Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. I don't own the characters, but most of the storyline is mine and mine only.

Author's Note: This is the prequel to "A Beautiful Somewhere", you don't have to have read that story to know what this is about. It's not a Future!Finchel yet, but we're getting there.

They just sat there, holding hands, staring at the different envelopes, trying to figure out which one to open first. There were three from New York, four from California, two from Ohio and three from Chicago. To say that Finn was scared would be understatement. He was terrified. There was no way this was going to go the way they wanted it to. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table for an hour before Rachel had surprised him, bringing another batch of banana bread and when he didn't respond or kiss her hello, she had just sat there with him and chewed on her bottom lip, humming a song that he'd never heard before. He snuck one glance at her before focusing on the envelope covered table and blinked quickly before dropping his head onto the table with a loud thud.

"Finn!"

"I'm okay," sitting up, he rubbed his forehead and winced, "That really hurt."

"Don't touch it, I'll get ice," he nodded as she let his hand go and blinked back the tears from the pain as she returned with ice wrapped in a towel. He closed his eyes as she moved her hand to the back of his neck, steadying his head as the other hand guided the towel to his forehead. Flinching as the cold towel met the bump, Finn whimpered. But Rachel wasn't having any of it, "Behave yourself!"

"It's cold and I'm in pain."

"Quit being a baby. This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't used your head to knock on wood."

"It hurts," he pouted, turning his head a little to look at her. There were tears in her eyes and Finn knew they weren't from feeling sorry for him for bashing his head, but they were tears of fear. What if they got into two different schools, far away from each other? What would happen to them then? He might have promised forever for them and told her that nothing and no one would come between them, but how much of what Finn promised her was really in their control. Gently stroking her cheek as a tear rolled over his thumb, Finn closed his eyes and moved her hand away from his forehead, "I should open something."

"Wait…"

"What?"

"Pick something from California."

"Why?"

"We'll save New York for the end."

"Isn't that what we're supposed to open first?"

"I don't want us to be disappointed right at the start."

"Rachel, that is some seriously flawed logic."

"Just trust me, Finn. Open something from the other side of the country and we'll work our way East."

"Are you sure?" she just nodded, gently pressing the towel back against his forehead as he stretched his arm out to reach for the first California envelope. They had already discussed how the weight and size of the envelope would tell him whether he got in or not. But that conversation had led to the weight and size of Finn Jr. and that conversation had been abandoned just about as fast as Rachel's grandma panties, leaving everything about college applications hanging over their heads like some kind of secret. But now there would be no getting distracted by sex, no fooling around on the kitchen floor, no getting dragged to the laundry room for a quick spin. Now it was just the two of them and a kitchen table covered in college acceptance or rejection letters.

He took a deep breath and ripped the envelope open, closing his eyes as he pulled out the letter.

Four hours later, Rachel was sitting on the kitchen counter, sipping on juice while Finn sat in the opposite corner, his legs stretched out in front of him on the floor. He couldn't look at her and while he was fully aware of her eyes focused on him, he couldn't bring himself to look up at her. He knew that at some point he needed to look her in the eye and say that everything was going to be okay. That they'd make it through whatever was coming their way. But he couldn't. California and New York were hours and time zones apart. There was no way he could be at her doorstep every single second of the day. He couldn't curl up in bed with her on the nights she was cold, or the days that she didn't do well on an audition. He couldn't look into those chocolate brown eyes and tell her that she'd nail the next audition. He couldn't collapse on her couch after a long football session. And just like that, he couldn't open his eyes to look at her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. In theory everything seemed so easy. In theory, Finn Hudson had their lives planned out just the way Rachel Berry wanted it planned out. In theory, Finn Hudson was going to be studying in New York. Theory fucked them over and now they were stuck with this huge gap between them. Part of the reason he was sitting so far away from her was because he needed to get used to the distance. This was nothing because he could hear her sniffling and sucking loudly on the straw to get every last drop of juice out of the box. Other than that, the house was silent and Finn was praying that someone would just walk through the door and ease the tension between the two of them. He knew that they had to talk about it eventually, but right then he was in too much of a mess to form full sentences. And especially the kind of sentences that would make this whole thing seem a lot better than it really was. "Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to sit there all night?"

"Yes."

"Baby, please talk to me."

"I am talking to you."

"No, about what just happened."

"I can't…"

"Finn, please."

"California and New York, that's all."

"You told me that no matter happened, we could do it."

"I know we can, I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Losing you."

"Finn, please look at me."

"I can't…" He felt her in front of him and when her hands touched his legs, Finn flinched without thinking. He felt her move away and while she wasn't touching him anymore, he could hear her breathing right there in front of him, "Finn, I'm scared too. But if you don't look at me how are we going to fix this?"

"There's nothing to fix, Rachel. We're studying on different coasts."

"You promised that we could make this work."

