Note: All grammatical errors are intentional, and belong solely to Percy. I had to literally force myself to write "me and their dad", so you'd better appreciate the in-characterization. (shivers at the horror of deliberately using poor grammar) A no-prize to anyone who gets the reference hidden in this chapter's title!

Chapter Two: Creepyspacycruel; or, Things Get Worse

All the sorting-out of stuff took a lot less time than I'd guessed. About an hour after he'd left, Chiron came back with a weird expression on his face and the news that I'd been chosen to show Alexis around the camp.

"Why me?" I asked, genuinely surprised. "Aren't the camp counselors the only ones allowed to do that?"

Chiron hemmed and hawed a bit. "Well.. normally. However, Mr. D has decided it would be most.. practical for you to do it. He's already taken a shine to you, to be honest, and specially requested you. I'll be releasing you from your regular camp duties to do so, for today, at least."

I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about this, but I wasn't real thrilled. Alexis was a weird kid, to say the least. Everything about him, from that creepy voice to the oddly blanched color of his feathery hair, made me uneasy. Somehow, I didn't trust him. And I was expected to spend the entire day with him, or maybe more? Hmm. Still, I tried to make the best of it. I'd only known him for a short time, anyway.

My uneasiness wasn't exactly assuaged by Alexis sneaking up behind me a few minutes later and looping his arms over my shoulders. I spazzed out and did a kind of thrashy dance out of his grasp, thinking he was about to strangle me.

"Hi," he said, completely unfazed. "Percy, right?"

"Guh," I replied, massaging a tendon in my shoulder that got pulled in the throes of my thrashy dance. "Yeah. Um. Hi. That didn't take long. So... why don't we start with the cabins?"

Alexis had no objections, so I walked him around the cabin area, talking about the various buildings and which gods they were built in honor of. I must admit he was a well-behaved tour group, mostly trailing behind me and looking around in fascination without asking too many questions. It was only after we reached the crowded Hermes cabin (where I assumed he'd be staying, since he couldn't possibly have been claimed this quickly) that there were any problems. They showed up with a vengenance, though.

The first little problems came in the form of two ironically non-little Ares kids, wandering around looking for trouble. Naturally, they spotted me immediately and came loping over. Since me and their dad don't get on so well (note the huge understatement), all the Ares kids have made me their collective target. Lucky me.

"Hey, Jackson," grunted Ares Dude. "Whaddaya doing here? Don't you have some big-shot quest to go on or whatever?"

"Not right now," I mumbled, trying to slide past with my back against the cabin wall. I really didn't want to deal with any more freaks than absolutely necessary. After all, I already had one following me around. "Scuse me, I got a special order to show this new kid around."

I knew it was a mistake the moment I opened my mouth.

"Ooo," mocked Ares Girl. One of Clarisse's cronies, I think. All Ares kids looked alike to me: mean. "Prissy has special orders. Aren't we the big man? I bet this is your hardest quest e-ver."

"It's not a quest." I felt my face burning. "Can I just get by, please?"

"Oh, I don't know about that." All of a sudden, Ares Girl's meaty hand was crushing my wrist. I winced at the aggravation of the earlier bruises. "I don't think you can handle the pressure." She leered as her hulking pal sniggered. It was probably the cleverest joke he'd ever heard. I tried to pull away. No luck.

As it turned out, I didn't need to. Ares Girl let go on her own with a strangled yelp. I looked up and saw Alexis standing behind her with his fingers curled around her square neck. When had he darted from behind me? And how had I failed to notice just how pointy and sharp-looking his nails were?

"That's not a very nice way to treat a son of Poseidon." His voice sounded like it had when I'd first encountered him: lower and raspier, more sinister. I shivered despite myself. "Don't you think you should apologize?"

I had to grudgingly admire the girl's guts. "Why should I?" she demanded, even though there was a faint tremor in her voice. "He doesn't care what I do to him, he's just a--"

A large spiderweb crack appeared in the wall of the Hermes cabin about a centimeter away from her nose. It took me longer than I expected to realize it'd been left by Alexis's fist.

"Care to finish that sentence? Or do you want to live a while longer?"

Ares guy, who'd been standing in a shocked daze for the last few paragraphs or so, suddenly snapped into action like somebody'd flicked the panic switch on his brain.

"Nobody effs around with my sister like that!" he roared, looming over us in a definitely menacing manner. Amazingly, Alexis looked unimpressed. I can't say I shared his emotions. "Let go of her right now, you runty punk! Hey, Prissy, call off your girlfriend or I'll..."

His threat trickled off as Alexis's right sneaker slammed into his stomach. He barely had time to hit the grass before the rest of Alexis followed, yanking the frozen sister with him as he pinned his much larger opponent onto the ground.

"I don't think we've met," he breathed, reminding me forcibly of those psycho little kids in horror movies. "How rude of me not to introduce myself. I'm Alexis Irvine, and this is my friend Mr. Fist."

I cringed, as much at the cliched line at what was about to happen, but I surprised myself by grabbing Alexis's balled-up hand as he drew it back to strike. It was actually a pretty small hand, and I wondered briefly how it could've laid a crack into the solid cabin.

"Alexis, that's enough." My voice came out a lot more authoritative than I expected, but it died when he swung his head around to glare at me. His eyes looked different-- wilder and almost feral-- and the pointy-toothed grin pasted across his pale face looked insane and out of place. The expression faded quickly when he recognized me, so quickly that I wondered if I'd imagined it.

"Hi, Percy!" he chirped, as if I'd just showed up. "I'm sorry, was I being too forward? These aren't your friends, are they by any chance?"

"No, but I don't think you needed to go that far," I muttered, casting a wary glance at the pair on the ground. They appeared to be playing dead, but I didn't feel like hanging around any longer than necessary. After all, someone would be showing up to investigate soon, and my life was complicated enough already.

Complicated and growing, I thought as I escorted the now vaguely cheerful Alexis hanging on my arm off the area. This mysterious new camper was freaking me out more and more. I wondered if I should tell Chiron about this incident; after all, the guy was starting to look mentally unstable and dangerous at that, but at the same time I didn't want Chiron to think I couldn't handle taking one kid on a tour.

Alexis was wearing a short-sleeved shirt like mine now, and as his arms wrapped around mine, I noticed that his skin wasn't warm like it should've been, especially after walking around outside in the hot sun and all that physical exertion. Instead, it was as cold as if he'd been standing in a freezer.

I shivered again-- and not just from the cold hands on my bare skin.

Who was Alexis Irvine, anyway?

Author's Note:

Whew! That was a bit of a ride, wasn't it? Hope this chapter was worth the wait! I wrote 3/4ths of it all in one day, which is pretty good for me (usually my writing is all spread out over time). Uhh... I guess I don't have much to say today, except that I hope you all stay with me through this painfully slow fic even in its darkest moments (what does that mean?!)

Thanks:

Becky Creighton, as before. By the way, the shoes are black and white with two white stripes on either side but no round star patch (as they're not real Converses), and I'm planning on making the wings out of white vinyl.

Theleafylord, whom I should've included before. Please pardon my complete blankout, and see the shoes note above.

vampireking, for adding me both to your Favorite Stories list AND your Favorite Authors list. I feel so loved.. (sniffles with gratitude)

And... er.. the other people who reviewed on my story. Why can't I remember your names?! Please accept my apology and genuine gratitude, anyway.

Luke: Don't be stupid! Be a smarty! Come and join the Titan's a--

Me: (kicks him) Wrong fic, stupid.