A/N: Back... although it's several months later... bah, anyways. Sorry for the long wait, after I finished Chapter One, I kinda liked it as a one-chapter bit. But then I got an idea... a wonderful awful idea... and yeah, so I'm back. That's all. Oh, and I'm listening to Jamiroquai so this'll be less twisted and kinda mellow. There's an odd plot twisty thing, and otherwise the chapter's pretty short.
Ocean
Ch2
Forgiveness is such a stupid idea. There's no such thing as forgiveness, really, Ralph mused, his closed eyes sharpening the pungent smells of damp wood, cloth, and boy. There's no such thing as feelings, in the most primal existence there is. The one I was a part of... just a few nights ago... so close to death. Nothing's changed. Nothing at all.
His eyes fluttered open, and the darkness was thinned by the light streaming in from the porthole in the wall over the empty bed. Memories of the ship returned, slowly, like the vague recollection of a haunting dream. Every morning he awoke to a new world, every morning he could not remember, or adjust to.
He sat up, staring blank and palefaced into the monstrous shimmering moon that hung suspended and crystalline among the wavelike clouds overhead. Something was wrong. It smelled... it smelled like Jack, like fear, like sweat and like the island. A shiver passed through him. Alone in the darkened cabin began to echo in his mind. Alone in the dark. Alone and vulnerable. Alone with Jack.
And the bed, empty felt empty, the close contact of Jack's curled back against his side feeling cold and insubstantial..
Fear had fled. Irrational terror tremorred his senses for a moment, a long thin, wavering drawn-out moment that froze him upright amid the tangled bedsheets with his eyes slowly falling shut again and his muscles going limp and weak.
Still alone.
No one hunting you.
It isn't that, no, it's not, Ralph. Die or no, it's the same fate. You're not afraid of anything like that, of death or harm or anything that specific. You're scared of the dark. You're scared of hunters in the night. And of being afraid like this for the rest of your life.
Curled in a fetal position into the crook of Ralph's arm, Jack breathed slowly. The feel of their skin touching made Ralph tense at every realization. There was something so twisted and perverse about the island they had left that this... this regression into whimpering children, seemed so strange but normal. Normal. That was something Ralph could dream about. Nothing was normal anymore. It was vile to pretend.
He wanted the island back. Sighing, he gazed out the porthole over the rolling plains of blue and saw the grey outline miles away. Lost forever, no one would ever believe them truly. It was a nauseating inhuman place, and they were natives of it.
There was no leaving it, no going back. Ralph shifted, screwing shut his eyes to stop the tears, then stopped and sighed as they didn't come.
The most primal of beings felt no emotion. There was no anger, no hatred, no vengence or forgiveness. There was only fear, and it was to keep you alive. He couldn't survive in the real world like this.
"Ralph?"
The sudden voice shot out in the airy darkness and the tension of the silence broke with an instantaneous spasm. Jack cringed, then smiled, his half-open eyes seeking out the other wiry boy. Their bodies had been so worn away, he thought.
"Morning."
"Is it even morning? It's too... white, I dunno, the sun's not up yet."
They paused and Jack rubbed his eyes. Conscious of their presence, Ralph's arms drew shyly away from Jack and he could see his skin contract at the sudden cold.
"Don't do that," Jack whispered. Ralph shrugged. The arms hung motionless for a second before tentatively returning.
Warmth was an empty comfort.
"You sleep o..." Ralph's moth was half opened in the meek effort of pointless chatter, but his words trailed off as he glanced up and saw the island. On fire.
"Wacco," Jack gasped, and before Ralph could do anything, he had scrambled up onto his knees and was grinning wildly at the grey outline ablaze with red. Ralph rushed up beside him, clasping at the window ledge and breathing hard. Panic grinded at his senses- the island was burning? Again? There was no return, no return at all then.
"We..." he breathed, "we can't go back, we can never go back..." he vision went a bit cloudy and he fell back.
"What's that?" Jack's clear voice.
"The island."
There was a long pause. Ralph's eyes were closed now and he could feel solid gravity pulling him against the thickness of the mattress, his heartbeat slowing, unhindered.
"Ralph."
It was all over.
"Ralph, it's just the sunrise. The island's not even in that direction, it's further East. That's just an uninhabitted place, Ralph, not our island. We left ours long ago. It's gone."
Deny your words, Jack. I can't listen to you. You're making sense now. Just last night you were a wreck, couldn't think, couldn't move, like I was nights ago, and now you're back? Now you're better? Rational? Like I was at the rescue? Damn you then, I'm right back, you see, where I started. And you're just a step behind.
