Me: YAYZ! I R HAZ DAREZ! Oop, hold on. (poofs Darkrai back)
Darkrai: Why did you do that? I didn't do anything wrong.
Me: Meh, I needed a bargaining tool. Also, I shall be known as the Apprentice until the end of the Fanfic. P.S.: I don't own Pokémon or the Force, just myself.
Darkrai: OK. By the way, I found these reviews in the pit. I think they were written by fangirls.
Apprentice: BY FANGIRLS?! (Hydro Pumps paper out of Darkrai's hand, torches it with a flamethrower, and buries it SEVEN feet under.) Mewtwo, spit on it for good measure.
Mewtwo: (in a bad mood) Be silent or face my wrath!
Apprentice: (looks ticked off) I give the orders here, Forever A Clone. (zaps Mewtwo with Force Lightning)
Mewtwo: (in extreme pain) OW! OW! OK, I'LL DO IT! OWOWOW!
Apprentice: (stops the lightning) And do not question me again!
Mewtwo: (spits on hole)
Apprentice: Good. Darkrai, have some fudge.
Darkrai: YAY! (noms fudge)
Apprentice: Would you mind reading the dares? I don't have thumbs.
Darkrai: Then how did you use Force Lightning?
Apprentice: Author Magic.
Darkrai: 0.0 Oookaay… Anyway, here's our first review, from someone going by the name of Poor Bob. Hi Bob, and thanks!
Kyogre- Teach Groudon to swim
Rayquaza- Let Groudon and Kyogre beat you up.
Reshiram and Zekrom- Are you racist?
Apprentice: Ooooh, good ones! Let's begin!
Kyogre: There is absolutely no way I'm-
Darkrai: (holds up dark energy threateningly)
Kyogre: (thoughtful) Hmmm… I can obey, teach Groudon to swim, suffer his wrath and go to war with him, crushing countless innocent lives, or I can refuse, giving myself up for the good of the many…
Apprentice: Hurry up! We've got other dares to get to THIS CHAPTER!
Kyogre: YOU ARE DELIBERATELY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY GOOD NATURE! F**K YOU!
Apprentice: I was just going to throw you into the nightmares, but it seems you have other ideas. (uses Force Grip to drop Kyogre into the fangirl pit)
Kyogre: (gasps) NOOOOO!
Apprentice (in ominous voice) And so another enemy of the Empire falls…
Mew: What empire?
Apprentice: I'm ignoring you. Onto the next dare!
Rayquaza: But you can't have them beat me up! Kyogre's getting mauled by fangirls! HA!
Apprentice: The power of fangirls is insignificant compared to the power of an Author.
Entei: What's with all the Star Wars quotes?
Apprentice: What's wrong with Star Wars? I LIKE Star Wars.
Raikou: Entei, you're being a short-sighted fool. If you anger the Apprentice, he'll kill us all!
Apprentice: I WILL NOT! Although I have to admit quoting Jetfire there was pretty epic. Raikou, have a brownie. Entei, TO THE NIGHTMARE!
Raikou: YAY! (noms brownie)
Entei: NOOOOO! (goes to Darkland, or wherever the heck Darkrai takes you)
Apprentice: Back to what I was doing before. (poofs pink Kyogre to the stage) Alright Rayquaza, Dare or Nightmare?
Rayquaza: (grumbling) Dare. AAAAAH! NO GROUDON! I NEED THAT SPLEEN! AAAAAH!(continues to get raged upon by Kyogretwo and Groudon)
Apprentice: Wow. Snakes ARE spineless. Next!
Reshiram: (angrily) Of course not! I would never discriminate!
Apprentice: Zekrom, what about you?
Zekrom: Actually, yes. Every black guy I've ever known has been a complete jerk!
Apprentice: (facepalms) Zekrom, you ARE black!
Zekrom: …well, s**t.
Apprentice: I'd have thought that Darkrai would have taught you better. TO THE FANGIRLS!
Zekrom: Oh well. I wonder how many I have.
Apprentice: 0.0 (grabs Zekrom's leg in his teeth, drags him into the fangirl pit, and trots out completely unharmed. Because Vaporeon is just that awesome.)
Fangirls: (attack Zekrom for being a Rayquaza rip-off)
Apprentice: That's that. Remember, the sooner you review, the sooner everyone escapes the fangirl pit!