Dean likes how hotel rooms come with mini bars. He likes how the diners in small towns serve proper food, and at a reasonable price. He likes listening to the same tapes over and over again. He likes his classic rock. He loves the fact that Sam still has no idea about him and Castiel. He absolutely adores the fact that there is a him and Castiel.

It's been around two months since Castiel revealed to Dean that he had the ability to read his thoughts, and yet Dean still couldn't get used to it. It was just so weird, an angel being able to read his thoughts. And if Dean thinks it's weird, it's definitely weird, I mean he hunts ghosts for a living. His weird meter is set pretty high.

He's only seen Castiel twice in those two months, both after Sam went to bed. He would just randomly appear. Always alone. The last time was at the very start of the second month, and Dean is starting to wonder what's taking so long. He spends ten minutes every night, after Sam's asleep, just thinking completely of Castiel, hoping he'll show up. And that's separate from all the time he spends during the day thinking about him.

"What do you want for lunch?" Sam calls out from the lounge room. This time they actually got a hotel room that has rooms. It's fancy~

"You choose" Dean replies angrily. He's been growing increasingly mopey and angry without his late night visits from the angel.

"Fine, we'll have Chinese"

The food arrives around half an hour later and Dean walks slowly out of the bedroom where he's been hiding for the past month. Moping. He can barely taste the food, the only thing on his mind is Castiel. He starts to wonder if he's okay, and the thought almost makes him laugh, an angel being hurt? Not likely. Almost makes him laugh, he's stopped by the feeling of dread he gets at the thought. And if he is okay why hasn't he come to see Dean? Does he just not care anymore? These are the kind of thoughts that have been floating around in Deans head for the past month. Chewing him up inside. Made all the worse by the fact that Cas can hear them, he hears them and doesn't care.

As soon as the meal is over Dean goes back to the bedroom, where he turns on the TV. He's not really looking at the family movie playing, he's not even seeing the screen as much as he's watching one section of pixels change from colour to colour. He eventually doses off.

He gets woken by Sam banging on the door.

"It's time to go, get up!"

Oh, right. Dean remembers that they were going to check out an old 'haunted' house tonight. Maybe he can shoot something. The thought is enough to make him get out of bed, at least.

----------------------------------

Dean kicks in the door and hurries inside. The door probably wasn't even locked. He has just missed doing that. They investigate the whole first two floors before Sam finds the hidden door to the basement.

At the bottom of the stairs they find someone tied to a table, looking as if they had been tortured pretty brutally. Not a pretty sight. The body starts whining as they move closer, unable to form words because of the gag. As soon as they reach the table they hear a door nearby open. Turning, Dean finds himself face to face with Alastair once again. This guy just doesn't quit.

"Hello Dean, glad you could join me, fancy a turn?" Alastair hold the knife out to Dean, handle pointing out. Giving him the opportunity to tear someone's soul apart, just like he did in hell. Dean's almost angry enough to do it too.

"Sure... -" Dean doesn't get a chance to voice his sarcastic remark. It had taken Castiel a few seconds to join them. Seconds. What, he couldn't spare seconds for Dean? But Alastair, sure.

Dean struggles not to let his emotions show on his face. He's not even sure Castiel can even hear his thoughts anymore. Castiel is here with Uriel, or course.

It takes Dean a few extra seconds to realise he's been staring at Castiel for a little too long and he quickly averts his gaze.

"Now the gangs all hear!" Alastair doesn't sound very happy about this.

"Let the girl go" Castiel's voice is exactly like Dean remembers it, rough, emotionless, perfect. Dean is suddenly overwhelmed by memories. He used to think his memory was good, but these memories were amazing. He could feel Castiel's hand in his hair, he could even smell his skin.

Dean came back to reality a few minutes later, hoping he hadn't missed anything. So why the sudden show up? He shot the thought at Castiel, not even sure if he could hear it. If he could than he was very good at his poker face, not even his eyes changed.

He starts to notice that Castiel hasn't looked at him once since he's been here. Not once. Not even a glance. Dean feels oddly guilty and starts to wonder if it was something he did. He hopes to god it wasn't. Almost smiling at this, to god; how fitting.

Dean's sure a fight is going to break out, and he just wanted to get it over and done with so he can go back to his bedroom and mope.

He pulls Ruby's knife from his pocket and stabs Alastair in the chest mid sentence. Even knowing it didn't do any good, Dean feels slightly better. Everyone turns to look at Dean. Including both the angels. Castiel has no expression in his eyes. Dean misses seeing them glimmer with hope or anticipation. He thinks he sees a tiny change in Castiel's eyes at those thoughts, but he half hopes he just imagined it.

It might be better if Castiel had lost his mind reading ability, rather than just left Dean to worry and wait. It would be better if he hadn't known how much Dean had wanted to see him, what he would have given, then to have him simply ignore it as if it didn't matter.

Though, that is how Dean feels about himself, that he doesn't matter, so he's not surprised someone else feels that way.

He longs for the warmth, safety and privacy of his bed.

"Excuse me" Dean heads upstairs, leaving his brother standing with Alastair. Something he never thought he would do. He never thought he would leave a fight in general.

But he just couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand being around Castiel and knowing he doesn't care.

He finds an empty room with a couch on the second floor and spreads out, taking up the whole thing. He closes his eyes and starts to take slow deep breaths. He figures he can at least try the whole yoga relaxation deal. 'Desperate times call for desperate measures', right?

"Dean" That perfect voice comes out of nowhere, and it startles Dean into opening his eyes. It makes his heart rate rise, ruining his great attempt at calming down.

With his eyes open he can clearly see Castiel standing in the doorway, looking unsure of what to do. Unsure is not something Dean has seen Castiel be before.

"So, what's up?" Dean can't quite keep the anger out of his voice.

"Yes Dean, I can still hear your thoughts" Straight to the point, no wasting time. Castiel's eyes flash with pain and he lowers them to the ground.

Dean takes a minute to try and compose himself before he replies. So Cas had just chosen to ignore him, the one thing Dean couldn't bear.

Before Dean can think of a sentence that words what he is feeling Castiel speaks up again.

"You shouldn't doubt yourself as much as you do. All those things you think about yourself, they're not true." His voice is softer then Dean's ever heard it.

"You are not worthless Dean. You are not pitiful, or pathetic."

"So, you did just choose to ignore my thoughts then?" Unless I did something wrong. Dean just can't make the words come out of his mouth, but he knows Castiel heard them. He can see it in his eyes. His deep blue eyes.

"It's complicated.... You see.... There's this...." Castiel struggles for words, another thing Dean has never witnessed.

"I get it" Dean stands, pushing his way past Cas as he walks out the door. His skin tingling from the contact.

....

I'm not sure if I should keep going or not. Is it any good?