Lamentations for the Devil
(Ella can't resist...)

At this late hour the homicide department was deserted. All apart from one desk. Detective Daniel Espinoza was following up on a lead.

It wasn't anything to do with a case. Well, not a homicide one anyway. Earlier, Dan had stumbled across a video of a flash mob galloping without horses. A flash mob that appeared to contain a certain Lucifer Morningstar, self-proclaimed Devil and Dan's ex's partner. In between working a case, Dan had found time to email the Youtube channel responsible for the compilation, leaning heavily on his LAPD credentials as he asked about the video's origins.

They'd replied just as he was about to clock off for the night, and he'd been combing through the original uploader's videos ever since. There werea lot of them, and they all seemed to star an awkwardly tall woman apparently called Kong. It was a goldmine of pratfalls, slapstick and embarrassing situations. Under normal circumstances Dan would've loved it, but he was too intent to properly appreciate its comedic value.

"Whatcha doing" a voice asked from behind him and Dan shrieked, his mouse skittering across the sticky screen as he jumped.

He comforted himself later with the thought that at least it was a manly shriek. It wasn't.

"Sorry, man," Ella apologised, "I didn't mean… Wait, is that… Lucifer?"

It was.

Somehow Dan's skittering mouse had selected a video of Kong, Lucifer, and a small blond woman being chased by a gaggle of geese. Dan and Ella stared at the screen, jaws dropped, for long moments before the absurdity of Lucifer (their Lucifer!) running from geese caught up with them and they both burst out laughing. Ice officially broken, Dan dragged a chair over for the forensic scientist as he quickly explained what he's found.

"You mean there's more?" asked Ella, wiping her eyes.

"Oh, yes!" gleefully, Dan pulled up the video that had started it all.

He kept talking as the video played, pointing out Lucifer in the back and Kong in the front. Then he had to explain Kong, and it wasn't until he glanced at Ella that he realised she was crying.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, hitting pause.

"Yeah," Ella croaked. "It's just," she sniffed and shot him a rueful look. "You'll think I'm crazy but sometimes, I kinda like thinking that Lucifer's actually the devil."

She blushed as Dan started at her like she'd just grown a second head. "He's so good at it!" she defended. "And if he's really Satan, then that means that God exists and we work with the Devil to take down bad guys, and that my friend, makes us badass."

"True," conceded Dan, sharing a grin with her.

"But if he's not…" Ella continued, "Then what the hell happened to turn him from that guy," she gestured at the screen, frozen on Lucifer's face, "Into a dude methoding the devil?"

Dan looked at the image. Really looked, for the first time. When he did, he got it. He saw what Ella was seeing.

"It doesn't even look like him," Ella echoed Dan's thoughts. "I mean, it looks like him – tall, dark, fuck-me-now gorgeous."

Maybe not all Dan's thoughts…

"But it's not really him," Ella sighed. "You know?"

Dan did. "Maybe it was the geese?" he suggested in an attempt to lighten the mood.

They both chuckled. Stared at the screen. Ella sighed. Dan began to fidget uncomfortably.

"I never could resist a tragic backstory," announced Ella. "What else you got?"

Not much," admitted Dan. "Just the videos."

"We can do better than that," Ella told him, cracking her knuckles. "Move over and let the Maestro work."

So Dan did.