Chapter 2: All The Butterflies In The World
I leaned in to give Cat a peck on the lips excited about what what all this could mean, to my surprise she deepened the kiss. She seemed to want this as much as I did. "So what does all this mean?" I ask not sure what she wanted. Did she want us to just remain friends? Did she want us to date in secret. The one thing I hoped above all else is she wouldn't want it to be public, the idea haunted me.
"Well," started Cat, "You don't seem ready to have something like this known, which is okay I sware!" I waited for the 'but'. "But, I'm not sure I would want to be in a relationship that had to be kept secret. I mean I wouldn't mind us cuddling and kissing on girl's weekend, or spending extra time together, but I think until we're both a bit more ready we shouldn't make anything official. Even if the officialness had to be kept secret."
Until we're both more ready? I understood why I had to be ready but she didn't seem to mind the possible social consequences that could ensue, so what did she have to be ready about? I was about to ask when she turned back towards the TV and started the movie back up leaning into me letting out a soft sigh. I decided whatever she needed to do to ready herself wasn't of much importance right now, I could worry about that later. For now I would just enjoy her snuggling into me knowing she felt the same way for me as I did for her.
It was now ten PM and after a long day of movies and cuddling we decided it was time to try and get some sleep. Not to my surprise, or Cat's it seemed, my parents nor Trina were hope yet. To be honest I wasn't the least bit sad about that considering it meant a whole day spent just Cat and I.
After showering brushing my teeth and doing my other nightly rituals Cat and I met up in my room, Cat had gone ahead and used the downstairs bathroom to get ready for bed. "So," Cat said getting under the covers with me and taking my hand into hers. "How long exactly have you had a crush on me? I didn't put everything together until about six months ago."
She was cuddled up against me with her breath against my neck. "Well, that's a tough question to answer," I started trying to put everything into a time line in my head. "I remember the first time I met you in the hallway how beautiful I thought you were, but I didn't like you right then and there." I took a few more seconds of deep thinking before I came to a conclusion.
"I wouldn't be able to tell you when I exactly started liking you as more than a friend, I mean there was no epiphany moment or I didn't just wake up one day and know. It's like colors transitioning from red to blue and showing all the shades in between; there's no where you'd be able to point to and say 'this is exactly where red turns into blue' it just slowly happens in a transition through different shades. I only like you as a friend, who was beautiful, at first and slowly over time my feelings changed."
I hoped all that made sense considering the fact it sounded a bit confusing even to me. To my delight though Cat kissed my check making it feel like all the butterflies in the world were right now in my stomach flying around madly.
"For me," Cat started, "it didn't happen quite that way, I mean I did have an epiphany moment. After a while I took special note that you always found reasons to hug me, hold my hand, show affection period and I started to wonder if you may like me as more than a friend. Like I said before though since you were kind of hot and cold about it, one day showing affection umpteenth number of times and then for three days nothing I wasn't sure if I was right or not. At first I didn't return the feelings but had no issue if you did feel that way towards me. I started to get chills at one point when you would do it and feel an urge to cuddle into you but explained it as me being an affectionate person myself. One day though when you held my hand at that scary movie Jade made us all see at the movies it just kind of hit me. It hit me that I didn't want to just hold your hand on occasion but whenever I wanted. I wanted to be able to kiss you and cuddle with you. Since I couldn't quite figure out if you felt the same I decided not to say anything or act on it, but today I just couldn't not anymore. I had to know."
As she finished the butterflies in my stomach seemed to explode into fireworks and I put my arm around her putting my nose and mouth up against her and said, "I'm so glad you decided to ask. I never though I'd ever get a chance to be with you. I feared if I came out people would ridicule me, bully me, make my life so miserable I may just become suicidal."
Cat kissed my forehead, "I would never let that happen," she said in a sad voice that seemed to be far too deep of a sadness for this hypothetical situation.