Dislaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer, I did not write Twilight or create the characters. I only take them out to play!

AN: Thanks to all who stopped by and stayed to read the whole chapter! Special thanks to the ones who added me to their alerts, and a great big kiss from Emmett for the two who reviewed! It's because of you, this goes out today!

Here's a little peek into Bella's past. Enjoy!

HELL IS LIVING WITHOUT YOU

Chapter 2: Picking At Old Wounds

Chapter 2 – Picking at Old Wounds

Four hours later – yes that's right I said four hours! I left The Book Store feeling quite relaxed and with a few purchases.

Since it was already so late in the afternoon, I began preparing supper for me, myself and I. These were the times when I wished that I was still living closer to my friends and self adopted family. But I could hardly stand extended visits to the city, so there was no surprise when moving there turned out to be a big mistake, and even less surprising that I've move closer to where my parents had lived and raised me.

If only they were still living, then at least I'd have somebody near by. Unfortunately fate and a drunk driver had other plans.

Flashback

I was just getting back from a bonfire party on the reserve. I had been to quite of few of these, since my best friend Jake lived on the reserve. Mom and Charlie were out at some party thing honoring the retiring chief of police and Charlie's taking over as the new chief of police.

There was a light blinking on the phone in the kitchen indicating there was a message. Knowing it was probably just my parents touching base, or to let me know they were staying out the night, I decided to check it after I showered and got ready for bed.

All clean and in my sweats, I was about to check the message on the phone when there was a loud knock on the door. I quickly glanced at the clock on my bedside table: 1:34am. Huh, who would be making a visit this late?

I went to the door, and could see Jake's face in the window. Odd… I wonder if he forgot something. I opened the door and was about to ask, when he rushed in and grabbed me in a tight as a vice hug.

"Oh Bells, I'm so sorry! I can't believe this happened, when Billy told me, the first thing I did was come straight back here. Oh god, you must be in shock. I'll stay the night and…" I cut him off mid ramble.

"Jake? Stop. What are you talking about? In shock over what? I'm not in shock over anything." Even though I had no idea what Jake was talking about, for some unexplainable reason- maybe from Jake's hysterics I can't be sure; but my eyes had begun to water as I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach.

"Jake…" I barely whispered out. He finally let go of me enough to look at my face.

"Shit Bella, I-I-I… you don't know yet." Jake sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. The unknown doom was getting to be too much for me.

"Jake, please don't." Was all I could choke out. I looked over at the now intimidating red blinking light on the phone and instantly knew that the message was not from my parents at all. In fact, I was certain that the answer to why Jake was over here and in hysterics would be in that message.

Without thinking, or paying any attention to what Jake was saying to me; I went to the phone and hit play for the message.

"This is Constable Sam Uley calling for Isabella Swan in regards to Charlie and Rene Swan. Bella, your parents have been in a terrible accident. Would you please call…." For all I know Sam could have been asking me to call the Queen of England but I heard nothing of it as it seemed my senses were beginning to shut down.

As I slowly slid down to the floor with the phone still clutched in my hands, I vaguely remember hearing Jake shouting but it sounded so far away that he might as well have been whispering.

They say that no parent should have to bury their child; nobody ever says anything about a child having to bury both their parents in one day.

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The funeral was small, and sweet – if a funeral can be called sweet. The house I spent 17 years living in was sold and the money was put away for me. I only had four months until I'd become a legal adult, so I went and stayed with my self-declared brother Emmett – a rookie who Charlie had taken under his wing when Emmett had first started. I finished high school, and with some of the money that was left for me I opened Tickle Trunk Costumes. It was an unfulfilled dream of my mom's. She had always loved make-believe more than any adult ever should admit. Opening Tickle Trunk Costumes in a way helps keep their memory alive and keeps the idle mind busy.

I decided to make creamy chicken soup, one of my favorite comfort foods; and since I was only feeding 1 person instead of the usual 6-10, I'd have plenty of leftovers for the next few days.

With my bowl in one hand and a new book in the other, I went and sat in the living room, next to the tree that Alice had insisted took center stage.

Soup finished, and now completely and totally submersed into this new novel; I hadn't realized it was beginning to get dark outside. In fact, it wasn't until I heard outside by the kitchen door that I even thought to look up.

"Gee, time sure flies by when you're fantasizing about being the lead character in a book." I mused to myself. Thinking I forgot to latch the screen door in the kitchen again, I begrudgingly put the book aside and got up to lock the back door.