This is a viscious cycle, only death could end it. Only my own death.
Jack's palm rested with sudden tangibility on Ralph's back, a locationless point in empty void of sensation in his swimming head. They'll bring breakfast down soon. Jack can't eat upstairs, he has to be confined. I can leave though... I don't deserve to though... so many contradictions.
"Go back to sleep."
Whether it was Jack's cautious voice or Ralph's own clockwork mind, he obeyed, and the stinging of waking perceptions dulled almost instantly.
***
"It just kinda seems like we should... talk about it."
"Yeah... didn't we do that last night?"
"I dunno. I don't care."
"It was pretty wizard though, when we first got on the island..."
"Don't say that."
"Why not?"
"Cause."
"Cause it went wrong, right. But... I dunno, it could have gone so right. It just didn't. And then..."
"Don't say that either."
"You said we should talk."
"Yeah. I know."
"..."
"There's tons I don't really wanna hear anymore."
"Me neither. I just..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"I..."
"What?"
"I dunno."
...
"Me neither."
***
They had been lying there for a long time, their eyes glazed over in blind absolution. Their minds skirted soundlessly the civilization they were headed for, the pain, the rejection, or the failure. Perhaps there would be no resolution. Perhaps the civilized world would just let them down and turn it's back on them.
There was a loud bang that didn't seem to break their train of thought, which had diffused into a reflecting pool. Then there was a bit of noise from upstairs that they didn't care to check into.
There were shouts.
They had slept through screams though, and shouts were nothing.
The boat had begun to rock.
"Jack?"
"Yeah Ralph..."
Ralph slid from beside Jack, where they had been curled up to satiate their new constant need for human contact. He looked blankly out the porthole for a bit.
"Ralph?"
"The island!" Ralph whispered hoarsely, cutting off the other boy.
"What about it?"
He didn't say anything, but Jack was beside him in a second, and he could see it too. It was closer. Too close. Not the same island, a different one, but still the same looming cliffs and hanging vines, the same... thing.
"Why is the boat going towards it?"
"I don't know."
"Are they going to dock?"
Jack stared, his eyes quivering, a hint of fear the only thing he could feel in his numbed body.
"I think it's going to crash."
A/N: Little cliffhanger, but not really. There's a difference, though, I'm gonna update this pretty soon, I think. Comparatively soon. I've got exams, so don't get mad if I don't for a week or something, but I know where I'm going with this. Hooray for plot. R&R if you wish, cause it's kind and nice.
Ocean
Ch2
Forgiveness is such a stupid idea. There's no such thing as forgiveness, really, Ralph mused, his closed eyes sharpening the pungent smells of damp wood, cloth, and boy. There's no such thing as feelings, in the most primal existence there is. The one I was a part of... just a few nights ago... so close to death. Nothing's changed. Nothing at all.
His eyes fluttered open, and the darkness was thinned by the light streaming in from the porthole in the wall over the empty bed. Memories of the ship returned, slowly, like the vague recollection of a haunting dream. Every morning he awoke to a new world, every morning he could not remember, or adjust to.
He sat up, staring blank and palefaced into the monstrous shimmering moon that hung suspended and crystalline among the wavelike clouds overhead. Something was wrong. It smelled... it smelled like Jack, like fear, like sweat and like the island. A shiver passed through him. Alone in the darkened cabin began to echo in his mind. Alone in the dark. Alone and vulnerable. Alone with Jack.
And the bed, empty felt empty, the close contact of Jack's curled back against his side feeling cold and insubstantial..
Fear had fled. Irrational terror tremorred his senses for a moment, a long thin, wavering drawn-out moment that froze him upright amid the tangled bedsheets with his eyes slowly falling shut again and his muscles going limp and weak.
Still alone.
No one hunting you.
It isn't that, no, it's not, Ralph. Die or no, it's the same fate. You're not afraid of anything like that, of death or harm or anything that specific. You're scared of the dark. You're scared of hunters in the night. And of being afraid like this for the rest of your life.
Curled in a fetal position into the crook of Ralph's arm, Jack breathed slowly. The feel of their skin touching made Ralph tense at every realization. There was something so twisted and perverse about the island they had left that this... this regression into whimpering children, seemed so strange but normal. Normal. That was something Ralph could dream about. Nothing was normal anymore. It was vile to pretend.
He wanted the island back. Sighing, he gazed out the porthole over the rolling plains of blue and saw the grey outline miles away. Lost forever, no one would ever believe them truly. It was a nauseating inhuman place, and they were natives of it.