"I'm going to keep that promise, but you understand when I say that it scares me anyway, right?"

"Think of it this way, we'll see each other every few months. It's not like we'll never see each other."

"You'll really come to California?"

"Only to see my boyfriend, of course."

Before he could respond, the kitchen door swung open and his mom and Burt walked in, carrying grocery bags the size of Rachel and everything else was forgotten. Carole Hudson-Hummel spent a few minutes staring at the open envelopes and then looked at Finn, with her big grin on her face. Burt was in shock and while Finn caught a glimpse of Rachel wiping her tears, he couldn't help but smile back at his mother. College in California, on a full ride football scholarship, it was time for celebrations.

But Rachel had to go. And Finn didn't stop her even when she turned around at the front door and blew him a kiss.

Dinner was exciting, not for Finn really, but for everyone else. His mom couldn't stop talking about how amazing California would be when they came to visit and how he'd change and grow into himself and Finn tuned her out after she started squealing with all the excitement. He was glad that neither his mother or Burt had noticed him pushing the peas around on his plate. He was starving, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. He had Rachel's face printed on his brain and it hurt to know that she was holding on for him to make their relationship work. She wasn't going to give up on him, he knew that because after the Santana and Puck fiasco, she was the one who fought to get him back in her life. He wasn't letting go, there was no chance of that, but the distance scared him. Finn knew that at some point he'd have to calculate the distance between New York and California if he was going to be make a million trips a year, but right then, he was calculating the distance between his front door and Rachel's house.

Not too far.

He didn't excuse himself from the table, he didn't say a single word, Finn just stood up, grabbed his hoodie, car keys and walked out the front door. He stared at his car for a few minutes and then gave up, deciding to just walk it. He needed the fresh air, he needed to breath before he got to the Berry house. His eyes were watering and a part of him wondered if he was really crying, or if it was the cold breeze hurting his eyes. Adjusting his hoodie over his head, Finn forced a smile as he passed the Thompson family, pushing their sleeping triplets in a large baby pusher. He didn't know why New York didn't want him, but he knew that this was God playing a trick on him. God was punishing him for not believing after the whole grilled cheesus thing. God didn't want Finn and Rachel to enjoy the next four years together. For a split second, Finn hated God.

He stopped across the street from the Berry house and stared up at Rachel's window. The light was on, but there was no movement. He breathed through his nose, pushing the hoodie back a little before crossing the road to her house. Pulling his sleeve down over his fingers, Finn knocked on the door gently. He took a step back as he waited for someone to answer it. He heard shuffling of feet, followed by Rachel's infectious giggle and then when she pulled the door open, the giggle died and her eyes lit up. "You came."

"I'm sorry, Rachel."

"For what?"

"For not crossing my fingers and toes hard enough. For not praying hard enough. For not fighting for New York hard enough."

"Finn," she stepped out, pulling her jacket on as she shut the door behind her, "You couldn't have done anything more than you did. You applied to New York, for me. And it's their loss for not taking you, but it's not your fault."

"I feel like I didn't try hard enough to make New York work."

"Trust me, you tried more than enough. I was there with you when you printed out applications for every school in the city."

"Maybe that wasn't enough." Finn sighed, shaking his head as Rachel chuckled softly, biting her bottom lip, "Babe, this isn't funny."

"Yeah, it is," pulling him towards her, Rachel rested her hands on his chest. He was glad that he wasn't standing on the step, not that it made that much of a difference, but this was so much more comfortable, "I'm supposed to be the one that's whining and crying and making a fuss about you not getting into New York. And here you are, pouting and scowling about how you didn't try hard enough."

"I still don't get how that's funny."

"I love you, Finn Hudson, and no matter where in the world we might be, we can make this relationship work. You fought for me once, I fought for you once and now we just have to fight for each other together."

"Okay."

"Good. Because I've already looked through the temporary schedule on the Columbia website and I have marked out dates when you can visit me in New York and dates when I can visit you in California. And I'm sure that UCSD and Columbia have similar holiday patterns, so it's not like I'm going to mess up your football practices or your social life."

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"There's this boy who likes telling me that once in a while."

"Looks like I'll have to spend the next few months fending this boy off, because you're all mine and I've never been good at sharing."

"That's fine with me, I don't really like sharing either."

"Great," Finn kissed her softly, moving one hand to cup her cheek as she kissed him back, "I should probably go home, I left mom and Burt at the kitchen table mid celebrations."

"Think you could go home a little later? There's something I want to show you."

"Is it pink and sexy?"

"More like pink, sexy and if you slide it off, it gets that much sexier."

"Oh," Finn licked his lips, pulling her against him for another kiss, "How could I refuse an offer like that. Lead the way, Miss Berry."

"You should probably start referring to me as the future Mrs. Hudson, it's a total turn on."

Growling softly, Finn kissed her again, mumbling against her lips, "Lead the way, future Mrs. Hudson.