When I got to the door though, it was indeed latched. The noise was not coming from the door itself, but rather something that was ….scratching? Yeah, scratching the door.

When I opened the door to find what was on the other side making the noise, I was shocked to find a large dog sitting on my porch. I was still in shock when the dog decided to invite himself into the house.

"Hey buddy, where did you come from?" I tried calling to him. He didn't respond, naturally; instead he kept walking until he was in the living room. Not knowing what else to do, I followed.

I wonder if this was another of Alice's ideas? Would she have just left a dog with no explanation on my door step? Knowing Alice, firstly she wouldn't have gotten me an adult dog. Alice would be more the type to bring me some baby miniature poodle thing or another type of ankle biter. Also, she would have made a much bigger deal about getting me a dog.

Could it have been anyone else from the "gang"? I don't think so.

The stranger pooch, without any invitation whatsoever, gracefully jumped onto the couch I was just sitting on, and decided to take a nap.

Well, I'm not having that. Or so I thought…..

After several minutes of trying to coax, beg, and threaten the stranger pooch to get off my couch and outside with no success, I gave up. I would just have to go in to town in the morning to call the animal services to come get this canine intruder out of my home.

Now the question was; what do I do until the morning?

Frustrated, I sat down on the furthest edge of the couch from stranger pooch and let out a deep sigh. The dog, with his head down on his two front paws merely looked at me from the corned of his eyes and raised his eyebrow at me. He didn't growl or bark or even move much really.

Sticking to my tiny corner, I grabbed my book and began reading again. I spent the next hour reading chapters of the book while keeping an eye on the dog. He still had yet to move, and if it wasn't for his body minutely rising and falling; I would have thought he kicked the bucket.

Sometime later, I woke with a start not realizing I had fallen asleep.

Disoriented, I went to stand up when I realized I had weight on my lap.

Looking down, I was shocked to find the mutt had his big head lying across my lap and was currently snoring away. He must have sidled up along me at some point when I had fallen asleep.

Debating on what to do, I hesitantly put a hand on top of his head; he woke up but made no effort to move.

Thinking he might be disoriented as well, I placed my hand by his face to smell me. He did just that, followed by a gentle lick that melted my heat.

"Hmm…. You aren't too bad…. Eh buddy?" Stranger pooch replied with a yawn.

"Yeah, I hear ya. Time for bed." As I stifled my own yawn. Trying not to disturb the dog, I gingerly lifted his head, and slid out from underneath him. I gave him a pat on the head, and watch him stretch out on the couch.

"Goodnight buddy. We'll find you your home tomorrow." And with that, I turned the lights out and headed for the stairs.

After showering, and getting dressed for bed, I came to bed and realized that my furry intruder decided to come make bed out of the floor rug.

"Don't get too comfy there, remember this isn't your home."

Before I dozed off, I thought of being a dog owner and the feeling of loneliness disappeared.

It was odd to find that in the morning, I had remembered that I had my first guest in my house; sleeping on the floor.

My best attempts to be silent and sneaky were futile, the minute I merely touched the knob on the door, the sandy and charcoal German Sheppard stretched and stood up.

So, what's a lonely girl to do?

I make us breakfast.

Making two BLTs, I cut one and put it on a plate for me, and I cut the other and put it on a plate for stranger.

Only minutes later, with his plate empty and his chops licked, he waited expectantly by the kitchen door.

"What? You got to go to the bathroom?" I asked, apparently I had forgotten that animals are living creatures, and if they ate then surely they would….. great!

Stranger just nudged the door handle and let out a quick low whine. Thinking I'd rather have him go in my yard, rather than in my car on our way to the animal shelter; better let him go now.

I went for the door, and the second the door was wide enough for him to get through, he was out and gone faster than I could realize what had happened.

"Humph, what a typical male. Sleeps with you, and then bolts in the morning." Even though I felt I slight ache in my chest, I closed the door and decided that was one job I was glad I didn't have to handle anymore.

AN: So, another new character (kinda). I hope no one is too disappointed that there will not be a Charlie or Renee in this story. There is already a ton of characters that we'll get to know very well, and I think the story would get a little stale if there were too much of that. Gotta cut corners somewhere.

So leave me some love or hate - but hopefully love. And I'll get on putting out chapter 3 for you all!