-proclaimed desire for chaos. We must keep a watchful eye on her."
Miriam looked on with anticipation. "Oh, no, your most royal highness," she begged sarcastically. "Please don't suggest such a thing as a guard. I assure you, you're blowing this way out of proportion."
As much as Larry hated to agree with Merenkahre, he had to admit that he had a point. On the other hand, she obviously wanted someone to watch over her. That could be a part of some chaotic plan. The whole situation was so bizarre that Larry wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. "Is that what you want, Miriam?" Larry questioned. "You want someone to babysit you?"
Miriam grinned. "You're getting the hang of it, night guard," she announced as though she could read his mind. Come to think of it, Larry wasn't entirely sure she couldn't. Miriam raised her hand. "If we're taking a vote, I vote that Ahkmenrah take the first shift."
Panic chilled every inch of Ahkmenrah. He did not want to be left alone with this sociopath. In fact, he was starting to consider it a miracle that he had put with her even when she was an inanimate object.
Larry noticed the terror in Ahkmenrah's eyes and shook his head. He couldn't accommodate Miriam in every aspect. Her demands were specific, for one reason or another. Larry preferred not to find out why. However, he could not begrudge her a guard. "Sorry, Ahkmenrah's a bit busy right now."
Miriam raised her eyebrows. She wasn't convinced.
"Horrendously busy," Ahkmenrah agreed. "I hardly have time to sort things out right now."
"Yeah, exactly," Larry continued. "But Jed and Oct will be more than happy to keep an eye on you. Won't you guys?"
"You can count on us, Gigantor!" Jed promised.
Miriam stared down at the two miniatures with minor disgust. "Lovely," she mumbled, while everyone left save the dynamic duo. "I'm stuck with Hercules and Hillbilly Joe."
Octavius glared up at Miriam. "You of all people know that I am no Hercules."
Jedidiah nodded in agreement. "Yeah! And I ain't no hillbilly!"
Miriam knelt down next to the two. "Perhaps not," she allowed. "However, the undeniable fact is that you're tiny and annoying."
"That just ain't nice," Jedidiah accused, sounding more than a little hurt. "We can't help it that we're small."
Miriam glanced upward in thought. "No, I don't suppose you could." She smirked. "But I could."
Taken aback, Octavius repeated, "You could make us taller?"
Miriam nodded reflectively. "Yes. It would be incredibly simple. In fact, I could've done it years ago."
Jed crossed his arms. "Then why didn't you, for cryin' out loud?" he exclaimed.
Miriam shrugged and stood up. "Because I like you small. It's hilarious, really. Not to mention, it makes it so much easier to run away."
Before either miniature could respond, Miriam had bolted toward the exit and outside the museum.