There was no leaving it, no going back. Ralph shifted, screwing shut his eyes to stop the tears, then stopped and sighed as they didn't come.
The most primal of beings felt no emotion. There was no anger, no hatred, no vengence or forgiveness. There was only fear, and it was to keep you alive. He couldn't survive in the real world like this.
"Ralph?"
The sudden voice shot out in the airy darkness and the tension of the silence broke with an instantaneous spasm. Jack cringed, then smiled, his half-open eyes seeking out the other wiry boy. Their bodies had been so worn away, he thought.
"Morning."
"Is it even morning? It's too... white, I dunno, the sun's not up yet."
They paused and Jack rubbed his eyes. Conscious of their presence, Ralph's arms drew shyly away from Jack and he could see his skin contract at the sudden cold.
"Don't do that," Jack whispered. Ralph shrugged. The arms hung motionless for a second before tentatively returning.
Warmth was an empty comfort.
"You sleep o..." Ralph's moth was half opened in the meek effort of pointless chatter, but his words trailed off as he glanced up and saw the island. On fire.
"Wacco," Jack gasped, and before Ralph could do anything, he had scrambled up onto his knees and was grinning wildly at the grey outline ablaze with red. Ralph rushed up beside him, clasping at the window ledge and breathing hard. Panic grinded at his senses- the island was burning? Again? There was no return, no return at all then.
"We..." he breathed, "we can't go back, we can never go back..." he vision went a bit cloudy and he fell back.
"What's that?" Jack's clear voice.
"The island."
There was a long pause. Ralph's eyes were closed now and he could feel solid gravity pulling him against the thickness of the mattress, his heartbeat slowing, unhindered.
"Ralph."
It was all over.
"Ralph, it's just the sunrise. The island's not even in that direction, it's further East. That's just an uninhabitted place, Ralph, not our island. We left ours long ago. It's gone."
Deny your words, Jack. I can't listen to you. You're making sense now. Just last night you were a wreck, couldn't think, couldn't move, like I was nights ago, and now you're back? Now you're better? Rational? Like I was at the rescue? Damn you then, I'm right back, you see, where I started. And you're just a step behind.
This is a viscious cycle, only death could end it. Only my own death.
Jack's palm rested with sudden tangibility on Ralph's back, a locationless point in empty void of sensation in his swimming head. They'll bring breakfast down soon. Jack can't eat upstairs, he has to be confined. I can leave though... I don't deserve to though... so many contradictions.
"Go back to sleep."
Whether it was Jack's cautious voice or Ralph's own clockwork mind, he obeyed, and the stinging of waking perceptions dulled almost instantly.
***
"It just kinda seems like we should... talk about it."
"Yeah... didn't we do that last night?"
"I dunno. I don't care."
"It was pretty wizard though, when we first got on the island..."
"Don't say that."
"Why not?"
"Cause."
"Cause it went wrong, right. But... I dunno, it could have gone so right. It just didn't. And then..."
"Don't say that either."
"You said we should talk."
"Yeah. I know."
"..."
"There's tons I don't really wanna hear anymore."
"Me neither. I just..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"I..."
"What?"
"I dunno."
...
"Me neither."
***
They had been lying there for a long time, their eyes glazed over in blind absolution. Their minds skirted soundlessly the civilization they were headed for, the pain, the rejection, or the failure. Perhaps there would be no resolution. Perhaps the civilized world would just let them down and turn it's back on them.
There was a loud bang that didn't seem to break their train of thought, which had diffused into a reflecting pool. Then there was a bit of noise from upstairs that they didn't care to check into.
There were shouts.
They had slept through screams though, and shouts were nothing.
The boat had begun to rock.
"Jack?"
"Yeah Ralph..."
Ralph slid from beside Jack, where they had been curled up to satiate their new constant need for human contact. He looked blankly out the porthole for a bit.
"Ralph?"
"The island!" Ralph whispered hoarsely, cutting off the other boy.
"What about it?"
He didn't say anything, but Jack was beside him in a second, and he could see it too. It was closer. Too close. Not the same island, a different one, but still the same looming cliffs and hanging vines, the same... thing.
"Why is the boat going towards it?"
"I don't know."
"Are they going to dock?"
Jack stared, his eyes quivering, a hint of fear the only thing he could feel in his numbed body.
"I think it's going to crash."
A/N: Little cliffhanger, but not really. There's a difference, though, I'm gonna update this pretty soon, I think. Comparatively soon. I've got exams, so don't get mad if I don't for a week or something, but I know where I'm going with this. Hooray for plot. R&R if you wish, cause it's kind and nice.