"Okay when I read this, none of that fighting crap, got it?" Konan said looking around the room. Hidan gave her the finger while Deidara just rolled his eyes.

1) Jashit

Hidan flipped over the table or at least tried to. He pulled out his scythe and pointed it at every member in the room. "Okay which one of you morons just insulted Jashin-sama?!"

"Just about all of us do it," said Deidara.

"I SHOULD KILL YOU ALL!" yelled Hidan shaking his fist.

"Calm down, Hidan," said Konan calmly.

"Fuck you!" yelled Hidan but he did stay where he was and just grumbled to himself.

2) I'm tired of seeing toenails on the living room floor. If I find who did this, I'll beat their ass.

"Yeah who is that?" asked Tobi. For the longest time, he kept finding toenail clippings on the floor. It was nasty for one thing and he was glad someone else had the same issue with them being there.

"I'm tired of stepping on them myself," said Kisame. "I think the carpet might be 65% toenail by now."

"If I find them, I'll whoop their ass myself, hm!" said Deidara.

"I'd like to see that," said Itachi.

"You got somethin' to say, Uchiha?" Deidara glared at the older man.

"I doubt you can take any of us on," said Itachi. "Even everyone at their weakest could handle you without trying."

"Why you...!" Deidara looked as if he wanted to jump across the table and hit Itachi when his partner stopped him and gave him a "Do you really want to embarrass yourself?" look. The blonde man shot the Uchiha a dirty look before sitting back down and crossing his arms. "Hmph! Whatever, weasel boy."

3) Hidan needs to wash his hands.

"I do so wash my damn hands!"

"Yeah right," His partner rolled his eyes.

4) Kakuzu is such a sexy mother fucker. I'd give $10 just to suck his dick.

"$1O?!" Hidan burst out laughing while a few dared to snicker at this. "That's all your old ass is worth? Ten bucks? Ahahahahaha!"

"At least I know what soap is."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" yelled Kisame, Deidara, and Tobi.

"Shut the fuck up!" yelled Hidan.

5) Sasori needs to stay in that puppet. He gives me the creeps outside of it.

Sasori just shrugged.

6) Deidara's breath smells like ass.

"My breath doesn't stink!" He protected.

"Breath into your hand and sniff," said Sasori.

"Fine. I will!" He did so and gagged. 'Damn my breath really does stink. I can't admit it though.' Deidara did it again and pretended it smelled like roses though everyone had seen him gagging on his own breath. "Nothing's wrong with my..."

"We all saw you gag...like you gag on dick!" Hidan burst out laughing.

"I know where you can get some good mouth wash," said Zetsu smirking. "It's on the same isle where Hidan can find soap."

The priest stopped laughing then.

7) I don't ever want to see Itachi naked again. He has a bush where his dick should be. He should shave that fucking pube hair off.

If it had been anyone else, everyone would be fighting over who saw them with no clothes on. Itachi didn't appear to be bothered though on the inside he was horrified. What creep had seen him naked besides...he tried so hard to keep a straight face as he was fighting off giving Kisame a shocked look.

"Wait, who the fuck shaves down there?" said Hidan. "It looks like that thing on a turkey."

"And who the fuck was staring at Itachi?" asked Kisame. "If I catch any one in our room, I'll beat their ass! Who was it?!"

"It wasn't me!" said Tobi. "I bet it was Deidara! He's so jealous of Itachi so he wanted to find dirt on him so he can embarrass him!"

"Shut up, Tobi! Like I would waste the time on that bastard!"

"Aren't you always plotting to..." began Sasori.

"Shut up, un!"

8) What color are Kisame pubes? I bet his hair is dyed and it's pink underneath.

"Who the hell is pube obsessed?" Kisame mumbled.

"Well? Is it?" asked Tobi.

"Did you write that?"

"No...but is that your real hair color?"

"Of course it is!"

"Pubes?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh...KISAME HAS TURKEY NUTS!" Kisame threw a shoe at him and missed as the man ducked out of the way.

Tobi then giggled and ran off shouting about Kisame having no pubic hair despite everyone being in the room they just left from. Since those two were gone and she didn't want them to miss anything, she dismissed the rest of them. On their way out, she noticed a few of them giving each other nasty looks. If a fight broke out in the hideout, she hoped Pain would just pass it off as the everyday squabbling the Akatsuki had on a daily basis. If he knew she was the reason they were fighting, that would piss him off and she'd be missing out on a good laugh at what everyone wrote.